Indica Ch 01

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without expressed permission from the author.

Disclaimer: This is a slow-paced

love

story.

Trust

me, the erotica will present itself when the characters are ready. Do

not

read any further if that isn't what you're looking for.

All participants are 18 years and older.

Trigger Warning

:

Deals with racism, suicide, drug use, and more. Viewers discretion is advised.

•••

Katerina Frazer.

The name felt foreign on her tongue. Katerina Frazer was the woman she knew, the woman she once was before her guilt, her grief became a burden. Before pity threatened to consume her with every waking moment, before all hopes of familiarity were lost; turned to nothingness before her eyes.

Time had been altered, forever. Interchangeable. Remnants of the lively woman she'd seen in photos, watched dancing or laughing in videos, and manifested in her dreams were no more. She'd left and changed. A spirit never to return to the hollow vessel that was her own.

The night of June 23 had broken her, and it was up to

him

to put the pieces back together again before the woman he loved dissipated into naught.

Permanently.

•••

(Short Preface)

A Few Hours Before

June 23

"K.T. You're losing it," Aja chastised, snapping her fingers in Katerina's face, "We're planning our best friend's twenty-fifth birthday party, this is monumental. I need you

here,

I need you present."

Stream-lights, greenery, fruit, fire, galore. Samuel Black was a man of exquisite taste and a shared infatuation with spirituality. They'd spent nearly twenty eight hours attempting to perfect the scenery and create a calm, safe-space for their guests. He'd said he didn't want over-the-top, but Aja believed he deserved more.

"I'm here." She picked up the whistle and blew into it, "See? Enthusiasm."

"Okay smart-ass, you're on drink duty."

Beforehand, Samuel had decided he wanted nothing but black guests. It wasn't a prejudicial preference, it was a safety precaution because of the type of year black people had experienced by the likes of white people. They had understanding white friends who'd understood their sentiments and decided the leave gifts or well-wishes at the door. It was all about

protecting the energy

, as Sam had explained.

Because most of their friends were black

and

queer, a space free of rejection and judgement was important to him. Samuel was a black, gay man himself so he understood just how unforgiving and unrelenting the outside world was toward people of their kind. So, they worked hard to make sure he received exactly that.

Plants, tribal prints, candles, essential oils, and soft stream lights surrounded the outer edge of the room. It smelled of lavender and patchouli. Everything was beyond perfect. So, they waited for the other guests to arrive and mingled before the guest of honor made his entrance.

When he arrived, everyone jumped out and screamed, "Surprise!"

Sam jumped, clutching at his chest before sitting his keys down near the door, "Now, if I would've dropped these keys.."

"Oh, stop being so mean." Katerina couldn't help the girlish scream that fell from her lips as she ran over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and laying her head on his shoulder. "Happy Birthday, Papa Sam. I've missed you."

She'd known Sam since Kindergarten. He'd been seven years older than her, but protected her as if she was his younger sister, and helped raise and mentor her as if she was his own. Aja hadn't come along until she was in third grade, but the three had been inseparable ever since, looking to Sam, the ringleader for guidance. They even called him 'Papa Sam' to signify his leadership.

Though, as life went on and they got busier, the trio was unable to gather as much as they desired to. Thus, forcing them apart. Despite living in different parts of California, the relationship's dynamic never changed and they were able to pick up where they left off because they were

family.

He hugged her back, even tighter if possible. "K.T. Where the hell have you been? I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Life, life happened. Hit me like a ton of bricks." She sighed. "You look amazing though, did you cut your hair?"

Sam was tall, a lot taller than her measurable five-nine, and always wore neutral colors. He'd claimed it was

his brand.

This day, he sported a light-brown fedora, a cardigan to match, and all white underneath to beautifully contrast his dark-skin. He'd even cut his long locs that'd taken

years

to grow out.

"I'm twenty-five, nearly pushing thirty. This is an age of rebirth, of freedom, and those locs were literally

and

figuratively weighing me down. Besides, I'm too gorgeous to withstand the same hairstyle for longer than ten years. Me? A decade? You knew."

