Ate's Life Taes a Turn

I've written a lot of stories and most of you know what to expect. Just be aware that this story also includes some pansexual themes. If that and interracial aren't your thing then maybe this isn't for you.

Anyway I had a suggestion that I write a cuckold story and well I thought 'go big or go home!'

***

"That was really good. Thanks babe."

He felt his heart swell in his chest - it felt so good to see her happy, to know that she was enjoying her birthday. The moment was fleeting as such moments tend to be. The sweetness tainted by the knowledge that this could not go on. That he would soon lose her.

Kate looked heart-achingy lovely tonight. Just the faintest touch of make-up used to accentuate her natural beauty. Her long strawberry-blonde hair pulled back into a pony-tail, her cheeks a little pink from the heat of the restaurant. The classic peaches and cream complexion - a gift of her Scottish ancestry. He knew that it annoyed her - the fact that she burned instead of tanned - but he thought that she was perfection. Especially in times like this - when she was really happy. Her blue eyes sparkling with enthusiasm or mischief - or both.

She was amazing and he knew that he didn't deserve her. He already knew that tonight was going to be a disaster, just like so many nights had been over the past few months. He had used to think that things would change, improve, be different but he didn't even hope that any more. He knew how it would be. They would get home, kiss, go through all the preliminaries. She would give him one of her amazing blow-jobs and then...

Then it would be time to fuck. He'd undo the condom and put it on and it would happen. Maybe he'd last long enough to start but that was somehow worse. Losing his erection while fucking the girl of his dreams, of any red-blooded straight male with a pulse's dreams. Her disappointment, her frustration, his knowledge that they were one night closer to Kate going out and finding a man who didn't let her down.

She never said that of course. She was such a sweetheart. She said that it didn't matter, that things would get better, that they could get help. Little blue pills maybe.

What the fuck! He was only 24, a couple of years older than her. Why the fuck would he need pills to keep hard! When Kate was blowing him he was as hard as a rock. It was just when he put on the condom. It was as if a switch was flicked and his proud five inches became the limpest of limp noodles. It wasn't getting any better as time went on. Now just seeing a condom was enough to do it. One hundred to zero in under two seconds.

They had tried spicing things up. Playing sex games together - sharing their fantasies. It would all seem to be going great until it came time and then...

Kate looked like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. The poster-girl for a certain sort of corn-fed 'good girl'. That didn't tell the whole story. She was a very sexual being with her own fantasies and desires. He was amazed that she'd been this patient, had given him this long. Sooner or later she would cut her losses and leave. He couldn't blame her. Even tonight at least four guys had giver her 'the look'. You know the one. If she dumped him she'd be single only as long as she chose to be and not one second longer. She could take her pick and the chosen man would be one lucky bastard.

She had grown up in the country - in a large family. Once it was obvious she had good brains and wasn't going to be satisfied with marrying a farmer and keeping house she had sort of been cut loose. Her folks had done their job. Even raised the cash to beef up the scholarships she had won and which got her through college without too much debt. There were three more kids coming along behind her and he guessed her folks figured she could look after herself.

She'd been pretty new to the city when they'd met. He had only a couple of years more experience. However, they had got on real well. They suited each other, had the same sense of humour, the same interests in films, art, food. Not music but you couldn't have everything.

She had that delicious look of youthful innocence but looks can fool. Still waters really could run deep. Life on the farm might not have offered too many opportunities but the mind couldn't be so restricted. They'd shared (some) fantasies back in the day. He'd never forget the look on her face when she'd told him how attractive she thought a certain type of African-American was. She had radiated excitement at the very idea. It was obvious that this was something she would never act on. Something so out there that it was safe to talk about, even to joke about.

It was the same as that time when she told him about her and her female friend. They'd talked about paying off their student loans by maybe setting up as escorts. He could still remember her joy at the look on his face. Kate enjoyed being naughty. She'd confessed that they'd ultimately decided to settle for OnlyFans if a job hadn't come along by a certain date. As it happened a job had come along and her friend had moved cities soon after. He knew Kate and that particular friend had been a little more than just friends. There had perhaps been another girlfriend too, as well as a couple of boyfriends, before they had met.

