Now I Now What Real Love Is

I sat on the edge of the bed sobbing and looking at a puddle of vomit and tears that I shed last evening. It was the worst evening of my life and I wished I was dead. That was 25 years ago and this is why. I was on vacation with my friend and we both managed to hook up with two guys while at the little pub a few blocks from our hotel in Aruba. We were staying for two weeks this time and we were going to enjoy every day we were here. We are both white girls and she met a white guy and I hooked up with a black one. Black men have always had a special place in my heart but never pursued any back in the states. I have had a few express interest in me, but I always made up some kind of lame excuse so my parents wouldn't be ashamed of their white baby girl with the bad black boy.

I went all out for this trip getting all new clothes and accessories for this trip including sexy night gowns, underwear and bras. I was itching to get laid if it took every penny of my next two paychecks to pay for it. We had come several times before and we each got a guy and gave them a piece of ass but it didn't really do anything for me.

Tonight was our second night and we were out to get our men. We had a nice dinner alone and talked and we saw a few men come in and we eyed them up and checked them out and they too were checking us out. She is a very pretty girl with black hair and green eyes and 36C tits and weighed about 120 pounds and stands about 5'5" and gets a great tan in no time.

I on the hand are very fair skinned with blue/green eyes, strawberry blond hair, stand about 5'3" weigh about 110 pounds and have 38DD tits which always managed to get the attention of the men. I got a little sunburn today which can be seen on my black, white and purple outfit. I thought I looked pretty good tonight and it would appear that Glenn thought I did too. I could feel his eyes on me and I managed to give him a little show while we were having our dinner. Mandy was flirting with this white guy that was waiting tables and she made a date with him to meet after his shift was over. I told her I think I had someone lined up too so she should enjoy herself.

Mandy went back to the room to change her clothes and I made my way to the bar and asked Glenn "Is anyone sitting here handsome??" His response was "Not until you sit your pretty ass down here". We talked and ordered some drinks and laughed and decided to leave to take a walk on the beach which was across the street from our hotel. He bought us a bottle of JD and we began our walk. He opened the bottle and took a healthy gulp and handed the bottle to me and I did the same. We were both at this time feeling pretty good. Glenn asked me where I was staying and I told him at the hotel across the street and he asked if he could take me back to my room and I said he could.

We managed to make our way across the street and lucky we weren't driving or we would have gotten arrested. I saw Mandy waiting at the bar for her man and she gave me the wink and Glenn and I made our way to my hotel room. Stumbling to find the key to the room I finally got it and he had to help me open the door. We kept the air conditioning on to keep the room nice and cold for sleeping and it hit me hard. Glenn took me in his arms and started to kiss me and I kissed back and then he made his way to my tits and started to squeeze them and pinch my nipples and I was feeling pretty tipsy so what ever he wanted he was going to get. He put me on the bed and undressed me and started to suck on my tits and then wanted to eat out my shaved pussy. I felt no pain so he just went to it and then stopped and took off his shirt and then his pants and then his shorts and he had this very long thick black cock and it actually scared me. I didn't want to suck it or for him to fuck me with it. I just wanted to go to bed.

He tried to force me to suck his cock as he put it toward my lips but I wouldn't take it. I love giving head but I just didn't feel like it. I was starting to feel really sick from all the JD we were drinking. He wouldn't get off me or let me go. He forced his cock into my mouth and instructed me to "Suck me off you cock tease" and was nasty. I was scared so I did and I didn't enjoy it at all. He then pulled out his cock and spread my legs apart until it hurt and he rammed his cock into my pussy and it hurt. He didn't stop and he kept on pounding me harder and harder and then pulled out and I tried to get away from him and he threw me face down on the bed and fucked me from behind and kept at it and I was in tears and feeling really sick. I asked him to stop that he was hurting me and he told me I teased him all night and now he wanted to get what he wanted.

The next thing I knew he was forcing my ass up in the air and I screamed no and he told me to shut my fucking mouth and to never scream like that again. I told him I was going to be sick and he told me to shut up. He took his fucking cock and shoved it hard up my ass and I cried and screamed. He pulled out his cock and put me on my back and slapped my face and told me to take it like the cock tease that I was and I told him to stop because I was going to throw up. He continued stroking his cock that was about to explode and he jerked off all off my face, tits and then saved some to shoot inside my pussy. I was scared that he may get me pregnant.

He finally got off me and I ran to the bathroom and threw up and I couldn't stop and I was crying and I was a mess. He came into the bathroom and dragged me back to the bed and told me that I was a bitch and a tease and could never satisfy any man ever and he told me if I reported him to the police he would make sure I would not get home and he would kill me. I was so scared I started to get sick again and threw up by the bed. He told me he was leaving and hoped I had a lousy rest of my vacation. I cried all night and I finally fell asleep for a bit and woke up and Mandy never made it back to the room. I hope she was having a better time.

I never told anyone about this happening not even Mandy. I lived with this fear of black men for a while but I still found them very sexy and attractive.

Here it was 25 years later and I was out with a few friends and I saw this sexy black guy and I felt I had to talk to him. I haven't dated much since my trip back then and I never told anyone why and didn't even tell my best friend who worried that I turned into a nun or gone gay. I told her I haven't found anyone that has interested me enough. I excused myself from my friends and made my way to the bar and introduced myself to Jim. Jim took my hand and kissed it and offered to buy me a drink and I accepted. We talked and laughed and had some fun. I asked him to join me with my friends and he did. The girls wanted to leave within the next hour and I wanted to stay. My best friend told me to stay but to call for a ride if I needed one and right then Jim offered to take me home and she felt better knowing I was getting a ride home.

Jim and I actually left when the girls did and he asked me to join him for a coffee at the diner and I thought why not. We were getting along famously and he was telling me that he wanted to see me again and asked me on a date and I accepted. I told him that I didn't date much but he made me feel comfortable. Neither of us were drunk and I felt that I had to explain what happened on my vacation to him in case we ever got close to to the point of making love with each other. He was so good to me and held me and let me just tell him and he called Glenn "a prick and a bastard" and said that Glenn would get his.

We made it back to my condo where I invited him in and he accepted. I thanked him for allowing me to spill my guts and cry and for a nice evening and he told me that I had to unleash my anger and he had a nice evening too. With that he planted a gentle kiss on my lips and kissed him back and we started to kiss deeper and more passionate. We started exploring each other and before we got much further he told me, "Joan, I will never hurt you, force you to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing and we could stop this anytime it gets to be much for you". I thanked him and kissed him and we started making out and then touching and then we got naked.

Jim was so gentle with me kissing my lips, cheeks, neck and then gently rubbed and squeezed my tits. He slowly inserted his fingers in my oh so wet pussy and I could feel his cock and I wanted to suck it so badly. He let me take it in my mouth and I went on his cock so fast. I sucked it and licked it and jerked it and he was moaning with pleasure and he was getting harder and harder. He pulled out of my mouth and gently entered my pussy and we built up a rhythm and we were into each other like I always imagined love to be like. He smiled as he took me in his arms and promised to take care of me always. We laid in bed and fell asleep.

I never felt so safe and secure in my entire life and I cannot wait to introduce Jim as the love of my life. I am going to make him a big breakfast and then ask him to make love to me again. I'm hoping this isn't a dream and I never have to get myself mixed up with the wrong guy ever again. I hope that we will be together now and always. I guess things do happen for a reason.