Joy Pain and All Between

9:30.

The alarm clock buzzed loudly, interrupting Skyler's sleep. She awoke, sat up, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Yay. Thursday. More school" she said mockingly to no one in particular. She got up and went about her morning routine: shower, brush teeth while in shower, dress, eat. Skyler really had to get her ass in gear if she wanted to maintain her 3.5 GPA. She had been doing fairly well in all her classes so far. That was all except Spanish. But after her 'conference' with Professor Sanders, she felt better. Maybe she had misread him. He said that he would help her and she was going to hold him to his word. At 10:15, she was out the door to her 11:00 Spanish class. Today, she was going to turn over a new, happy, leaf.

"I talked to Mr. Walker yesterday morning" Mr. Sanders said to Skyler. She had arrived and decided to visit his office. "He said that he had a very busy schedule, and wasn't sure if he could fit you in. I could sense a little...hesitation in his voice. I can't blame him, given your little outburst the other day."

Skyler looked down at her hands. She had acted so out of character the day before. She was stressed out on top of being tired of being called out in class.

"But...he said he would think about it."

Skyler looked up at him. He tried, so maybe Sanders wasn't all that bad.

"That's all I can ask of him, Miss Henley. The rest is up to him."

"I know. Thank you, Mr. Satan—I mean...Sanders."

"Satan? Is that what you think of me?" he asked with a smile.

"No sir. I mean...not anymore. At first I did, but you're kinda cool now. And I'm sorry about my attitude the other day. I apologize."

"No worries, Miss Henley. You aren't the first student to be upset with me, and probably won't be the last." With that, he looked back down at the stack of papers. "And judging by your quiz score, you need all the help you can get" he said without looking up.

"Yea. Umm...Mr. Sanders, who exactly

is

Joel Walker?"

"The young man that sits in the seat behind you."

"O...kay. I know who you're talking about." She had

no

idea who he was talking about.

"Let's go, Miss Henley. Class will be starting soon."

They made the walk down the hall from his office to the classroom.

"Mr. Sanders, I want to know. What exactly did I make on the quiz?"

"27" he said without missing a beat.

"Wow."

"Yea. Wow. But hey, you got the 'me gusta' part right." They both laughed and walked into the classroom.

****::::::::****:::::::::****

Skyler was taking her notebook and book from her "Little Mermaid" bag when she noticed someone walk past her and settle in the seat behind her. After she got settled she had a silent debate with herself, deciding whether to turn around and introduce herself to him or not. Curiosity got the best of her, and she slowly turned around in her seat.

She faced Joel to find him staring a some Spanish notes, oblivious to the attention she was giving him. She silently studied him. She didn't understand how she hadn't noticed him before. He was...beautiful. Not in a gay or metro dude sort of way. But in a manly beautiful way. His feather-like blond locks fell over his eyes. Her eyes followed the contours of his nose—straight....crook, but beautiful crook...straight...slightly flared nostril. They then lowered to his lips: pink, pouty, top lip with the cutest cupid's bow. Her gaze then lifted to his eyes. Deep ocean blue and large, that seemed aware to everything...and staring right back at her.

****::::::::****:::::::::****

Joel felt the heat from her staring at him. He flared his nostrils, frustrated. The same way he had been when Professor Sanders proposed he help Skyler he was reluctant and very unwilling.

"Umm...Sanders...look...you know...I'm kinda busy" he stammered out. He only stammered when he was lying.

"Joel. It's her last hope. She sounded like she really wanted help and I actually believe her. Can you do this for her, Joel?"

"Sander. Did you not see that little show she put on in class the other day? 'Cause I surely did."

"Yes, but we have this...understanding now."

"Really? Well, I don't and I'm not into temper tantrums and hissy fits. My little sister's bad enough."

"There won't be any of that, Joel. I guarantee." Joel sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Look. Just go home and think about it, okay?"

"Yea" Joel grabbed his bag and walked towards the door. "sure thing."

Now he felt her eyes surveying him. He slowly looked up to find her eyes locked on his lips. Then he watched her gaze move upward to meet the gaze of his own.

****::::::::****:::::::::****

"Shit. I mean. Hi. I'm Skyler."

Great now he's gonna think you're really a retard.

Joel stared at her wearing a blank face. "Yea. I know." He looked back down at his notes.

"Yea."

Awkward

. Skyler took that as her cue and turned back around in her seat.

Before long, class was up and rolling. Skyler was trying her damnest to pay attention, but she found herself zoning out again, and again, and again.

Why did he look at me like that? Like he was mad or disgusted with me. And what's with that attitude? All snappy and shit. How rude. And...sexy?

Skyler shook her head in disbelief of the thoughts forming up there. Just two days before, Mikeal was practically throwing her out of his bedroom, his house, his life. And now she's fantasizing about...some white guy. Wow. What would her mom say about this?

"Miss Henley?"

"Huh?" Skyler looked up to find all eyes on her. And laughter. Again.

"Are you alright? You were shaking your head like you didn't understand." Professor Sanders said, sounding slightly concerned.

"Yea. Im okay. Could you repeat what you just said? I didn't catch that."

Nice save, Skyler.

