Joy Pain and All Between

Hey guys. I think…no I know that there's gonna be one more chapter after this one. Time to wrap this baby up!! :) **lilmami07**

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He'd tried to call her later that night, but she wouldn't answer. He'd texted her countless times, but she wouldn't reply. She ignored him at school. He stopped by her apartment a few times, but Lacey would give him a sad smile and tell him Skyler was either busy or not home. He knew she was lying. He'd even heard Skyler yell, "I'm not here" a few times. It would've been funny in any other situation. He was miserable without her.

Any other time, he would have just found a new chick to have fun with, but he couldn't. He had to keep busy to keep his mind off of her, but he hadn't changed his sheets, just so he could smell her when he went to bed.

As he promised Savannah, he went home more often to see his family. They'd ask about Skyler, and he'd say she was fine and quickly change the subject.

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School was kicking Skyler's ass. She knew that after Thanksgiving break, the pressure would be on. Thanksgiving was…different to say the least. She hadn't spoken to Joel since that night, and her mother since the day in the café. She had told her dad about what had happened, and she'd ended up spending most of her Thanksgiving break with him, Melanie, and her half-brother and sister Ana and Aubrey. The two had grown since she'd seen them last, at her father's birthday months ago.

Ana and Aubrey sat beside each other at the dinner table whispering, joking, and playing with their food. Her father and stepmother engaged in conversation, in which she was included. This was a lot different from dinner with her mother, which consisted of the two at the small kitchen table, eating in silence. Skyler smiled as she watched her 6 year-old brother and 4 year-old sister communicate with one another. Kids just seemed to amaze her. They were so cute, innocent, and youthful, with their curly black hair and child minds.

After dinner, Skyler had volunteered to help Melanie out with the dishes, while her father took the kids out into the living room to watch television.

"So…tell me more about this guy." Melanie was beautiful, both inside and out. Not only was she a great mother, stepmother, and wife, but she was also a good friend. Skyler felt she could be herself and talk about anything with her. She was understanding, rational, and friendly.

"His name is Joel" Skyler said drying the wet dishes.

"Joel, huh? And?"

Skyler didn't feel like getting into details about it. "He fucked his ex. The end."

"What?!?"

"Yep."

"Wha--. How? Huh?"

"It's a very long story Melanie."

"I'm here for you Skyler. Talk to me." Skyler sighed.

"Well…" Skyler ended up telling Melanie everything that happened. Everything.

"Have you guys talked about it?"

"Nope. He's called and came by, but I don't feel the need to talk to him about anything. What's done is done."

"I think you love him."

"What?"

"You. Love. Him. I can tell by the way you talk about him." Skyler sighed. "I know that's not what you want to hear, but baby, sometimes we have to forgive. You guys are so young. You're going to make mistakes. Hell, I'm 40 and I make mistakes. I know its gonna take some time, but maybe…"

"Hey Skyler!! Melanie!! 'Happy Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown' is coming on!" her father yelled out from the living room, as she heard her siblings cheer and laugh.

"Think about it" whispered Melanie as she went to join her husband on the couch. Skyler settled between Ana and Aubrey on the floor.

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Joel's mom had told him to invite Skyler. "I don't think she's gonna be able to make it. She does have a family, you know." he added agitatedly.

"I'm sorry."

Everything about the dinner seemed so awkward. His mother had been dating some man named Thomas, who he'd just recently found out about, despite the months they'd been together, and invited him to Thanksgiving dinner. Savannah sat beside him humming, and James and his girlfriend Autumn sat across from him, holding hands and stealing glances at one another. He needed Skyler beside him.

"So, Joel, how's school?" Thomas asked.

"Fine."

"You know your mother talks about you a lot."

"Funny. She never mentioned you 'til recently." Thomas and Joel's mother stared at each other. Thomas cleared his throat and continued.

"So, who's this Skyler we keep hearing so much about? Are you two serious?"

"Damn. Why are you asking so many questions? Can't we just eat?" he asked heatedly. Everyone looked around at each other. Everything got quiet. Except for Savannah, who continued humming. "Savannah will you shut the hell up!?" he barked angrily.

"Joel!" his mother scolded.

"You know what, Mom? I'm done."

