I Hate Goodbye

I walked toward Marilane's office. I couldn't believe she was actually transferring to Europe. It had taken a while to get to know her but it was worth it. She's smart, articulate and glib. I like her and I remember what an old colonel mentor of mine in the Army once said, 'man who dip pen in company ink get blot on service record.' I kept everything semi-personal with Marilane (pronounced 'mar' 'ee lane' not Mary lane). I tapped on her door and she looked up immediately, "Oh Mitchell I'm so glad you came by!"

"I can't believe you're deserting me," I teased her as she came from behind her desk and hugged me tightly.

"Stop it...you're gonna make me cry."

"I want you to miss me. I like being friends with you and seeing you every day."

She wasn't given to drama. Her face was expressive and beautiful; deep caramel highlighted with full lips and deep brown eyes that sparkled when she smiled. Her skin was smooth and silky like a teenager and belied her true age of 'late-forty- something' as she was prone to say.

We sat in the overstuffed chairs in front of her desk and as we sat she took my hand in hers, "You're a dear friend and I'm gonna miss seeing you every day too, our chats; I'll never forget your generous help when I couldn't see the trees for the mathematical forest," she got quiet and looked at our hand holding, "but mostly just being a friend. Can I call you? Europe is so far away. I hate this part of it -- I won't be able to have an afternoon Snickers bar with you..." she chattered away nervously for some very strange reason...I'd not seen her like this.

I smiled, "Yeah, yeah you say that to all the 'old guys' just to make us feel better."

I smiled at her and she teared up, shaking her head, softly disagreeing through tight lips, "No I don't...you're different." She looked at me and I almost believed her. She had a faraway place in her eyes begging to be visited but I couldn't so I let it rest.

We sat quietly for a few moments holding hands when our shared assistant, Janice Barnwell, came to the door, "Ms. Walsh, Mr. Frisch wants to make sure you're coming down for your reception in ten minutes."

She nodded, "Thank you Janice, please tell him I'll be there." She turned her attention back to me, "Won't you please come? I know you hate good byes and all the corporate bullshit but for me won't you please come?"

I tightened my lips as I thought through it and relented, "Yeah damnit, but for you alone." I resigned myself to this one soiree since it was Mari. This is when I wished I'd kept my Kevlar gear. I stood, "We'd better go before the CFO gets twisted out of shape."

Mari shocked me and threw herself on my neck, "Thank you!"

I sputtered, "You're welcome..."

Every eyeball in the reception turned toward us as we appeared in the doorway. I held back a bit to let Mari walk in ahead of me since she was the honoree of this well-deserved promotion -- she was, in fact, corporate royalty and I was a late-comer to the corporate world vis-à-vis my twenty year Army career. She was gregarious, beautiful and one of the most successful women around -- black or otherwise. I'm white, quiet and extremely competent in statistical methodology -- a skill in high demand but not very glamorous -- one of those essential but non-streetable professions that're not talked about in polite company as is Mari's much heralded profession in financial management.

The corporate gatherings were toxic waste dumps as far as I was concerned and I really hated having to smile through the exercise. Fortunately, Gerard Frisch, the CFO (chief financial officer), was a tolerable fellow who knew when he needed expertise -- he was more than competent and he was also Mari's champion at the top and that was a good thing because one day Mari would be CFO -- she was that good. Frisch walked toward me and extended his hand extended as he got closer, "Mitchell I'm surprised to see you but glad Mari coaxed you out from behind forecasting models."

"Thanks Gerard. She had to do some arm twisting..."

"This promotion for her is long overdue," he conceded.

"I agree with you -- you did the right thing in a world where it is nearly impossible to do the right thing," I smiled to him.

"That's high praise coming from you..."

"It's the truth Gerard. Please watch her back for me," I stared into his eyes - he knew I meant it. I wasn't always a forecasting expert. My military background was airborne infantry operational command. I'd had enough after twenty so I retired in the primary zone for full colonel. I liked commanding soldiers not for the power but because airborne infantry soldiers are very special and to be their commander is an honor granted to only a few.

"You do know I'll watch her..." more of a question than a statement.

I nodded, "I know you will -- thank you."

"May I ask you something personal Mitchell?"

I shrugged, "Sure."