She laughed, escorting him deeper into the house as the others greeted him, "I

did

know. But, as the guest of honor, the first shot of the year twenty-five goes to you."

He feigned melancholy, touched. "For me? Y'all are too kind. But, before I do

anything,

I'd like to give a toast to everybody in this room. Please." He waved his hands, holding up his glass.

The chattering room went quiet as everyone grabbed a glass, holding it proudly in the air toward him.

"I've dreamt of the age twenty-five for so long. I believed it would be my prime: appearance-wise, mentally, physically, emotionally, I knew it would be a chance for rebirth. To recreate myself and reinvent my craft and everything I've worked so hard for. But, for those of you, whether you're older than twenty-five or younger, this toast goes to

all of us.

We are black. We are queer. Some of us are religious. So, this world will forever be against any, and everything we stand for. That's why I chose this safe-space themed party, to allow us all a chance to experience the warmth, acceptance, and love the world has

never

grace us with. Protect yourself, protect your friends, pray for them, hold them close, and goddammit, enjoy your life to the fucking fullest because you've got an unspoken burden on your back at all times and you deserve it."

"To all my black mothers and fathers in this room,

love

your babies. I know, you've been taught to be hard on them because the world will be unrelenting and merciless but our parents were

wrong.

They need all of the love and support they can get

inside

our homes, otherwise they'll go searching for it in people who don't give a damn about them. Who want to use and abuse them for personal gain. Teach your children that it's okay to be vulnerable, emotional, angry, queer, black, Asian, Native, Christian, or Muslim. Teach them acceptance, warmth, gracefulness, and even selfishness when time inhibits it. To us!"

"To us!" Everyone cheered, sipping from their drinks and allowing Samuel's words to marinate, to bury themselves in their hearts and souls. Black joy. It was

beautiful.

As the night went on and the fun continued, she watched as Sam rotated around the room, dancing and laughing like the ray of sunshine he was.

Aja walked over, her hand held out for a high five. "We did good. Tonight was a success."

"It was and we did. He's happy, and when Sam's happy..."

"Everyone's happy..or else." Aja finished with a laugh as they clinked glasses.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang on the door. Everyone in the house quieted as she and Aja slowly approached the entrance, confusedly staring at each other as they went. There were two white men were standing before them, their faces contorted in anger and blatant disgust.

"Is there a problem, gentlemen?" She questioned, determined to keep the peace and the situation diffused.

"Are

you

the owner of this house?"

"Yes-" She went to answer before Samuel interjected, gently pushing her inside the house to shield her from their hateful, accusing glares. "No, I am. What might be the problem, sir?"

Fortunately enough, they weren't the police. Authority meant leverage, leverage meant privilege, and privilege meant lives would be taken with no repercussions. They were still white, but unlike cops, they had no authority. Regardless of what happened, they were incapable of doing anything outside of their jurisdiction. They were normal citizens just as anyone in that room was. They were safe.

"We'd appreciate it if you lot could keep it down. Your loud, incessant music is keeping our children up." The man reprimanded, his voice irate and hostile.

A war raged behind Sam's eyes. He hated racists more than he hated anything on this world. A white man had taken the life of his younger brother Joseph and the court ruled it self-defense because it

seemed

like the young boy was armed. He was fifteen. The trauma had carried itself into his life as an adult, and manifested itself in the form of internalized hatred and fear toward their white counterparts and the power they held; still, he was obviously working on overcoming his angst.

What really mattered was invisible to the eyes.

"I sincerely apologize, sir. We'll keep it down."

As the two men conversed, Katerina watched as the man's partner tried to peer around Sam's shoulder to get a better look inside the house. Upon seeing the room full of black people, his demeanor changed, his face contorting with disgust as he spoke into the ear of his partner.

"I'd hate to have to return with the police, boy." The other man finished, eyes menacing as he smirked at them. He turned on his heels, whispering purposefully loud to his friend, "These niggers don't want no trouble."

"Bro, fuck you." Terrence stepped forward. His shoulders were tense as he seethed in anger, "You're the one that called yourself checking my boy at the store for stealing.

