Playing Games

I quickly dismissed that thought of mind when I remembered how he hurt me. So I jumped right in. Okay, not right in, but I stepped in the water. I began by making an online dating profile. I'd chat with the men, identify their what type of man they were, failed frontman, marrying kind, professional party boy, player, the older man the list goes on, then I'd gauge their weaknesses and play with them until they were dependent upon me. Until I was vital to their lives. And it felt good to hold their heart in my hands. I felt powerful.

One night, Ezra caught me writing in my notebook and finally asked what it was.

"It's a guideline to men." I answered.

He sat down beside me and chuckled.

"A guideline to men? Why would you need that? Just flash that smile and they'll be head over heels. I know I am."

I knew Ezra had a crush on me but he was the only friend I had and although I liked him too I didn't want to mess things up like I did with Rich. So I swatted his shoulder and laughed his comment off.

"Seriously Ashley, I've been watching you scribble in that notebook and check your phone and laptop nonstop for weeks now, and I still don't understand so explain it to me."

I took a deep breath before I explained.

"Okay, so um well, I made these profiles on different online dating sites and I used the stuff in this book to get into these guys' minds and now they love me. They send me gifts and money, this one guy even proposed to me. It's crazy how little you have to work for someone when you know what they want, what their weaknesses are."

Ezra stared at me as if I had grown two heads.

"Ashley this is dangerous."

"I know, I know. But that's part of the fun. Wondering how far I could take this without it blowing up in my face excites me."

Ezra rubbed a hand over his face and looked at me sadly.

"He really hurt you didn't he?"

I looked at Ezra in surprise. I had never told him what happened with Rich and the question knocked me off kilter.

"Um, I don't know what you mean."

"I mean that he hurt you so bad that you're searching online, talking with strangers for love. It's just so stu-WHACK!" my hand connected with his face. I was seething.

"This is not about him. He and I are done. This is about what makes me feel good. What makes me feel empowered and in control. They're attention, their love makes me feel untouchable, like I'm more than who I am. So don't you ever say I'm stupid for doing something that makes me feel good. Ever." Ezra just stared at me with shock all over his face.

I picked up my things and left. I didn't speak to Ezra for a few days after that and our non-communication would have probably continued had he not been right. I was walking to my new dorm room (because I could not look at Michelle without wanting to punch her face in) when one of my devotees found me.

"Ashley, I can't believe we're finally here...together."

I didn't know who in the hell this man was and I definitely didn't want to find out.

"Um, you must have me mistaken with someone else. I'm sorry."

I tried to walk past him but he grabbed me by the arms and pulled me to him.

"No. It's you. Because your face has been haunting my dreams. Please just give me a goodnight kiss Ashley."

I tried to push away from him but he just gripped my arms tighter.

"Let me go! You fucking psycho!"

I kneed him in the crotch and his hands left my arms as they went to cup his balls. I didn't waste anytime running the hell away from him while screaming at the top of my lungs but neither did he in catching me and shutting me up.

He grabbed me by my hair and held me against his chest. I could feel a bulge in his pants which made me try harder to get out of his grip. But then I felt the cold sharp blade of his knife against my throat. I froze. I pleaded with him to let me go as tears began to run down my face.

"Don't cry baby girl. I'll take good care of you."

He began roughly squeezing my breasts and kissing my neck then, and I just cried harder. But just as his hands began going under my shirt, someone called my name and I instantly began screaming.

"HELP! PLEASE! HE HAS A KNIFE! HEEEEELP!"

The man pressed the knife deeper into my throat breaking the skin and I immediately shut up but the damage was done. Whoever called my name had already begun running toward us and the man knew his time was up. He released me and bolted. But he wasn't fast enough because my savior was able to tackle him in just a few short seconds.

I hurried to where the two were fighting but when I made it to the scene it wasn't much of a fight anymore. My attempted rapist was getting his face beat in and was spurting blood everywhere. I tried to pull my savior off the man before he killed him and I realized my savior was none other than Ezra!

"Ezra! Stop!" I screamed.

It was as if my voice brought him back and he stopped pounding the guy's face in. He stood up kicked the man in the side, then pulled me into one of his bear hugs and I held on for dear life. He rubbed my back as he whispered in my ear.