Lynn And Leif Forevermore Ch 54

***

Lynne opened the door to the living room while the bridal party and his mother and father were still excitedly chattering about the wedding, and the wonderful new surprise they'd been given, in a car.

She felt overwhelmed with happiness. With all that they'd done for the wedding, his parents had still given them the most amazing wedding present that they'd be talking about for years. Martin had given her a car after she graduated high school. It was under much different circumstances. It was a brand new staid beige four-door gas guzzling Buick. And that car had come with such a high cost, shuttling the older biddies in church, and their two mothers in their door-to-door evangelizing. She was actually glad to drive that car to his home, leave the keys under the seat, and take the subway home a few days before breaking up with him formally!

Receiving this car, the circumstances felt totally different. It was a gift given to the two of them with no strings attached whatsoever. Given because his mother and father loved the two of them, Leif and even Lynne, and considered her a daughter. Rather than having them struggle through trying to save for a house, a car, and start a baby fund, all at the same time, they decided to take some of the burden off for them, and get them the car that they'd wanted. Even nicer, this car was brand-new!

Lynne had looked at the odometer. It had twelve miles on it! Even with all their saving, and hustling in the subway, unless they signed to a major label, neither of them could afford a new car, only a used car. If that car was well taken care of, they very well could be driving it clear on up until their future kids were of age to drive.

In that way, they would be able to save a lot of money. Lynne always liked well-made classic things that lasted a long time, which provided a savings in the long term, as things did not need to be replaced so often. She applied this to furniture, clothes, and would certainly apply it to the car. Leif loved Lynne's frugality and her smartness when it came to positioning themselves for long-term success. He told her he never meant such a smart, goal oriented woman who was also beautiful. It was one of the reasons why he loved her. She may not have it altogether emotionally, but she had her financial and life plans in order!

However, when she saw Leif sprawled out on the couch, taking up all the space with his knees and thighs spread apart wide, like he did when he wanted to assert dominance and discomfort with a situation, she knew something was the matter. Then there was his kiss in the car, which seemed as though he was distracted, and he looked positively annoyed now that she searched his face as he sat on the couch.

She just couldn't understand what happened between his parents making that announcement about their gift and showing them that car. She'd never seen somebody act so sour when they'd been just given a new automobile. His parents had spent a ton of money on that gift and they deserved to see it received with joy. Leif's parents were such a pleasure and a direct contrast to her own parents, she couldn't help but feel guilty that her side of the family was not doing anything to pitch in.

Leif's parents were a dream, and while she didn't want to stir up conflict between her man and his parents, and her first loyalty was to her new husband, what appeared to be downright ungratefulness and flagrant disrespect did not sit well with her. Frankly his sudden sour mood was dampening the happiness she felt they should be experiencing on their wedding day.

However, Lynne also knew that she knew how to charm Leif and put him in a better mood. She prided herself on being his special girl, and bringing sunshine to his life. So, she would appeal to his emotions and affections, and then kindly explore why he was being so sour about the wedding gift from his parents.

He was sitting on the couch, so she came over to him slowly, approaching him gently.

"Can I sit in your lap," she murmured softly.

Leif patted his thigh gruffly.

"Of course you can. Always welcome on your man's knee, for innocent or naughty reasons! Really excited about that car huh? You are so damn excited. I was going to get us a car. Mom and dad didn't give me a chance to," said Leif softly playing with his fingertips.

"Well I know you were, but now we don't have to. Now we can use that money to save for a down payment on a house. Maybe we can even start our family a tiny bit sooner. Well, maybe we don't want to do that, so we can leave plenty of time for more glorious fooling around, making love, and fucking, without our little rug-rats getting in the way first," she murmured throatily, kissing him around his earlobe.

"So, you're not even the least bit disappointed that we don't have to put in our own sweat, determination, and hard work to see to it that we secure decent transportation so you could make it to your voice lessons? I should have known you wouldn't understand Lynney, you have those sweet, childlike ways darling, you probably appreciate the feelings of parental figures caring for you," he murmured kissing her forehead, and patting her ass.

