Author's note: This story follows the events of several other stories I've written. It can be read as a standalone installment but makes some references to a few of my earlier stories.
If you don't want to read any of my previous stories (boo), then here's what you need to know in order to enjoy this one:
*
My name is Lola, and I'm a half-Asian girl with big tits and serious daddy issues. My dad is white, and we've been estranged since I was 18, so I mostly fuck older white guys as a way to fill the void he left in my life (or so my therapist says). I have major submissive tendencies that are triggered by aggressive, big-dick alpha males who act like they own me. I have a bad habit of putting myself in situations where these guys have the upper hand, and when that happens, I almost always end up with a huge cock (or two) buried inside me. At the same time, I also get off on being withholding, so I love to tempt and torment small-cock beta males who don't deserve me.
I'm in my late-20s now, but this story takes place during my junior year of college.
Hugs,
Lola
***
I've often wondered how my relationships with men, and particularly white men, would be different if I were just Asian or just white rather than a mixed race hapa.
There are two sides to this question, of course: first, there's the issue of whether I would act differently around white men if I weren't mixed, but there's also the matter of whether white men would treat me differently as a white girl or an Asian girl.
I think the second dimension of this question is easier to answer based on my observations of how white guys treat other girls. While there are certainly some white guys who specifically pursue Asian women, I think a lot of white guys tend to view Asian girls as unfamiliar, not very relatable, and maybe even a little bit weird. Even the most assimilated, native-born Asian Americans have to contend with stereotypes of the "perpetual foreigner" and the "inscrutable Oriental."
So while most Asian girls in America are fetishized, sexualized, and assumed to be submissive in ways that definitely appeal to some white men, this is sometimes accompanied by the perception that Asian women are unknowable or unapproachable, which creates something of a culture barrier between white guys and Asian girls. In addition, while the white male-Asian female dyad is certainly among the most common mixed-race pairings in the U.S., the reality is that most Asian women end up with Asian guys. What this means is that a lot of white guys tend to assume (quite correctly) that the average Asian girl probably isn't interested in them.
As a result, several of my Asian American girlfriends have actually found that they have to go out of their way to attract attention from white guys, because otherwise they tend to get ignored or overlooked.
But in my experience, being half-Asian changes this calculus completely, because white guys make a different set of assumptions about mixed race girls. Unlike my Asian girlfriends, white guys often see me as approachable, relatable, and familiar, which eliminates the culture barrier between us. Moreover, these guys seem to intuit that because I have a white parent, I must be open to the idea of mixed race coupling and having sex with non-Asian guys. Consequently, white guys tend to be seen as a much more natural and likely romantic partner than most of my Asian girlfriends.
But that doesn't mean that they treat me the same way they would an ordinary white girl. Because although I am white enough to be relatable, my obviously Asian features also set me apart as exotic and mysterious. In this way, I occupy an in-between space, familiar enough to pursue yet different enough to stir the imagination. When white men look at me, they see something they recognize, but it's not their mother, or their sister, or their daughter. Instead, they see an approachable vessel for their fantasies, a submissive Asian girl with an affinity for whiteness already bred into her bloodline.
Such is the double-bind of the half-white, half-Asian girl. If I were white, these men might see me as a true romantic partner. If I were Asian, they might be inclined to leave me alone. But instead, I am neither and both, a plaything caught halfway between love and neglect, an object of pure fantasy and disposable lust.
And yet there is still the other side of this coin left to ponder. Would I act differently around white men if I weren't half-Asian? I've ask myself this question many times.
Would I feel such kinship with white men if I didn't have a white father? Would I be so drawn in by their attention?
And would I have such strong submissive tendencies if I didn't have a Korean mother? Would I still be so eager to please these men?
Did I become a slut because that's what men see when they look at me? Or was it always my fate to feed their fantasies, an accident of birth and biology that bestowed upon me a body of sinful proportions and a brain that lights up under the influence of a dominant man?
I can never know the answers to these questions. I can only tell my stories and let you judge for yourself.
...
At the beginning of the first story I ever posted on this site, I wrote that most of my friends are aware of the way I am with men. Yet if you've read my subsequent stories, then you'll know that in the beginning, I was mostly able to keep my slutty side a secret from the people in my life.
Yes, I fucked my boss at the country club job I worked at the summer after my senior year, an older married man named Magnus who lured me into a vulnerable position and exploited my submissive nature. I even let him photograph our encounter. But as far as I know, the only person who knew about this was another member of the country club who had conspired with my boss to manipulate me, only to be humiliated himself in his moment of triumph when Magnus claimed me all for his own. (See: Lola's Summer at the Club.)
