Mellow Yellow

Chapter 10: Susan’s Ethical Problem

I put our baby to bed and sat down at my computer. Melinda was working a shift as an evening nurse so this would be the ideal time to download the day’s e-mail. In the middle of the evening’s spam was an e-mail from Susan Wu, who had been so kind to let us stay with her when we were in Hong Kong. Susan always had interesting things to say and I loved her description of life in Hong Kong. This one had a particularly mysterious title so I opened it up.

To: “Tran Mei-Ling”

From: “Wu Sui”

Subject: My recent unethical behaviour

Date sent: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Mei-Ling, my good friend:

Something has happened that I thought I would never do. It has caused me untold happiness but it could also jeopardize my career as a doctor and mental health worker. I must talk this over with you because you were such an understanding person when you stayed with me. I knew from the moment I met you that you were someone I could confide in. When you talked about how much in love you were with your Canadian husband, I knew I could tell you of my affair with Léo when I was a student. I have never talked about this foreign affair with my family or my friends here in Hong Kong. I thank you for respecting my confidence and not mentioning it to my brother. What I am now about to tell you, you must keep a secret from my brother and even from your wonderful husband.

My affair with Léo could only tarnish my reputation as a woman. What I have done this week could see my career thrown in the ashcan. Mei-Ling, you know how important my work is to me and how few mental health workers we have in Hong Kong. I need your advice as a true friend and confidante. Please do not fail me and answer as soon as possible.

What has happened you ask? A couple of weeks ago, a urologist colleague, Dr. Leung, referred an English patient to me, Mr. Charles Burnhamthorpe (why do Europeans have such long names, please tell me Mei-Ling?). Dr. Leung’s file said the patient complained that he could not get an erection when attempting intercourse although he had no troubles at “other times”. Dr. Leung had examined Mr. Burnhamthorpe‘s private parts and had found them in perfectly good working order. His assessment was that the problem was psychological and not physical Dr. Leung was referring Mr. Burnhamthorpe to me because my English was better than the male psychiatrists he knew. I examined Dr. Leung’s notes and agreed to take Mr. Burnhamthorpe as a patient. My receptionist, Miss Yang, set an appointment and placed Mr. Charles Burnhamthorpe’s file in the filing cabinet along with those of my other patients.

I was astounded when Miss Yang let Charles in to my office the first time. Excuse me, I am never on a first name basis with my patients but that is impossible now to be otherwise with Charles, as you will see as I relate what has happened to me. I am getting ahead of myself. Why was I surprised at Charles’ appearance? From Dr. Leung’s assessment, I had expected Charles to be some ugly twerp without self-confidence. In fact, Charles was the perfectly proper, confident British civil servant. Moreover, he was exactly the type of white guy that appeals to me. He had sandy brown hair, blue eyes, a nicely trimmed moustache and movie star good looks. He was a little shorter than the average European, which would go well with my short Chinese stature (I was already assessing Charles’ potential, as you can see).

I recovered from my astonishment. “Please sit down, Mr. Burnhamthorpe. Dr. Leung has told me a little about your sexual dysfunction but perhaps you could tell me in your own words what the problem is?”

“Well, Dr. Wu, I seem to have enough lead in the old pencil, at least that’s what Dr. Leung assures me. However, when I make love to a woman, my willie does a flop at the most awkward moment. Quite frankly, I’m a 30 year old virgin and I’ve grown very tired of this state.”

“Well, Mr. Burnhamthorpe, we will look at the specifics of your problem later but first I want to hear something about your background. You should make it both personal and about your general health. Just tell me whatever comes into your mind.”

I started to take down notes about Charles’ past. I was surprised how open he was with me. Chinese men are so unwilling to open up to a woman about their past, their problems and especially their private parts. Charles was quite willing to tell me anything he wanted to know and he was not reluctant to disclose his feelings or his hopes. Really, he was a cultured individual, widely traveled and loved music. I couldn’t find any abuse in his past which might cause sexual dysfunction of the sort he described. There was also nothing in Charles’ health history as he related it which might have contributed to his problem. Charles had such a charming way of telling his life story that I was disappointed when my receptionist told me my next patient had arrived.

