Nancy and Her Black Lover
This is a story I penned several years ago but never had the courage to post on Lit. There was more truth to the story than I was willing to share. COVID gave us all the time to read, reflect, and edit our old stories. Thanks to encouragement, and with fingers crossed, I offer this to some of the best literary critics on the internet.
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Nancy is a dear friend, but we never met. An online acquaintance who became a sister. She told me of the baby she is carrying, her black lover's child. A one-night stand, a fulfilled fantasy, a night of passion with a stranger. I cried and shared in the joy of her decision to have her lover's baby. I longed for the baby I had miscarried, my own black lover's child. This is Nancy's story, and my own as well.
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Nancy met her fiancée at college. A tall handsome man who picked her out at a social mixer at his fraternity. He was a senior, she a sophomore. She was pretty but it was her innocence and shyness that attracted him. Her awkwardness in the rowdy social setting drew teasing from some and aggressive moves by others to force her into drunkenness. He drew her aside, claiming her from the pack of fraternity jackals, to escort her home, and perhaps to have her that night.
She was grateful to be away from noise and held his hand as they walked, her head clearing of the alcohol fumes in the crisp air. She told him about her life; a small-town girl, excited to be away from the watchful eyes of her protective parents, she was ready to explore the world. A light kiss on the cheek left him disappointed but he called her the next day for a date.
After only a few dates, he took her virginity in a night of frenzied passion that left her wanting more. Within a few weeks she was eagerly exploring her sexuality, to learn how to please him and be pleased by him. She was madly in love, she was complete-- a woman with a strong man, a passionate lover, a man that would give her children, and a home.
She was devastated when she caught him cheating, her carefully structured romance, marriage, and perfect future destroyed.
Months later, he pleaded with her to take him back, foolishly she did.
They became engaged, yet Nancy felt unfulfilled. In the months they were apart she had dated but never had sex with another man. She had desires and there had been temptations, but something always held her back. The boys she dated were just like her ex. They were nice and she enjoyed going out again. But there was an emptiness and guilt of inadequacy. How could he have cheated on her?! Had she not given everything to him? Had she failed so badly as his lover that he would seek another woman to satisfy his desires?
She had been afraid to commit to another relationship but when he begged her to forgive him, she gave in too easily. Her doubts remained and, in her mind, she knew she may regret not having explored the world a bit more before becoming a wife and mother.
She knew it was crazy but she just wanted to try something reckless, dangerous, with a romantic stranger. A fantasy? The story in a romance novel consumed on the beach? She knew she would never really go looking for it; but then again, if the opportunity came along, would she take it?
Her fantasy came true one night a few months later.
She was out with her girlfriends at a dance club. They teased her into asking the black DJ if she could dance with him in his booth. One thing led to another; she was still with him when the place closed. He wanted her to go an after-hours club. At first, she said no, but he intimidated her with talk of her being scared to be seen with a black man, or what would her white boyfriend think if she was with the brothers at the club?
Recklessly, she left with this stranger, but they didn't go to the club. He told her needed to go to his apartment to change. They drove in his car, smoking a joint along the way. Her head was spinning, and she was laughing too loudly as they stumbled through the door of his place. He started kissing her neck and lips, his hands wandering over places she knew she should stop. But she responded, feeling his heat and the passion built from the music, alcohol, and drugs.
Sensing her willingness, he started stripping her, aggressively kissing her now exposed naked breasts. She tried to stop him. This was going too far, well beyond the necking and flirting with a handsome black stranger she intended. In a fog of passion, she blamed herself for being so foolish to think she could control the situation.
He was strong and hungry for her body. He ignored her struggles and weak protests, carrying her to his bedroom, tearing off his clothes. She knew this was wrong, but was this really rape when her body wanted this so badly? Then she thought, "Why am I pretending I am victim? I want this. I need this. I am owed this."
She had been dreaming of a one-night stand. A revenge fuck for all that pain her soon-to-be husband had put her through. This stranger was certainly the powerful sexual animal she had fantasized about.
When she saw his thick, black manhood, she knew that this was exactly what she wanted, what she needed before spending her life as the faithful wife of an up-and-coming regional sales manager.
Her black stranger was a marvelous lover, bringing her almost instantly to a screaming orgasm with his tongue, as he explored her body with his large hands roaming over her pale breasts and stomach. He instructed her on how he liked to have his cock sucked. She became an eager pupil, her blonde hair falling across his ripped stomach muscles.
She was hot, eager to feel him inside her, but still cautious. What did she know of this man? His hands and body were pressing to penetrate her, and she was becoming desperate for his cock to fill her.
