Just Getting Started

"I know how to do it!" Jaden spat at Tristan.

He slowly backed off "Babe I was only trying to help." he said

"OK great, but I have it." came her moody reply.

Tristan backed out of the kitchen, he was only trying to help her open a can of tomato sauce.

He assumed all the problems with Alicia and Dan had her in a mood. But she was really getting irritated all the time over nothing and he had to wonder if something more was going on.

****

She wanted to go apologize, feeling guilty for blowing up at him again over nothing. But it was like she didn't have control over her emotions. She was becoming increasingly moody.

Which was a problem not only socially, but because half her job was interacting with people. As her moods became more out of whack, so did her body. She started to put on weight, which only added to the emotional stress she felt she could not over come.

Then it struck her, maybe I'm pregnant? She sat at the table and realized that might be the reason.

'I'm not ready.' she thought. Jaden had her five year plan and it did not include having a baby.

'What am I going to do?'. After work stopped at the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. Then hurried home to test the results. After 10 agonizing minutes her suspicions were confirmed. She was pregnant.

****

Tristan didn't know what to think. He sat in his cubicle wondering why she was acting so different.

Why was she so moody? Why she wasn't his loving girlfriend? He wondered if she was growing tired of their relationship?

She was not known to have ever been in a real relation with a man. Choosing to go threw one guy after another. Maybe his time was up? He'd just have to wait and see.

****

Jaden sat in her room crying. There was a slight knock at the door and she hurriedly tried to pull herself together. "Come in." she whispered.

It was Alicia, "Hey, are you ok? I thought I heard you crying." she said.

"I was, it's not important, you know work and stuff. But come in, do you want to talk about anything going on with you?"

"Well I got a call from Dan today. I didn't answer or anything he left me a message, but I haven't listened to it. It's been five months already you'd think I'd be over it already."

"Life isn't like that Alicia, and you know that, it's hard to walk away from someone you love even if it's for your own good.

And I think you don't need to talk to Dan, but you do need to talk to Marcia. That girl calls me all the time to ask about you. It's not her fault what happened you know?" Jaden whispered.

"I know, I know, you don't have to always tell me that! You're my friend though and I don't want her calling you! She has my boyfriend isn't that enough, does she need my best friend too!"

"You know I'll always be there for you, but she did have him first. It's his fault for not telling you. Men are so selfish when they want a--"

"When they want what?" Alicia nearly screamed.

"When they want what?, a piece of ass?"

"No Alicia, I was not going to say that, I'm under a lot of stress right now and I wanted to find the right words to comfort you like, a part-time girl, a girl who will take care of them, or a girl that loves him enough to not leave him.

I take so much time trying to not hurt your feelings, but it's clear you have no problems hurting mine. Get out of my room and good luck!".

By the time Jaden was done she was screaming at the top of her lungs. Alicia backed out scarred and confused by her sudden outburst. They had disagreed many times, but Jay never acted like this about it.

****

Jaden went back to crying. Something had to be done, but what? She had to tell Tristan, but what if he wanted to keep the baby.

Of course he would want to keep the baby. But that didn't affect him, if he quit his job he'd still have mommy dearest, but she couldn't quit her job. They needed someone full time. But maybe they could find any graduate student to take her place.

Maybe she should get the abortion and never mention it. If he never knew it would never hurt him.

****

Tristan arrived home early, he went straight to Jaden's room. He knocked lightly on the door.

"Yes," came the dull reply.

"Hey J, it's me." he said trying to sound happy.

"Oh, hi baby, come in!"

Once inside she flung her arms around him. It took him by surprise because it had been a while since she had been so happy to see him.

"Hi baby, how was your day?" Tristan tried to sound excited.

"I don't want to talk about it, more drama with Alicia."

He just looked at her. She was so beautiful, she sat in a t-shirt and boy shirts. It had been a couple weeks since they had had sex, and he was starting to feel the strain. But he was here to talk, he couldn't let his need get the best of him.

'Down boy,' he thought to himself. "Jay, has something been bothering you, I mean other than Alicia and Dan?"

What was she going to say? She couldn't outright lie to him, but she didn't know how to be honest. What she wanted was going to cause a fight, but I guess it didn't matter because they were fighting all the time now anyway.

"Actually there is, and I didn't know how to tell you this, but...."

"You want to move in alone together?" he rushed, suddenly realizing how annoyed she was living with Alicia.

She was taken aback. Sure she had thought about it, but she wasn't sure he was ready to take that step. "How do you feel about that?" she asked timidly.

"I think it's a great idea Jay."

"Really, Oh my God T. really?" she was so excited she forgot about her real problem.

"Yeah, I would love to have a place with just you, not worry about how loud you are when we make love, not worry about locking doors after we enter the bedroom cause someone might just walk in. To have you stripped naked every time you walked threw the front door, so I can enjoy your luscious body whenever I want, wherever I want.

He started to pull her t-shirt over her head. She was in a daze and let him. He bent down to softly suckle her nipple into his mouth. He turned his icy grey eyes toward her, and now she could only think of pleasing him. Of him pleasing her.

"Baby, please we have to stop." she pulled his head from her needy breast to look him in the eyes.

"What's wrong?" he whispered.

"I have to tell you something. I wasn't going to before, but now I know that there is a future for us you should know." she was panting.

She wasn't sure how he would react but she took a deep breath and finally said it. "I am pregnant! I don't know how you feel about that, we are both very young and in the middle of building our careers and I don't know how this can turn out I want.......

Tristan put his finger to her lips to quite her. He knew she would ramble when she was nervous. "Jay, I don't want to lose a child. Children are the most important thing to me, but I know you don't like kids."

Jaden started to cry, "T. I don't know what I want, I just thought you would want children so badly that it would be hard to have an abortion, but now that I know I'm pregnant I don't know, I don't want to kill our baby. But my career will be ruined. I'm just starting out and taking leave will not look good for me. But I love what we have and I need to know what's more important?"

"Us, our family should be, but I can't ask you to give up what you have been enduring for the last few years. You already know what I want, what do you really want? I promise to try to understand."

Tristan was heartbroken she would decide between their child and a job, but he loved her. Or at least he wanted to. He was not sure he could if she killed their child, but he had to let her decide, after all it was her body.