It's Complicated

::: Three years later...

"I don't know what you've got going on in your life that so important to have you slacking on your work, but you need to get it together. It's not just your ass on the line here. You have been with us for three years, you know the drill. The big heads like your story, but you have got to do the work. I need two hundred pages on my desk by the end of the week. No exceptions. Its Wednesday, I suggest you get started."

"See you later, Ann." She gathered her things and rushed out of the older woman's office.

Sitting in there listening to her was like getting a lecture from her mother, but Ann was right. Lyn dropped the ball, she already missed two deadlines and she was four hundred pages behind schedule. If she didn't kick it into gear she was going to miss her publish date...or worse. She couldn't let that happen. Her first book wasn't a complete failure, but it didn't get the attention she and her publishing company had hoped for. It really wasn't that bad of a book...or at least she didn't think so before they changed it.

She hopped on the elevator down to the lobby. Just as she stepped off, her phone rang.

"Hey." She answered.

"How'd it go?"

"As expected. Ann is pissed."

"Ann is always pissed. Where are you now?"

"I'm on my way to the subway. I think I'm going to stop off at the market to get some junk food. I'm stuck in the apartment for the rest of the week."

She stepped outside into the glacial air of New York. It was a good thing she was staying home the rest of the week; there was no way she was going to come out in this weather unless she absolutely had to. As much as she loved living in New York, there was no way she was leaving her apartment during the coldest month of the year for no reason at all, plus she loved her apartment. She was lucky she found it. The hunt for good affordable apartments was a difficult one. She scoffed just remembering it.

"Can I come see you?"

"No. I'll see you next week. I need to focus. I'm too far behind."

"Alright, call me when you get a chance."

She hung up.

**********************

Walking into her one bedroom apartment, Lyn dropped her coat, mail and keys on the inn table and carried fifty dollars worth of junk food snacks to her kitchen. Lyn was suffering from the worst case of writers block. All she did for the past month was stare at a blank screen. Nothing would come out. She had no ending in sight. Why she picked this profession, she'll never know.

There was a knock on the door.

"Here, you dropped this. It was in front of your door." Ryan said handing her an envelope and letting himself in.

"Thanks. Wait, why are you here?"

"Duh. I heard you come in." Ryan said.

"I told you not to come over."

"When have I ever listened to you? Plus were neighbors, it's my right to come over."

Ryan was the first person Lyn met when she moved to New York after graduation. He was her closest friend since college. He could read her like a book. Nothing got past him. He was just a little taller than her at 5'10" with blonde hair cropped short to his scalp, grey eyes and a lean muscular build she would love to get her hands on...if he wasn't gay, which she wouldn't have known if he didn't do everything, but say it to her.

Lyn looked down at the letter in her hand there was no return address. She tossed it aside. It was probably some kind of advertisement.

"Unless you came to write for me...I suggest you leave so I can get started."

"No I came for some advice."

"I'm in no position to give anyone advice."

"It's about Stevie."

"Stevie who? Is he new?"

"Stevie from the concert."

Lyn looked at him with crinkled eyebrows, "So what?"

"I didn't mention that I'm bisexual."

"Since when are you bisexual?" This was news to her, as she never seen him with a woman...or a man for that matter.

"Since the moment I saw you." He said with a wink. He was only half joking.

"Shut up. It's not his business unless it's serious."

"You're right. Hey, where is that guy that always comes over here?" Ryan asked, being meddlesome.

"You are the nosiest neighbor I have ever had. We aren't seeing each other anymore."

"Last time you said that, he was back over in a week keeping you up all night, which by the way, kept me up all night too. You need to learn to keep it down."

Lyn feigned innocence, "Who? Surely not me."

"You're not fooling anybody. What happened?"

"Nothing new. Same thing as last time Darrel wants more than I am willing to give. He wants all of my time and I can't give it to him I have too much to do in these coming months. It's not going to work. So we ended it....for good this time."

"You going to be okay?" Ryan asked.

"Oh yea, it wasn't that serious for me. The only reason I kept him around was because of the sex and that got old after a while. I'm just too stressed out to deal with all of it, though I wouldn't mind a little lovin' now and then."

"Speaking of, I have to go, but call me the minute you're done and we'll go out to drink or something.....I mean it Jay. If I don't hear from you by Saturday I'm coming over. I know how you get when you're in the writers zone."

"I know. I'll see you later." She said locking the door behind him.

**********************

She decided to check her email before she started not writing again. She was expecting an email from Solie or Ashley. After they graduated they all went their separate ways, but kept managed to keep in touch. Solie was working as a wedding coordinator and Ashley was running her own real estate business.

They were hoping to schedule out some time for a vacation since they haven't been together in years, but their schedules were always too way off for it. In fact she was pretty much open for whenever, it was Solie who didn't have the time. Being a wedding coordinator her entire life was schedules and since she lived in Florida now, there was no such thing as an off season.

She was going through deleting spam emails when she came across his name. Her heart nearly stopped. It's been three years and no word. Three years and no call. Three years and no letters. Three years and no visits. Her last memory of him came flooding back almost instantaneously...

******

He stood outside of her classroom waiting for her to come out, leaning against the wall with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. What he had to say she needed to hear. They were falling back into their old ways, but this wasn't going to sit well with her. He didn't want this to be one of the few things he regretted. He needed to pick each word carefully.

"Cohen? What are you doing here? You have practice right now." She said looking down at her watch, not realizing the season was over.

"You feel like eating?" He was stalling.

"No. I have to run over to my dorm. I have a meeting later. Can you believe we graduate in a month? New York here we come!"

"Lyn we need to talk." No more stalling.