So despite her looks Kate was no naive innocent She was pretty open-minded on these things. However, not open-minded enough that he could tell her all his fantasies.

He felt her hand on his. She was looking at him with a wonderful expression of warmth, of caring, of love.

"Tonight has been wonderful babe. You don't need to do anything else to make me happy. I just know tonight is going to be amazing because you are amazing."

She was taking the pressure off, being so generous and loving, but he knew that it was hopeless. Even though he was hard in his pants now, even though he found her the sexiest woman alive. As soon as that latex appeared he would be limp.

The internet is a wonderful thing. All that you could ask for and available pretty much then and there. Like porn. Lots of other things too, of course, but in this case we are talking about porn.

You know those thoughts and fantasies that aren't quite crystallised in your mind. The internet likely has just exactly what you were looking for if you search deeply enough. As your tastes refine or change the internet can give (or sell) you that too. Even if you come off the mainstream you can find the mainstream follows you after a while. Sometimes - but not always.

His fantasies never veered towards non-consent. He had never had a thing for that. Initially for him it was just seeing a girl he liked the look of in porn. Then he saw a group scene. Lots of hot guys together with one (or maybe two) girls. Then he saw a scene with lots of Black guys and a white girl. You all know how it works. Refining your tastes and then perhaps surprising you.

This video had a cute little redhead and a tall blonde. With five Black guys. He was stroking away quite happily at the redhead getting all the attention. Then one of the guys pulled up the blonde's skirt and revealed what looked like eight inches of hard dick. He could still remember the shock. The feeling that he should shut the scene down, that this was like gay stuff. But he didn't. His cock stayed hard in his hand and he couldn't take his eyes off the screen. Not when one of the guys sucked the Blonde's cock. Not when two of the Black guys started fucking each other. Not until the scene finished. Not until he had shot about the biggest load he had ever shot.

Such a great feeling - instantly followed by such confusion, shock and guilt. However, the seed had been sown. No matter how long he held out. In the end he had to go looking for more, the moth drawn back to the flame. He not only returned to trans and gay material but he begin to refine his desires there too.

Gay porn was exciting and enticingly taboo, from his perspective at least, but it had one thing in common with his own life. There were condoms in a lot of the gay porn he watched. He always used them because Kate had suffered a bad reaction to the pill. She hadn't been happy having to take it - had even tentatively said that having a baby wouldn't be so bad. You would have thought that he would have leapt at that suggestion but life is hardly that simple. They were both just starting out on their careers. A baby then would have been...

Condoms were annoying but no big deal. A necessary precaution. It was second-rate sex fucking the latex but it is who you are with that matters - right?

Except that no-one fantasized about a condom. He knew he liked the videos without condoms more - whoever was in them. Comments suggested he wasn't alone. Worse - they led him to sites with hundreds of stories and thousands of forum posts that proved it.

Reading all of those stories and posts had just reinforced what he had always really known. Condoms were not just an annoyance. In reality they were the ultimate in anti-sex. Once that idea got into his head it just wouldn't go away. No matter how much he tried to shut it out. Just seeing one of the damn things had its immediate effect. A strong erection reduced to impotence and no way back.

He had started to wonder about himself. He was watching and reading so much gay material. Anyone looking at this from outside of his head would just have assumed that he was gay himself. He wasn't, of course, but he had always had a bi side. Nothing major in reality. Just a little fantasy and then, in college, a little experimentation. A drink or too and then a kiss and a fumble. Bill Clinton wouldn't have called it sex at all. After all what was a mutual blow-job between friends? No big deal right - but still nothing he felt able to share with his girl.

Anyway now, at this birthday celebration meal for his beautiful fiancée, the pressure in his pants was truly reassuring, It owed nothing to any of the more extreme aspects of his sexuality. It was all down to Kate, her physical attractions and her even more beautiful personality. He was so happy and so very lucky to have her. Tonight he would not disappoint her.

