Integration 1

Erik: "Mmmmm..you want to be a bad girl, ha? Should a Turkish Muslim girl be with a German guy? Do you like uncircumcised guys?"

I don't know why Erik says this every time he is horny? I do find this degrading and a little bit racist, doesn't he know I'm as German, as he is? How am I Turkish or Muslim? I drink, eat pork and listen to metal music how much more German can I be? I have a German passport and citizenship and I rarely speak Turkish and when I do my Turkish is very broken. I was born in Berlin and I study neuroscience at Technical University of Berlin, I'm educated, modern and liberal and still I get treated like this? At best, I am a sexy Turkish rock chick too him and I naively thought that if I dated him I would be accepted as fully German. No matter how hard I try, German society doesn't seem ready to accept me. My grandparents did not leave rural Anatolia and come to Germany for me to still be seen as an outsider like this.

"Steady big boy, while I find your big cock tempting, I'm afraid you're going to have to try harder than that to get you cock licked this evening." I respond.

Erik: "Aysel, baby you know I'm crazy about you. But I'm still waiting for your response to the question I ask you!"

"No, not that. I won't do it."

Erik: "But he's my closet friend we do everything together. Plus his girlfriend has broken up with him and he's been unhappy, as my girlfriend, I want you to help me cheer him up. He's always liked you and has always wanted to have a threesome, now is the perfect opportunity."

"If you continue to talk like that, I will leave."

Erik: "If you love me you'll do it?"

"Urgghh..Let me think about it. I have to go now."

I kiss Erik on the lips and head towards the U-Bahn (Subway), while walking I think the request over. He's been on at me for weeks now and the thing is I do love him desperately, but this request has me questioning whether he's right for me? What are the pro's and con's of keeping him, let's see? Pro he is Bavarian and has blonde hair and blue eyes. Con he's demands that I have sex with his best friend. Pro he is very German and I want to be more German. Con he's not the best lover in the bedroom and maybe his friend is better? Pro he's strong and can protect me. Con he's so obsessed with sex and I want to build a real relationship. I don't know this is a tough one.

I arrive home and my family have sat down to eat dinner, I join them and I sit to eat. My younger sister, Gul, is staring at me with a look of disgust, we often have problems. I have never understood her, she's the complete opposite of me. She's always getting into trouble and into fights and I think she is an attention seeker. Three-years ago she was a hard-line feminist and now she is a Radical Islamist or something, she always wear the Hijab (headscarf) in public. My parents nearly killed her when they found out she wears the Hijab in public, my mom would cry "What's wrong with you. You are a beautiful girl and we are German. This country has given us everything, but you insist on dressing like an Arab." But despite her anti-Western politics and appearance, she still has a German boyfriend, and is sexually more adventures than me. I do feel sorry for her boyfriend; he has to put up with her stubbornness and hotheadedness. Gul looks at me and finally says something.

Gul: "You were with him? That useless Bavarian ape."

"Shut up! I was with Eric, my boyfriend and what business is it of yours?"

Gul: "God, you're such a loser! Going around with German guy, just so, you can feel more German. I got news for you, we were born here and we are third generation. Our grandparents immigrated to this land of pork and glory. If we are still not German enough, then we will never be German enough, sleeping with a Bavarian pig will not help you!"

"I don't understand what you've got against him? I mean what has he ever done to you? Anyways, at least I am not pretending to be something I'm not! You walk around with that diaper on your head and pretend to be a Muslim girl. We are German! You speak German and I speak German. Your Turkish is rusty and you can't speak any Arabic and yet you claim to follow the teaching of Islam. Tell me are you following these teaching when you're with Andreas? I didn't realise Andreas was a good Turkish boy? Oh wait, he's not, he is also a pork loving German. Stop this hypocrisy!"

Gul: "Bla, bla, blahhh...Same shit. You know Fanon wrote about people like you? The black man wanting to become white, but with you, it's the Turkish woman wanting to become white. Whereas me, on the other hand, believe that I was born a Turk and will die one. I'm not German, I can't relate to their culture of getting drunk, men wearing leather shorts and playing terrible music. My music is Tarkan, not Rammstein, in fact my music is also DAM from Palestine. My book is the Masnavi by Rumi, their book is Heinrich Heine. My heritage is the Ottoman Empire, theirs is the Third Reich. Their food is the sausage, mine is the Kebab. Their God is a man, mine has no gender. My Germaness is merely an accident of birth; I am in body, mind and spirit, a daughter of the East. The way I see things, to be German, I have to become German. To be Turkish, I only need to be myself."