She never liked hearing those words. In her past nothing good ever followed. It was either, 'Lyn Jackson died.' Or 'Lyn, this isn't working out.' Someone always seemed to leave her in one way or another. She managed to put off looking him in the face until they reached her dorm. He stood in the doorway watching her rush around the room. For the first time ever she felt threatened by his presence. For the first time ever she didn't want him to be there .For the first time ever she wanted to disappear.

He was wearing dark blue jeans and a black shirt. His hair hung wildly at his shoulders. She didn't notice until now that it must have been trimmed at some point, she remembered it being longer. His green eyes were clouded. His eyes let her further know that this wasn't going to be good. She was never going to forget this, his hair, his outfit, his eyes, his voice.

"Did I tell you that I've gotten in touch with a magazine?"

"Jay..."

"They said they would take a look at my work and maybe give me my own monthly article if they like it. They're based in New York so it's even better." She was rambling.

"Lyn...Don't..." He raked his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated.

"Why aren't you in class or running around with Johnny? You and he have been inseparable these last few months. What's up with that bromance anyway? People are starting to talk..."

"Jaylyn!" His voice boomed, startling her into stillness. She closed her eyes.

He continued, "Open your eyes, Do you trust me?"

She paused a little longer than he appreciated, before she finally shook her head 'yes'.

"Say it." He said looking her directly into her eyes, making her uneasy.

"I trust you."

She had to look away. His green eyes were burning holes into her. She felt naked when he looked her like that. She hated it. She wanted nothing more than to snatch his eyes out of their sockets and throw them at him, just for making her feel vulnerable, childlike and weak.

"I'm going to tell you why I left."

"You don't have to, I'm over it." She lied, but now she didn't want to know.

"Sit down."

She dropped onto the bed. She was defenseless. 'Would it be wrong to cry right now?' she thought because that's exactly what she wanted to do. She didn't have any clue what he was going to say, but she knew it was going to hurt and she knew that she was never going to forget it.

"I never told you about the meeting I had with Jack. He opened a branch of offices in Nevada. Those offices are mine. When I left, it was to oversee the start up of it and to recruit big clients."

"Coh.."

"Just listen." He saw the panic explode in her eyes. "There are four clients wanting to sign with our branch and we can't finalize those contracts from here. We need to meet..."

"We?"

"Johnny is one of the partners."

No wonder they have been spending so much time together; talking on the phone, filling out papers, glued to their laptops...Now that it's brought to her attention they haven't been out jacking around and chasing skirts like they usually did, but she just figured that they were trying to get caught up to pass classes, in order to graduate. Not once did it cross her mind that they were running an expanding business in Nevada.

"Johnny? What about New York?"

"I'm not going to New York with you. We're relocating to Nevada...permanently."

"Wha..When?" 'What about me?' she added inwardly. The word 'we' was always supposed to consist of her and Pierce, not Pierce and Johnny. Johnny was never supposed to be a part of it.

She understood now. It made perfect sense to her why Pierce was so cold. She knew exactly why he never kept anyone close to him. If it hurt this bad to have them leave you he was actually smart to keep people at a distance. Lesson Learned.

"We fly out first thing tomorrow."

'There's that word again.' She thought. He's starting to sound like his father.

He saw it. That look. The look that said, 'you've let me down.' He promised to never let her down, never to leave her and to always be there for her. She was hurting and it was breaking him, but it was the only way. They were too dependent on each other. Pierce ran this through his mind nine hundred times. The first eight hundred ended with him taking her with him, but he didn't want to take her away from living her dream. There was also the fact that he wouldn't become as successful as he wanted if he was busy worrying about her. It was better this way and he needed her to trust him for it. This was going to destroy her, but she would be stronger because of it.

"Tomorrow? Why are you telling me now?" She was standing now, backing further and further away from him with each word she spoke.

Pierce felt as if ice cold water was injected into his veins and pumping directly into his heart. He was watching her pull away from him. This was what he wanted, but he didn't think it would be so hard to watch.

He cleared the space between them in three big steps. He held her face in his hands and searched her eyes for...anything. There was nothing he could say to make this right, not yet. He lowered his face closer to her own and said, "Jaylyn, trust me."

She could feel his breath warm on her lips. If circumstances were different she might have given into her carnal urges and kissed him, but instead she could only feel disconnected from him and he could tell. Her mind went into fight mode. There was no way he was going to let her leave the room, so she could forget that idea. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, she thought. They wouldn't be living in the same state, but maybe they would visit each other often. They could talk on the phone...emails...text messages. She thought for a brief moment that this might be okay. She might make it, but if that was really so why did she feel so...empty?

"I'll visit you...and...and call. We can write....it...." She was grasping at straws. The look in his eyes told her that it wasn't going to go anything like she hoped.

He cut her off, "That's not going to happen."

Her security was gone. She felt the stinging heat fill her eyes. As she blinked, the tears poured over. "Why?"

She started to turn away when he pulled her face back to his, staring directly in her eyes he saw the exact moment she gave up on him, "Trust me."

He looked at her for a few moments longer, turned around and he was gone.

******

She blinked at the burning sensation behind her eyes and shook her head at the memory. That was the last Lyn had seen or heard from Pierce...Until now.

She was furious. She finally found her own way in life and was doing just fine without him. She didn't need him anymore. It started out rough, but life after Pierce was good. She was happy and living her dream. Why did he have to plague her with thoughts of the past? She was over him.

It felt silly for her to react in such a way to an email...an unopened email at that. She stared at his name. She wondered what it could possible say; it didn't dawn on her that all her initial questions would be answered once she opened it. After a few paces around her apartment and two mini pep talks she found the courage she needed to do exact what he did to her...delete it.

Minutes later, hours later, days later she found herself punching at the keys of her laptop, in the writing zone. This week was going to fly by for her...