"Of course. I said that if your noun is masculine, the adjective describing it had to be masculine. And as so for feminine nouns. They have feminine adjectives describing them. It's called adjective agreement."

"Adjective agreement. Got it. Thanks." Skyler actually understood what he was talking about. Maybe if she paid attention in class and put more effort in her work, she could pull through. She would have to do her damnest since Joel didn't want to have anything to do with her.

As soon as Mr. Sanders dismissed class, students started filing out. Skyler started gathering her thing and packed up. She remembered her keys this time. No way she would forget this time. When she stood, she accidentally bumped into something hard.

Damn desk,

she thought. She turned around to find Joel towering over her. He was a lot taller than she thought. He had at least a whole foot over her 5'2" frame. He was also more solid than she had made him out to be, she thought as she let her eyes linger on his chest. She looked up to find him looking down at her, amused.

"If you're still interested in getting a tutor, I can help you."

"Okay" she said wide-eyed. She just stood there. Staring.

"Ummm...so do you need my number?" he asked.

"Uh, yea. I'm sorry."

Sorry I'm such a nimrod.

"What is it?"

"Give me your phone." He softly commanded. She stared at his outstretched hand for a moment before handing it to him. He dialed his number and seconds later she noticed his left pocket light up. Her attention followed and shifted left a 'wee' bit towards the left and landed in the middle of his pants. She heard him clear his throat.

Shit. Did he just catch me staring at his crotch?

She quickly looked up to find him staring at her with a slight glint in his eyes.

That answers my question.

"You want it?"

"Huh? Want what?"

"Your phone." He was holding out her phone to her with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Yea. Thanks." He gave her a stiff nod and with that she grabbed her things and quickly left the room.

****::::::::****:::::::::****

"Hey, Baby" Skyler said to her yellow Mustang. "I've missed you." Once she was inside and comfortable she checked her messages.

You have three new messages

Message one: Hey Doodle. What are you doing after class? I think we should go out later on tonight. I get off at 5, so let me know. "Lacey."

Message two: Hey babe. Look, I'm sorry...for everything. I didn't mean it. Call me, okay?Skyler laughed. "Nope."

Message three: Hey, baby girl. You act like you don't know your mama anymore. I'm just calling to check on you. Ain't heard from you in a while. Give me a ring. I love you.

Skyler felt bad. She hadn't seen on talked to her mother in over a week. She loved her mother, but she felt it was best if she didn't see her mom that often. Things would be going great until the topic of her father came up. Skyler's parents married young. They were fresh out of high school and parents to a baby girl. They divorced nine short years later. The only reason they were together that long was for Skyler's sake. Skyler wished they had divorced sooner. Yes, she was upset that she wouldn't have both parents living together like the other kids at school, but she was sure that when the other kids' parents got mad at each other, they didn't throw wine glasses at one another. She was sure that other kids' parents didn't get into physical altercations on a daily basis. She was sure as hell that the other kids' parents didn't leave for weeks at a time before coming back. Yes, they were better apart than together. Skyler was so young, and it all was a constant headache. Skyler always secretly blamed her parents for her own relationship misfortunes. If she had better role models and examples, she would be a better person.

Skyler's father remarried when she was 13. Her new step mom's name was Melanie. Skyler grew to love Melanie. Melanie and Skyler's father had the ideal relationship. It consisted of all the essentials: love, trust, friendship, and passion. There was only one problem: Melanie was white. Skyler's mom was dead-set against the relationship and forbade her to be around her. She saw her dad as less as possible, up until the day she turned 18. Then she took it upon herself to make up for lost time and saw him countless occasions. That's what put the strain on Skyler and her mother's relationship. Her rebellion.

Skyler decided to put all of that in the past and pay her mom a cordial visit.

"So how's life treating my baby?" Skyler embraced her mother in a warm hug.

"I'm okay, mama. A little stressed out, but other than that I'm good" Skyler said with a plastic smile.

"Stressed out? About what?"

"You know. School is tough, but I'm hangin in there. Work. Their working me real hard at the restaurant."

"And that boy. What about him?" her mother asked with a stern voice. Skyler's mother wasn't too fond of Mikeal. He was the byproduct of an interracial relationship. His mother was black and his father was Italian. Her mother strongly disapproved of her relationship from the get-go. She had said that he wasn't black enough.

"We broke up, mama."

"I told you. I told you, didn't I?" her mother stood and shook her head in disgust. "It was something about that boy I didn't like. I told you not to trust him. I don't see why you didn't go for a black man anyway. Not some...some mulatto boy."

"Mama he's black and Italian. Mulatto is black and white."

"Same thing, Miss Sassy!"

"I'm sorry, mama." Skyler stood and tried to bite her tongue to hold back what she was thinking. "Look, I gotta go."

"You don't have to rush and leave."

" I know, but I'm going out with Lace later so..." she kissed her mom on the forehead and headed to the door. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Umm hmm. Don't let it be so long 'for you come back, okay?"

"Alright. Bye."

Skyler stood outside leaned against the door and tried to regain her composure. That's exactly why she shied away from seeing her mother as much as she could.