"What pretentious nonsense. Cultures are not fixed; they are ever evolving and changing things. You would not understand the culture of Turkey, if you went back right now. Your ideas about identity are not based on Eastern notions or formations of identity; they are based on German ideas about identity. Anyways, I'm getting a headache, enough." I get up and leave the table and I head straight to bed. But I can't sleep; I spend the whole night thinking about Erik's request. Why are men such perverts? If, I concede this, what will he ask me to do next? Sleep with a woman? No thank you, I don't bend that way. But, if I don't do it, he could break up with me and do I really want to lose him? I know Gul wouldn't put up with this shit, she maybe many things, but weak and lacking will is certainly not one of them. Although, Gul has done things that make me feel sick to think about. Before she got with Andreas, I know she whored around and I remember the dirtiest thing she has ever done was group sex.

She had sex with six guys, in a gang bang, at a party once. I remember when she came home from the party that evening, she seemed disorientated and she was trying to hide a limp. I can't work out what has happened, until the following evening when I heard her on the phone to her friend, and she was boosting about it. I heard all the details. I know, before that, she would perform sex acts on guys at parties and even the odd girl. But still, I was shocked by the gang bang and the callousness of how she talked about it. Maybe, I am just being a prune, old fashion, maybe I am being more Turkish than my sister? After all, what is my real objection to a threesome? Morality? What is morality? Everywhere I turn girls are doing it and I am a liberal German girl, aren't I? What if this is a test how German I am? Can I really claim to be a liberal modern girl, if I don't do, at least one thing, which is sexually deviant?

Suddenly, I hear my sister's voice coming out of her bedroom, she is talking on the phone and I listen in. "Yeah girl, I totally told Andreas improvements are needed otherwise I will seek my pleasure elsewhere. Well, when I sucked his friend Marcus off, I realized I could have better and should have better. I used ice cubes on Marcus and rubbed his cock down with the cubes, he was a real cum machine. Gosh, I just drool thinking about it, Andreas really needs to set-up. I mean, I've stopped thinking about him when I masturbate, you know I've re-named by vibrator to Marcus? But still Andreas has his upsides, I have him wrapped around my little finger. He will convert for me and have his cock circumcised. Don't worry, I can convince him off it..Hahahaah."

I go back to my room and slide back into my bed, how can my sister do this? She is totally the opposite of me. You know what? If she can do it, then so can I. I will tell Erik in the morning that I'm ready and will do whatever he asks.

Next Day

Erik seemed over excited when I spoke to him on the phone this morning and now the moment has arrived. I am nervous, but I hope that I get a good seeing too. I see Erik approaching me and we start kissing and then head onto the U-Bahn. To his apartment we go, Jakob, Erik's friend is waiting for us at Erik's place. We arrive and Jakob seems pleased to see us and we enter Erik's apartment, the moment of truth has finally arrived.

Erik: "Jakob, you know I love you man, and now, my girl is your girl."

Jakob: "She's excellent! I have waited, dreamed and fantasised about this moment for a while now. It's finally here."

I smile nervously and I look down, avoiding direct eye contact, I'm not sure I want to do it.

Erik: "I told Aysel, that once she does this, she'll be a real German girl. She keen to leave behind the backwardness of repressive eastern tradition."

I was shocked by the statement, but I said and did nothing about it. Then Jakob grabs my hand and takes me into Erik's bedroom, I extend my other hand behind me and hold Erik's hand. Soon we arrive at the bed and Jakob turns to me and starts kissing me. First on the lips and then his lips makes it around my neck and he sniff me neck while he kisses. Erik rubs and strokes my butt and he keeps repeating oh yes and shit. Suddenly, Erik pulls down my jeans and I feel a rush of air onto my naked butt and Jakob slides his hand down my panties and gently rubs my pussy. His cold hand and my sensitive lips makes me shudder, but there is no going back now.

Jakob rubs my pussy faster and faster and then Jakob pulls down my panties, Erik wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me down to the floor. I am too small and light to resist Erik's masculine strength, Erik lets go and I get onto my knees and rise my butt into the air and I place my hands on the floor and spread my legs. Erik stands behind me and drops his pants and underwear, he pulls his cock and rubs my outer butt cheeks and teases them. Meanwhile, Jakob stands in front of me and pulls down his pants and underwear, my hand extends forward and I start to stoke and rub his exposed manhood.

