Love Nows No Color

Having driven all night to get to the family farm, Shavonda was soon fast asleep while I, having slept during the long drive down, was wide awake. In the darkness I gazed at the dark, naked form beside me. I ran my hands over her body. God, I wanted her right now, I wanted to be inside her, to feel her body squeeze around me as I gently thrust into her, Instead, I sat up in the bed and fired off my laptop.

I pulled up the photos I'd taken last year. Shavonda was pregnant. Again! I was looking forward to watching her grow with my child. As beautiful as she was, pregnancy made her even more beautiful to me. I pulled up the photos I'd taken of her during her last pregnancy, studying the way her body changed as Miracle grew.

I don't know how long I'd been looking when I felt her stir against me. "What you doing, boo?" she asked sleepily.

"Looking at your photos," I replied.

Instantly awake, Shavonda snuggled against me as she looked at the photos. "Nasty," she said playfully.

"Those aren't nasty," I replied. "They're beautiful. Look at you! All pregnant and glowing."

"Look at me," she replied. "I had nice a nice body. Now I got floppy cow titties."

"You were beautiful then, and you're beautiful now," I said. "You've always been beautiful to me. Everything that you don't like about yourself, I'm in love with."

Shavonda snuggled deeper into my side, smiling. "That's why I love you. You say the nicest things, and actually mean them. My skin's too dark, that turns you on. My hair is a hot mess, you want to play in it. My titties flop, you want to drink them. It just doesn't matter to you. OH, and the fact that you're packing some serious meat and know how to use it makes it all worthwhile."

"Because you possess a piece of me I can never get back. I don't want you to change for me. I want you as you are. I'd be lost without you. Because of you I have everything. You made me fight for the kids. You inspired me to do things I couldn't before. Now I owe it all to you."

"Mmmm hmmmm, and the great sex had nothing to do with it?" Shavonda giggled sleepily.

"This coming from a woman who wore me out trying to get pregnant," I laughed. Shavonda playfully hit my shoulder. "Seriously, I'm glad you're pregnant. No more rabbit sex. We can take our time and make love now. Remember when we first got together? When it was all new and we took the time to explore each other

"Mmmmm, I do. You were so different from the others I'd had. I was used to the 'never been with a black girl before' but you were in awe of me. I wasn't just your chocolate fantasy, I am your goddess? Do you know how special that makes me feel? You didn't just want to hit it on the down low. You changed your whole life around me. Nobody ever did that before. Everything I've done, everything I am, even my family members: you accepted all of that without question. And your family did too, pretty much."

Shavonda continued, "You know, I had a crush on you before we ever met in person. And after that first night I was in love. I would have been your plaything if you'd wanted. Not out of desperation, but because I was in love with you. You could have hidden me away, and visited me when you felt like it and I wouldn't have stopped you. But you didn't. You never tried to hide me. I knew what we were in for but you didn't. And yet, you never flinched. No matter what, you supported me, supported us. What really sealed the deal for me was when Ethan discovered my dress in your closet. You told them about me, then invited me to meet them. No hiding who I was. I watched you in the park with them, saw how much you loved them."

"And now they love you too," I finished. "What's not to love?"

The conversation dwindled, and soon my exhausted queen was fast asleep, arm and leg thrown over me, he most sensitive parts in full contact with my side. I let her sleep, but I couldn't resist gently playing with her nipples and rubbing her ass. In response, her hand found its way to my crotch, and she humped against me in her sleep. Great, I can't sleep. Now I have a beautiful, naked black woman grinding against my leg and playing with my dick. I've got the mother of all boners, and she's blissfully asleep. It's going to be a long night.

"Mmmmmm Jason," Shavonda murmured. She wasn't fully asleep after all. "Why don't you slip me that thing and make me have sweet dreams..." It was what I wanted to hear. I gently rolled her on her back, and lifted her left leg over my hips. Positioning myself scissors style. one leg over her right leg. I let her guide me to paradise. She was wet and ready for me as I gently thrust my way inside. Shavonda moaned in her sleep," That's it baby, Ease it in. Mmmmmm."

