Lynn and Leif Forevermore

***

Her father made a poor first impression on Leif. Lynne waved toward Leif in the van to come in the house. But her father was looking at the van. He looked at the van up and down and shook his head.

Leif saw her father go back in the house. Lynne stood on the step. Her father handed her a large sheet of cardboard.

Lynne frowned then walked towards Leif.

He got out of the car.

"What's wrong baby?" said Leif.

"He wants you to put this under the car. He says that your van is old and leaky, and the oil that it leaks violates HOA rules. I didn't want to tell you like that baby, I'm sorry," she said kissing his cheek.

Leif had a gentle spirit, but he was furious! The very first contact that he had with the man whose daughter he was dating, and the man was wearing about an oil leak on his precious blacktop. But then again too, as Leif eyed the neighborhood, the homes in the Heights area were really nice. The Millers had some money.

"I'll help you," said Lynne.

"No, I don't want you to get your pretty skirt all messy, I'm fine," said Leif squatting next to the car and putting the cardboard underneath.

Leif stood up next to the car.

"Babe, don't wear that Rasta looking hat over your dreads. Just take it off. It'll make a better impression said Lynne,"

Leif grimaced. He opened the door and threw the hat inside so hard it landed on Lynne's side.

"Come on baby. You wanted to do this. You aren't making it any better. They might be scared of you if the dreads are wrapped. You may as well let them see. I...I didn't tell them you were locked, so don't be surprised if they are surprised," said Lynne.

They walked together to the door, and Lynne laced her fingers proudly in his. It made him feel better about the walk up to their home. He'd been excited to meet them. Now he wasn't sure it was such a good idea after all.

When they approached the door, Lynne stood beside him on the doorstep.

"Mama, Daddy, this is Leif," said Lynne.

"Uh-huh," said her father.

He spent a long time looking at Leif's dreadlocks. If the amount of time that Lynne spent sizing up his dreadlocks seemed long, it paled in comparison to the amount of time that her father spent doing a skeptical glance. But rather than the big eyed, curious stare of Lynne's, her father's glance was mean.

"Leif? How do you spell that, like the part of a tree branch, L-E-A-F" said her mother.

"Mom, it's spelled L-E-I-F. It's cold. Are you gonna let us in? Before our fingers are blue," said Lynne.

Lynne's levity broke the tension and the three of them chuckled. But Leif noticed her father wasn't chuckling, and it was her mother who stepped aside to actually let them in the house.

"So what kind of work do you do Leaves?" asked her father.

The man had not even introduced himself. Did not even give him a damn name. Shit. He was mean as fuck. Lynne was right.

"My name it..it...it..it's not Leaves sir, it's Leif," said Leif.

Of all the times to stutter. Her father made him nervous.

"Leif. Leif. Okay Leif. What do you do?" said her father.

"Really sir? You're asking me what I do for a living before you ask me how I'm doing?" said Leif with a slight chuckle.

Lynne looked at him, with those beautiful big brown exotic eyes, but she looked like she wanted to strangle Leif.

"You're in my house, so I'm the one asking the questions," said her father.

"Daddy!" exclaimed Lynne.

"What baby girl, I just want to know...with that hair, and all that, who has hired this boy. Because we know nothing about this man! I didn't even know you were seeing someone," said her father.

"I told her, I told her to tell you about me, so it wouldn't be such a surprise. I understand why everyone is so nervous. I'm...I'm a musician. Just like your lovely daughter," said Leif.

Lynne's mother smiled. But it didn't seem to break the ice with her father at all.

***

Lynne's father had taken him down to the basement to play pool. It was an unmitigated disaster.

First he asked Leif where he'd gone to College.

Leif smiled, and then replied,

"The school of hard knocks. I knew that college wasn't for me. So I didn't go. But I make an okay living as a musician. And, I've made my own program of study on a lot of topics. I have some real interesting conversations with Lynne," said Leif. It was a struggle not to relax and call her Lynney.

"The school of hard knocks isn't accredited. How do you expect to be able to care from someone else? Sounds like you can barely take care of yourself. I've been to that school, the school of hard knocks, and I'm lucky to have all this that I have. I wouldn't have any of it at all if I hadn't cleaned up my life and gotten right with God," huffed her father.

