It happened innocently enough, just another calm spring morning as I sat on my porch with the mornings coffee ready to take on the day. My cable had been on the fritz since the storms moved thru a few days prior and the appointment to repair it was scheduled for this morning. Like any other time, I was sure that the repairman would not arrive until much later in the morning so I wasn't concerned about enjoying my coffee in my pajamas and since I had taken off the morning, I figured I would just enjoy it.
So here I sat in my favorite jammies, a satin raspberry set, spaghetti strap silk top and silk and lace boy short bottoms. I was wearing a robe but again satin, white and only to my thigh, just enough to avoid nosey neighbors' eyes.
At 43 years old I have to do my best to stay in shape, a couple days in the gym, I try to run, or at least walk a couple of evenings during the week and ride my bike on the weekends so my 5'5 frame is still pretty much in shape for a 140 lb. woman.
I'm a brunette with blond highlights, long enough to reach just below my shoulders, I tan some but nothing more than a subtle tan, my 32c breasts thankfully don't sag and still one of my better features, firm tummy, for the most part, shapely firm legs and small feet that grace heels most days but this morning I was content to pad around barefoot until I decided to get dressed.
I married right out of school to my high school sweetheart. I have two wonderful kids who are now adults and out on their own. 5 years ago, my husband of 20 years decided his freedom was much more important and moved in with his 25-year-old secretary. Not the way I envisioned my life story, but sadly the thought of growing old with me was just too much for him. I am grateful that he let me keep the house that we raised our children in, which allowed me to start over with much less pressure than most single women.
I work in management for a large company so I'm not well off, but I make an honest living and after all it pays the bills. Living alone can get lonely at times but thankfully I have enough, between taking care of things around the house and working full time, to keep me occupied.
So, this morning I was able to relax and enjoy the quiet sunny morning without the distractions of work, the phone, or just life in general. It was very easy to get lost in my surroundings and obviously I did.
"Good morning ma'am, I'm Mike with the cable company, are you Ms. Bailey?"
Where did he come from, I asked myself? I didn't hear him pull up, didn't see his truck, did I doze off? I knew that I hadn't but had to ask myself anyway. Let me remind you I was sitting outside in a robe that barely hid what I was wearing underneath, so now I was embarrassed at in my opinion my state of undress. He barely seemed to notice, and I'm sure he's seen much worse given his job is to go to any number of homes and see who knows what.
I apologized, asked him to call me Alyssa and invited him in so that he could begin his work. I calmly excused myself so that I could put on something much more appropriate, racing to my room to a t-shirt and wind pants that I just threw over my bed clothes, and returning to apologize for my appearance. Mike was sweet about it, letting me know that it was all going to be ok. That he was going to fix my cable and let me get back to my morning.
"Please don't apologize, it's your house, you were enjoying your morning and I'm sorry if I spooked you."
It was at this point that I finally noticed Mike. 6'1, a very nice physique, short hair, very nicely trimmed goatee and the smoothest light brown skin. I had not ever considered attraction to a black guy, but Mike was gorgeous, and I couldn't stop looking at him. He had the softest, most alluring eyes I had ever seen. I had to stop and remind myself that he was here to work and that probably being much younger than me that I shouldn't even be contemplating what I was.
I'm normally very reserved so I can't explain why I wanted Mike so badly, but I was struck in a way that I had never been before, and I wanted this man and I wanted him now!! Slow down Alyssa I told myself, breathe. You don't act like this; you don't think like this. So, I turned and walked to the kitchen and let Mike work. What I was really doing was letting my mind work, thinking things that would only get me in trouble and I sure wanted to get in trouble.
I had been with 3 men, my ex-husband, a silly one night stand that I regret, and a friend that I dated for about a year but after all I am human and I too want and like certain things, I just didn't know that Mike was what I wanted until this Adonis of a man walked into my front yard. I continued to day dream and I have no idea how long it took to fix the cable problem but eventually Mike would bring me back to my senses letting me know that the cable was fixed, and the problem had been minor and probably not storm related.
He gave me his card and told me that if I needed anything else or had any questions to just give him a call. Somehow, I was attentive enough to check for a wedding ring and to my surprise this gorgeous man didn't have one. I began hoping that he would make some sort of move but to my disappointment he remained professional. Mike shook my hand, I wanted him to kiss me and sure would've let him, but sadly he returned to his workday.
I closed my front door, wished that I had said anything to show my interest or at least offered him my number. My opportunity was gone, and I was frustrated with myself for always being so reserved.
With that it was time to get ready for work, back to my bedroom, taking off the t-shirt and wind pants I had so hastily thrown on. Seeing my reflection in my sexy raspberry jammies had my mind wandering again to how it might have felt to have Mike's big strong hands taking these off me and using my body for his own pleasure. Why did I want this man so badly? I didn't know him, knew that the thoughts were juvenile, but I couldn't stop.
I barely remember getting dressed or leaving for work, but I know I made it, and at the end of the day when I pulled into my driveway, I just happened to see a cable company door hanger on my front door. I pulled the car into the garage and walked to the door. The hanger was from Mike letting me know that he may have left something in my house.
I went to where he thought he might have left it and to my disappointment it wasn't there. To my disappointment? What is wrong with me? Why has this man consumed my thoughts like this? Why can't I get him out of my head? The answer was simple enough, I wanted him in my bed, I wanted him inside me, and I wanted him now.
Here I am, 43 years old, divorced mom of two, not by definition promiscuous and unable to stop thinking about a man I don't know making love to me. I needed to get him out of my mind and the gym just might do it!! So, I started the laundry, changed into my workout clothes, shorts and a tank top, filled my water bottle and set out for the gym...still thinking about Mike.
The workout did exactly what it was intended to do. 90 minutes of intense exercise seemed to clear my head and chase away desires I thought I didn't need. Hopefully I could now stay calm enough to not think about things I knew I shouldn't. The drive home was uneventful. I parked in the garage, switched the laundry, and headed for the shower. After a long shower I folded and put up the laundry, found my freshly laundered raspberry jammies, and made myself a salad.
It then occurred to me that here I was, alone on a Friday night, already in my bed clothes, and then the thoughts of Mike and the day were back in head. It was only 830 so I thought about calling the number Mike had left but I knew that I was too embarrassed to do so. Instead I turned on the tv, set it on one of the music channels and began the process of trying to chase him from my mind yet again. Working on my laptop then trying to focus on reading a book but nothing would chase away thoughts of Mike.
As if written for the movies, there was a knock at my door. I walked to the door, looked thru the peep hole and there he stood, probably in search of his missing tool. I asked him to give me a moment, found what I call my grandma robe, something much more appropriate for the occasion and opened the door.
"Ms. Bailey, I think I left one of my tools here".
"Yes, I got your note and looked around, I didn't find it but your welcome to come in and retrace your steps if you'd like."
Mike came in and began looking for his missing tool and after a few minutes returned with what he had left behind. I don't know why but my heart sank. I was hoping he had come back to see me and that the tool had been an excuse, wishful thinking on my part.
"I'm sorry I had to bother you at this hour but losing this could get me in some serious trouble."
"It's ok Mike, I completely understand and wouldn't want that to happen. I'm just glad you found it and hope you didn't have to look too hard for it. I also want to apologize for my appearance this morning. I don't normally sit around outside dressed like that, but I honestly didn't expect you until much later in the morning and just felt like being lazy. I promise if you ever have to come back to my house I'll be dressed much more appropriately."