Joel escaped to his old bedroom to blow off some steam and think, and especially to get away from Thomas and his mother.

"How come nobody told me he was coming?" he asked not even looking up. He figured it was James entering the room. "You knew he was coming."

"Yea I did."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Mom wanted to wait. What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal? He's sitting out there like he's the fucking man of the house, grilling me and shit."

"It wasn't like that and you know it. He's a cool guy."

"I wouldn't give a fuck if he was made of ice, Jim. Who the hell does he think he is?" he asked pacing back and forth.

"Man, what's this really about?"

"It's about that mother fucker out there sitting all comfy and shit like he's part of the family."

"You know what I think? I don't think this has anything to do with why you're so ticked. This is about Skyler."

Joel stared at his brother. "What?"

"You heard me. Tell me I'm wrong."

Joel didn't say anything.

"Dude, you fucked up. Accept it. Can you blame her for being pissed at you? I mean really. You face fucked a girl she can't stand."

"Damn, thanks man. That helps me a lot. I should come to you with all my problems."

"Sorry, but the truth hurts. And I really wish I could help you, but I don't know what else to tell you, bro."

As if on cue, they heard a light knock on the door. Autumn peeked in and asked was everything all right.

"Everything's peachy, Autumn. Just peachy, thanks for asking" Joel quipped.

"Hey man, don't get mad at her" James said lightly punching his brother's arm. "This is your fault."

"I just came in here to get you, James. Your mom wants to speak with you," she said softly, disregarding Joel's foul mood. James left the room, leaving Joel and Autumn in an aura of awkwardness.

Autumn studied Joel. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head lowered, resting in his hands. She liked Joel. He was funny and always teased her about becoming a member of the family one day. It amazed her how much both he and James resembled each other, but were two polar opposite people entirely on the inside. Or at least, that's what Joel wanted everyone to believe. She knew that underneath that cool, playboy exterior he was a big softy, just like James. He just had to have the right person bring it out of him. She hated to see him like this. So angry and upset. She looked down at her boot-clad feet to gather her thoughts, trying to find the right words to say to him.

Joel looked up at Autumn. She looked like she wanted to say something, but was too afraid to. He had always liked Autumn. Her and his brother just seemed to fit. She was bubbly and cute, and made James happy.

"Joel?"

"Yes, Autumn?"

"Umm… James told me about what happened between you and your girlfriend." Joel let out an audible, exaggerated sigh.

"Of course he did. He seems to tell you everything about everything."

"Don't be mad at him, Joel. Look, I'm sorry. And this is coming from a girl who's been hurt in the past before. And I don't know her that well, but I think that if you tried hard enough, you could win her back. You really are a great guy deep, deep,

deep

down" she joked.

"Thanks, Autumn" he chuckled. "But I doubt it. Thanks for your kind words of wisdom though."

"I'm serious, Joel."

"And what is it that you think I should do, Dr. Autumn Reeves?"

"Well…you can start by dropping the sarcasm, Mr. Walker. Secondly, you should just be honest with her. Tell her the truth and don't dance around the subject. Girls like honesty."

"Okay. Is there anything else?"

"Yes. Apologize. And I'm talking a sincere apology."

"That's a given."

"And grovel."

"Sure will."

"You know what? For you to want your girlfriend back, you sure aren't acting like it right now." He sighed again.

"I'm sorry, Autumn. This all is just so frustrating."

"Don't apologize to me, Joel. Apologize to her."

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Skyler wracked her brain trying to study for her exams. She kept getting sidetracked thinking about what happened that night. She'd never felt so hurt. Betrayed. Stupid. But as much as she hated him, she missed him. Despite the fact that he'd cheated on her, she still missed being around him. His touch. His laugh. But as much as she missed him, she despised him at the same time. She confused herself.

She'd done something that shocked even herself that night. When Joel reached out and touched her, she fell apart. She felt so fragile. She cried like the big ass baby she was, but tried to hide. She felt like throwing up as she slumped down to the floor in front of him. Her mind was telling her to get up, suck it up, and stop crying. Not to let him see her like that. But she couldn't. It hurt.

Joel stood there and watched her helpless. He'd never seen her cry, and knowing he was the source of those tears hurt like hell. He tried to comfort her, but she slapped his hand away. Hard. He watched her until she grew quiet. Her silence scared him.