He asked Leif's opinions on several topics, mostly religion, and matters of faith, and Leif tried to stick to the script and be as vague as possible, sine Lynne had warned him.

Her father ended up reading a bunch of scriptures about the dangers of drugs, music, and immoral sex. Leif felt like he'd been to a church revival. But he couldn't say he hadn't been warned. He definitely understood now why Lynne had not wanted him to meet her parents. He only hoped that Lynne was fairing better with her mother upstairs in the kitchen making dinner preparations. Leif had wanted to get away from her father, and his annoying, bible thumping ways and had suggested helping in the kitchen, and her father wore a complete expression of utter shock and disdain.

"Can you cook Leif," said her father.

"I normally leave all cooking to Lynne sir, I can't boil water," said Leif.

Shit.

He hadn't meant to let it slip out that they were together so intimately. He hoped it wouldn't make trouble for her.

"Did you just see all those scriptures about premarital sex? Look I don't know what it is that you have going on with Lynne, but all I know is, she woke up one day, and she completely changed. We hope that she comes back to her senses and gives herself back over to God. You are a distraction for her, and I'm almost wondering if it's boys like you who have caused her to turn her back on her faith," said her father.

"With all due respect sir, Lynne is a grown woman, and what she chooses to do with her relationship with God, is between her and God. I'm not distracting her or making her choose to do anything she doesn't want to do. She'd already moved on from your church a year before she met me. Look, I suck..or...I'm not good at pool. I'm going to go upstairs and sit in the living room and wait. The conversation isn't doing us any good at all," said Leif.

"Okay...I'll see you at dinner," promised her father.

Leif heard him racking balls by himself down there. Leif thought he probably spent a lot of time with his balls to himself. Pool balls, and other balls. He was grinning to himself like a mad man at his own joke, to keep from punching the wall out of frustration.

***

Dinner was Hell on Earth for Lynne. She had no idea what happened in the basement, but when she came out of the kitchen, she saw that Leif was already sitting at the dining room table with his hands clasped. Lynne started sitting down several serving dishes on the table.

"Baby what's the matter," said Lynne.

She walked over and kissed him on the cheek. It looked like it made him feel better, but her mother looked a little shocked at the easiness of affection between the two of them, so Lynne rationalized that she needed to turn it down a bit.

"Nothing. It looks great. How can I help the ladies," said Leif.

He went into the kitchen and helped carry the roast and other sides, and helped Lynne set the table.

Finally they were all around the table holding hands, and saying grace. Lynne was embarrassed at how long the prayer was before the food. Her father thanked any and everything, and Lynne could see how anxious that Leif was getting with the good smelling food.

Lynne and Leif didn't even really say grace around the table together. When she remembered sometimes she prayed for the two of them. Leif told her he liked listening to her prayers. She was sweet and sincere. It was wonderful to pray with Leif openly, because in the faith she was raised, women were not allowed to pray when men were present. It was viewed as a sign of disrespect. But Leif was beautiful, and liberal, so they shared the duties of blessing a meal on those occasions when Lynne remembered. But sometimes, rather than praying Leif would say something beautiful about the variety of plants and how they all tasted different and how he was grateful for mother nature, and for his sweet Lynne. Leif was spiritual in his own way. He was beautiful, inside and out.

She wished her father could see that.

Everyone ate their food and chewed in silence. It was the quietest dinner ever.

Then, Lynne's father spoke up.

"So...I have to ask...how far have you two strayed. How serious has this whole thing gotten? Even if you have strayed too far, it's not too late if you have a repentant heart and want to do right toward god," said her father.

Shit. Shit. He was really going to ask her, in front of Leif, if they were intimate? She could not believe this! Frankly it wasn't any of her father's concern. Her father had invited her over. She hadn't sought him out. It was embarrassing, and most people did not understand the implications of straying as defined by their little cultic sec. Straying was the course of a sinner who had committed premarital sex. And it could be punished by excommunication. That meant that her father, her mother, and everyone else in the church, would not be able to talk to her, at all. That left her college buddies, Janelle, and her man Leif as her only support and friend in the world. And, her father was basically asking, if Lynne had a reason to be excommunicated.