****::::::::****:::::::::****

"Come on, Doodle. You know how packed that place can get!" Lacey shouted from their living room.

"Hold on Lace, I'm almost ready" Skyler cried from the bathroom.

She was wearing her yellow and black flannel shirt, black skinny jeans, her yellow high tip converses, and black leather jacket. She'd even taken the time to curl her hair and apply lipstick. She looked good. She felt good.

"Damn, I see what took you so long. You in there getting all dolled-up and whatnot. With your 'fuck me' lipstick on."

"Shut up, Lace" Skyler chuckled. "You gonna stand there and look at me all night, or are we leaving?"

****::::::::****:::::::::****

"So did you call him back?"

Skyler took her eyes off the road and looked at her best friend. "No. I don't think I should."

"You know what I think? I think he's an asshole. Pissed 'cause you didn't want to give up the booty? He doesn't deserve you, Doodle."

Lacey had given Skyler that nickname when they met freshman year of high school. Skyler loved to draw, and doodled on her paper while they were supposed to be taking notes. The name stuck, and since then, so did they. They were inseparable and did everything together. They had sleepovers and they went to senior prom, together. They decided to go to the same college: University of Chapel Hill. They got their first tattoos together: dragonflies. It was Skyler's idea, and it took a hell of a lot of persuading to get Lacey to go along with it. She remembered Lacey saying, 'Unh unh. I don't do needles. I'll go with you for moral support though.' Skyler got a dragonfly on her right wrist leaving a trail of stars up her forearm. Once Lacey saw it she said 'what the hell, why not?' She got one on her ankle. It was a dragonfly resting on a pink daisy. There was meaning behind there tattoos: one, it was a symbol of their friendship. Two, the dragonflies stand for their wild and free spirits.

"Let's just add him on the lengthy list of losers you've dated. Let's see...there was Derrick our junior year of high school. Who knew he would turn out to be so...sooo..."

"Gay?" Skyler added while laughing.

"Yea, gay. Then there was Lamar and his angry ass. They boy got some demons he need to deal with. Hmm...Elliott thought he was gonna be the next 50 Cent. Somebody should of told that boy he had no flow, what-so-ever." Both the girls burst out in fits of laughter.

"Ooh, and Mason. Let's not forget him."

"Yea. Skyler, he was just dumb. No sense at all."

"He was cute though, so that made up for it."

"I guess, you're right, Doodle."

"Thanks, Lace. I feel better. He's the least of my worries."

"I see. You got your eyes set on someone else."

"Wha—what? How do you know? I mean, no" Skyler managed to stammer out in her shocked state.

"I know you, Doodle. You don't even wear lipstick."

"Yes I do....on occasion."

"Well, what's the occasion then?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to do something different."

"Yea."

"Really, Lace."

"Umm hmm. Hurry up and drive. I'm hungry."

****::::::::****:::::::::****

They arrived at Buffalo Wild Wings, and it was as expected, packed.

"Work your employee magic and get us a seat" Lacey said as she scanned the place.

"Just because I work here, doesn't mean they'll cut me a break, but we'll see."

Skyler left and shortly after, waved Lacey over to an empty spot.

"Check it out. Plenty of hotties up in here" Lacey said while smiling at the booth full of guys. Skyler was busy looking at the menu.

"How 'bout we get the eight boneless wings, the ribs and popcorn shrimp and split it. What do you want to drink?" Then she heard her friend yell to the booth full of guys.

"Hey, Joel!"

"Joel, what?" Skyler looked and low and behold, there he stood in all his glory. He was wearing a red and white button up Hollister shirt and dark blue jeans. She could see this because he was sitting on the outside of the booth. He stood and walked over to them. Skyler planted her head back into her menu.

"Hey, Lacey. What's up? Long time, no see."

"Nothing much. Out with my girl."

Skyler slowly looked up from her menu and into his eyes. He was wearing a playful smile. The 'you know you saw me coming' smile.

"Hey" she said.

Hey. That's all you can say. Why do you lose yourself around this guy? And why are you talking to yourself? And why are you talking in third person.

As if they could hear her thoughts, both Lacey and Joel looked at her with confused faces.

"Hey, Skyler. How's it going?"

"Good. It's good. I'm good. We're good, right Lace?"

"Umm...yea?" was Lacey's confused response.

Joel let out a sexy chuckle. "Yea. I bet. Look, it was good seeing you Lacey." He leaned down and gave Lacey a peck on the cheek. Then he turned and looked at Skyler. "Skyler" he said with a nod and walked back to the bunch of guys. The way he said her name sent chills through her skin. She was thinking about how it would sound while he whispered it in her ear while they...

"What?" Skyler looked at Lacey across the table as if she had heard what she was thinking.

"Nothing."

"I didn't know you knew him."

"Who, Joel? He was in my World Religions class."

"Oh."

Lacey gave Skyler a wide grin. "How do

you

know him?"

"He's in my Spanish class. He's kinda my tutor but..."

"But, what?"

"Nothing. He's my tutor."

In sync, they both turned towards the 'guy table' and noticed Joel staring. He gave them a sexy smile and turned back towards the guy beside him.

This is going to be a really long night.