Y'all

provoked him, beat him, and cried self-defense when the police showed up. He's been locked up for three years, unable to see his daughter because of your baseless racism. These ain't no

regular

white men, they're snooping ass undercover cops."

"Terrence-" Katerina stepped forward, placing an attentive hand on her brother's shoulder, "Don't do this."

"No! I'm sick of them terrorizing black men on the street for kicks. We aren't afraid of y'all anymore, get that through your-" Terrence absentmindedly took a step forward and before anyone could run, the man had taken his gun from its holster hidden underneath his shirt and pointed it at Terrence.

Acting on pure instinct, Samuel jumped in front of the teenage boy, his mouth opening wide in a silent scream as a bullet pierced his neck.

Everything went

black.

•••

Katerina's body went cold as she recalled, undoubtedly, the

worst

night of her life.

Learn to cherish the simple things in life, Kat the Brat.

Sunsets. Sunsets were one of the simpler things in life that she'd learned to cherish during her time in Kauai, Hawaii.

The sun dipped below the promise of the horizon, the fleeting colors decorating the sand in an array of colors; tranquil and gorgeous as it was, the only thing on her mind were the words of an old, wise friend.

Four long, tedious years had passed since the death of Samuel Elias Black. They'd rioted, mourned, grieved - some harder and longer than others - and life continued on, unwavering in the face of tragedy. Since then she'd received a bachelor's degree in biology, gotten into a seemingly competitive medical school, and was now on the road to becoming an Obstetrician Gynecologist.

Katerina still felt unsuccessful in her pursuit of making Samuel proud. She was in her twenties, twenty-two to be exact and was supposed to be figuring life out her things were at a standstill.

Despite her many achievements, degrees, and progress in her work at an extensive medical school, life seemed to be passing her by at a snail's pace. Her depression taunted and mocked her from afar, unrelenting in its mission to chip away at her soul and consume her whole until there was nothing left to destroy.

Aja Lockhart, soon-to-be Mrs. Royce Kamuela Ramos, has accomplished plenty. So much, in fact, it was extremely difficult to avoid comparing the woman's success to her own. Katerina was immensely happy for her friend, but when it came down to who was doing better in a sense of romance or creating a family of their own, Aja won by a substantial amount

every time.

Even now, as Aja and her husband's entire interwoven family danced and mingled with one another at her engagement party, Kat found herself unintentionally sulking in a beach chair with a nonalcoholic mimosa in hand.

She could

feel

Sam laughing at her from above so she shot a playful middle finger toward the sky in retaliation.

"Someone looks happy," Karena, Keanu's younger sister said as she approached, jerking a thumb toward the couple of the night before kissing her cheek, "If I'm going to be forced to watch my older cousin suck his fiance's face off, there's not nearly enough alcohol here to sustain me."

Katerina watched the happy couple with a smile. They'd met during Aja's spring-break-trip her junior year at UCLA, and the moment Royce stood up and introduced himself at the bonfire, Aja swore she knew he'd be hers.

She could wholeheartedly admit Hawaiian men were a godsend. From their dark, intimidating orbs to their muscular bodies, broad shoulders, and silky raven-colored hair, Katerina would've attempted to snag one if life wasn't attempting to swallow her whole.

When the engaged couple disappeared into the crowd, Kat turned her attention toward the equally beautiful woman beside her, "Tell me about it. Though, we're oddly better off."

She and Karena shared a laugh. "You're right about that. We don't need a repeat of Keanu having to drag our asses from the dance floor after one-too-many mimosas and a couple shots of vodka."

Keanu had become a close friend of hers shortly after Aja and Royce became acquainted. He was a cousin of the Ramos family, and a close friend of Royce's so his company was guaranteed at the many family gatherings they were forced to attend. So, the two were bound to run into one another multiple times over the years, and they decided to become friends instead of awkward acquaintances. She and Aja argued after she'd accused Katerina of trying to use him to replace Samuel, and he was forced to intervene after a few weeks of them refusing to talk to one another. Somehow, he managed to diffuse the situation between the two equally stubborn women which in turn earned him the title of the Ramos-Frazer family peacemaker.

