I'm a white female getting close to the big 50. I grew up in a very racist family on a farm in the Texas panhandle. When I was in high school, the schools in my area had started the integration process, but there was really no mixing between black and white students in reality. It was like two separate schools, one black and one white, within the same school.
Don't ask me why, because given my family's attitude towards black people I should have never had an attraction to black boys, but I did. From the time I started having sexual feelings towards boys in my early teens, there were just something about black males that effected me in ways that I didn't feel with white males. Of course, I couldn't act on any of my feelings towards black boys. To do so would have surely resulted in the black boy being hurt badly by someone in my family and I would have been rejected by most family members. Even at the tender age of 13 I realized that. So, I kept my desires to myself and satisfied my desires by masturbating while thinking about black boys. I became very good at hiding my desires and feelings.
Like I said, my father owned a farm. He always hired blacks at harvest time and at other times to do odd jobs around the farm. My bedroom was an upstairs room that looked down on the farm yard and some of the fields. I had a perfect view of a toolshed that the black hires was always going in and out. I would set at my window and watch them and fantasize. It didn't take me long to discover that a lot of the guys would go around to the side of the toolshed and pee when they had to. I'm sure they didn't realize that anyone could see anything, but I used to fantasize that they knew I was watching and was putting on a show for me. Even though I could see them peeing, I wanted a closer view and saved my allowance and bought a pair of binoculars. I told my parents they were for bird watching and sporting events. So, from age 13 until I graduated highschool and left for college, I spent many hours sitting at that window with binoculars in hand looking at all sizes and shapes of black cocks peeing behind that shed.
No one in my family ever discovered my little secret and I went through the pretense of dating white guys. I even lost my virginity to one my last year of high school, but I got no satisfaction from it at all. I went away to college in the early 70's with one thought in mind. That was to finally turn fantasy into reality and fuck my first black guy. It took me about 6 months into my first year at college, but I finally befriended another girl named Stella. It was sort of common knowledge at school that Stella dated black guys. Stella was a petite redhead with freckles like you wouldn't believe and large tits for someone so petite. She wasn't what I would call a great beauty, but she just had that "fuck me" look that seem so natural to some girls. It was definitely a look I didn't share at that point in my life. I always thought Stella looked like Sissy Spacek, the actress, but with big tits.
Anyhow, we became friends and started hanging out together. It was the odd couple. She was barely 5' tall, skinny as a rail with this flaming red hair. I was a fairly tall blonde that definitely looked like she had just come off the farm. It didn't take her long to realize that I had an interest in black boys and soon was telling me all the dirty details about things she did with them. I think she got a perverse pleasure out of watching me get so excited at her stories. I finally got to a point where I told her I just had to try my first one. She agreed to set up a meeting with one that she knew but I had to agree to let her watch everything. At that point in time, I would have agreed to anything.