"Did you two ever date?" I didn't answer. I stared at him and he finally nodded, "Got it. I wish a few more of our managers and officers around here were as discreet and honorable as you and Mari."

"You're at the top Gerard. Do something about it," I smiled and encouraged him. "I'm behind you on that one but you've got the juice to get it done."

He stuck out his hand and shook mine genuinely, "Thank you. Again -- high praise from you. I hope I can always live up to your standards of behavior."

"You have to be true to your own standards -- my standards are mine alone and I don't expect anyone to adopt them...it's our responsibility everywhere and anywhere we are to act with integrity and character," I had held forth too long and said too much so I smiled and walked away to get closer to the exit leaving Gerard still standing there.

After about forty minutes I was getting antsy to leave when I felt this hand slip around my arm then the soft, sweet voice of Mari made me smile, "Let's blow this popcorn stand."

I turned to face her as others watched from a little ways away. Our assistant smiled to us and I put my ginger ale on the nearest tray, "Roger that," and headed toward the exit. We both knew the drinking would go on for a while and we didn't want to be around it.

"How about I buy you supper Mitchell?"

She shocked me, "S-Sure...I'd love that!" I blurted out my response.

"I need to grab my purse and lock my office," she smiled.

"I need to turn off the PC and put away some files so I'll meet you in your office in a few," I returned her smile and gave her a wink -- I never do shit like that. I just did though...what the hell?

As I was closing down everything Mari appeared in my doorway, "I'm ready." She smiled a little sideways smile, "Did you wink at me a minute ago?"

My face got hot, "Yeah I did. You seemed to need a little tenderness tonight."

She walked over to me like a little girl walks with her purse in front of her, holding onto the strap with both hands looking at her hands and when she got in front of me behind my desk she dropped her purse on the floor and threw her arms around my midsection, "I did and do need a little tenderness." It sounded as though she was tearing up. Leaving the city you've always known and your family is tough but also leaving a building full of workmates can be intimidating having to reestablish your work patterns and relationships.

I squeezed her to me, "You got all the tenderness you want you don't even have to ask."

She breathed out, "Thank you Mitchell darling."

That was a first. What the hell was going on here? Not that I was opposed to the way she was acting and talking but she's never like this. I didn't push it or argue the point or ask where that came from. I kissed her forehead, "Let's go get some food away from this madding crowd."

We released our hold and she took my hand as I locked my door. Another first. I had no idea where this was headed but I was good with it. She tightened her grip on my hand as we walked toward the parking garage, "How does Thai food sound?"

I smiled, "I like Thai food."

She grinned, "I think you like those beautiful Thai women."

"Guilty. But then you know I like dark women so that's not much of a stretch..."

"I know...you make me jealous when you watch them and your eyes light up..."

"Right. You got all the guys you want panting around you like dogs at a butcher shop door and you're busting my chops about a few beautiful Thai women that I admire from afar..."

"See! That's what I mean you bait me knowing full well that makes me jealous..." she acted as though she was jealous...

"Sure you say that now but thirty years from now when we're an old married couple you'll wish you'd let one of those Thai women make off with me..."

She laughed hysterically, "Bullshit! I'm watchin' you from now on..."

"You're bailin' out on me...you'll be in merry old England and I'll be here with all the black-haired, dark-skinned babes..."

She squeezed my hand hard, "Don't tease me like that..."

"You're gonna meet a good lookin' Brit guy, get married have a busload of little Maris and forget all about me..."

"Not interested..."

"Uh huh...he'll lick his eyebrows, you'll faint dead away and it'll be all over..."

She laughed loud and long, "I'd faint dead away if a man could even touch his nose with his tongue..."

I grinned at her as we neared the garage so I asked her, "Shall we take my truck?" Knowing it would be easier for her to get into her beamer.

"Sure but you're gonna hafta help me in...this skirt is tight."

We got to the truck and I opened her door -- she tried putting her foot on the step rail but just couldn't make the turn so I lifted her at the waist and she hopped backwards giving me a clear view of her pantyhose covered crotch. Didn't see much.

She teased me, "Did you get a peek?"

"Nah...too well covered."

We could trade remarks without fear of being misinterpreted or treated like a double entendre. She feigned surprise, "Want another try?"

I played, "Sure but let's eat first..."