“Mr. Burnhamthorpe, I am baffled as to what the problem might be but I am willing to take you as my patient. Please make another appointment with Miss Yang on the way out.”

For the whole week I thought about Charles and his “problem”, turning over in my mind all kinds of possibilities. I think it was while I was speculating about Charles that I became curious about his willie and what he would be like in bed. I don’t think it was lust at first but curiosity as to why Charles couldn’t have a fulfilling sexual relationship with a woman. It was merely an idle speculation and not an intention to take Charles as a lover. After all, he might have a girlfriend despite his problem and I couldn’t steal another woman’s property.

When Charles came for his next appointment, I put some of the possibile sources of his problem to rest.

“Mr. Burnhamthorpe, you aren’t one of those English poofters that I’ve read about, are you? Have you ever had any sexual experiences with men, even once?”

“Good Heavens, Dr. Wu! What do you think I am? No, I have never even had a desire for a man. Plus, I went through the public school system so I never went to a private boarding school where that sort of thing is common with the lords and nobility of our realm. It’s all that bum-whacking that scrambles the minds of the toffs. In my school, the principal never gave out canings. No, I obtained my position in the Crown Colony government on the basis of my abilities, not the old school tie.”

“Please don’t be insulted, Mr. Burnhamthorpe, but I must check all possibilities. Have you ever used illegal drugs or abused alcohol.?”

I sensed that Charles was getting irritated by my standard doctor questions so I changed tactics and decided to indulge my curiosity: “There doesn’t seem to be anything in your past which could result in your sexual dysfunction. Can you describe what happens when you try to make love?”

“Well, there isn’t too much to tell. I can get an erection when I am alone, you know, looking at a dirty picture, that sort of thing. When I try to make love to a real live woman, I become distracted when she tells me to hurry up or not to tickle her or to treat her roughly because she just loves rough sex”

“I gather, Mr. Burnhamthorpe, that you like to take your time and prefer to treat a woman gently when making love.” (See, Mei-Ling, I was already comparing Charles to Léo)

“Exactly, Dr. Wu. I like to take my time and treat a woman properly.”

“What do you feel when a woman starts giving you orders or that she doesn’t like your style?”

“Frankly, it’s dashed distracting. Furthermore, I get these feelings of anxiety because of what I want to do and what the woman is demanding from me. My mind wanders from the job at hand and I lose my erection. When that happens, the woman becomes either uncontrollably angry or makes fun of my willie. Either way, she usually never gives me a second chance. You wouldn’t believe the cruel, sarcastic remarks they make when they leave. It’s all very distressing.”

“Have any of these women ever been Chinese?”

“No, all my women have been European.”

I was silent for a minute. You know that’s not like me but I was stunned at how brutal and uncaring these women had been to this lovely, sensitive man. What bitches these white women must be? No wonder white men desire we yellow women so much, Mei-Ling. We can provide in bed what these white women seem to be unable to provide their men, which is love along with the sex. I started to reminisce about my Léo and our love when Charles broke the silence:

“Dr. Wu. I said that all my women were white. Why is that important?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Burnhamthorpe, I have one final question. Do you currently have a girlfriend?”

“No, I don’t Dr. Wu. I have entirely given up on women until I get this problem sorted out. My last girlfriend was in England over a year ago.”

Well, Mr. Mr. Burnhamthorpe, I have weighed all the possibilities respecting your problem and I have come to a conclusion. Your problem is entirely psychological, something which Dr. Leung already suspected. If you had a girlfriend, I would take another approach to overcome your fears of sex. Under these circumstances, I would suggest that you undertake sex therapy to overcome the bad experiences you have had with women. I have been studying the subject from the papers written by qualified academics. They say the rate of success is high in cases such as yours. I would further suggest that the sex therapist be Chinese so that you are not reminded of your bad experiences with women of your own race. That is why it is important what race your women have been.”

