*I would like to give a special thanks to an awesome person (you know who you are) for help in collaborating and brainstorming this story together. The story wouldn't be half as good without your help. And a big thanks goes out to all my readers and commentators who motivate and inspire me, even the negative ones, who I love to piss off. Your negativity inspires me all the more. I just hope that after you read my story entirely through, oh vitriolic anonymous ones, you have the presence of mind to grab a towel and clean yourselves off before getting to work typing out your descriptive, outraged, negativity and moral indignation!*
A few days later, Erica finished her classes for the day and drove to the bistro where Robert had arranged to meet with her. On the way there, Erica wondered what Robert was going to say to her. Well, she did have a clue, but an ultimatum! What was that all about? It sounded so serious and foreboding.
She hadn't seen or spoken with her husband in several weeks now, although she hadn't done so with hurtful intent towards him. It was just that with her studies, she hadn't had much free time, and what little free time she did have was reserved for her and Tre. Besides, her house was an hour drive away from her dorm, much too far away.
So, she knew this ultimatum of Robert's was something important involving their marriage. She was a little nervous, but she had known that it might come to this. For the past two months Robert had seemed to finally come to accept her relationship with Tre, but during this time she never really knew how he felt about it. Was he resentful, indifferent, or unhappy? She had no way of knowing. He had hidden his emotions from her in the few times that they had communicated, and he always appeared so stoic.
Did he want to meet with her to announce and arrange a divorce? She really hoped not. For while she had developed a strong, intense, and deep love relationship with Tre, she could honestly say that she had not fallen out of love with her husband. However, it was a love that needed a little redefining. This, she decided, would be the basis of her counterpoint to whatever Robert had to say to her today.
She had worked hard at redefining her love to him, slowly and subtly over time, since the beginning of her relationship with Tre. But today, she figured, may be the day of make or break for their marriage, and she was at least prepared for that outcome, as much as she hoped it would not come to that.
She arrived at the bistro and walked in. She looked around and spotted Robert sitting alone at a small table for two. Gracefully, she walked over to him with her chin up, full of confidence.
"Hi Robert," she said, smiling pleasantly.
"Hello Erica," he replied sullenly as Erica took her seat opposite of him.
He looked haggard and unkept. They looked at each other in silence for a short time, which began to grow uncomfortably awkward until the waiter approached. Erica noticed Robert was nursing a glass of beer.
"I'll take a beer as well," she told the waiter.
"How's school been going for you?" Robert asked.
"Oh, it has been lots of hard work, but I am getting it done. I have tried calling you."
"Yeah."
"Yeah, I just wanted to see if you're ok."
"I needed time to myself. I have had a lot on my mind lately and I have been sorting it all out." He took down a gulp of beer as the waiter returned with Erica's glass. She took a small sip.
"So, your thoughts are sorted, I presume, which is why you asked me to come here."
"I've volunteered for an assignment to Germany. I leave in three days. All my things are packed and in order. I will be gone for six months," he said bluntly without emotion.
"Oh!"
Robert searched her face for a reaction. Erica was caught off guard by his unexpected announcement, and her surprise showed.
"Our house is paid for until I return and it's available for you stay in if you want. If you decide not to stay there, all I ask is that you go there from time to time to check on it."
"Yes, of course."
"I want you to do something else for me. I took this assignment with the hope that it might help us decide how to best proceed with our lives. While I am gone I want you to think about us and when I return I want to know if you still wish to be my wife."
Erica could only nod her assent. She didn't know what else to say. Robert took another gulp of his beer, then the waiter returned and they placed their orders.
As Robert looked at her, he thought of how much he loved her. She looked so beautiful and professional, with her blond hair done up in a bun, with her black rimmed glasses on, a white sleeveless shirt which bared her lightly freckled shoulders. Her collarbone showed how femininely she was built, yet her small frame accommodated breasts that might be considered average on a woman of a different build. Yet, the form-fitting shirt she was wearing perfectly outlined them, and they looked quite larger on her small frame. Her long and lithe legs were smooth and flawless and she sat with them crossed at her knees, just under the hemline of a black short skirt. Her feet (oh, how he loved her small delicate feet!) were clad in black high heels and her toe nails were painted a light pink, her favorite color. Truly, she is a wife that needed to be loved and adored as a goddess.
He couldn't stand the thought of losing her, despite the fact that they were no longer intimate and that she had been unabashedly giving herself to another man for many months now.
Erica was disturbingly quiet as they ate, and so Robert had no way of knowing what she felt. Robert continued on in a business-like tone.
"While I'm gone, you don't have to worry about anything, the bills are also taken care of. All you need to worry about is your school, groceries, and gas for your car. If you need some money, I opened a separate account for that. I will put money into it twice a month. Here is the card, and if you run into any problems where you need more money, just let me know. Even though we will be apart, I hope you will contact me from time to time, just so I know you're ok."
"I will Robert, and thank you," she said quietly, still surprised by all of this to the point where her level of confidence had plummeted.
He reached out across the table and placed his hand on hers.
"Erica, I have missed you so much and I have never once stopped loving you. Please consider us while I'm gone."
"I will Robert, I promise. And I have never once stopped loving you." The glimmer of hope shone in Robert's face. "But, I do love Tre as well."
Robert's face fell just as quickly, and Erica regained her confidence. She withdrew her hand from his.
"Just as I have promised to consider us while you are gone, I need you to consider the love Tre and I have for each other. Can you do that?"
"But Erica, how can you love two men at the same time, and how can I love you when you also love another?"
"Robert, dear, a marriage is not about what you should expect out of your spouse. To believe that is selfish. Each partner should be strong and open-minded enough to know what the other's wants and needs are. And each partner should be secure enough in their love for the other to be prepared to provide that for them, whatever it may be. Stop looking at our marriage just through your eyes only. It is obvious we both still have feelings for each other. I never changed in that. It was you who changed when you began refusing to acknowledge and accept what I want and need. Only then did I reciprocate in kind. The love I have for you is different and exclusive to the love I have with Tre. I have always loved you as my husband and for the husband you have been for me, but there are just some things that Tre offers that I need. Just the same goes for you. My marriage and love for you offer me things that I need and which Tre can't provide."
Robert slowly shook his head. "But what about our marriage vows?"
"What about them, Robert? I vowed to be faithful, and I always have and always will be. I have never done anything behind your back and as long as my needs are met, I will never have any reason to. I have vowed to love you in sickness and in health, till death do us part, right? I have never considered myself doing otherwise, nor have I faltered in that. I have honored all of our vows, but nowhere does it say that I can't also love another man as well. I really don't see why a woman must resign herself to loving just one man, if she chooses to love another as well."
"So what about me? By that logic you should be willing to accept that I can love another woman outside of our marriage, just as you love another man."
"As a woman, have I not satisfied and met all your needs?"