That really got her attention. There was something in this exchange that was going differently from our others. Her playfulness had shifted to sensuality with a coyness that was very interesting. I liked it. The drive went quickly to our favorite Thai restaurant. We were friends with the owner, Mike (his Thai name is Mongkut). He found a table for us in his crowded Midtown eatery - popular with the upwardly mobile types.

As we waited on our food she smiled and asked, "So can you touch your nose with your tongue."

I smiled and touched my nose with my tongue, "Any other requests?"

Her skin got blotchy red around her neck and cheeks -- she wasn't kidding as she fanned her face, "Damn!"

Our food came and our conversation took a decided personal tone as Mari tearfully concluded, "I'm missing you already Mitchell. My decision to go was tainted by not seeing you."

"I won't tell you not to go..."

"Mitchell I just wish this was easy," she chattered on.

I stopped eating and watched her face carefully as she talked, "I'll miss you too Marilane. You know I don't have much time for the corporate types except for you. I guess Gerard is the only other one I really respect."

She nodded, "I know but it's different with us isn't it?"

"Yes," was all I could get out without being conspicuously maudlin.

She picked at her food as we talked and finally she let it out, "Let's go to my place. I need to be alone with us."

I thought about it for a few seconds, "This place is a bit noisy and crowded tonight..."

I paid the bill and we left - riding in silence to her beautiful, top of the building condo; with its wrap around view -- a luxury she allowed herself. We rode the elevator holding hands and not speaking. As we neared the thirtieth floor she handed me her key and we exited into her foyer where I turned off the elevator access and then unlocked the door. She took a few steps inside and turned to face me, "Mitchell I've wanted to be alone with you like this ever since we met ten years ago."

"We've been alone before Mari..."

"No. Not with the way I feel right now. Not like this," she put her arms around me and put her chin on my chest. I couldn't resist her coyness or her forwardness so I kissed her sweet, soft lips in our very first, passionate kiss. Our tongues flicked each other's tongue and we could feel the heat rising between us as our kiss became more wanton and lusty. It was a long, sensuous kiss. One that had been missing between us for ten years but neither took the risk of starting it.

We parted and stared into one another's eyes, "You're so beautiful Mari. That was even better than I expected..."

"Mitchell I adore you and want to make love to you..."

"Are you sure you want to go down this path?" I watched her eyes waver a bit but she knew what she wanted as I did.

She led me by the hand to the Cabrera leather sofa with its panoramic view of the city. She picked up the remote and started the gas fireplace. We sat with her snuggled against me, "Mitchell I know how my family feels about white folk. Even though this is the 1999 nothing has changed for them since Reconstruction. Momma and Daddy, Arkel, Arleta, Hammet and Darla love you to pieces...I just don't know how they'd act if they knew we were intimate." She held our hands out, "It's not like there isn't some white heritage in our family tree...it's just...well..."

"It's hard to do something that goes against what you've been raised to believe isn't it?" I could feel the hesitancy in her words and the tension in her body, "You know I'm a southerner just like you and I don't have a problem with a woman's race...but then my family doesn't have a history of being slaves -- our ancestral family was poor and fought on the side of the Union which made them outcasts for a while. It doesn't give me any privilege nor should it garner contempt but we weren't very well liked because of our Yankee heritage -- we were traitors and now you're on the verge of being called a 'race traitor.' Feels awful doesn't it?"

She nodded as she kicked her shoes off, "Yes. Confession time. I've never kissed a white guy."

"How was it for you?" I teased her.

"Stop it...I'm scared to death right now..."

Tears streaked down her face and I quickly took her easily into my lap, "I didn't mean to hurt you..."

She panted in her breath, "You didn't...I'm just scared."

"We don't have to do this..."

She raised her head off my chest and kissed me slowly. Her tongue snaked into my mouth with heat and passion. I kissed her long and hard my tongue lashing her mouth, tongue and teeth as our lips melted under the heat of our longest and most blistering kiss. We broke our kiss I could feel my heart racing, her nostrils were flared and her eyes were wild, "Oh God. Mitchell I have to have you I can't live another minute without feeling your naked body between my legs..."

