Ode to the Pizza Delivery Guy

Knock. Knock. "That'll be $17.50"

"Here you go."

"Earl. give that man a tip!"

"A tip? Oh yeah. Stay away from the track!" Earl you cheap motherfucker. You got me again. And I gotta stand here with this stupid smile as you close the door in my face. I've long since learned not to give you the satisfaction of slamming the door in on me with my hand out. This is bullshit, I think to myself. A 27 year old black man delivering pizza in my spare time for some extra cash. Life shore isn't going the way I pictured it so far.

"Young man!" I here a call from the distance, interrupting my thoughts as I'm about to jump into my ride.

"Huh!?!"

"Did Earl tip you like I told him?"

You know that cheap bastard ain't comin' off no cash. Never has, never will. "No ma'am," is what I reply.

"I'm so sorry. Could you come back for a minute while I get you something. "Earl you cheap fucker. How man times I got to tell you..." I walk back to the house as she gives Earl a thorough tongue lashing. I can't help but laugh. A year an a half she's been yelling to Earl to tip me, and a year and a half I've been jipped. I guess she's had enough of being ignored. Let's see how she makes amends for 18 months of dissing, I think to myself as I finish my long slow walk back to the door. Come on old woman. I look at my watch. Fuck taking you so long.

"Come on in young man" I slowly creep through the door, adjusting my eyes to the light. "Here in the living room." She yells out. Been here at least 15 times, and have never been past this front door. Their living room is 15 feet away. Just have to go down this hall. Not exactly the color I would've gone with, but I ain't paying the bills. I check out the pictures on the walls as I head towards the living room. They're all pictures of the old lady. She used to be a dancer. Damn she was hot. Look at that tight little spankable ass. That's the problem I have with white women. They look like a sexy dancing butterfly today, then somebodies grandmother tomorrow. The last couple are of her in sexy outfits in different dancing positions. Her body was magnificent. I'm approaching the end of the hallway.

"Wooeee!!!!!" My knees get weak. The room spins. My mind begins to shut down. I turn to exit. What the fuck did I just see? I try to rationalize, but my mind just can't comprehend. Come on, move damn it. I hate it when you want to do something, but your body won't cooperate. The room spun faster faster. Everything got darker darker.

"Wake up honey. It's OK. Just had a little spell is all" I could feel sprinkles of water on my face. Things were foggy but clearing. "Ooh you black buck you" Yeah, black buck. Black buck? Suddenly I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. The sky was blue. Water was wet. There's nothing like your girl waking you up with a fantastic blow job. But didn't she kick me to the couch over a week ago. Wait! Where the fuck!?! The fog lifted a little more. More water sprinkles. "Slurpp. Mmm, you taste wonderful.

Ooh Godddd! I am so afraid to look down between my legs.!WHY OH LORD!! I scream out in my head. I open one eye then the other. The old woman is in front of me on her knees smiling as she looks up at me. I never really got a look at her before. Earl always answered the door. Now that I see her up close, she ain't too bad looking. Not that old either. Gotta be in her early forties. What the fuck Earl got in them jeans to keep this bitch. To my right I see Earl, old and wrinkled. Sixtyish, standing there in bra and matching panties and garters. I almost pass out again, but manage to maintain. Help me Jesus, I done woke up in freaky town."Listen. Brother man just wanted a tip."

"We got a lot of tips to make up." She said in her sexiest kitten voice.

"Just one will due."

"Oh no. Earl here's got to learn. Don't you Earl?!" She yelled to him as she pulled a small whip from nowhere and spanked his wrinkled pantied ass. After dozens of smart assed tips, Earl was finally speechless. Along with today's gem, I've received such great tips as avoid the clap, don't drop the soap, and my personal favorite don't eat yellow snow. "Earl's been a bad boy," she purrs as she turns her attention back to me. "Earl knows that he is to do exactly what I say, when I say it. Isn't that right Earl?"

"Yes mistress," he offers back weakly. seeing Earl like this is comical. Along with his saucy undies, Earl is sporting a roach clip on each nipple. They are joined together by a gold chain. He has gloves on each hand that extend to his elbows, and a collar around his neck. When I first entered, I could have sworn she was leading him on his hand and knees by a leash. What a sight.

"I've told you to give this young man a tip time and again, and you haven't listened once!" She gave him a harsh scolding look that sent chills down both our spines. Turning her attention back to me, she began sensuously rubbing my dick. I told myself that I had to get out of here, but my little man betrayed me. How can you get hard at a time like this, you little prick. You get any harder, I'll cut you off myself. I swear on low! Did he listen? Does he ever fucking listen when I tell him no. How could I explain this to my girl. File this one under what she don't know won't hurt her. Getting back to the action, she told me that I was going to enjoy showing earl the error of his ways. "Are you ready?" I tried to maintain my composure, maintain my friendly delivery boy to customer tone of voice in my reply.