Now, he was talking down to her a little and patronizing her. The same way she found it addictive to be babied by him emotionally, she didn't like him treating her like a child when they were having a real conflict.

"Don't talk down to me right now Leify, so I do like being babied, but that doesn't mean I'm not grown up enough to see what's going on and appreciate such a fine gift! I mean, Leify, I don't really see why getting this gift is making us any less of a hardworking couple. We still have our gigs almost every night but Saturday, we are still saving our money, and busting our asses to try to get further in life. Your parents wanted to do something nice for us. They don't want to see us struggle like they struggled when they got pregnant in college by accident and no one would give them any help whatsoever, and then ended up moving in the trailer court, even though neither one of them was ever poor before. It was a big adjustment for them. Your mother tells me that story all the time, every time she does something sweet for us to help us out. I appreciate your parents, and you should start appreciating them more. Guidance that doesn't feel stifling! Love that is helpful but unconditional! Do you know how lucky you are?" asked Lynne.

When she thought about the pain and deprivation of her own home life prior to Leif, it struck her as very selfish that he couldn't see the blessing that his parents were providing them, even if he did want to show his many pride by being the one to get them a car.

"You're right lovely. I...I had no right to talk down to you like that and I apologize. You just don't understand though. I'm sure...I know I'm damn lucky compared to you. And I feel badly complaining. But you really don't understand Lynney," said Leif, sighing into her hair.

"Then make me understand baby. Tell me everything, say what's on your heart. You made me your wife today, and I want to share everything with you, be your support, just like you were there for me when I needed you. Help me understand what is so bad about a brand new Prius," said Lynne.

"Well baby, this isn't the first time Linda and Garrett have moved the goal post. My very first guitar, that blue Stratocaster? You know that one," asked Leif.

"Yeah, you use it when you fiddle around for a different sound," said Lynne.

"Yeah, and she still sounds good too, need to restring her though, and oil the fretboard, maybe you can help me with that after the honeymoon. Anyway, I'd saved a shit load of money for my first guitar, a whole one-hundred seventy-five dollars. I didn't have much more left to go. I was so proud of myself, and I told my mother. Christmas was around the corner, so she made it an early Christmas for me, and bought me the guitar. I was so upset. In getting me that guitar, and I only had fifty dollars left to go, she took away my sense of pride in accomplishment. I was so hurt. I put the money in a card and tried to give it back to them on Christmas Morning. My dad found the card, said that giving her that money would hurt my mom's feelings. He told me that I needed things for my guitar anyway, so to go ahead and buy accessories. So I bought some stomp pedals, extra strings and some chord books. But it took me a long time to get over that hurt. I felt like my parents were telling me I couldn't get that guitar on my own without help," said Leif.

"I don't think they were trying to say that at all. I think they didn't want you to struggle the way they themselves had struggled," said Lynne.

"Maybe so Lynney, but a bit of struggle is what makes you into a man. Linda would have washed my underwear clear up until I moved out of the house at twenty-one if I didn't hide them from her. I started hiding them when I became a little more of a man because of pre-come and stuff like that, you don't want your mom to see. She would wash them anyway unless I hid them. Just those little things, removing all obstacles from me, not letting me grow up and be a man. Every time I'd try to give Garrett a little something for letting me live in the cottage after I got some steady gigs, he'd tell me to save it, save it for the day I moved out of the house. And finally I started to get worried about myself. I imagined myself at thirty years old, still living comfortably and fat in my parents cottage, bringing women over in the evenings, playing guitar and smoking bud all day, and I got scared to death. I realized that I was twenty-one and still living like a teenager. I wanted to be a man. I realized the way to do that would be to move all the way to the other coast, out of the safety net. So that's what I did. I didn't have a lot of money but I learned to support myself, put a roof over my own head. Then when I fell in love with you, I had even more ambition to want to use my guitar talents to be able to provide not just for myself, but you, my lovely woman. It's even more important than providing for myself. I needed something to guide me the right way, and I never got that feeling until I held you in my arms and realized how much I loved you. That you needed me Lynney, me and me alone. You make me feel like a man baby. Guiding you. Protecting you. Loving you. Hell if I can't make a way to get you some decent transportation by saving a little bit, or if we can't at least do it, the two of us together pitching in, I shouldn't have married you today, you lovely little thing. And caring for you, being able to do more for you, keep the lights on, keep your little feet warm, fill your belly, it's not a duty, or an obligation. It is a privilege. It is a joy. Providing you for you, in all ways, emotionally, sexually, physically, baby when we took those vows today, and I saw you in that pretty white dress...well...whatever higher power you want to believe in...being able to care for you in all those ways is a blessing from that higher power. When I know you feel safe, you are content, giggling, warm, and your belly is full, my heart fills with joy. If I can't do that for you, I don't deserve to marry you today, or any other day," said Leif.