We kissed again as I began exploring her body with my hands while she panted and sucked on my tongue alternating trying to speak with trying to get undressed. I slid my hands under her suit jacket and found bare skin as she moaned under our kiss. I began massaging her lower back working my way slowly up to her bra hooks reviving the lost art of unhooking a bra with one hand shocking her as her ample, fleshy breasts were freed while my other hand began unbuttoning the front of her jacket. We'd reached the point of no return as I lifted her arms and pulled her jacket free, watching her beautiful tits fall out of her bra as it dropped to her waist and she shucked it free. I lifted her titties and admired their beauty, then leaned forward and sucked the nearest nipple into a hard nib then turning my attention to the other tit I squeezed the hard nipple and suckled the other one, slurping and lapping like a dog at a bowl as she lay back on the sofa.

She began pulling on my necktie knot and I was trying to tug her zipper open and we finally fell onto one another laughing, "Hell this should be simple..."

"I know!! Let's go to my bedroom," we stood and her clothes began slipping down as the zipper did get opened. She started laughing and turned to me, "How did you do that?"

"I don't know...you make me crazy, woman..."

She stepped out of her skirt and left it on the floor and I followed her to the platform bed in the middle of the turret-style window with another panorama of the city -- stunning and sensual. I caught up with her and lifted her easily into my arms as she wrapped hers around my neck and began our kissing again. I found the edge of the mattress and lay her down, hooking my fingers in her panty hose waistband sliding them down with little effort bringing her thong with them revealing her pussy hairs shaved into a heart. I looked up at her and smiled, "Really?"

"I've been planning this for a while..."

"Mari...I...I...well..."

"Shhh," she leaned up and put her finger on my lips, "I've been shaved since Christmas when you got stranded in that damned snowstorm in Vienna and I couldn't get to you..."

"That's why you kept calling me wondering when the flight was leaving..."

Her skin flushed hot and splotchy red, "Guess I'm pretty brazen huh?"

"Not at all, I'm very blessed to have someone care this much for me. We've always felt like sanctuary...an oasis in the worst of the corporate desert."

She pulled me toward her and I kissed her hard and passionately, she was squeezing my ass cheeks as she spread her thighs letting me between them...my dick got hard instantly. She was naked and I was fully clothed. She reached between us and unzipped my pants pulling on my hard dick. I stood up while she held onto my dick and then deftly sucked me into her mouth trying to swallow me all the way down her throat, she gagged and gulped some air and swallowed hard. I felt my dickhead at the back of her throat as she rolled her tongue around the shaft, "Oh gawd Mari! That...is...fucking wonderful...awww...yeah."

Then she pulled off my dick, "Let's get you naked..."

I undid my tie and threw it across the room, unbuttoning my shirt while Mari undid my pants and yanked down my briefs, stopping to squeeze and massage my balls, my dick wagging in her face...she was very skilled slowing to kiss my dickhead while she busied herself. I kicked off my shoes and peeled off my socks then pushed her backwards on the bed with a squeal, "Mitch!"

"Lay back Mar, I want to taste your pussy," I slid my hand down to feel her soaking wet pussy, "damn Mar you're soaking wet..."

"Mitch just fuck me let's not play..."

I knelt down on the floor between her thighs and buried my face in her pussy. I pushed my 'athletic tongue' into her hot, wet cunt wiggling and twisting it until she squealed, "Ahhh...damn...now...dick...give me your...dick..."

I kept licking and swabbing out her pussy as she began getting into the rhythm giving up sexual control. She was used to being in charge and this wasn't going her way. She tasted wonderful as she kept pouring out pussy juice...I licked as fast as I could but it pooled a bit under her ass and she began moaning and rocking her smooth pussy against my chin, nose and tongue harder and harder until she rocked up letting out a wail, "OHHHH GAWD!!!!! CUMMING!!!" Her body collapsed backward, her hands on my head, her fingers buried in my hair. I got up keeping my tongue on her belly I traced a wet line through her heart-shaped pubes to her beautiful, abundant titties with their dark aureoles and hard nipples, her skin had flushed a deeper caramel with the blood flooding her skin. My dickhead pressed against her pussy and she reacted instinctively drawing her legs up smiling, "Yeah, now'd be good..." I pushed my dickhead inside her deep folds at the entrance and then lifted the head up and down her clit. She sat up quickly, watching my dick getting ready to slide into her belly, "I wanna watch this baby," she was breathless...