It's not her. It can't be. It just can't be.
A salacious scene played in Connor's mind. His girlfriend, Kayla, had her mouth on a big black cock, its dark flesh contrasted against her paler features and pink lips. The scene had popped up throughout the day, always accompanied by a mix of arousal and shame. That mix bloomed in him now.
If it isn't her, she has a twin out there.
He was nudged from the side, and looked over, pulled from his reverie, to see Emily staring at him, brow arched in concern.
"Earth to Connor."
"Yeah, you alright?" Todd asked from across the table.
"You totally zoned out, dude," Luis told him. "Emily said your name like five times."
"Uh...sorry," he muttered. "I'm just...thinking about my thesis."
Nice save.
"Oh yeah," Alyssa piped up. "How's that going?"
"Uh...it's going alright. Coming along."
"Is it?" Emily asked, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You look worried."
"Yeah, dude, you can tell us how it's really going," Luis added.
No, I can't...
"No, it's fine, really. I must have resting worried face or something."
He forced a laugh as the group chuckled at his joke.
"Yeah, I can't wait to do my thesis next year," Luis said sarcastically.
"Oh, it's not that bad," Emily assured him. "You just have to find a topic that interests you."
"I don't think they'll let me do one on anime..."
"Well, I mean a topic that relates to your major."
Luis shrugged.
"Sorry I zoned out," Connor said then. "What were you guys talking about?"
"Tomorrow's bible study," Rebecca answered.
"Oh, cool," he replied, forcing himself to show some interest.
"Dessert time," Gerald spoke up as he padded into the dining room, carrying several boxes of pastries.
"Ooh, my favorite time of the day," Todd joked.
The campus minister chuckled, setting the boxes down on the table.
"I got chocolate chip cookies, rugelach, cake pops, and-"
Black and white cookies.
"-black and white cookies."
Images flashed in Connor's mind, of black and white coming together in another way, Kayla sucking eagerly at a meaty length, its ebony flesh again contrasting so starkly with her lighter skin.
Another nudge came at his side, and he glanced over to Emily.
"Thinking about your thesis again?" she asked.
"Hey," Gerald spoke up, "I thought I told you guys before, this is a thesis-free zone."
"Sorry," Connor muttered.
The campus minister's smile fell.
"You can talk about it if you want," he said quickly, fixing a concerned gaze on Connor. "I was just joking. You do seem worried."
"No, I'm fine, really. I was just thinking about it, but not, you know, worrying about it."
Gerald nodded solemnly.
"But we should probably change the subject to something more interesting than my thesis..."
"Definitely," the campus minister said with a grin.
"So then," Alyssa piped up, "how's Kayla?"
He managed to not wince.
It's not her. It can't be.
"Uh...she's good."
"She hasn't come by in a while," Gerald commented casually. "Either here or church."
"She's just busy."
Busy sucking dick and putting it on the internet.
"No one's too busy for church," Luis said, shaking his head firmly.
"Well, it's not a priority for her, I guess."
"Have you talked to her about it?"
He hesitated.
"Let's not pry," Emily cut in, her hand back on his shoulder. "That's between them and God."
"Sorry," Luis apologized, "didn't mean to interrogate you."
"Nah, don't worry about it."
"It is a shame though," Alyssa chimed in. "I like seeing her around here. You two are a cute couple."
He fought back another wince.
"The first couple of the Newman Club," Todd joked.
"Nah, that's Gerald and Sister Antoinette," Luis said, playfully elbowing the campus minister.
The group laughed as Gerald rolled his eyes in bemusement. Connor's laughter was forced.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Connor slipped into his room, closing the door behind him.
Towel securely around his waist, he sat at his desk, and opened his laptop.
Wednesday was his busiest day of the week. Between a morning class, two afternoon classes, the weekly late afternoon Newman Club trip to St. Thomas' food pantry, the weekly Newman Club meeting-slash-dinner afterwards, and his late-evening gym session, he had little time for leisure until late. Even the shower he usually took after the gym was quick and efficient.
But no matter where he had been today, thoughts of Kayla had sprung up. It had been disconcerting enough to think about her sucking cock while putting soup cans on the food pantry shelves. To do so while sitting across from her at lunch had been even more so, as he had listened to her chatting about her day while imagining her lips wrapped around a meaty shaft.
Usually, after his post-gym shower, he would go hang out with her for the last portion of her shift at the campus café.
But with thoughts of her infidelity swirling in his mind, he found himself not exactly enthused about that idea.
It took him a few minutes to get through his emails. Once he was finished, he sat back in his chair, and finally addressed a burgeoning temptation.
I don't have to watch any more of the video. It's not her. It can't be.
The voice was quickly answered by another voice.
You might as well make sure it's not her. Just watch a little bit more.
He was halfway through the sign of the cross before he stopped, sighing heavily.
Praying about something always seemed to help, whether it was academically related or about a more personal matter.
But now, he felt neither satisfaction nor the sense of security that usually came from the sign of the cross, no sign that prayer would help.
Of course it'll help
, came a stern voice.
It always helps.
How can God help with this?
a second voice spoke up.
God can help with anything.
The second voice did not speak up, but Connor did not need it to. With the sign of the cross unfinished, he opened the email he had received yesterday from Isaiah.
It can't be her...but I should make sure.
'Daddy Makes His Bitch Feel Better' started playing. He felt a heat bloom inside him as he fast-forwarded, trying to ignore the quick glimpses of the parts he had already seen, Kayla baring her body for the camera, letting a stranger finger her, sucking at a big black cock, fitting every inch of it into her throat, kissing at those ebony balls, showing off a fresh batch of semen in her mouth before swallowing it down.
The video reached the part where he had stopped watching.
"I always feel so good when you pound my pussy," came Not-Kayla's voice. "I always cum so hard."
He jumped in surprise, only then realizing that his headphones were not plugged in, and hurriedly paused the video.
Eric was in his room, studying intently, and the volume had not been that high, but Connor's heart raced anyway as he plugged his headphones in. Keeping his towel secure around his waist, he scurried over to the door, and opened it just enough to see out. The common room was empty; a light came from Eric's ajar door on the other side of it.
His heart still racing, Connor closed his door, and sat back down. Once he put his headphones in, he resumed the video.
Not-Kayla was sitting back on her heels, her pert breasts in the middle of the shot, her smooth belly leading to her slick sex. Her eyes were fixed on the camera, that hazel gaze filled with lust.
"Please, Daddy...I need you inside me..."
The sheer desperation in those words made him shudder.
A hand came into the shot to stroke at her cheek.
"Don't worry, baby girl, I'll give you what you need...but first I want to taste you again."