"Shall we go," she said. "I guess we can get a cab but its always seemed strange to me. It would only be about ten minutes walk via the park."

He looked at her in surprise. They had never ventured into the park at night. It had never even been suggested. That park had a certain reputation. At least it did if you cruised certain message boards.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," he mumbled, "especially after dark."

She had that provokingly mischievous look on her face as she replied. "Come on - what's the matter? I'm not scared. I'll have my big strong man with me." She tut-tutted in mock disapproval. "You can't be scared can you?"

It really was not a good idea...

He couldn't pretend that he was the most macho guy. He might have been six feet tall but he didn't exactly look like a gym-rat. He wasn't scrawny but he had never been one for working out. He was just a young guy in his early twenties. He wasn't ex-military or trained in martial arts or any of that shit. He wasn't going to be employed as a bodyguard any time soon.

So he had insisted that they got a cab. Right? The thirty-minute cab ride round the park and over the bridge rather than the ten- or fifteen-minute walk through the park. He'd done that walk two or three times in daylight. No big deal. The city side of the park was well-maintained, the main paved trail wide and well-lit with the vegetation kept trimmed and cameras at regular intervals. There was some crime there, where wasn't there, but it was a pretty safe locale. Popular with the locals and young families from their edge of the city.

Popular in the daytime of course. In his 'researches' on the internet he'd always taken especial notice of anything happening in his state and especially in his city. He hadn't grown up around here and they'd only been living there under a year so he wasn't really up to speed on the reputations of local places.

The park figured prominently in 'field reports' on more than one site he cruised. If you were looking for no-strings, anonymous, casual gay sex then that park was apparently the place to be for the city and most of the state.

When he had read those reports his heart had pounded in his chest. The excitement of being so close to a place like that. Just of knowing that it was there - that men from culture within a culture were living their lives there, expressing themselves fully. It was an amazing thought!

It absolutely made sense when you thought about it. Anyone designing a cruising spot couldn't have done a much better job. The park formed an elongated triangle, the product of a disused piece of railroad, an abandoned mill and the wooded area around a little creek that gloried in the name of the Brownswill.

The city had come to surround the area but each of its three sides were different. On one was a prosperous area of homes, restaurants and nightlife. On another were the long sub-divided brownstone town houses where he and Kate rented their apartment. The third side beyond the Brownswill had been the last to be hemmed in. These were projects built in the fifties and sixties to house those kicked out of their communities by the coming of the inter-state.

The city's borders had moved out too - but only where there had been construction. The existing park and the surroundings were all in the city but that long finger of land between the official park and the projects had been left an orphan, the expense of maintenance shunned by either the city or the county. The creek ran there, through a thickly wooded area interspersed with marshy ground and by long-abandoned facilities.

Abandoned officially at least.

He knew that those areas were the ones that saw most business after night had fallen. Immediately by the projects it was mainly gang business, drugs and violence. This side of the Brownswill, beyond the lights and the cameras, that was where men came for sex. The scene of so many of the reports and the (fictional?) stories that he had read.

Land that no-one looked after, land that no-one seemed to care about, land that never saw Police patrols. Land that was very precious and very treasured by those that used it.

So, he could have answered Kate's question, 'no I am not scared. I am excited - just at the very idea of going down there. At the likelihood of what is happening over there - right now!'

That, of course, would only have raised more questions. So the smart thing, the responsible thing, was to maybe make a joke of the idea before making real sure that they took that cab home.

Sometimes people aren't smart or responsible. Sometimes an unlikely opportunity emerges and they can't resist taking it. However foolish they know that decision to be. He had fantasized about taking a look down there at night many times but he had always known that it would never happen. What would he have done? Reached for his jacket and kissed Kate goodbye with a cheery remark about going to the local gay cruising spot to see if he could spot a raw dogging? Maybe meet a local neighborhood barebacker in his natural environment? Not going to happen. Never going to happen.

