All characters are at and above the age of 18 in this work.
*****
I couldn't tell you how excited I was when got the chance to interview for my first teaching position. I literally jumped for joy in a coffee shop when the e-mail came through. I had spent my days in the city, trying to look busy and keep busy, but the boredom (and the debt!) was sitting in. So you can better believe that I made every effort to follow up on this interview.
I hadn't been out of practice. I was getting sick of being a barista, at another coffee house, and then spending the rest of my evening at another. You could say that I was working on my people skills all day. I believed myself to be an educator already, just in all things caffeinated. I was already jazzed up on an espresso so it was delightful to get the instant gratification of an immediate e-mail reply.
"Great. Would you be able to come by tomorrow morning? First bell is bright and early, 8 AM. We'll see you then." Assistant Principal Raymond had replied.
I jotted it into my calendar app and synced it across all my devices. Then I jumped to the next tab, to my favorite part of the interview process, figuring out what I was going to wear!
***
The next morning, it didn't make a difference. I was actually really shocked to be in a sea of rushing students around me. My nude heels did help in towering above the crowded hallway, but I realized that if I wasn't moving, I was quickly relegated to the lockers. Luckily, the first bell rang and the corridors emptied quickly as everyone had made it to their respective classrooms. I could finally hear the click of shoes in the few steps I had left to the front office.
"Hi... Rebecca Bertram." The secretary took a moment to acknowledge my presence, and when she did, she didn't say anything. "I'm here to see Principal Raymond?" She looked me up and down, then looked to the office to her right. I had missed the eye contact they made, but a tall African American man stood from his chair and made his way out.
"Hey you must Miss Bertram." He held his hand out. "Jeff Raymond." Mr. Raymond gestured to his office and I followed. "Please, have a seat." I pulled down at my skirt as I sat, quickly feeling a little overdressed for the occasion. "Welcome to P.S. 304 of District 10." He held his arms out to his side in showcase. "Well, what do you think?"
I only glanced over the room and noticed the few trinkets. There were small trophies that I assumed belonged to Mr. Raymond. The leather chairs were comfortable and might seen a lot of uncomfortable students in their years. But it was the beige-painted concrete walls that solidified the stature of this place. "It's really nice!" I smiled through my teeth. I really needed this job.
"I'm glad you think so!" He finally cracked a smile. "Usually when we get this posting out, we don't get many takers since..." There was a tinge of shame in his voice but he recovered. "Well, since it's not the most glamorous place to educate. But I assure you what we may lack in resources, we more than make up for in achievement and heart."
"Oh yeah. I totally can see that." I nodded adding interest. "I know you all have always been renowned for your athletic programs."
"Yes, that's right." He relaxed. "In conjunction with my duties as Assistant Principal, I also serve as the athletic director. You could say I'm a little proud." He smiled again.
"As you should be." I grinned and looked around. "There's definitely a lot of character here."
"You would be correct on that. Not just in terms of the building itself, but the student population it serves. Tell me, do you have any experience working with an inner-city population?"
"Yes, I actually did some research on efficacy of special education programs in graduate school." I tried to sound informed but the research was only a paper I had to do for a final. "I understand it can be difficult to bridge some gaps, but I found it to be really worthwhile."
"Very good. I'm glad you're optimistic. This is a very trying population. Nearly 90% of our students come from a low socioeconomic background and 85% are black. Last year, we had hit an all-time low of graduation rates for our seniors and now the city is looking to cut our funding." Mr. Raymond drew a sharp breath. "So we need that optimism." He exhaled.
"I'm absolutely up to the challenge."
"Great. I shared your resume with the other principals and they were all pleased with your qualifications." He looked at the paper copy of it and then studied me. "They left it up to me to decide on the candidate. So you tell me, what makes you good for the job?" In his silence he shifted between my eyes and my chest, waiting for a response.
And it was my cue to sell. "I think it really goes back to my optimism." I gestured with my hands. "I try my best when it comes to a task that seems impossible." I leaned forward. "When it gets tough, I dig in," I pretended to shovel, "and I put in the work. I think you tell by my experiences that I am persistent in all endeavors."
When he finally took his eyes from my cleavage, Mr. Raymond put the resume on his desk and only nodded for a moment. "Well... I'm sold." He shuffled around the papers on his desk and produced a single sheet and handed it to me. "These are the terms of the position. You'll find the compensation there below." He pointed to it. "Please know that there's not much we can do as far as changing that figure. The city mandated some new policy on grant-related positions."
