My husband John has been very quiet around me lately. I have torn his heart apart and dumped burning coals of distrust into his soul. I never thought that I would ever do anything like I have done over the last year. I love my husband with all of my heart. That I had the capacity to do what I have done has driven us apart. Even though I was blackmailed, drugged and forced into this lifestyle of whoring around.
He has told you what he knows of the last year so far. What he doesn't know is the dirty little details of my life since that photo session. I couldn't bring myself to tell him verbally what I have done over the last year, so I decided to write it down for him to read. When I get done with my story I will let him read it, alone. This is what I have written so far.
John, this is what has happened in my life over the last year. I want you to know that I love you very much, and I want to stay your wife. After you read this, think about what I am telling you. If you leave me, I'll understand. If you stay with me, I will be the happiest woman in the whole world, and I will from that day on be only yours, period. Forever. I need to get this all off of my chest. It has been burning in my heart and soul for some time now, and I feel the need to let it all out. I am asking you to forgive me, and if you can't forget, at least remember our love for each other, and that I still and always have, loved you with all of my heart.
Christmas was coming up and I wanted to get you something very special. I had thought and thought but couldn't come up with anything good. I read in one of those ladies magazines about different ideas, and one caught my eye. That idea was one where a pretty woman had gotten some 'boudoir' pictures taken of her for her husband. She had posed in sexy dresses and then lingerie. She told how wild her husband had gotten over her poses and sexy shots. He had practically raped her where she stood that Christmas morning. She had loved what it had done for their sex life. It caught my eye because I wanted to keep your interest in me alive and hot.
We went to your company Christmas party, where I met a bunch of new and interesting people. Your boss was a very nice black gentleman and I thought that we hit it off rather well. I noticed that he stole looks at me constantly. He admired my 'sexy little black dress' as he put it. I was almost self-conscious in it after his remark. My intent had been to look sexy, not to be bait for the boss.
It had a very low neckline, showing a quite a bit of cleavage. It was also very short, being short enough that I really should have worn pantyhose instead of the garter belt and stockings that I had worn. It was very obvious that I had on stocking and garter belt because they showed often as I moved around the room. The hem of the dress was about even with the tops of my stockings, covering them only by an inch or so. If I had had to bend over, I am sure most of the people there would have seen my sheer black thong underwear. They could have seen the lips of my vagina at one point because I was so wet and horny for John. As they got wet the panties became transparent.
I loved the effect that dress had on you, and deep down inside, on the other men at the party as well. I liked to feel desired and sexy by other men, even though I was not interested in 'doing anything' about it with anyone other than you, my husband.
At the party I met a pretty young lady and we started talking. She mentioned the magazine that I had read and even mentioned that article about the pictures. I asked her if she knew of any photographers who did boudoir shots. She didn't but said that she would ask around and find out if anyone knew of one before the end of the party. Later she told me that your boss, Mark, might know of one and he would let her know if it could be arranged on such a short notice. Christmas was only a short time away, and most photographers wanted and needed time to do the shoot and then to develop the photos.
A couple of days later she called and gave me the number of the photographer. I called him and he sounded very nice and professional. His name was Greg, and he talked me into coming down to the studio to look around. He even made an appointment, so that he was sure to be there when I got there. The next day I dressed up a little sexily. I think I wanted him to see me as an attractive lady. I looked around his studio and was impressed.
He really had a great set-up. It was on the edge of the 'bad' part of town, but he said "The rent is cheap, so I can pass the savings on to my customers."
That made sense to me, even though I was uncomfortable in that part of town. His attitude was sort of rough around the edges, but I could see some of his work in the front office, and it looked to be pretty good. We made a date for having my 'portfolio shot' as he put it. It was for the next day.
You had left for a business trip and it was a longer one. I hated these trips you had to take. Soon you thought that you would be high enough up in the company to not have to take so many trips. I often went on trips with you, but since I was trying to get the pictures taken, I couldn't go on this one. That was too bad too, because you went to Las Vegas that time.
