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It has been about three months since our little cabin adventure and now winter is in full swing. Thankfully in North Carolina it's not as bad as it could be but it is still rather cold considering I moved from the sunny side of California.
I planned on dropping by Dan's and Kenna's place since I haven't seen her in a while. Again Dan answered the door. I'm starting to think he's the official doorman of the house. We greet each other, talking until I see Kenna on the couch. With Sean laying his head in her lap. She was running her hands through his hair as he looked up at her conversing about something. I stopped dead in my steps and Dan noticed me, so he decided to grab my arm and walk me back towards the front of the house.
When we made it there, he decided to break the silence.
"Look man I told you to be careful."
"What are you talking about? They're just friends and they probably do this all the time right?" I ask unsurely searching his face.
"Yes they do do this all the time but the look on your face says that you're about to commit a homicide. I told you not to get your heart broken. I also told you to be careful around her." I thought he was going to say more but he seems a little worried.
"You don't need to worry about me. I can handle Kenna."
"That's what they all say. Listen I love Kenna to death but she's not really wired like the rest of the world. She cares, she likes, but love? It's not really her thing."
I turn and leave because frankly I don't want to hear none of this nonsense anymore. He's trying to tell me that she doesn't love me. I know she loves me. I decided to have a talk with Sean sooner rather than later.
A week passed and I set a meet up with Sean. Kenna and I haven't really been spending time together which bothers me. She's either too busy or our schedules don't align. I almost snap and decide to quit my job, but my senses came back to me.
I see Sean sitting at a table waiting for me.
"Hey Sean, thank you for coming. I need to talk to you about Kenna. I asked you to back off. I was trying to be nice I really was but it seems like you didn't get the message clear."
"Woah straight to the point. Nice to see you too Axl." He raised his drink to me in a mock salute.
"I'd rather not break bread with you. I just wanted to reestablish that Kenna is mine."
"And I would like to reestablish what I said to you before, that Kenna doesn't belong to anyone. You may think she has romantic feelings for you but she doesn't. I thought the same thing six years ago. The way she makes you feel like you're her entire world, like she only sees you and nobody else. She knows things about you that you never thought anyone else would know or notice. The way she caresses you when you're alone or the way she looks at you when you're in public. It seems like she's staking her claim on you the way she holds you in front of other people. How passionate she is in the bed. How wet she gets or how she does that thing with her tongue. It's all so intoxicating. The things she makes you feel. I know just like you know that we're in love with her and there's no way that she'll reciprocate those feelings. You trick yourself into thinking those little looks she gives you are only for you, that she has only ever looked at one person like that in the world and it's you."
He stops to look at me waiting for me to say something. My mouth opens and closes. He continues with his onslaught of words, slowly ripping my heart out with them.
"You ever notice that she knows everything about you but you don't know shit about her? To this day all I know about her is the basics. I don't know how her childhood was, or why she never shows any emotion other than happiness. I've known her for six goddamned years and I can't even tell you where she was born. Fuck I used to think those people who stuck around were pathetic but I stick around just to have some of her, knowing I can't have all of her. You can think that she loves you and she wants to be with you all you want but it's not going to happen." He looks like he's slightly dazed.
I can't say anything. I have no words. Should I believe him or should I follow my instincts?
"I understand that you and Kenna have a past and you're still good friends but this is the final time I will verbally ask you to respect our boundaries." with that being said I threw a fifty on the table and left. I had a lot to think about. He probably thinks that Kenna and I don't have anything special but I know it in my bones that we do.
Only a week and a half passed after my encounter with Sean. I have been avoiding Kenna like the plague. She has come by my house, my job, she even came by the gym but I hid in the men's locker room like a baby to avoid her. I needed time to process but I knew it wasn't right to shut her out without a warning or heads up. I will for sure give her a call tomorrow. My pocket pinged with a text message.
EMERGENCY I need help please.
It was from Dan. He never texts me with emergencies. I rush into my car speeding to Dan's place. I get there in record time seeing Dan's car haphazardly parked half in the grass with the other half on the concrete of the driveway. I park then sprint through the door.
"Dan are yo-'' I stop mid sentence because Kenna is standing there with her puppy dog brown eyes looking up at me with hurt.
"Axl you have some explaining to do." she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Wha? What?" I'm confused. My adrenaline still running on high alert from thinking Dan was in danger.
"Sit." she motioned to a chair that I'm just now noticing.
I take a seat now looking up at her.
"Axl, you came to see me three weeks ago but you left. You never answered my calls or my text messages and I am one hundred percent positive that you were avoiding me. May I ask why?" she looked genuinely hurt.