It took several gentle thrusts before I bottomed out. I could feel her walls gently clutching around me in that way I knew so well. I worked slowly, gently, so as not to wake her. Shavonda moaned appreciatively in her semi-conscious state. I took my time, knowing I had the rest of the night. Rubbing her clit as I thrust, just to hear her soft moans and feel her tighten around me. Backing off when I got too close to coming. And when I was ready to go over the edge, holding back while I stimulated her clit until she, too was ready. Then, the hard thrusts that took us both over the edge. Watching her tits bouncing and swaying as I took her with me over the edge. The release, unendurable pleasure prolonged as I shot deep within her as she contracted around me.

Resting for a few minutes inside her as I softened and slipped out. Wishing I could see the remnants of our love oozing out of her pussy like I knew it was. I snuggled against her satiated body, thumb circling her nipple as I kissed her. "Thank you, boo," I whispered. And Shavonda snored in response. Soon, I too was asleep.

When we awoke to the delightful smell of turkey, it was after 11am. We quickly showered together, then I watched in awe as Shavonda dressed, first pulling on panties, then a white bra that shone against her skin, and finally pulling on a bright blue dress that showed off her figure nicely. I dressed in Khakis and a long-sleeved flannel shirt. I changed and dressed Miracle as Shavonda fiddled with her makeup, then we descended the stairs together to find most of the family already gathered in the house.

"Well it's about time you two got up!" boomed my sister Sally. "I can't look after your kids all day!"

"You know you love it," I shot back. "You get to enjoy them then give em back when they're bad."

I was surprised to see that both sides of my family were there. Shavonda greeted everybody with her usual warm hug. There was so much love in her mannerisms that it was catchy. Grandpap Duncan was smiling from ear to ear, my cousins returned the hug, Jamie enthusiastically, Marcia a little less so. Only Aunt Nora shied away, giving Shavonda the evil eye. Shavonda returned the glare. I was reminded of two cats ready to fight, backs arched and hair on end. "Just try to get along with her," I whispered. "It's only for one day."

We soon sat down for dinner, at the ancient wooden table that had graced the kitchen for as long as anybody could remember. The table had been designed so that leaves could be added to increase its size. There were three leaves, and all of them had been added to the table. It was now massive enough to seat twelve. The patriarchs of the family sat at the ends of the table, Dad at one end with Mom to his right and Grandma to his left, and Grandpap on the other with Nora to his right. Shavonda and I were seated next to Jamie and her sister Marcia, with Kenny and Edie across from us and his parents Walt and Penny beside them. Mom had found an old high chair, and Miracle sat between Shavonda and me.

The center of the table was piled with bowls of homemade food, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, peas, corn. Greens in honor of Shavonda, and a huge turkey on a silver platter in the midst of it all. Mom asked Shavonda to say the blessing. "What should I say?" she asked.

"Just give thanks for the things you are grateful for," Mom said.

"I'd like to thank the Lord for all the blessings he's brought into our lives this past year. He's brought us health, prosperity, and a loving family. I'd like to give thanks for the wisdom he's given me, and His guidance in raising the children I've always wanted. I give thanks for the loving husband I have, and this family as well. I am thankful for the opportunity to expand my business further, I also give thanks for His looking after the continued health and prosperity of both our families, and pray that He continues to do so. These things I ask in Jesus name, Amen."

As we passed around the food and everybody started to dig in, Mom asked," Did you say you expanded the business?"

"Yes, I did," Shavonda replied. "We were able to open a third store. This time I'm trying something different. The new store is Shavonda's African Marketplace, and we are selling items related to my culture."

"That figures," Aunt Nora muttered under her breath. Mom shot her a dirty look as Edie exclaimed, "Oh shit!"

"What did you say?" Shavonda demanded.

"I got this," I told Shavonda as I turned to Aunt Nora. "Just what exactly did you mean by 'that figures?' Do you have a problem?"

"Why does she have to celebrate her culture? Why can't she just be an American like everybody else?" Nora said. My jaw dropped in dismay as Shavonda started to rise from her seat.

"I GOT this," I insisted, gently pushing Shavonda back in her seat. "Aunt Nora, how can you be so clueless? You celebrate your culture all the time. It's all around you. Why can't Shavonda celebrate hers? Why is it that people like you can't let her be herself?'

"My culture is American," Nora insisted.