We talked on the phone the night before I went to get my portfolio done and it was a long conversation because you were not going to be able to call for the next four days. This was unusual, since he could always call each night. He had forgotten his cell phone and he was going out into the desert on a tour of several places and would be roughing it.
I knew that was going to drive you nuts, since you always called me every night on these trips. You really missed me while away and had to talk to me each night. Our phone bills were usually pretty large compared to other people in the company.
The day of the shoot, I got dressed after a nice long hot bath. Greg had mentioned that I might not want to wear any underwear until I got to the studio. His comment had been offhand and short.
"You shouldn't wear any underwear Sue, it creases the skin and takes quite a while to let those marks smooth out. Pictures are better if they don't have to be retouched too much. I have some lingerie here that you can model in so we can keep the lines to a minimum. It will help with time constraints."
I was embarrassed not wearing any panties or bra, but I wanted to have real good shots of me for John, so I just tucked a bra and panties in my purse for afterwards. I got to the studio a little early, and Greg set me up in a small dressing room. It was quite nice. The lighting on the makeup desk was bright but not harsh. I stripped off my clothes and put on a robe that was over the back of a chair.
While I waited to go start to pose I drank the hot tea that he had given me. "This will relax you a little bit and calm your jitters. It is a tea with herbs and stuff in it. It won't hurt you, and like I said, it will help you until you are relaxed with this whole photo-shoot. I give it to all of my models when they are new to this." He was charming and seemed to be a sweet man underneath the roughness. I noticed that while your boss Mark was a light-colored Blackman, Greg was very dark-skinned. I hadn't really noticed any other differences until now.
When Greg finally got me to go pose I had chosen some dresses, a few nighties, and a really sexy skin-suit. I hoped that my choices would look good on me as I posed. I walked out into the main studio, and noticed the big king-sized bed in the circle of lights. I then saw another circle of lights around a couch. Both sets looked just like someone's home setting. I saw that Greg had a real professional touch to everything he did. It gave me some confidence in what was to come. I hadn't thought that I would be so nervous doing this, but I was pretty shaky when I started. I posed in two of the dresses I had chosen, and then Greg moved me smoothly into the nighties. At this point I felt warm and had a tingle running inside of me. The posing and the comments Greg made about me as he shot each picture were turning me on.
I stopped him at one point and asked for a drink of water or something. He said it was time to take a break anyway. He got me some more of that tea. I was really feeling good and sexy now. I had a strong urge to masturbate to take the 'edge' off. I couldn't do that in front of Greg so I went into the bathroom. I finished peeing, and as I wiped myself I started to get real turned on. Soon I was slipping my fingers up and down the lips of my vagina. I was masturbating and almost ready to get off when Greg suddenly called for me to go on with the shoot. I was beside myself to finish what I had started, but quit and went out to the main shooting area.
Greg moved me on to the bed for the nightie scenes. I changed out behind a large screen, so as I changed costumes I wouldn't be 'exposed'. It made me feel safe. I went through the nighties in short order. By the time I changed into the last nightie, I had dropped all shyness, and actually changed in front of Greg. It seemed that my shyness in front of him had gone down in a dramatic fashion. My horniness was in high gear. I really wanted to go home and use my vibrator to finish off.
Now Greg had me get into some things he had picked out. I hesitated because they showed more than I had intended, for photographs. His smooth talking and compliments persuaded me to go ahead and try them on. He had quite a few outfits, if that is what you would have called the small little revealing things he laid out for me. Greg kept talking to me in a steady complimentary patter.
"Oh Sue, you are so beautiful. O.K. now lay on your side. Great! Beautiful! You are magnificent! Roll over a little, towards the dresser. Yeah! Great! God, you are perfect! Sue, I need you to lift your arm up in the air, with a little hair now. Slowly lower it. Great! Shit girl, your going to have your old man drooling for months now! Raise your left knee up; pull your foot in towards your bottom. Good! WOW! You are looking so wonderful, your husband will be stunned with your beauty for sure!"