It was funny that her father felt the need to pry into sexual matters now, but when she was with Martin, her father had batted an eye at Martin bringing her in at all hours of the night. 'That good church boy,' was what he called Martin. He was a good boy alright, a good boy who bullied her into sex, then raped her because the penetration wasn't deep enough. Her father scolded Lynne to hurry up and finish that Master's degree so she could hurry up and get married and give that Martin boy some babies. Her father had her life all planned out for her. As a tenured history professor, he told her that she'd have all her summers off to spend with her kids, and she'd be able to help raise them, and other children to be god fearing children and work with them in church related capacities over the summer because she was good with children.

And now, all of a sudden, he seemed to care whether her virtues were pure or not, because she was seeing a white man, with dreadlocks, with no money, and no obvious church affiliation. Oh the hypocrisy!

"Daddy, I can't believe you! What kind of person do you think I am!" said Lynne.

"I'm gonna ask you this, and I'm going to ask it one more time...how serious has this thing gotten? Are you living together and unmarried?"

Lynne heard Leif start speaking, and before he had a chance to say something that would change her life forever, and get her excommunicated from the church, she squeaked out-

"No Daddy. No, Leif and I are just getting to know each other as friends," said Lynne.

"Well...well that's a good answer baby girl. Because you know what the feeling is on that. You know how God feels about our clean and pure standing before God. I'd prefer you not sing in those clubs, and whatever wild parties might be going on, but we can't ignore the sex issue...that bonding was to be saved between man and wife. I know...I know the differences between the two of you might seem exciting, the race, and the religion, but you're really, you're really from two different worlds, and...I know that you'll wake up Lynne, and realize what a mistake that you've made, and it is a good thing that things aren't too serious. I mean, if you're really just friends and all that, then it paves the way for you to get back in your good standing with God," said her father.

"The ladies, in the church congregation miss your singing Lynne. They miss your cooking too. You are learning to cook so well from me and your Grandma. They miss your pecan cookies. And most of all they miss you. Leif seems like a nice young man. And I'm sure you care about him. And Chauncey, I don't see why Lynne has to just be friends with the boy. You can see that she loves him. I'm sure the lead pastor could overlook the sinning if it doesn't happen again. He could...he could bible study with Leif...and if he loves her, he should cut his hair. Nice clean cut hair cut...he's a handsome boy. It would do the church good to integrate some, have a white male face. The pastor would probably overlook it all, with your position Chauncey. Might look better if Lynne comes back home to live though...I don't know. And baby, you don't have to give up on singing...just stop singing in those clubs. I don't know why your father didn't let you major in music like you wanted to. We'd be happy to see you get some schooling in music. And you can be a nice music teacher. Even the children miss you. It's been years since you worked with the children's choir. Some of those kids are starting middle school now. They all ask about you and they-".

"The last thing on earth those kids need to see is how this girl has lost her mind and is going around with some broke Caucasian man with dreadlocks, named after a piece of a plant. She needs to stop being silly and come on home and-"

"Hey guys. Stop. Please stop. You're embarrassing me in front of Leif. That's enough now. Don't worry about me. I'm not sinning. It's not all that serious between us, I'm not living in sin. But, I'm not coming back to church. I just....I just can't deal with it right now. And....and I like my career. You know I sing in nightclubs, and I'm not ashamed of that. Things are turning around nicely. And Leif had this made for me. I hope you'll listen to it. It's not church music, but...most of it is not immoral. It's beautiful music, it's just not church music. And I love my life right now. And I don't want to change a thing about myself, or my music, career, or Leif. But don't worry. I won't embarrass you. I...I know to stay on my side of town. I know...I know I disappoint you. But I still love you," said Lynne.

"Come on Leif baby let's go," said Lynne.

Her eyes were filled with tears.

Leif sat at the table and Lynne pulled him by the arm.

"Baby, come on!" said Lynne loudly, tugging at his sweater.

After what seemed like minutes but was probably more like thirty seconds, Leif stood up from the table.

"But you haven't eaten the sweet potato pie. Your favorite, your Grannie's recipe. If you stay, I'll give you the recipe," said her mother.

