The End or the Beginning: Can they get it right?
*
The sun was hanging low in the mid-summer sky as the crowd around her grew weary. They had been waiting for five hours in the sweltering North Carolina heat. Their signs, carefully painted, banners, furled but ready, and balloons clutched in sweaty hands all showed the love their makers kept in check, ready to pour out onto those so long prayed for, so long worried over.
And then there were the flags, hundreds of flags. Someone had taken the time to put the tiny symbols of patriotism along the nearby fence line, little girls had flags anchored in their pigtails, and fathers had flag lapel pins. Deonne, herself sporting a small flag, had long ago given up her nervous twirling and finally rolled it up and put it in her purse.
She had never been on this side of the return, the family side. She had always flown in from the carrier and climbed out of the cockpit thankful when someone was there to greet her, happy to be home, and never truly understanding the worry and fear of those left to continue on with a significant part of their life missing and in harm's way.
Deonne had worried about Kevin while she was deployed, but the constant pace of life aboard ship, the seven-day work week and twelve-hour shifts left little time to dwell on it. Life back home existed in suspended animation, with only the occasional jarring of reality. Someone's wife would have a baby, someone's father died, a spouse would graduate college, or a child made an all-star team.
But even the constant undercurrent of relationship drama and anxiety that is ever present during a long deployment among hundreds of young single and newly married sailors sits in an uneasy holding pattern, waiting to be finally worked out at the end of deployment.
The plane full of soldiers they were all waiting for had not arrived on time, there was some unknown delay. Then the man had come out and said it might not arrive at all, but he would let them know as soon as possible.
As the hours of waiting had stretched, she had grown more and more nervous. All her fears kept resurfacing. What if she had made a huge mistake? What if he really was not happy to see her? What if he looked at her with his old disdain? Or worse, what if he looked right through her? She was starting to hate each single minute of waiting more than she had all the previous months combined.
The knot in her stomach would not go away. Her father was right, she didn't like to risk her heart or her security, and she was gambling both. Her brother, Phil, had reminded her that you never win if you never play the game. So, she said goodbye to the Navy and gave up forever going Mach 2, packed her bags and moved to Fayetteville.
Eventually the man, a colonel, had come out and announced that the flight had gotten delayed indefinitely, but there was a chance it would arrive in the middle of the night. Sometimes the flights would come in the next day at the same scheduled time, so call ahead, the man said. Deonne watched as every single shoulder sagged with disappointment, and then they all trudged back to their cars.
James arranged for her to get the key for Kevin's apartment. She had come by earlier to put things in the fridge, some milk, eggs, bread, juice and homemade pudding and chocolate chip cookies. She figured if it didn't go well, she could try to get to him through his stomach. After leaving the airstrip, she had argued with herself about going back to her own apartment, but the need to see him beat out the chicken in her so she decided in the end to go to his.
She was quite familiar with his place, yet she felt like an intruder. It was so quiet and lonely without him here. What if James was wrong? What if he was furious to find her in his apartment?
Deonne wandered around the neat, masculine living room running her hand over the black leather loveseat and squeezing her hands into the soft red throw as ghosts of joy-filled memories haunted her mind. She remembered how he had fucked her hard once over the back of this couch, her hands had gripped the throw then, but in ecstasy.
Afterward he had teased her and refused to let her get dressed. She had wrapped herself up in the soft cover, but had made sure that when she sat down, it hid nothing and pretty soon her own teasing had gotten her fucked again, this time while being carried around the apartment before collapsing onto the bed.
Next she moved into the bedroom. Opening a drawer she pulled out a t-shirt and inhaled his scent. Clutching it she lay on the bed, tucking the soft cotton under her chin.
*****
Kevin reached for the light and dropped the duffel and backpack on the floor. Standing just inside the apartment, he looked around taking in the familiar furnishings, letting his weary eyes grow accustomed to the light and his brain to the clean, modern surroundings that were light years from his life two days ago. Then he saw it. He didn't recognize the bag, but he knew that NAVY key chain on the coffee table beside it. His breath caught and his eyes darted around the room, searching. Moving quickly to the bedroom door he found her lying curled up in the middle of his bed sleeping. As he stood watching her, feelings he spent months trying to bury rushed at him. He found his hands shaking as he blinked away tears at the significance of what her being here meant.
Her hair was longer, down to her shoulders, and she was wearing a short pink sun dress. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever set eyes on. He wanted to touch her, run his hand down her tan arm, to make sure it wasn't a dream. He wanted to hold her, tell her how much she meant to him. Stepping slowly forward he reached out and saw the contrast of his grubby hand next to her satin skin, the dirt and grime from loading the cargo plane having been stuck on for days and found himself unable to soil the radiant beauty that lay before him, so fresh, clean, bright.
Backing away he quietly slipped into the bathroom, silently closing the door behind him. Peeling off his clothing and stepping into the shower he felt the clean, warm water wash the dirt off, wash the stench of a harsh, often primitive struggle with the brutal realities and constant setbacks his team had encountered in trying to do their small part to help a people build a safe community.
Coming out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist, Kevin grabbed the red throw off the back of the couch to cover them since she was on top of the spread.
Carefully lying beside her, he tucked his body around hers, taking pleasure in the contact. He realized this feeling of contentment washing over him was the real feeling of being home. Truly home.
Deonne stirred and, blinking her eyes, she started to sit up.
"Shhh, go back to sleep," Kevin whispered and pulled her back to him.
"Kev?" she asked and moved again, trying to turn towards him while still half-asleep, attempting to figure it out.
"Go back to sleep. We'll talk in the morning," he promised. Kevin hated waking her, she was so peaceful, so beautiful and he relished holding her, feeling her against him. He couldn't believe she was here and he never wanted to let her go.
Crying out Deonne continued her struggle to turn around inside his arms. Then she was putting her arms around his neck and her lips were kissing his chin and jaw and neck and ear. Tears ran down her cheeks and wet his neck and face as she hugged and kissed her way up to his mouth.
"Kev," she whispered and looked at him as he gazed back in the dim light cast from the living room. She ran her hands down the sides of his face. "I missed you so much." "That doesn't even begin to describe what I felt," Kevin replied, looking at her earnest upturned face. He still couldn't believe she was here.
"Does that mean you'll take me back?" she asked as a small smile formed on her lips.
Kevin couldn't stop a little grunt of laughter. "I think it's more like, will you take me back?" As fast as it came, the smile fell from his eyes. "Dee, I don't know where to begin to say sorry for the way I..."
Deonne reached up and touched her fingers to his lips, quieting him.
"Shhh. Not now."
Kevin was already kissing the fingers she placed in front of his mouth. He skimmed his lips down her arm, feeling the softness against his cheek, then caressed her inner elbow before turning and seeking her lips. Moving over her he deepened the kiss, tangling his tongue with hers as he savored her taste, the feel of her mouth. It was just as he remembered, better than he remembered.
"I can't believe you're here," he whispered.
Deonne pushed him back and, never taking her eyes off his, sat up and reached behind to tug the zipper of her dress down. Tossing it to the floor she unsnapped the lacy white bra, letting it join the dress on the floor.