“Unfortunately, sex therapy is relatively unknown in Hong Kong. I wish that I could call one up right now and make an appointment for you. (OK, I lied to Charles) Since we really don’t have anyone in Hong Kong who can help, I will undertake your therapy myself. We must start as soon as possible for your overall mental well-being. (and my own, I said to myself) Please come to my apartment Friday night and we will begin. Tell Miss Yang on the way out that no further appointments will be necessary. That will be all for today, Mr. Burnhamthorpe.”

After Charles left, I sat down shaking. What had I done? I wasn’t qualified as a sex therapist, no matter how well read I was on the techniques. On the one hand, I was curious about Charles and I wanted to seduce him. I think that after only two meetings, I was falling in love with this kind, sensitive man. I definitely pitied him being continually hurt at the hands of these evil white women. Don’t mistake this as feeling sorry for Charles. My pity was based on a growing love for this man.

On the other hand, it was unethical for a doctor to get involved with a patient. It was so unethical that I already imagined the scene with the Hong Kong Mental Health Board. They would say I knowingly took advantage of a distressed patient and used him for my self-gratification. Not only that, the patient that I had become involved with was British, not Chinese. They would call me a disgrace to the profession and I would never get another job as a doctor, anywhere, period.

My thoughts were interrupted as Ms. Yang opened the door and said in Cantonese: “Old man Mah is here for his appointment. Do you know that he complains about his memory but that dirty old man never forgets to put his hands on my bum. Shall I show him in?”

I quickly pulled myself together and said yes in my most professional manner. I can do that, you know. Getting back to my work made me less anxious about my ethics problem.

Actually, I started to get more and more excited about Charles coming to my apartment as I reflected on how long I had been without a man in my life. I told you about Léo but that was a few years ago. I didn’t tell you about the lovers I had since then. Quite frankly, Mei-Ling, I think all the good men in Hong Kong were taken while I was studying overseas. Either a man 30 years old is gay or there is a good reason why no sane woman wants him. If by chance he is straight and desirable, he is so immersed in his career that he doesn’t have time to relate to a woman. I did have some patients who were single men in my practice but I never gave them any consideration. They were usually so messed up in their head that it would be ludicrous to ever consider having a real relationship. I think that’s why you never hear about a psychiatrist having an affair with a patient.

Yes, I had some one-nighters with Chinese men, all of them colleagues I met through work. I had not had a serious relationship with a man since Léo. Also, the sex was never as good when it was casual sex as it was when I was in love with Léo. I never wondered why until now, Did I just lack love or did I have a hangup with white guys, the way you say that Paul is hung up on yellow women?

Charles was not messed up, except for his inability to consummate with a woman. Charles was quite altogether in every respect except for that. No, I didn’t have the same inhibitions about consorting with patients as I would have with the variety of neurotics that usually sat across from my desk. Charles was so different from any male patient I had encountered that I came to regard him as an opportunity to overcome my inability to meet a real man. As I saw the opportunity to find fulfillment for myself in this situation, I started to feel less anxious about my predicament. If I could handle that “other problem” with the ethics of having sex with a patient, I might be able to have the relationship with a man that I had been missing.

I prepared for my “therapy” for Charles very carefully. I would serve only snacks. I know that you loved my cooking and I admit that I would have made a great cook if I hadn’t studied psychiatry. However, simple rice rolls, sushi and fruit would free me from the kitchen and let me concentrate on my “therapy”. Simple would be best for this evening. I also changed some of the lights in my apartment so the light would be seductively low. When I arranged my apartment the way I wanted it, I sat down and felt the harmonious but seductive atmosphere. Yes, Charles’ willie would be aided in its work by the Feng Shui I had created.

With the food and apartment preparations out of the way, I started to get myself prepared. I took a shower, dried my body that was becoming more and more eager for Charles and dried my hair. Then I carefully perfumed my body in all the right places but not too much so I didn’t reek. I used an expensive French perfume that I bought for this occasion, just in case Charles had an allergy. I had to be sure that nothing got in the way of my therapy.

Next, I put on some sexy lingerie that I bought for the occasion. I spent all day getting the right undies for the occasion. As I put on the black panties and brassiere and looked at myself, I thought that I could even give senile Old Mah an erection. I think we Chinese do our men a disservice because our underwear is too sensible to be keep them interested. Buy some sexy undies and try it out on Paul, especially since you’re married. It keeps the marriage from being boring. You don’t know how many women patients complain to me their husbands don’t show interest in them and are running around after younger women or taking second wives. These women don’t do anything to keep their husband interested in them. They dress and act like absolute frumps and then they wonder why their man is chasing a younger woman at the office.

