Chapter 10: Bri and Stony Get Friendly, Stony Chews Me Out.
***Sunday, August 11, 2304***
I didn't see my wife for five days. Because of the riot, the Mayor, who had emerged victorious from his fight, and the White Girl Pride Day town committee, together with the producers of the show, decided to put the three Pharaoh finalists up in our downtown luxury hotel for two nights. After that the three of them were whizzed off to New York City for fashion, grooming and culture.
Bri and Stony carried me out that night. They got us home safely, got me cleaned up and put to bed. Bri gave me one of her sedatives and I was out like a light.
I took the next day off with Roger's approval. Calls and texts and emails and more calls and emails and texts streamed in nonstop with congratulations, to me, to us, to my wife.
Three of the more memorable were,
a text from my father-in-law: Well you managed not to fuck it up, but you came close. Best we could have hoped for. Congratulations. Love. Dad.
a voice message on my phone from Willy: Jeff-er-ay, she's a wiley lassie she is. I'll send ye the phots. Dae ye hink uir lucky Pharaoh will benefit frae Eric's wark?
an email from Dr. Glockenspiel: Herzlichen Glückwunsch zu deiner weißen Schlampe! Bieten jetzt 15% Rabatt auf alle Klitorisringe. The addendum from Klara made it clearer: He wants to congratulate you on your slut, and remind you that we will soon offer a 15% reduction on clit rings. Keep us in mind! (smily face), Klara. She had attached five photos of herself, full frontal nude, and closeups of her belly button, tits, tongue and clit. Sapphire barbells, a different line altogether. Never stop selling.
Alicia called me at 11:45 a.m., in a rush to make a lunch with the producers and Lady Florence. We only got a couple of minutes for me to tell her how much I loved her and how proud I was of her and ask when she'd be home. She told me how much she loved me and how I'd really helped her so much and that she couldn't say, it depended how long they'd be in New York. I joked with her and asked if the tongue ring had worked but she seemed a little miffed and said, "No, silly, I don't need that kind of help" but wondered if I could notice it from where I sat. (No.) She was nice about her competitor, saying, "that poor, poor girl Roberta" a few times. Then she asked me what time I left and hoped I hadn't been hurt in the rioting and I didn't feel like telling her about my nose or about Stony or Briana so I just said I was fine and that I left after the excitement of her win. Then she had to run, Lady Florence would never forgive her for being late.
After that I accepted calls only from Roger, Stony and Bri. Roger certainly knew my wife's name now, declaring that Alicia was as fine little white girl as he'd seen in ages and that he'd be proud to fuck her, and to make sure she showed up in September for the company's fall pig-roast. I didn't exactly appreciate it, but that's the way uppers sometimes are when they get overexcited. They don't mean any harm.
Bri called to say she was bringing us soup. Oh, Alicia wouldn't be there? Would Stony? Expect her at 4 p.m.
Stony called half an hour later to say she was bringing us dinner right after work, something simple but healthful and nourishing. Oh, Alicia wouldn't be there? Would Bri? Expect her by 6.
So I called Briana back to say it was fine and that Stony wouldn't get here till 6. And Bri said her afternoon had filled up and she wouldn't be able to make it till 5:45.
So I called Stony back and told her Bri might or might not be gone by 6, just so she knew. And she said she was getting out of work early, they all were because so many staff were hung over, and that she'd be here with dinner by 5:30.
And I wonder if you notice anything about these conversations. Anything at all?
Well, if you're thinking it's about me then you might be certifiable. As certifiable as Mrs. O'Leary, who was admitted the prior evening to the psych ward of our leading hospital. Nut house material.
Look again. See?
I am a married man. Married, I will forever think, to the prettiest and lovingest and wonderfulest girl in the world, to a Pharaoh finalist! (Not to brag, she would hate that.) Bri and Stony knew that too. I could tell they were competing to take care of me. But that's just because they have such big hearts. And in Bri's case, because she loves Alicia too. And, let's face it, because the previous night had been pretty hard on me despite the incredible outcome.
No, what should stand out is, if I'm not mistaken, the two girls wanted to see one another again. So long, each thought, as she got here first.
Which made me think back to the night before, to White Girl Pride Day, but not the ending, not to Alicia's thrilling finish. No, to the parts before that. Stuff that was never going to stream.
My two friends started off on the wrong foot due to Bri's being unintentionally rude to Stony. But once the girls on stage started to perform they suddenly became bosom buddies, cunt-chums we call them. "Oh, the lavender is so pretty," would say Stony or "that hairdo is soooo 23rd century," would say Bri, or "dude, her high beams are blinding me," or "tits like a loaf of day old bread," or "mmm nice long legs," or "God, what a cretin," or "her ass is just incredible," or "God, I would kill for that gap," etc. etc. You get it. Girls are like that.
And not only what they said but how touchy-feely they got saying it. Gentle, cautious touches, then hugs and kisses and arms around one another's waists, then smacking high-fives, and joy and dancing and singing and laughing and loving sorority.
I was so happy they'd broken the ice and become friends.
It was nice for me too. I was sort of ignored and could focus on my own critique of Alicia's performance (perfection) and her competitor's.
Then contestant Moe'Neyah Dene Hazelton-Smith came out in her bikini. I could see right away that Stony liked her, a white girl with an African name. And Moe'Neyah was cute (she was the one with the high beams Stony liked) even if she did end up in 14th place. But what surprised us was Bri's reaction.
Bri's eyes lit up and a shiny pink tongue peeped out the corner of her mouth. She said simply, "I could feast on that for days." And laughed.
Surprised us? More like electroshocked us, blew up our brains. Stony and I froze. Feast? On her? On another girl? WTF?
It was weird then and the two girls went sort of quiet after that for about five minutes, barely spoke to each other. And then Stony broke the ice, "That bikini is the bomb" was all she said. Bri laughed and hugged her and kissed her and the two of them went right back to the way they'd been. I'd see them kiss and hug and dance and touch and think how sweet girls are to one another. I'd see the gleam in the their eyes and think, wow they really do like each other.
Once in the 11th grade I came across an obscure and ancient tome in the school library called "Jeunes Filles Explorant". The book may have been there by mistake. It was almost falling apart, laying on its side, wedged behind some books on decorative ivy. It hadn't been borrowed for the last 129 years and I couldn't find it in the online catalogue. It was a pretty short book, and we were required to read something for our French III class. I had always loved the kind of story where kids are exploring foreign lands and cultures and getting in all sorts of crazy scrapes till they get back to civilization. This was perfect for me. I decided to read it right there on one of those awful wood chairs.
I guess my French reading skills were kind of poor, so much of the story went right past me, and it turned out to have practically zero exploring. What I didn't miss was the central theme about two girls falling in love somehow, as if that were possible. I got into it the way you can get into fantasy/sci-fi things, the kinds of things they seemed addicted to back in ancient times, like in the 21st century, and enjoyed it thoroughly even if Mademoiselle Ramparts ended up giving me a C- on my book report due to poor grammar and a poor choice of text.
The reason I mention it is now Stony and Bri want to see one another again, which is a little weird since they hardly know one another. It made me think back to that book, back to the two girls, Chloe and Annalise, and how much they liked each other. And how little things like getting in trouble for playing boules when the court was reserved for men would bring them closer and closer. And how they also loved laughing and hugging and kissing one another. A lot.
I imagined I was becoming a knight of old, back when Chloe and Annalise were living, like I lived with sci-fi barbarians in the 21st century. It gave me a good laugh I'll tell you.
