So this is the second part of my story, the first will help you understand how we reached this point.
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I am not entirely sure I knew what would happen when my husband moved back in. I guess part of me wondered if life would return to normal or if we would really progress with these desires.
After I watched the video, I rang my husband telling him to come. He left the hotel and arrived home at close to one in the morning. It was late and I should have been tired but I was too excited to sleep and only wanted to discuss the video. How long had he hidden these desires from me. I questioned him about where the video had come from and whether he wanted to be that white man in the video watching his wife getting taken by a giant sexual black man. He explained how he had started to accept that sexually he could not satisfy me and that more importantly it was unfair on me.
On asking why black, he explained that he had found inter-racial porn online and found it so erotic to watch a white woman taken in such a way. For him it became clear that accepting 'black sex' was different from 'white sex' made him feel less of a failure. He could rationalise the 'once you go black' statement in his own mind after watching.
We talked for so long and for the first time in a long time we smiled with each other and laughed and for the first time in a long time I actually started to feel sexual around him again.
He went quiet at one stage, almost shy, as we lay on the bed talking. I remember touching his hand and saying we cannot get back to how we were and if he wanted to say something then he must speak because we cannot hide things from each other anymore. After a moment of silence and a swallow he asked me if I enjoyed the porn? I smiled and for first time in longer than I want to imagine I kissed him. I replied that yes I thought it was amazing. I had never been someone that enjoyed porn but as I said to him "I have never seen such a sexy looking man. He was so confident and the way he took that woman...I was so jealous but, honey, that couple... they seemed so comfortable and passionate with each other. They were so lucky."
My husband smiled and told me that he agreed and that he had never seen sex like that but now all he ever thought about was how amazing it would be for me to enjoy a black man because you only need to watch to see how superior they are. As he finished he said something and smiled in away that I had never seen him smile before. "And baby that cock he had is so sexy. I never seen something as amazing as him." As he finished saying that I noticed how he had started to get aroused in his trousers and I smiled because we seemed to have started being sexual together again.
I smiled and said that it was clear that he really enjoyed this but I had to ask if he really wanted to give this to me and start exploring it? His reply was one I will always remember: "baby, I cant keep you happy like that but if I can maybe give you a real man like that black bull perhaps you will be happy and even let me watch one day." As he said it I didnt just kiss him I kissed him passionately for the first time in years We lay on the bed kissing with passion and I felt hornier than I had since before we had our children