Deonne Starts to Get a Clue
"Dr. Massey's residence."
Deonne heard her sister's voice on the other end of the line and a huge lump instantly formed in her throat, a massive sob threatening to erupt out if she said a word. She had wanted to talk to someone and she needed to tell her family about Kevin. Besides, maybe Loud Mouth Andrew had only gotten around to blabbing about her deployment to the one person on earth he shouldn't have! She stood there trying to recover enough to speak.
"Hello? Hello! If you don't say something soon, I'm going to..." Becca threatened.
Stupid angry patient making a prank call,
she thought.
"He left me, Becca!" she announced, with the last word ending on a wail.
There was a pause while Becca put it all together.
"Oh, Deonne," she replied softly. "Sweetheart, what happened?"
"We got... got in this fight at the hotel. He got so mad at me... and he left!" The last words had her sobbing again.
Becca waited. Little Timmy came up to his mother demanding to be held, so she picked him up and went to the fridge with the phone wedged between her shoulder and ear. Timmy happily took his sippy cup and wiggled to be put down.
"What made him so mad, honey?"
"He found out I'm deploying in a couple weeks."
"You're deploying in a couple weeks? Before Christmas? Deonne! Why didn't you say anything?"
"I just wanted Thanksgiving to be normal. I didn't want to spend the whole time talking about it." Deonne wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed. Why did she have to be such a damned girly-girl about these things?
"Honey, he'll get over it. Of course he's mad! Have you talked to him since you got home?"
"No. I haven't had the nerve to try. I've picked up the phone a hundred times, but I don't know what I can say to make it right. I don't think he's going to get over it. He's really mad and it's more than that. He wants me to get out. We've been having that argument for months."
"Oh, I see."
Her sister fell silent for a while before expressing, "Deonne, you're dating a guy in the Army. How can that work out? So, he wants you to get out so you can be within a hundred miles of each other, what's wrong with that? Does he plan to stay in the Army, make a career of it?"
"Oh, yeah. He's a warrior. Eats it up."
"You're a warrior at heart too, Deonne. A fighter. And what did you call flying... an addiction? You can't believe they pay you to do it? Is that what you said once?" Becca reminded her as she smiled into the phone.
Deonne was surprised. She never thought Becca paid much attention to her.
"But Deonne, I never thought you really wanted to make a career out of the Navy. You've told me yourself that your job takes all of you and leaves very little left over and you couldn't imagine a year-long deployment away from a child. You're going to have to make a decision sometime. You only have a year left."
"Yeah, but... What if I do it, get out, move clear across country to a strange place and I end up with nothing but a broken heart and trashed career? And, I don't know if I want to, or even can live almost everyday wondering if he's safe. He does dangerous work, and I understand better than most just how dangerous. It's easier being in the military than being married to it."
She flopped down onto her overstuffed, shabby-chic couch.
Not that marriage was ever brought up,
she thought sadly . "Besides," Deonne added, "I don't even know if he loves me."
A laugh burst from Becca. "You're kidding me, right?"
"Well, he's never said. There's lust, for sure, but isn't love more? He doesn't give me anything, just, 'move over here'."
Laughing quietly, Becca shook her head. Her sister was so clueless! So insecure! "Trust me! I don't really know him, but it's obvious that he's crazy about you. I get the impression that man would walk on hot coals for you, darling!" Feeling her sister's doubts, she said, "Honey,
think.
What man in his right mind would travel hundreds of miles to take on a tribe of Appalachian barbarians? For an occasional toss in the sack? That man's in love with you.
"Ahh, sweetheart, you have so much to offer, you accomplish everything you ever set out to do, how can you be so unsure of yourself? Maybe he's waiting for something more from you. He's taking a risk, too, you know?"
Hoping some of that would sink in, Becca paused before adding, "And one more thing before I have to go and do car pool. There is no guarantee in the love business, but sometimes you have to step out and take a chance. You have to decide if you think this thing with Kevin is worth the gamble.
"For a girl who gambles her life everyday, you sure are timid about your heart! Honey, if you aren't willing, walk away and be happy for what you had. If not, call him. He may have been the one to leave, but you might have to be the one to make the first step and that's going to be hard from an aircraft carrier. He needs something from you."
Deonne stared at her phone after she hung up. Opening it back up she punched in Kevin's speed dial, but her finger paused over the send button. Sucking in a breath she pressed.
"You've reached the cell phone of Captain Kevin Banning, I'm not available right now, please leave a message and I'll return it if I can, otherwise reach me at the unit."
"Hi, Kevin. It's me, Deonne. Please call me back. Please don't end it like this." By now Deonne was whispering, tears in her voice. "Please call me."
He didn't call.
Christmas morning came and normal operations were suspended on the carrier and Deonne didn't have the duty until later. Deonne had just flown in four days ago and was still trying to get settled. This was her second cruise, though the first was much shorter, and, like last time, everyone was cranked up into high gear at the beginning of a tour.
She was sitting on her bed with her meager gifts and cards spread out in front of her, thoroughly depressed. Most of the squadron was celebrating together down at the ward room. Due to her own lack of communication most of her family had not been able to do their usual gift mailing to her in time. Her sister, Megan, in Australia had known because she could never keep a secret from her and besides, she was safely half a world away!
Becca must have rushed out the minute she hung up from their call and bought her gifts and mailed them. Camille and Phil's neatly wrapped gift with white on white paper and ribbon came by overnight courier at the last minute along with the sweetest Nativity finger painting by George Junior. That she hung up in her small desk area immediately. Thankfully, she had had time to stow them aboard before the ship sailed.
Christmas was always the most depressing day of the year for Deonne since she joined the Navy and this one was definitely ranking number one. No matter how many people were around the only people she wanted to see were her family. And Kevin.
Reaching down, she opened Megan's card first. She missed Megan almost as much as she missed Kevin. They sent e-mails daily, even when Deonne was aboard, and they talked about once a week. Opening the summer beach-time inspired holiday card, she had to smile. She had trouble imagining Christmas celebrated at the beach like many Sydney-siders did, according to her sister. Her sister had a short message for her.
Dee-Dee,
