Meet Jessamyn "Yes I'm Mean" Lucerne, a six-foot-tall, dark-haired, forty-something, plump White lady living in the City of Ottawa, Ontario. By day, she is a hard-working wife and mother, the manager of a small security firm. A night, Jessamyn Lucerne is a Goddess of Debauchery and Wanton Lust. Nothing wrong with having a hobby of sorts. Folks do all kinds of things to kill time. Lots of folks lead a double life and this lady is no exception. Solomon Stephenson surmised that about Jessamyn the first time he met her, one fine day in downtown Ottawa. The big broad had an attitude, for real...
Solomon Stephenson is the kind of brother who simply cannot have an ordinary day. The big and tall, dark-skinned and ruggedly handsome Black male security guard sat at the front desk, trying to look busy while feeling extremely bored. This Afro-Caribbean brother was ready to start counting ceiling tiles, for real. Security has got to be the most boring job in the Multiverse, second only to counting grains of sand or things of that nature. Like a lot of Canadian university graduates, Solomon cannot find a job in his major and does odd jobs to pay the bills.
Solomon had been working security for a while, and wanted to leave that industry. The field of security attracts asshole managers, bitchy managers, and lousy coworkers. It is quite simply a toxic environment. With a Canadian university degree hanging on his apartment wall, Solomon ought to be able to find at least an entry-level gig into the professional leagues. The City of Ottawa is a government town and with lots of old White folks retiring, the government has got to start hiring new people. Solomon is shopping his resume around, and enduring the tedium of security in the meantime...
This particular government building was largely empty, mainly due to Covid, and Solomon honestly wondered why they bothered having security at all. With the exception of cleaners and repairmen, and of course security, the place was super empty. Seated at the desk, with little do except read his comic books and greet the occasional cleaner or contractor, Solomon bantered with Mohammed Abdullah, the young Somali guy who was also stuck working there. As the two young Black men bantered, a certain tall, large White woman came along. The lady in question was none other than Jessamyn Lucerne, the security team manager.
Solomon Stephenson had definitely noticed Jessamyn Lucerne when he walked in. The lady is tall, and chubby, with big breasts, wide hips and a huge round ass. when it comes to women, Solomon likes them older, the MILF archetype or even GILFs, and considers a big ass an asset, pun intended. Jessamyn Lucerne was also oozing attitude and bossiness out of every pore. What effect does a chubby White woman with a big ass and an attitude problem have on a Black man? Every porn watcher knows the answer to this particular question.
"Bonjour, young man," Jessamyn said, fixing her stare on Solomon, who had been chatting with Mohammed about the benefits of being a floater rather than a permanent site guard. After working security for years and years, Solomon didn't care for the politics and the bullshit that came with being a site guard, especially with this particular security company. Jessamyn came along and sat her prodigious derriere on the desk, watching the two young Black men as they chatted. When Solomon changed the conversation to something cooler, like Marvel and DC Superhero Comparisons, Mohammed couldn't keep up...
"I don't like Superhero movies, they are really not my thing, honestly, I prefer romantic comedies," said Mohammed, with a smile and a shrug. Solomon resisted the urge to smack the young Somali Canadian security guard. What kind of man would rather watch boring romantic comedies instead of, say, The Hulk fighting Superman? Jessamyn took this as her cue to interject herself into the conversation. Solomon shrugged and started to engage with Jessamyn since he was super bored, and working a twelve hour shift, and that Somali fool Mo was definitely not helping.
"I love superhero movies," Jessamyn said smugly, and as Solomon watched, she began to totally dominate the conversation, expositing about everything from the Loki series to Wanda Vision and the second coming of the Black Panther. Solomon likes superheroes as much as any young man who digs pop culture, but he found Jessamyn a bit pushy. Oh, and the fact that the chubby White lady in the security shirt and cargo pants kept flexing her thighs was also kind of distracting, but Solomon took it all in stride.
"My little brother John thinks the Justice League smokes the Avengers, but everyone knows Superman can't fight," Solomon ventured, and Jessamyn simply picked up that ball and ran with it. Jessamyn is one of those broads who likes to dominate conversation, and she was far less knowledgeable about comic books and superhero movies than she thought. Solomon corrected Jessamyn several times, such as when she somehow confused Galactus the World Devourer for Thanos The Space God, but she didn't like that. Changing the subject to regular movies, Solomon got way more than he bargained for...
"In regular movies, guys pursue women endlessly, and to me, that's propagating toxic masculinity," Jessamyn said, and Solomon rolled his eyes. Is there anything more boring than a broad who brings up feminism and gender issues in the workplace? Solomon slowly walked his way out of that particular mine field, which men around the world know better than to navigate. Women play victim better than anyone, and when it comes to gender issues, a man simply cannot win. Hell, feminists even make female serial killers like Aileen Wuornos sound like pure innocent victims. Go figure!
"Sexism does exist, but men suffer too, male suicide rates are skyrocketing," Solomon ventured, and Jessamyn scoffed, and launched into a tirade about how women suffer a lot and blah blah and more blah. Fortunately, the tasty Caribbean dishes that Solomon ordered on Uber Eats arrived, and he excused himself and went to grab it. Solomon wished Jessamyn and Mohammed a good afternoon and went down to the security breakroom area in the building basement to take his lunch. Guess who followed him there?