"Skyler?"

She said nothing. She got up and walked out.

She was over it now. Or so she told herself. But one thing he had told her struck home. She needed to keep her anger under wraps. She'd started after their argument that day, and now she'd been working extra hard on it. She didn't want it to cost her anymore relationships. She took a few anger management courses and learned how to control and release her anger. Most people took up boxing and other things, but she began drawing again. She hadn't done it in years. It helped take her mind off of all the things that angered and stressed her out. Even Brittani. She no longer felt the need to rip her apart. The topic came up when Lacey came home one day. "She's just a catty bitch and you don't have time for that. You've come too far" she said while icing bloody knuckles. Skyler didn't have to ask.

A few weeks after Thanksgiving, she'd called up her mother. They met and cried over apologies. She was her mother after all. The only one she'd ever have.

"Don't apologize, baby. I was wrong. You're my child and I should have never said those things to you." They'd even discussed Joel. "I can tell you love him, because you stuck your foot out for him." Skyler didn't tell her mother that they had broken up. She was so caught up in the loving feeling she was sharing with her mom, she didn't want to ruin it and have her say "I told you so."

Lacey and Gaelan interrupted her reminiscence. They came back from a movie, laughing and happy like the giddy couple they were. Skyler loved Lacey and Gaelan, and was happy for them, but seeing them together sickened her a little. Maybe it was jealousy. Maybe it was because she could always hear them having sex, and they didn't seem to care.

"Hey Doodle" Lacey said playfully kissing her on the cheek.

"Eww!! Don't ever do that again in front of company. They may think we have something going on" Skyler joked.

"Well Gaelan here knows I'm strictly dickly. As a matter fact, I think I'm gonna go prove it to him now" she said staring up at Gaelan as he gave a goofy, knowing, sideways grin.

"Double eww!! Can you two try to keep it down this time? I'm trying to study here."

"We'll try, kiddo, but I ain't making any promises. This man is wild when it comes to--"

"Bye Lace" Skyler interrupted. "Just go. I don't wanna hear it."

Lacey and Gaelan made their way down the hall as Skyler tried to get back to studying. She had to concentrate. She had a big week coming up with finals. She found it a little difficult to concentrate though, when all she could hear were loud grunts and other strange noises coming from Lacey's room. She sighed loudly and shut her book and notebook, and gathered her note cards. She was ready anyway. She walked into her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

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Exams were finally out of the way and she was so relieved. She'd been uneasy about the Spanish one, but she felt she'd done well. Of course, Joel had been one of the first one's to finish his exam, but instead of leaving when he was done, he settled back in his seat behind her. Just his presence unnerved and disgusted her, but she refused to let him get to her. She concentrated on her exam and soon finished. She turned it in and thanked Professor Sanders for everything.

"No need to thank me Senorita Henley. Thank Señor Walker." She turned around to see Joel slowly walking towards her.

"Skyler…" he started.

She turned back around and gave Professor Sanders a smile and quick hug before quickly exiting the classroom, dismissing Joel's presence.

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Skyler insisted on enjoying these few school-free weeks. Her and Lacey hanged out a lot, and when they weren't, she'd either be working or doing a little Christmas shopping. That day, she hit a sale at JC Penny's before deciding to escape the harsh winter weather. She really had to get a new coat, because the black biker one wasn't cutting it in this weather. When she finally got home, she heard Lacey and a male voice laughing in the kitchen area. She assumed it was Gaelan. She was oh so mistaken.

Joel.

Good thing she had learned to keep her anger in check, or else she would have blew up on Lacey and Joel. Why the fuck was he in her house?

"I uhh… have to go" Lacey started. "I'm gonna let you two… talk" she said grabbing her coat, as Skyler's angered eyes followed her every movement, giving her a 'your ass is mine when you get back' look.

"Skyler, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I have something to say." This seemed eerily familiar to back when Lacey had let Mikeal in their apartment and he wanted to "talk". Skyler moved around him to put her shopping bags on the counter.

"You fucked her. There's really nothing to talk about" she said bluntly. That was the most she'd said to him in over a month.

"Well technically I didn't" he tried to reason, without coming off like a total ass.

"Then tell me, Joel. What exactly happened?" she asked while walking over to him coolly.

