My family calls it the Mom-Mobile because all I ever seemed to do was drive from one kid event to another. With two active boys, and lots of team sports and practices, I used to live in my van. But now that the boys are starting high school, they don't want to be seen having Mom drive them everywhere. Still, my van is a great car, especially if you want to have a nice quite drive in the country with your lover.
My marriage was having problems. We were both having affairs; however, I knew all about his, but he never knew of mine. I think it would have killed him if he had found out I had been seduced by a younger man. I hate to think what he would have done had he known my lover was black.
We agreed to take counseling and I committed to myself to try and make our marriage work. He swore was going to change jobs so that he would not be traveling all the time and, most importantly, we were talking about having another baby. I was very happy, and excited about trying to get back in touch with the man I loved and had married. I had gone off the pill and our sex life had exploded. We were acting like newlyweds again, hoping each time we made love that we would he would impregnate me.
But before we could start completely over, I knew I had to call my lover, to tell him that I could not see him again. He wanted us to meet at his apartment, but I had made up my mind he was not going to seduce me again with his touch and kisses. I insisted we go for a drive in the country, away from everyone and, most importantly, away from the temptation of an afternoon in his apartment.
We parked at a hidden picnic area near a small stream and walked along the stream banks holding hands. I told him that I loved him but I was not going to see him again. I told him how important it was for me stay with my husband for my children and that we decided we wanted another baby.
A few months earlier, it would have been his child I would have born but he had run the commitment. I knew he had not ready to settle down but I was sick of living a lie. We had fights and made up but finally drifted apart. But in my loneliness I had reconnected with my husband and he with me.
We stopped by the stream and he held me close. He told me he didn't want to lose me and tried to kiss me. But I knew it had to be this way, pushing away I angrily walked back to the van. There was a slight drizzle and my clothes were wet by the time we got back. Sitting together in the back seat, we watched the rain pass by. Finally, we talked, talked about staying friends, about the fun things we had done. All the while, his hands were busy, finding the places I loved to be stroked and touched.
I told him that I was not going to have sex with him. Of course I was enjoying what he was doing, but I kept insisting he was wasting his time. He laughed and asked if I remembered the time we had made loved out in the open, on a blanket at sunset and then under the stars? How could forget, it was the second time we had made love and his sexual prowess had held me captive ever since.