***
The night on the town was in nearby Mexico on the border to California. They were going to Tijuana. Even though it was his last adventure as a single man, he missed Lynne. He texted her a few times and sent her pictures of the road signs on the way. He knew she'd never been to Tijuana. He couldn't wait to take his baby back with him. That was how he knew he was mad for his Lynne! He couldn't even travel without thinking about her, and when he would take her back to see the sights he was seeing.
When he was growing up, he and his friends would always jaunt over to Tijuana for a wild time. Back then wild times included flirting and trying to pick up women. But now, Leif was looking forward to drinking, maybe doing a little dancing, and a few crazy pranks. Leif knew they had something up their sleeve. He just wasn't sure what it was.
The first Bar they went in that evening, right as the sun was setting was in an out of the way place. They didn't see too many tourists yet, even though it was on the tourist strip. They started off with one Mexican beer apiece. They were playing Cantos on an older sound system.
Next they decided on something a little stronger and more daring than beer. Out came another waitress with tequilas on hand which she displayed for the group. This woman was clearly pretty with long dark hair, and exotic eyes, but Leif only had eyes for Lynne. Besides, she was no Lynne, his beautiful adorable cutie, who had him hot, aching and captivated even from all the way across the US border. So, when the waitress made small talk with Leif and flirted with him as his friends kept introducing him as a groom having his bachelor party, Leif didn't make much eye contact with her at all.
He didn't want to flirt anymore. It wasn't his scene. He'd made a quick study of the way his sexy little Lynne would divert attention away from the men trying to flirt with her after her sets, and he employed the same tactics, putting space between himself and the waitress, and not making a lot of eye contact. He was friendly but he didn't smile a lot.
The waitress kept teasing him, calling him shy, and filling his tequila glass. She playfully mentioned that they had someone who could loosen him up. They brought back several singing waitresses, and when they got closer to Leif, he noticed that they were not wearing any tops.
"What the hell are they wearing?" said Leif.
"It's not what they're wearing, it's what they aren't wearing, hell yeah," said Tanner, one of Leif's groomsmen, a buddy who had been in one of his early bands in High School.
"No way Bro. I said no naked chicks, and I meant that shit!" said Leif.
He was a little upset, and he got up from the table and accidentally knocked over his chair.
He stormed out of the little bar.
Matthew was right behind him.
"Hey Brother, I didn't know. I promise. I took you seriously when you said not even a topless bar. I don't know what the others, Andy and Tanner might have said when we walked in the club," said Matthew.
He leaned against the wall outside, smoking a cigarette, while Leif paced back and forth in front of the Bar.
"Yeah man, I believe you...but what are you gonna do with those screwballs in there. You're supposed to be my best man. I don't think we need to have naked chicks to have a good time. Those shits in there...damn they have me almost lying to Lynne. I said no naked chicks, and if she's off somewhere having beers and there are naked guys prancing around, I'd be furious!" said Leif.
"Hell yeah, I know you would. Look. I'll go in there and get those douche bags. I'll give it to them straight. Tell them no naked chicks or they can hit the road. I've got some fun shit I planned for you," said Matthew taking out his iPhone.
Matthew looked very serious, and miffed. Leif could tell that Matthew cared about the new, better man he had become for Lynne, and that sincerity moved him, but it was still weird to act too emotional around his boy.
"Thanks Bro," said Leif behind his hand.
Now he was off bothering Lynne with a text message again, telling him they were singing Mexican cantos, but not nearly as good as she had that first evening with his parents when they took her to the Mexican restaurant during the first visit. He didn't tell her about the topless women. He'd tell her later, and that he left immediately. He didn't want to upset Lynne, but he never wanted to keep things from her. Later on, after they returned to New York from wedding fun and the honeymoon and it was the right time, he'd tell her. It was only a split second and he felt horribly guilty. He was sure she may have had a similar experience along the line. He'd never lie to Lynney.
She'd probably call them all stupid knuckle heads once she realized Leif did not want to be involved. Matthew came out of the bar with Andrew and Tanner in tow. They didn't apologize, just nodded, and said, that they got it, it was his bachelor party, and if he really didn't want naked girls, he didn't want naked girls.
What Leif did want, he assured them, was to get totally wasted! Now for this, they had him covered!
They found another, older, more run down bar. This bar was a much more authentic bar, with greasy placemats, disgusting looking table favors, peanuts that looked like they'd sat on the bar for years, Leif swore he saw a little dust, but the bottle of tequila they pulled from behind the bar looked like a real man's tequila.
Looked like it would burn off all their chest hairs.
Now this was what he'd wanted! A drink that would christen him like a real man as he said goodbye to bachelorhood. This looked like the kind of drink that his little Lynney would sip and probably be ready to pass out, and she loved to drink. Damn! There was that thought again. He knew he should be marrying her, because he missed her so much when she was not around.
They poured him a wickedly huge shot of Tequila, and Leif gulped it down whole, and boy did it burn, but he tried not to act like it burned as his boys chided him.
"Here you try this shit," said Leif pouring Matthew a huge glass.
Matthew could hardly sip the shit without gagging, and Leif bragged, beat his chest and stuck out his shoulders, declaring how tequila separates true men from boys.
They had a few more drinks, and then the bartender offered the worm, for whichever one was brave enough to eat the worm. Leif of course volunteered to eat the worm, chewed it down whole while his boys chanted and filmed his escapade, probably to put up on Facebook.
"She'll never kiss you after she see's that shit," said Andy, referring to Lynne.
Matthew thanked the bartender and gave him a nice tip, and they went driving off to an out of the way beach. Leif was getting a little bit wasted so it took him a while to realize that they were going to a beach. His boys assured him it was not a tourist trap beach, and he should be glad, and they plied him with some brownies.
After a few chews, Leif could tell they were pot brownies, and he felt increasingly fuzzed up and out of control but not in a bad way.
"Say man, where are we going?" asked Leif.
But his boys kept telling him, not to worry, not to worry.
They finally pulled up in front of the beach, and Leif kept thinking it was gorgeous, and secluded and it was wasted on these idiots, and not on his cute little Lynne.
He'd love to see her frolicking about in a little bikini flitting in and out of the water and giggling as the surf licked her cute toes. What the fuck was wrong with him? He couldn't stop thinking of her, and wondered if Lynney was struggling with her girlfriends in the same way.
They spread out a blanket close to the surf, and the drinking games begin, along with more devouring of the pot brownies.
As it got toward the evening, the traffic to the beach started picking up, filled with Mexican locals, apparently enjoying the beautiful secluded beach after their long days at work.