"BITCH ARE YOU CRAZY!?," is what I meant to say anyway. It came out sounding more like, "I don't think we should" That's the best I could do with her talented mouth wrapped around my member. She ignored me by sucking even harder. I didn't have a chance. My eyes shut. My toes curled up. Bitch ass nigga. I surrendered, grabbed a lock of brunette and streaking gray hair. If you can't be 'em, join 'em.

She began degrading Earl between sucks. "Look at me suck this big black cock Earl." Suck, suck. "I'm going to satisfy myself with this big chocolate cock." Suck, suck. "This cock is going to satisfy me like yours never could." Suck, suck.

At this time, I felt the need to interject. "Let's get this straight baby," I said finally asserting some authority. "That's a full grown DICK you're sucking on hun. You see that there," I said pointing to the pantied geezer standing idly by. "Pull your panties down bitch!" It didn't surprise me in the least when he complied without a word. "That little shriveled thing is a cock. Suck this man's dick!" Still having a handful of hair, I forced the little man down her throat until she gagged.

"You hear that Earl?" She said breathlessly when I finally let her up for air. "I'm sucking a real man's dick. You don't have a dick Earl. You don't even have a cock. You got a little pecker Ea...(gulp) I didn't let her finish. Too much talking, more sucking. "He's dominating me with his big dick Ea..." (gulp) She drove me crazy as the urgency increased in her voice and sucking. "I can get your entire little pecker in my mouth, but not this big black dick Ea..." (gulp) I was purposely timing that last Earl from her lips with a slam on my dick. "Look Earl, I can't even close my hand around it. Go ahead, put your little pecker between your fingers and play with yourself. I bet this dick could fuck me all night. Can you even get it up Ea..." (gulp) She knew what i was doing, and she kept feeding me that last Earl. "I should make you suck his dick Earl. Let you feel real dick in your wrinkled mouth. You would suck a dick wouldn't you bitch."

She lost me on that one. "Let's not and say we... On second thought, let's just not." Her mouth was good, but that last statement told me it was time to make a change, time to give her THE DICK! I got to my feet, dragging her by her hair to a kneeling position. With her ass high in the air, I opened my legs and bent my knees, bringing my midsection down to her level. This was one of my patented moves. I chose this one for its nasty look. I've watched myself in the mirror while performing this little maneuver. It looks absolutely obscene. Standing there fucking her from behind, never letting go of the hair, towering over her like some giant Mandingo warrior. Riding her like some crazed demon. I grabbed my member with my free hand, slapped her across her lily white ass a few times with it. She had a sudden intake of breath. I could see red marks form where my dick made contact with her milky behind. "Prepare yourself bitch. This is gonna hurt!"

Just like that, I slammed my rock hard dick full into that pussy. She let out a blood curdling scream. I bathed in her agony. I could tell Earl was impressed. He came immediately while jerking little peter between is thumb and pointer finger. Thank god this is a house and not an apartment. I can imagine what 5-0 would think busting up in here, seeing a young black man abusing this old woman's poor white pussy. I know this town, shoot first ask questions later.

After no less than 5 minutes of screaming, she was able to roll with the pounding. She resumed her degrading of Earl. "I'm finally being fucked by a real dick Earl. He's fucking killing me. That's why Mom left your sorry ass all those years back! You never gave her a good fuck in your life." That last comment almost made me miss a stroke. ALMOST! My dick hardened unbearably instead. If at all possible, I increased my tempo, increased the force of my pounding. "This is my new Daddy Earl! Fuck me Daddy! Fuck your white pussy! This is your pussy Daddy! Cum in your white... She never finished. Her body tensed. She shook violently as though she were epileptic. Her spasming pussy brought me to the brink, but I had one more surprise. Just before I unleashed my seed, I pulled out, aimed for that tight fisted puckered brown opening. My stroke could not have been truer. BLAMM!! The blood curdling wail returned one last time. Millions of my little boys swam forth into that good night.

I finally released her hair from my clutches. She collapsed in a heap. I admired my handy work as I dressed myself. Enough admiring I thought, how am I going to explain being gone for so long on one delivery. She hadn't moved much while I was dressing. As a matter of fact, she hadn't moved at all. I wasn't sure if she were even conscious. My head was getting bigger by the second. She finally stirred. Feebly she ordered Earl to clean the cum of a real man, my cum, out of her asshole. Of course he immediately moved behind her and started gently lapping at her abused asshole.

"I gotta go" I couldn't take it. I'm a freak, but these people are FREAKS. Poor Earl. I bet he'll tip me next time.

(next week)

Knock. Knock. "That'll be $17.50"

"Here you go."

"Earl. give that man a tip!"

"A tip? Oh yeah. Make love not war." Slam. Right in my face.

"Oh lord. Here we go again."