All of a sudden, Lynne began to see Leif's peevishness and moodiness in a new light. While she didn't like his lack of appreciation for his parents gift, the fact that he was upset because his parents had spoiled his opportunity to provide for her and care for their family left her feeling that Leif was even more manly than she already thought he was!

He was a real man and he didn't want anyone else, even well meaning parents providing for his family if he felt he had the means to do so. His blue eyes held a glimmer of disappointment laced with fiery determination. He didn't want a handout from anyone, even his well intentioned Linda and Garret. Leif could be so masculine sometimes, but that determination in his eyes, made her feel this instinctive twinge in her womb, because he was the man who was destined to be the father of her beautiful babies. As her husband, he would protect and provide for her babies, but most importantly, he viewed it not as a duty, but as a privilege. She'd never known a man like him before. Her father definitely viewed his family responsibilities as a duty, not something to be enjoyed. This was a different life indeed, with her beautiful manly hippie, even if he did have these primitive mood swings when he felt something was encroaching on his "manly duties". She'd noted his peevishness before when they were having issues with her parents, when he'd wanted her to make a decision, or wanted them to accept their union. But that moodiness was out of love, and the desire to make things better.

Now he dotingly kissed both of her hands.

"Hell yes you should have married me today, Leify. I understand what you are saying. You're a real man and you want to feel like you can care for me, or we can at lest care for each other together. Baby that is beautiful. I...I always thought I was the one doing all the rapid growing up. Well, you were already a full-fledged man when we met, but it humbles me and fills me with awe and love to know that I make you feel like more of a man, and that our relationship has even helped you to grow. When I see how your sense of responsibility has grown to such tender levels of warmth and care for me, it just makes me know that you should have married me today, and I would marry you over and over again. You are a real man, who not only wants to provide and care for me in all ways, but looks at it as a blessing. I don't know what the hell I did to get so lucky but I'm very happy to be your wife. I look at it as a privilege to be able to care for the two of us in any way as well. You are my hero," said Lynne beaming at him.

"See and that's just it. A hero doesn't take handouts from mommy and daddy. I see that you feel I'm your hero when you look in my eyes, and that is such an incredible feeling.

When they got that car for you, a car I wanted us to get with our savings, they take away some of my joy, the joy in having a precious wife, and providing for her physically, materially not just emotionally and sexually. I want you to know you are safe with me, and I can get you what you want and need, or at least Lynney, we can get it together. I was happy and proud for us to work on that goal together. I wanted to put those keys in your hand. Buy you those floor mats. Hell, I was going to also surprise you with the trunk liner. I saw you eyeing it on the Toyota website. I...I notice everything you want Lynney. It's a joy and a privilege, not ever a burden. My greatest pride to provide for you Lynney. I was filled with manly pride when I was able to move us into a bigger apartment and get a second bedroom so you had your own area to set up your piano and work on your songs. My parents were always moving the goal post. They've done it today and I'm sad as hell, they are taking away the joy in providing for my pretty little wife," he added mournfully.

"Well if you feel that way, if that's how you really feel, you need to tell them that. How are they going to know that you feel like they stop you from being a man in some ways if you don't tell them," said Lynne.