"Appalachian American," I corrected. "Come to the city some time. They make fun of us and our ways. They think we're a bunch of inbred morons. They look down on us just like you're doing to my wife. Look, I'm not going to let you disrespect the love of my life. I'm not going to let you spoil dinner for everybody else because YOU can't accept her. Now," I looked around the room, "is there ANY body else who thinks Von and Edie shouldn't be here?" I pointedly looked directly at Marcia, who to this point had avoided Shavonda. "Marcia?"

Marcia squirmed in her seat, looking uncomfortable. "I have nothing against her," she finally said. "I don't really know her, only what I've heard."

"Then maybe you SHOULD get to know her," I said. "I've had my say. Let's eat."

"Nora," Grandpap said, "why can't you just accept her? She isn't who you or I would have chosen for Jefferson to marry. No disrespect, Von. I have come to know you as a fine young woman, and I understand the wisdom of Jefferson's choice. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't come to your wedding. But back then I couldn't accept your marriage. But I do now, and Nora you should too. It's obvious they love each other. If they're happy together we should accept them. God brought them together for a reason and who are we to second guess His plan?"

Thus chastened, Nora ate in silence as Mom asked Shavonda about the new store. They chatted like the good friends they'd become. Shavonda and I took turns feeding Miracle from our plates, spooning her small portions of mashed Potatoes and gravy, which she loved. She also loved the small bits of gravy smothered turkey I fed her, but grimaced and pushed the spoon away when Shavonda tried to give her some cranberry. One taste was enough.

"I saved the best for last," Shavonda said giddily. "We have an important announcement to make. I'm pregnant!"

"What?" Mom exclaimed, "When?"

"I just took the home test a couple days ago, so I haven't been to the doctor's yet. But my best guess is about three weeks. I haven't started to get morning sickness or cravings yet."

Everybody congratulated us on the new addition, and Shavonda happily talked about the pregnancy with the other ladies. All, that is, except Aunt Nora, who kind of sulked in her seat. My wife told them that we were hoping for a boy this time, but honestly we'd be happy with whatever gender she was carrying.

Dessert was the traditional pumpkin pie. After the past couple of years with Shavonda's family and their fondness for sweet potato pie, I'd forgotten how much I loved Pumpkin pie. Shavonda watched in horror as I piled several inches if whipped cream on top of my slice. "Jason," she admonished, "That's way too much!" She'd never seen me with pumpkin pie before. But I ignored her, and indulged in the sweet treat. Miracle seemed to enjoy it as well.

After we'd eaten, Mom pulled me, Shavonda, Kenny and Edie aside. "We found something in the attic the other day," she said, pointing to a box on top of the living room TV stand. "You remember how Pap was always taking videos when you were kids? We found the tapes."

And so, we spent the rest of the evening in the living room, watching the home movies from when I was a child. "You were cute as hell," Shavonda said as she watched Kenny and me playing on the screen. There were birthday parties, trips up the mountain, and even a few train related scenes. There was even footage of Aunt Nora's wedding. And footage of me playing with the little red stake sided wagon that was such a big part of my childhood. In a few scenes, Pap himself made an appearance in his beloved straw hat. He looked the part of the mountain man he was, and you'd never have guessed that this simple farmer was also a fully qualified electrical engineer.

One scene in particular caught our attention, one that I vaguely remembered from real life. In it, we are gathered on top of the portal at Ray Tunnel waiting for a train. There are numerous other photogrqaphers scattered along the tracks, waiting. A two unit helper locomotive rolled past, heading west into the tunnel. Alcos! I recognized the big burly look of the long-retired locomotives, the last hurrah from a defunct builder. Locomotives that the railfan community chased to the ends of the earth now, but back in the 1980s they toiled in obscurity deep in the mountains on a railroad that purposely kept a low profile. Their distinctive chug resonated as they rolled past. But they weren't the reason we were there that day. Rare as they were, around here they were an everyday sight.

The real reason for the outing soon appeared, a streamlined steam locomotive pulling about a dozen passenger cars filled with excited people. It was down to a crawl, the steep upgrade taxing its ability to keep the train rolling around the sweeping turn to the tunnel. As it approached, a freight train, itself breaking no speed records, passed it on the other track.