"I don't want to get into details, and I know this isn't an excuse or anything, but I was kind of drunk. "

"Wow. That's a surprise. You kinda have a knack for fucking drunk girls huh?"

Any other time, Joel would have been pissed, but he knew she was upset. "No, I don't.

She

wasn't drunk and I didn't fuck her. She started telling me a lot of shit, and any other time I would've told her to fuck off…"

"Yea right" she scoffed. "You? Turning down a girl?"

"Skyler I know you're mad at me right now. Hell, you probably hate me, but please, just trust me."

"Me? Trust you? Ha!"

"Skyler, I'm sorry. Please." Skyler fell silent. She listened as he talked some more, apologizing and trying to reason with her. Eventually, his words were drowned out by her own.

How could he do that to me? I would have never done that to him. I thought he cared about me.

"Skyler, baby. Please" she heard him say.

Skyler stared at him. Hell, who was she fooling? She missed him just as much as he missed her, if not more. But part of her still couldn't let go of what he did to her. He could beg, he could plead, but nothing would ever take back what he did to her. She felt herself give in. "Why Joel?" she asked quietly. She wasn't even sure he'd heard her.

" I was upset. I know I had no reason to be. I should have just listened to you vent, and been a good boyfriend to you. You were right. I shouldn't have flipped out on you. You were upset. I was just trying to… I don't know, Skyler. I let myself do some stupid shit. I'll do whatever it takes, Skyler. Please." He grabbed her hands and continued. "I know I fucked up, royally. But I swear if you just give me another chance, I'll never do it again."

Skyler didn't know what came over her, and she really didn't care at the moment. She just wanted to be close to him again, if only for a while.

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Joel carried her into her lowly-lit room, mostly due to the Little Mermaid night light she had plugged in the outlet. He gently laid her down on the bed, as if she had a sign 'fragile, handle with care' stamped on her forehead. They stared at each other for moments, and kissed for several more, before he started to discard both him and her of their clothing.

He was eager, given he hadn't had sex in almost two months, but he didn't want to rush it either. This battle within him lasted a few moments until he heard Skyler speak.

"Just put it, Joel."

And he did.

He plunged into her sweet center over and over, causing soft cries and moans to escape her slightly parted lips. They stared into each other's eyes the whole time. It seemed to intensify the situation, and he said words he'd never thought he'd say.

"I love you, Skyler" he said between thrusts. She was taken back by that, but her gaze never lingered. He meant it. She wanted to say it too. Why hold back now?

"I uhh… I…" she started. "I'm cumming!!" He felt her climax fast approaching. Her walls clenched and she began to quiver. He came soon after, releasing wave after wave of hot semen into her tender core.

Moments later he kissed her flushed cheek and swollen lips, and rolled off of her. He went to spoon her, but she slowly got up from the bed before grabbing her robe, wrapping herself in it. "I think you should go, Joel" she said quietly.

"What?" he asked confused. "Go? What do you mean? Skyler, I don't--"

"I'm sorry, Joel." She couldn't look at him. She picked at the imaginary lint on her terrycloth robe. He nodded as if he understood, dressed, and headed for the door.

"My mom wants you to stop by for Christmas, that's if you want or have time, I mean." He didn't wait around for an answer. He didn't want to be rejected by her again. Instead he left, hurt and confused.

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"Doodle, everybody fucks up. Believe me. Perfect example here. I messed up big time with Gaelan. I didn't think he'd ever forgive me, but that delicious man found it in his heart to do so. And now, I'll tell anybody that I'll never make that same mistake again."

Skyler was listening to Lacey, but she was scared. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go through it again with him. She loved him, and she'd finally come to terms with that, but just because you love someone, doesn't mean you have to be with them. "It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all" she said sadly.

"Bullshit" Lacey said, slamming her hand down on the coffee table. "That's some lame ass line someone came up with. It's a lie. I say, it's better to love and be with that motherfucker than to lose him, and wonder if you made a huge mistake for not working through it. Joel fucked up. Massively. And any other guy, I'd probably try to fuck him up. But, he's a really nice guy. We've talked and he's explained himself. What he did was wrong, and I'm not trying to sugarcoat it, but you want to be with him. I know you do. You love him."