He'd been by her side for nearly three years and she didn't think she could ever even begin to return the abundance of happiness he'd remitted into her life full of solitude, resentment, and self-doubt. He was nothing short of amazing and she thanked God for his lively presence everyday.

At the mention of his name, she stirred, her vision clearing, "I haven't seen him tonight. Do you know where he is?"

She gestured toward the shoreline, taking a sip from her drink. "He's down there with Koa," Karena eyed her. "You've been extremely concerned about him lately, are you.."

"No." She immediately denied, "He's my best friend and he means a lot to me, that's it."

Looking away, she absentmindedly stared until he could feel the weight of her gaze on his back. He shifted slightly, his dark gaze meeting hers in an instant. He smiled, giving her a slight wave over his brother's shoulder and she blushed to the tips of her toes before looking away. To say that they'd kept it strictly platonic was a lie.

Not-so-platonic intimacy was

their

thing

.

The twenty-eight year old man beautifully contrasted everything she stood for. His culture was different, but an amazing, curiosity-inducing different that left her intrigued and wanting to know more. Native-Hawaiian traditions and customs were unlike anything she'd ever experienced, but much like her own, they deeply valued friendship, compassion, and family like no other. Loyalty and empathy were very prevalent qualities in both men and women, while other races seemed to have unfair gender dynamics that tore the prospect of culture and unity apart and left them divided.

Keanu was a very analytical, precise man that seemed to know what he was going to say before he said it and it was something she loved most about him. He was wise beyond his years, and had taught her many important values that she hadn't carried prior to meeting him. He'd taught her things about herself that even

she

was oblivious to. The beauty that man carried both externally and internally never ceased to surprise her everyday of the three years they'd known each other and was bound to continue as they grew impossibly closer.

He was tall, tan, and swift. His skin was flawless and seemingly always heavily moisturized as if kissed by the sun itself. The natural, golden undertone of the corium on his protruding muscles, and the deep baritone of his voice that she felt in her toes whenever he was near were what drew her in. His powerful, sometimes

daunting,

yet tender, and gracious nature was what forced her to stay.

Not to mention, his family members were the kindest, most compassionate people she'd ever met. Both his mother, father, and younger siblings adored her and treated her like one of their own. To be a black woman, accepted by the likes of another race so effortlessly was a blessing that she'd cherish for the rest of her life. They'd been trying to convince her to permanently

move

to Kauai but she was conflicted. Afraid of leaving behind everything she'd ever known. Yes, she'd have Aja, Royce, Keanu, and their entire family but it was a huge step that petrified her.

But,

love?

Love was a very scary, very intimidating subject for them both. She'd left it untouched, while he had dabbled in it in a way that had left him emotionally scarred and heartbroken. She was a virgin, while he was not. There were many areas within that topic in which they differed from one another. So, to go into forbidden territory with a heavily experienced, more knowledgeable man was terrifying. She was willing - more willing than she'd like to admit, to explore it with him, but it would be something they'd have to

thoroughly

discuss beforehand.

To give her heart, mind, body, and soul to a man was menacing.

He'd be worth it.

Within the past four years she'd lost herself thousands of times, but the one thing that remained constant was him.

He was always there. Always

watching

, always her protector, her mentor, her sanctuary.

Oh my God.

Her eyes widened as she realized the truth she'd been burying out of apprehension.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

"Kat, are you alright?" She looked up to find a joyful Aja and Royce standing above her, "You look like you've seen a ghost."

She blinked, shaking her head.

Get it together, Katerina.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Let's go dance, drink, something. I mean, hello? You're getting married!" The two women shared a girlish scream as they waltzed out onto the beach, forgetting about their problems for as long as time would allow.

•••

"Kea, relax. She isn't going anywhere." Koa playfully reprimanded, standing beside him as they watched the women dance wildly. The woman of interest was twirling alongside a young girl while her lacy, white dress with a slit that stopped just below the lining of her black underwear, swayed gracefully behind her.