Welcome to the IRFWC or Interracial Female Wrestling Competition. This is our inaugural match, folks. America is a very diverse place. A melting pot made up of people of African, Asian, European, Native American and Middle-Eastern descent. A truly diverse country. The most powerful nation in the entire world. What makes us special is that our entertainment is always first-rate. Only in America could something like the Interracial Female Wrestling Competition come to life. We came up with the idea of young women of different races competing against each other on the mat. To prove who is simply the best. It's multicultural, it's gender inclusive and it's intensely sexual and political at the same time. We can't stand of anything much more American than that.
Tonight, we have a very hot match for you. We traveled all over America to find the toughest young women around. And we hastily brought them to you. The contestants are Rachel Brendan and Jessica White. Rachel Brendan is a six-foot-two, lean and muscular young woman of Irish descent with alabaster skin, blonde hair and blue eyes. Weighing in at 250 pounds, Rachel Brendan is a self-described Tough Boston Irish Broad. She is a sophomore at Boston College in the town of Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts. This young Irishwoman is a Biology major and describes herself as a Proud WASP. Prior to attending Boston College, she graduated from Saint Marguerite Academy. At that school, she was the only female on the Men's Varsity Wrestling squad. Did we mention she was also the team Captain?
Rachel Brendan is definitely an innovator who defies the odds. This hot young Irishwoman doesn't follow the crowd. We dug into her background and found the reason for that. She was born under the sign of the Aquarius. Her hobbies include mixed martial arts, soccer, swimming, ice hockey and reading science fiction. Rachel Brendan is also a proud member of the Young Republicans Association. She still wears her John McCain T-shirt from the 2008 Presidential Election. How cool is that? A young woman who stands up for her beliefs even when she knows she's wrong.
Rachel Brendan's competition is Howard University freshman Jessica White. A six-foot-tall, stocky and big-bottomed, absolutely sexy young Black woman of Haitian descent. She majors in civil engineering at Howard University and is a member of the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority. She describes herself as the world's toughest sister. Her hobbies include football, wrestling, basketball, swimming and jujitsu. Football fans around America might know Jessica White because she's a linebacker on the Howard University Football team. An NCAA legend in the making and a trailblazer all rolled into one. Millions of young women around the U.S. consider her a role model. Jessica White is a proud member of the Black Women of America Inc. And she enjoys kicking uppity White ass more than anything. Weighing in at 241 pounds, she is a stern Black Amazon. Prior to attending the world-famous Howard University, Rachel Brendan attended Zulu Academy in Atlanta, Georgia. A private and decidedly Afro-centric school named after Chaka the Zulu, the old South African King who successfully warred against European invaders until his untimely death at the hands of his own siblings. Oh, silly us. We forgot to mention that Jessica White was the first female to join the Men's Varsity Football team at Zulu Academy. She played at the linebacker position for four years. Let the games begin, ladies and gentlemen. This is going to be one for the ages.
Rachel Brendan and Jessica White step into the ring. The two ladies are circling each other. And they start grappling. Jessica is proudly wearing a black and red uniform with a Black Panther emblazoned on it. And her opponent Rachel Brendan proudly displays the crest of the Young Republicans Association. None of that matters now as they grapple with each other. This is a first match for each of them. The match is broadcast around the world and legions of Washington D.C. residents and Boston Irish folks are cheering on their respective champions. It's more than a tough wrestling match between a sexy Black woman and a hot Irish chick. The very honour of two towns is at stake.