Jakob: "Hooohh, ya baby, work that sausage."

Erik stops teasing my cheeks and quickly rams his manhood into my anus, he does it so suddenly, that I let out a scream and tilt my head upward "Haaaa..Aaaaahhhh." I accidently squeeze Jakob's cock, but he seems to enjoy that kind of pressure. I quickly get back to work and start to toss Jakob off, my hand is violently pulling and pushing his cock. Erik rests his cock and then pulls it out my butt hole for a few moments and then re-inserts, he began to move his pelvic and start to fuck. In and out and in and out, repeatedly. I try to focus on Jakob penis and not only my anus being torn apart, I speed up tossing Jakob off.

Erik: "Ahhhhhh...Yes, you like it when I fuck your ass, baby?"

"Yes baby, very much."

Jakob: "Do you want my cock, baby?"

"More than anything."

I extend my tongue and skim Jakob's penis, I lick him up and down. My fingers stroke the v area between his cock and balls, gently teasing it, before moving in and kissing his balls and then licking them. Every few moments I have to pause and spit out the pubes, and then I resume licking his balls. I lift up his balls and start licking underneath them, I swallow one ball and bite away at it. Erik is now violently pounding my ass and is screaming his lungs out, he's gone totally pscho on my ass. My cheeks have gone red and I am not sure how much more on an assault they can take.

Erik: "Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh....Fuck yes....Yes, yes."

Jakob too is screaming his lungs out. I withdraw from his balls area and start pushing back and teasing his foreskin, my tongue finds its way in-between the gap my hand has created. I then open my mouth and slide his cock into my mouth and allow my mouth to salivate. I drool all over his cock, but then, Jakob pulls my hair and shoves his cock down my throat.

Jakob: "This is my revenge against women-kind. My stupid bitch girlfriend dumps me, I'll teach you women your place."

I can feel my anus expanding and I am afraid that nothing will remain after Erik leaves. Jakob pushes down my throat and I start coughing and choking. My eyes are ready to burst out of my socket and I start to cry, mascara runs down my face, leaving a dark ink across my face. They are both hurting me, but I try to remain calm and composed, I knew integration was painful but not this painful. I nearly puke when Jakob removes his cock and then re-enters again. He starts to hump and I can do nothing, but try to please him. Being anal and throat fucked simultaneously is not what I expected.

Eventually Erik stops pounding my ass and withdraws his cock. He then slides his manhood into my pussy and resumes the pounding. Jakob slaps my face for crying and then resumes face fucking. My pussy is starting to ache and then, Erik stops and Jakob withdraws. They both exist my body and Jakob lies down on the floor.

Erik: "Aysel, go and stick you pussy on Jakob's cock and sit upwards."

I quickly jump onto his cock, I slide it into my pussy gently and the feeling of his cock sends my sensitive pussy into pleasure mode. The cow girl position, I move upwards and then downwards, I ride him like a horse. It's physically exhausting and I sweat profusely, Erik stand over us two playing with himself. He then moves in and sticks his manhood into my mouth, but unlike Jakob is gentle and doesn't go for deep-throat.

Erik: "Ohhhh fuck yes, best mouth in Berlin."

I suck and swallow in large gulps, while trying to ride Jakob, which proves to be fun and difficult at the same time. The smell of sex is in the air and then I feel an orgasm coming on. My body is heating up, my breasts go red. Sweat crawls down my body and then my moist pussy starts to leak. The leak quickly turns into a flood. My cum sits on Jakob's cock and the sensation of feeling my liquid forces him to cum too. He cums very heavily and my pussy is quickly filled. Erik now starts to cum in my mouth and I swallow as much as I can. It goes down in droves and pretty soon, I have swallowed all of it and my breath reeks of cum.

I clean myself up and leave. When I get home, Gul is waiting for me.

Gul: "Fun was it? I know where you were and what you did and why. Tell me was it worth it, are you fully German now?

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Gul walks over to me and starts to sniff me, "I smell sex. Indeed a threesome. But I also smell doubt and regret. Where will you go now? The difference between being a Turkish girl and trying to be German is, I'm fully in-charge of my body and pleasure. Are you?"