Finally, I put on my crowning piece of clothing, my mother’s silk cheongsam. I never wore it because it’s so out of style but white guys think a cheongsam is so sexy with the slit up the side. I think they find it exciting when a woman is walking and her leg flashes out through the slit just for an instant. If I say so, I have much nicer legs than most Chinese women, who tend to be a little bow-legged. You have nice legs too, Mei-Ling, and you shouldn’t wear jeans so often. You should wear something that shows more of those lovely legs of yours, like a mini-dress. Maybe you should get a cheongsam as well and really look sexy for your white husband. You are half Chinese, after all.

I pondered footwear for a few minutes. I think that high heels would be best because it wouldn't make me look so short and it would go better with the cheongsam. Then it occurred to me that prostitutes wear high heels and Charles may have a bad experience in the red light district. How to solve the problem? Suddenly, I found some old-fashioned clogs that I had bought at a tourist shop and had never worn. Those would make me taller and not remind Charles of any white woman he might have ever encountered.

Since you visited, I have neglected is my hair. I still wear it long and straight and it was too late to go to a stylist. What to do? I was suddenly inspired and made peasant girl buns on either side. Yes, my dear Mei-Ling, I know that peasant buns and the cheongsam do not go together but I was not completely crazy. For some reason, white guys think peasant buns look so sexy with the Chinese face. I think it highlights the racial differences between Europeans and Chinese and creates curiosity about other physical differences. That style would be exactly what I would need to seduce Charles. Try that hairstyle sometime, Mei-Ling and ask Paul what he thinks about it.

I have to thank you for the makeover you gave me when you visited. After you went home, I went out and bought the same brands and colours you use. How was I to know that our faces need different colours than European women? I owe you for that because, when I stood up and looked in the mirror at myself, I was a stunner. I think I could have gotten a part in a movie the way I looked. I no longer was the frustrated, nerdy Dr. Wu. I had become Wu Sui the seductress, irresistible to any white male, the greatest Chinese woman who ever lived.

I hurried to make my final preparations. I put on the kettle so that I could have tea ready as soon as Charles came to me. I discretely hid a condom under some candies in the cloisonné candy dish on the coffee table. Finally, I took off my glasses and left them in the bedroom. I look better without my glasses, as Paul so graciously pointed out. I’m not too nearsighted and, if everything went according to my plan, I wouldn’t need them for the important close-up work tonight.

As I put my glasses away, I heard Charles at the door. As I shuffled on my cloggies, I hoped that Charles wouldn’t notice that I wasn’t really accustomed to this style of shoe. I also hoped he wouldn’t notice my nervousness as I opened the door.

Charles’ deep blue eyes opened wide. “Dr. Wu? Is that you? I’ve never seen you like this.”

“It’s all part of the therapy. Now, if the therapy is to be successful, we will be Susan and Charles tonight, not Dr. Wu and Mr. Burnhamthorpe.”

I led Charles into my seductive lair. He sat down on the futon and I brought tea and I performed the Japanese tea ceremony kneeling at the coffee table. Yes, Mei-Ling, I know Chinese women don’t make a big ceremony out of tea. The reason I did this was that my plan was for Charles to get the full oriental woman experience this evening. Charles would not merely get laid this evening. No, Charles would be transported with me on an erotic journey through the mysteries of the orient and experience the most satisfying sex in the world, sex that only we oriental women can give. I would be Charles’ ultimate yellow woman and get his willie up and working in the process.

After I had brought the snacks, I cleared away the tea and dishes and sat down beside Charles. “If you are ready to begin, please put your arms around me Charles.”

I took Charles’ hand in mine. I never noticed how large his hand was compared t mine. He yielded to my guiding and I said: “Now Charles, I want you to demonstrate how you have been making love to these other women. I will show you that a Chinese woman will respond to gentleness from a man.”