This was the legendary Great Circle Trip, Dad explained. The locomotive had recently been restored to operating condition. In a once in a lifetime show of cooperation, the local railroad historical society in Roanoke had gotten approval to run a special train in October of 1987, using the Norfolk & Western lines between Roanoke and Glasgow, Va where it crossed our railroad. From there, the route went west through Clifton Forge past our house to Narrows, the backtracked to Norcross and back onto the N&W to Roanoke. I was six years old at the time, but Pap Waite had decided to take us trackside to see something we might never witness again.

As the rest of the tapes played, the conversation turned to Pap himself. He'd been almost like a second father to me. Being retired during my formative years, he provided guidance my working father couldn't, and his curiosity encouraged my own. He always encouraged me to ask questions, gave me the answers to what he knew, and encouraged me to find out the ones he didn't. Our interests hadn't always meshed, he was fascinated by all things electrical while I preferred nature. But he'd always encouraged me to be myself. I felt a twinge of sadness watching the tapes.

"You miss him, don't you?" Shavonda asked, snuggled under my arm on the couch.

"Yes," I said. "And what happened to him was part of the reason I moved away."

"What happened?" she asked.

"He got Alzheimer's," I replied sadly. "And his once brilliant mind began to falter. He started to forget more and more. And I couldn't take it. I couldn't accept that he was deteriorating, so I moved away, afraid to come home to find that he no longer recognized me. The last time I saw him, he didn't know who I was. I'd rather remember him like this."

After the movies, Kenny and Calvin persuaded me to play some music with them, but Shavonda declined to participate. Instead, she and Edie sat talking with Jamie and Marcia, watching as we played the songs Calvin and Kenny loved so much. Eventually, we stopped and persuaded Edie and Shavonda to sing along.

It turned out that Marcia had wanted to spend time with Shavonda. After what Jamie had told her, and what had transpired at the dinner table, Marcia decided she wanted to find out the real story behind Shavonda. By the time we'd stopped playing music and sat down, everybody was chatting like old friends. Nora, who was nowhere to be seen, had lost another battle. She was now the lone holdout in the family, stuck in her inability to accept the beautiful ebony woman who'd become the center of my world.

As Marcia explained to me, "I wanted to believe what my mother said, but everything everybody else was telling me about Von contradicted what she was saying. Mom had tried to make it out like she was some kind of degenerate who lured you away with kinky sex, and that you'd settled for a woman far beneath you." Shavonda shot a glance around the room, looking for Nora. But Nora was nowhere to be seen.

"Doesn't she realize that I made the best choice of my life here?" I asked. "Doesn't she see that I married up, not down? That I have a wonder woman as wife, who loves me as much as I love her? She's taken in my children as her own! And she loves them as much as I do!"

"I don't think that's the issue," Marcia said quietly. She turned to Shavonda. "This is no disrespect to you, but she doesn't think whites and blacks should marry."

'No offense taken," Shavonda said. "I've dealt with racism all my life. If she don't like us being together, we going to put our love on display. We did that the first time we met her. I think that's why she thinks I'm a floozy and slut."

"It does offend her," Marcia said. "Grandma was the same way. But I think once Grandma got used to you she would have come around. And once she did, you would have loved her. She was such a sweet lady."

"I know Jason was really hurt that she never got to meet me," Shavonda replied. "Y'all don't realize it, but he really came unglued last summer when she passed. He still feels some kinda way. He thinks I don't know but I do. He's held it together for us, and I love him for it."

"We felt like Jason was turning his back on us when he married you," Marcia said. "Now I know that wasn't true."

After the guests had left, we crawled into bed. In the morning we'd have a big day riding the rails, with Kenny and Edie following our train and taking video. Since Scott was going to call us when he got ready to leave Wolf Creek, we'd taken one of the phones off its charger and carried it to the bedroom with us. We didn't want to disturb the others.

That night I had the strangest dream. Shavonda and I were on the banks of a lazy river winding its way through the mountains. We'd found a rock where we could sit and dip our toes in the shallow water. In a pool teeming with fish about three feet deep.

As we sat, the fish swam around our feet, curious at first, then braver as they grew used to our presence. Eventually, they began to bump up against us, nibbling at our ankles and toes. "It tickles," Shavonda laughed. And it did.

Eventually, one particularly large catfish came up and started sucking on my big toe. It felt so good, I sat there enjoying the attention as Shavonda looked on in wonder. "I guess she likes you," she said.