He'd never imagined that the suggestion to venture down there would come from Kate herself. However, it now had and he was knocked off his equilibrium. Maybe he wasn't thinking straight or maybe he knew exactly what he was doing. He couldn't really say which was true. He didn't know himself.

It was very easy to make a case. Their route wasn't in the notorious part of the park. They need never step off the well-lit and camera-guarded trail. It was likely to be far more exciting in prospect than it would actually prove in reality. It wasn't as if he would actually see anything, let alone do anything.

"If you want to walk back that way then why not?" He tried to sound casual.

She gave him her beautiful smile - seemingly pleased to have won his concession.

A few minutes later they had paid the bill and left the restaurant. He felt his heart beat a little faster as they walked past a waiting cab and headed towards the park. He knew its reputation and he couldn't help wondering what might be happening at that very moment in its deepest, darkest, corners.

Once they had walked through the gates they continued on the broad paved well-lit track. It all seemed very vanilla but he knew that appearances could be deceptive. He felt his mouth go a little dry. Once or twice he felt, rather than saw, Kate glance at him as they walked. She knew him very well and she had sensed that something was up with him.

At some point she would ask him and then what was he going to say? He was still trying to think of something to defuse her suspicions when they saw the man.

Well off the path and beyond the well-kept area, just on the edges of the denser bushes there was a man. He had emerged a little to check them out but had then seen Kate. At that instant he had stepped back into the bushes.

Kate took a tighter hold on her boyfriend's arm. She asked, "Did you see that man? Do you think he was a mugger or something? I wouldn't want to be walking here alone."

Her boyfriend was pretty sure the man hadn't been a mugger. He had looked in his mid-thirties, sandy hair, the sort of guy you might see on Main Street in any Mid-Western town. He was here on quite a different mission.

Kate picked up their pace a little. She was ever more aware that there was something about this place. Turning a corner they saw a lone walker ahead of them. Again a man probably late twenties or early thirties. There was movement in the bushes ahead. Some sort of a signal. The man ahead of them cut off the path and into the bushes. They just saw two male figures meet and kiss and then they were gone. Deeper into the trees.

Kate's quick steps slowed now as she processed what she had seen. "Oh!" she suddenly said. He was relieved to hear that her tone was now more amusement than fear. "Did you know?"

"Know what?" He said and knew, even as he said it, how stupid and duplicitous he sounded. Truth was he would never have made a good lawyer or a successful politician.

She gripped his arm a little tighter. "You know what I mean. That this is a hook-up place for gay guys. Did you know?"

"I'd heard rumours. Do you want to go back and get a cab?"

"Of course not. Hey - each to their own. I'm sure they aren't paying any attention to us - well not to me at least." She laughed softly to herself at that.

As they walked on they noticed more traces of activity now that they were both looking for them. They would see a light every now and then in the otherwise dark trees, sometimes from a phone or flashlight and sometimes from a lit cigarette. Otherwise the occupants seemed to be relying on the moonlight. Where the grass was longer you could see trails where someone had passed. People that knew this park and the land around it like the back of their hands and didn't need light to navigate. Occasionally they would see shadowy figures, single or in pairs, moving through the woods.

"It's kinda hot isn't it," giggled Kate, "knowing what's going on in those trees."

She had no idea. He had seen enough field reports and read enough stories. He knew just what was going on. There was a lot of man-on-man sex going on. That might have startled a preacher or two but not Kate. There was a lot of activity going on in the shadows and he only knew that his cock was as hard as it had ever been. He wondered about the men they had seen. Were those men just here to hook up or were they here to fulfil a more primal need? The need to breed and be bred.

"Is something wrong babe?"

Kate's voice snapped him back to his senses. Pulled him away from his visions of flesh meeting flesh, raw sex in the moonlight unpolluted by any bastard fucking condoms. Latex-free and guilt-free. Men who had taken their lives into their own hands, accepted who they were and what they needed to do.