"New policy?" I had never of this before. I did know however that working for a school like this for a year or two would forgive a lot of my student loan debt. "I'm not familiar?"
"Since our graduation rates have dropped, the city is requiring proof of achievement to demonstrate continued funding to the programs. This position is contingent on that achievement. It's written there on the bottom that continued employment is based on performance."
This made me move around in my seat and suddenly I felt like that uncomfortable student. "Does that mean if the performance isn't met, then the position is forfeited along with the funding?" Mr. Raymond only nodded his head. "Oh... I see."
"If you want to think the offer over-" He started.
"I'll take it!" I blurted out and stood up with my hand out. I didn't know what I was getting into but I only thought about the debt forgiveness. When he shook my hand and showed me the door, I felt like a new woman. A gainfully employed woman.
"I certainly admire your spirit." He touched the small of my back to lead me out. "We could use some more folks like you here."
"Thank you Mr. Raymond. I really appreciate the opportunity." I smiled as the click of my heels stopped and he reached to shake my hand again.
"Please, call me Jeff. Thanks for coming in. We look forward to working with you."
***
The next week flew by really fast. I had almost forgot to let my boss at the coffee shop know that I was going to be leaving at the end of the week. Between the training and administrative hoops I had to jump through to get started, I was almost exhaust with the idea of starting my first day of teaching on a Friday. But the day came and I almost ran late trying to figure out what to wear. I remembered the looks I got the week before for the interview and decided to tone it down to something less distracting.
While it did help to be provocative when trying to impress the interviewer, I knew that it would be a huge distraction to dress the same in the classroom. A conservative summer dress would do the trick. I had found it on sale and it had all those little floral prints. I loved the way my shoulders looked with the thin straps and how it cinched around my waist in the back. And I suppose it goes without saying that I stuck to the dress code since the skirt fell right below the knee.
When I walked through the halls to my classroom, I could definitely see some of the side-ways looks I was getting. "What the-" One of the girls I passed said under her breath. I felt like, for a split moment, like I was a foreign exchange student. Only I was white and a little bit older. I mean, it wasn't even like six years since I had been out of high school myself. I moved swiftly this time with my wedge heels, silent and stealthy.
Unfortunately, I was so quiet that when I got into my classroom, no-one noticed me come in over the noise they were making. Students were up on chairs, laughing and calling out to each other. I think I even saw a pair in the back of the classroom hugging each other, if not more. When I cleared my voice, the clamor subsided and they finally quieted down.
"Hello class," I started surveying the faces and turned to the board with a dry-erase marker. "My name is..." I began to spell it out, "...Ms. Bertram." I was mostly met with blank stares, except for the girl in the front with corn-rows, who kept chewing on her gum. "I'm going to be teaching math this year, Algebra specifically."
"Yea we gon' need all the bras up in here." Someone called out from a row and the class erupted with laughter. I looked down at my chest without thinking, in shame, and felt worse. I ignored it to move on.
"A little later, we're going to take a short quiz..." They all groaned. "Don't worry, it won't be graded. I just want to see where you all are at, what you're working with. But first, let's go around the room. I'd love to know more about you all." Everyone shifted around in their seats and for once didn't make eye-contact with me. I looked to the girl with the gum and even she had her hand up, hiding her face. "Come on, let's start here." I pointed to my right in the first row while I leaned back on my desk.
They each went through sharing little details about themselves. A lot of them liked music. Some of them shared hobbies they liked to do like dancing and playing sports. Not one of them admitted to liking Math but one actively shared how he did not like the subject. We made it nearly half way through the room until the classroom door open.
Four jersey-clad, loud, young men filed in laughing among themselves strolled towards the back of the room. The last one, short and chubby, smiled and acknowledged me. "Ah man," He tapped at the guy in front of him and pointed to me, "Aye you didn't say hi to Miss Teacher here." They all took their seats and individually nodded to me.
"Well... it's nice of you all to join us." I said, unnerved. "We were just getting around to the row back there. Why don't you introduce yourselves?" I pointed to the student that had spoke up first.
"Aw well," He held his hand to his chest, "I'm Jamel." He looked to his right to the next student.
"I'm Rich." He said so softly that I hadn't heard him. He slunk back into his seat despite being the tallest of the four.