"I mean, I don't want to hurt their feelings...I don't want to do that to them,"

"Baby, you gotta tell them. You're my hero. You taught me everything about being true to myself, and standing up to my family when necessary to become the woman I needed to be. I'm actually surprised that you don't want to respectfully tell them how you feel. You don't need to do it in a way that hurts their feelings handsome, but you need to tell them how you feel about jumping in too fast to rescue you," she added, searching into his gorgeous, sky blue eyes.

Leif looked full of concern, Lynne could see the choice gnawing at him, accepting the car while saying nothing, despite his misgivings, because he didn't want to hurt their feelings, or having a conversation with his parents that would at first be uncomfortable, but would eventually move their relationship to a higher and more adult plane.

"Lynney, baby, they aren't like your parents. They just aren't. Your parents deserved a good talking too little mama, my parents bought us a car. Everyone will think I'm crazy for making a fuss about it," said Leif.

"I do still think you are crazy. Crazy as hell! I'm happy about the whip. But there's more to it there than just the whip, you see it as spoiling something you wanted to do for yourself, or even sweeter, for me. Does your brother, does Lyle feel this way, about your parents taking away things you wanted to achieve on your own," asked Lynne.

"Hell yeah. It used to be a running joke among us, not to let our parents know about any projects or other things we were doing, they'd take the reigns and try to do it for us. Not me so much, because I could give a flying shit about school, but Lyle liked school, he did well in it, but, when he was younger, there were many projects that they, well, mostly mom, came in and took over," said Leif.

He did something Lynne was not expecting. He let forth a huge belly laugh. And then he looked down into her eyes, and his eyes just sparkled. She loved that he felt close enough to her to bare his soul, and the exchange left him feeling fortified. It was the same way she felt in his arms.

She chuckled too, only because he looked relieved. And she kissed his forehead.

"If there are legends about it between you and Lyle, this is something that clearly bothers you. I'm glad you are letting me see into your heart. At first I thought you were simply being peevish, but there is more to it, and I understand it...I get why you are unhappy about a brand new car now. Honestly," said Lynne.

"Oh hell Lynne, I feel so close with you baby. It's just what a marriage is about baby doll. I can tell you things I never could tell another soul, and even things that I'm not sure of until I look into those big brown eyes of yours, and I see something there that makes me feel that it's okay to tell you anything. Just share those big, dark secrets, even things I can't even vocalize yet. It's like a whole universe with a language only the two of us understand. But yeah baby, they did it, all the time when we were growing up. Neither of us, I think felt like real men until we flew the coop. Lyle flew nearby, but I knew that wasn't far enough away from me if I didn't want to become a ganga smoking gigolo, I needed to move my ass all the way around the country," said Leif.

"That's what I thought you were when we met, sexy, but definitely a ganga smoking gigolo" teased Lynne.

"Well, I'm a gigolo only for you baby, you'll see tonight. And like a male gigolo I have a lot of things I'll do with my tongue, my fingers, and my dick just for you. But seriously, I don't want to spoil our beautiful wedding day, fighting about wedding present when they gave us this beautiful wedding day," said Leif.

"You haven't spoiled our wedding day! But, feeling like this about your wedding gift will always cast pallor on the day for you, if you don't resolve it in a good way now. I know it's hard, and parents are hard to stand up to. I don't know how I found the strength to do it with my own parents, even though they were clearly being manipulative, selfish, brainwashed, and cold. I never could have done it if you hadn't been family for me, loving me and guiding me. You taught me to be awoman, otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to do it. But with your parents, they are great people, they may be just a tad too zealous at helping out. They are not at all like my parents, and I'm sure they will react a hell of a lot better than mine did to my own need to stretch my wings. If you are so angry you are pouting about our new car, you should really let them know. I mean, do you want to give them the car back, and buy our own or what? Leify it's your decision, but I think that is really silly, I mean, the car has already been purchased, and we need transportation. They already have her old Prius, and your dad has his truck. Well maybe we can give them this new one and take her old one, by now it should already be paid for," said Lynne.