International Incident

January 20, 2025

"Please raise your right hand and repeat after me: I, Mark Douglas Robinson, do solemnly swear..."

"I, Mark Douglas Robinson, do solemnly swear..."

"That I will faithfully execute..."

"That I will faithfully execute..."

"The Office of President of the United States..."

"The Office of President of the United States..."

"And will, to the best of my ability..."

"And will, to the best of my ability..."

"Preserve, protect and defend..."

"Preserve, protect and defend..."

"The Constitution of the United States..."

"The Constitution of the United States."

"So help you God?"

"So help me God."

"Congratulations, Mr. President."

After shaking the Chief Justice's hand, and the hand of his Vice President, Jonathan Cahill, Mark sighed and smiled as "Hail to the Chief" played. Once the music stopped, Mark approached the podium to applause and chants of "Robinson! Robinson!"

"My fellow citizens," Mark began, "I am humbled by this moment, this unique moment in American history. This is our 60th Presidential inauguration, and I am overwhelmed by the honor of being selected by the American people as the 46th President of the United States.

"The weight of our challenges is immense and at times, seemingly unbearable. Economic anxiety. Racial division. Gun violence. Health care costs. An unequal criminal justice system. Attacks on religious minorities and members of the LGBTQ community. And above all, the existential threat to everyone in this country and in this world--the threat posed by the climate crisis, a threat that hit home so painfully last August, when Hurricane Terri took the lives of so many in Florida and Georgia.

"These are grave challenges--but these challenges can be overcome. We are stronger than our challenges, stronger than the adversity facing our great country. We can overcome these challenges together.

"Look at the challenges we have faced before. The challenge of building an independent nation. The challenge of bringing down the structures of slavery. The challenge of ensuring equality for women. The challenge of making sure that all citizens had the right to marry the person they love regardless of their sexual orientation. The challenge of making sure that every day, we truly become a more perfect union.

"When Americans come together, we can conquer any challenge. We've proven it before--and during the next four years, we will prove it again."

The crowd cheered, and Mark paused before resuming.

"As I noted before, this is a unique moment in American history--and in world history, as well. In just a few hours, I will board Air Force One and fly to Sydney, Australia, to marry a beautiful young woman who happens to be the mother of my son. Kylie Maree Connolly will, in my humble opinion, make an outstanding First Lady. We met under improbable circumstances, and we never could have imagined that the intersection of our lives would end up having such a historical impact. Our union is proof that our world is indeed becoming more connected.

"This will be a daunting challenge, being both a new President and a new husband. I'm not sure which job will be harder." The crowd laughed. "I ask you for your support as I embark upon this new chapter in my life--and for your help as our country and our world embark upon a new chapter as well. We have a chance to improve this world for our children and their children--and this moment can't wait.

"Thank you so very much for giving me this opportunity to lead. God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America."

---

"It is Tuesday evening, January 21 here in the Eastern United States, which means it's Wednesday morning, January 22, in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. I'm Mindy Loeb, and welcome to a very special edition of The Breakdown. We are simulcasting, along with the Channel Six network in Australia, the wedding of the newly sworn-in President of the United States, Mark Robinson, and his partner Kylie Maree Connolly, who became the focus of international attention last year when Channel Six revealed that in April of 2019, Kylie gave birth to a child fathered by President Robinson. Joining us now outside of St. Mark's Church in Darling Point are Hamish Jordan and Vanessa Moore of Channel Six, who infamously broke the story about Kylie and President Robinson's relationship. Hamish and Vanessa, how are you doing?"

"Good evening, Mindy," said Vanessa. "It's a very warm and beautiful day here, as we await the arrival of the bride and groom. There's a lot of national pride here, as you might imagine, as Kylie Connolly will become the first Australian-born First Lady in the States. However, there are actually a few protesters just outside of St. Mark's. Let's see if we can speak to some of them..."

Vanessa walked over to a middle-aged man and his son; the man was holding a sign reading "Robinson Hates Energy," and the son was holding a sign saying "Mark the Coal-Killer."

"Good morning," Vanessa asked, as the man leered at her cleavage and her tight blue dress. "What is your name?"

"My name is Tony Gallagher, and this is my son Gerry."

"Are you from Sydney?"

"No. We came from Rockhampton to make it clear we're against this. We think Kylie's making a big mistake."

"Why do you object to Kylie's marriage to President Robinson? Is it because of his skin colour?"

"No, we're not racist. He's the racist. He's racist against coal."

"What?"

"You heard me. He's a racist against coal. He wants a worldwide shutdown of all the coal plants."

"How can you be racist against something that isn't human?"

"Oh, you know what I mean."

"Although I hear they're gonna stay here for the honeymoon," Gerry added.

"In New South Wales, you mean?"

"Yeah, in Blacktown. Get it? Hah!"

"Uh, well, thanks," said an embarrassed Vanessa. "So, as you can see, Mindy, not everyone is enthused by the wedding. However, I think the majority of Australians are quite supportive. What's the reaction in America to this wedding?"

"Well," replied Mindy, "as you can imagine, there is something of a partisan divide here, as a lot of the folks who voted for President Robinson's opponent in last year's election have made it clear on social media that they won't be watching. We also have a lot of stand-up comedians joking that we're going to have kangaroos in the West Wing and kookaburras in the Rose Garden, that sort of thing. However, there's generally a supportive reaction--as you know, Americans still can't get enough of all things Australian, and lots of people here think it's cool that an Aussie will be in the White House."

"Thanks," said Vanessa. "Indeed, it is quite amazing, when you think--oh, look! It appears the bride has arrived!"

A cream-colored limousine pulled up in front of St. Mark's; Kylie's beautiful white Grace Loves Lace dress could barely be seen by the cameras as she stepped out of the limo amidst heavy Secret Service protection. Mark arrived several minutes later, also surrounded by burly Secret Servicemen.

"Just wish I had an opportunity to ask a question of both of them," Vanessa remarked after the bride and groom had entered St. Mark's.

"I think we'll all have opportunities after this ceremony is over," Mindy smiled.

"I certainly hope so," Vanessa noted. "I can't wait to see what little Edward will look like as the ring bearer!"

"He'll be the most famous ring bearer in the world," Mindy replied. "And this ceremony could turn out to be the most watched wedding in history."

"Yes," said Hamish. "And we should all just take a moment to reflect upon how special and magical this all is. This is something our grandparents, both Australian and American, scarcely could have imagined. And yet, it will happen just a few moments from now."

"Right now, in fact," Vanessa added. "I'm getting word that the ceremony is about to begin. Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness something that, as Hamish said, our grandparents scarcely could have imagined--and something we will always tell our grandchildren about. Let's watch."