"Oh Mama, I just can't right now...Mama I love you. Don't ever forget it. I just don't love this life that you and daddy have," said Lynne.

The tears flooded like a broken dam, but Lynne kept her back to her mother and father sitting at the table. If she turned and looked at them, and how heartbroken and lost they looked, she was afraid she'd run back into their arms. And that was opposite from the direction in which she needed to run.

***

Leif grabbed Lynne's hand as they walked to his van in the cool fall evening. Night had fallen, but the streetlights were on, and her face was streaked with tears. Ordinarily, if her face was streaked with tears like that, he would have taken her into his chest and consoled her. He liked consoling her, babying her, making her feel safe. But right now, he was mad at her. He'd been doing too much babying.

She needed to grow up! What the hell had happened in there? As soon as her churchy ass parents turned the heat up on her and asked questions about their lifestyle, he was discarded as a 'didn't mean anything' chopped livered friend. Whatever they had going on was between her, and her parents, but Leif did not appreciated being tossed off so lightly.

At Lynne's convenience. Everything in this relationship was at her own damn convenience. His balls had been tight and aching for two months, and he was finally getting some relief at her expert lips, but he still hadn't made love to her. He didn't want to move too fast, he knew she had been scared of sex because of the rape.

But the part that made him the angriest, was that he didn't even worry about the full intercourse part. He knew that they would get to that soon. He even figured that they'd waited so long, he'd wait and get his lovely consolation prize, in a sweet piece of her little ass, for waiting so long, once she really knew how much he cared about her, so much that he wanted to ask her to marry him.

And then, just like a clueless moron, she was downplaying the seriousness of their relationship. It wasn't serious? Like hell it wasn't! They'd spent every fucking night together for two months. That was serious.

He got angrier and angrier as they were walking to the car, and he let go of her hand.

She didn't know he was seething and she playfully bumped his knuckles.

"My hands are cold. It was chilly out here. I need to feel your warmth," she teased, grabbing for his hands.

"Well you should have worn gloves. Get ready for a cold ass night," said Leif.

She looked at him quizzically.

"What? Aren't you going to boost me in," said Lynne.

"They might see. We can't have them seeing that. Only a serious boyfriend should grab his woman's cheeks to lift her in the van," said Leif.

He slammed her car door so hard he rocked the van.

Then he went over to his side and did the same thing.

"Come on Leify, don't be so hard baby, don't be mad. I know they are jerks, but they don't mean to be. They are crazy but it's a long story. I'll explain on the way home. And buckle your seat belt!" she said as he peeled away from the curb so fast, the car tires squealed.

He left that fucking cardboard right on the space. Let her old balding assed father pick it up, since he was so concerned about his van leaking oil. He should have been concerned with the emotional damage that he caused sweet and beautiful Lynne. But Leif tried not to think about that too much. He couldn't start getting mushy for her, as bad as he wanted to. Because then he couldn't give her a piece of his mind, and a reality check, and she certainly deserved it. Most of the time, it was easy to be gentle with her, and patient, because she was sweet, beautiful, fun, sexy and just a gem to be around but at times like this, he got really annoyed at the very same sweet qualities that drew him in to her. That child like sweetness. Not wanting to disappoint her parents.

She was childish. Annoyingly so at times. And she needed to grow up.

"Leif. You haven't spoken to me nicely since we got back in this car. What's wrong," she asked gently touching his shoulder.

He shirked away from her touching him. It wasn't that he didn't want to feel her touch. He was afraid that the touch would bring on tender feelings and keep him from setting her straight. She needed it. Oh how she needed it. She needed to grow up.

"What do you mean what's wrong Lynne? What the hell just went on in there!" shouted Leif.

And he hated shouting at her.

He glanced at her, and the pretty almond shaped eyes were wide with shock.

"Hey I don't like it when you yell at me!" shouted Lynne.

Once again her eyes were watery. Damn, as soon as he raised his voice she was almost ready to cry. Scared of her own shadow. But on stage, or in front of a video game, she ruled the universe. Childish.

"Well, I don't like it when you act like an immature little girl either! What the hell was that in there? Huh what was it Lynne? Just what the fuck were you doing in there sweetie. Please tell me so that I'm informed," said Leif.