I Didn't Deserve This

Ever since Jim, my black lover and I have been sneaking around, I have always been honest and up front with him. I did keep a night with an old friend a secret from him for about a month, but I end up telling him about it and it almost caused our break up.

I tend to tell him more about my life than he does but ever since my little "cheat night" he has opened up to me more - so I thought. He told me the night that I told him my friend and I that he had a chance to be with "another woman" who has been trying to get him to meet with her, but he turns her down and he tells her that he can't cheat on his wife. In the meantime, he is cheating on his wife with me. He said she comes into his place at least once a week and tries to hit on him. He told me that he could have her anytime he would say yes but he didn't want to ruin what we have together.

I always thought that Jim was honest with me because I asked him as we started our "affair" if he ever had an affair before and he said yes and it was very brief and it wasn't working out so he ended it. I asked him if I was doing anything or going down the same path and he said that our relationship is different and I never asked in what way. I tell him when I am having problems and not feeling like myself and he is always a comfort for me and helps me get through it every time.

About a month ago, we were meeting in a new place for the first time and I had picked up a little "gift" for him like I always do and he told me to put it in his truck. In the back seat was a small gift box like you would get jewelry in and wondered who it was for but I didn't ask. I figured it was for his wife and I really can't tell him not to buy her anything now can I. We had a wonderful meeting and as always the oral and vaginal sex was as great as it always is. He just knows how to get to me. Those large black hands cupping my titties and then sucking them and nibbling on my nipples makes me wet and then makes me come every time. When we are apart I play with my pussy and my titties pretending it's Jim and I end up so wet.

When we were saying good night, he threw his sweatshirt on the back seat near the box and it fell out onto the ground. He quickly picked it up and put it back as if he didn't want me to see it and maybe say something like "where's my gift??" which I wouldn't do. Little did he know that the gift tag came off and was still on the ground. I slyly covered it with my foot and then picked it up and put it in my jacket pocket - why, I was just curious I guess. I know his wife's name is Mary so why should I think that it would be for someone other than her or maybe one of his 3 daughters, of which I know their names as well.

He walked me to my car and we kissed good bye and he said he would text me as usual that evening. We text each other every day and keep it low key as not to get my husband or his wife wondering about who we are sending texts too. I text several friends in the evening his blend in with the rest.

I waited until he got into his truck before I took the gift tag out of my pocket. He waited for me to pull away first in case I had an issues or needed any help. We are on the highway, side by side for a few miles until he has to turn off to go home. I kept on driving but pulled off at the nearest gas station to get gas and to see what the gift tag said. I pulled the tag off the seat next to me and it was address to Tiffany and that is not his wife, any of his daughters, nieces or anyone that he has even mentioned to me. I started to fill up with tears, paid for my gas and pulled away.

All the way home I cried and wanted to know who she was. I was so upset and to think that he just fucked my brains out and I sucked his cock before we fucked and then I swallowed, as I always do, his large load of hot cum. I wasn't going to text him that night and he told me he would text me first because he had to pick up his medications and then drop off something at his buddy's house. Buddy I thought, my ass, it's another girl and I was fuming. I cooked dinner when I got home and fed myself and my husband and just picked on my food and then said I was going to lay down because I had a long day in work and I was tired.

As I always do I keep my cell close and an hour later Jim sent me a text telling me he had a great time and is looking forward to the next meeting next week. I didn't want to answer him but I did. I acted as if nothing happened but I was a little short with him and said I wanted to get to bed because I was tired. The next few days it was as usual but I kept my texts spread further apart than normal. We were discussing our next meeting and he wanted to go where we went the last time and I was fine with it. I would do all the same as always but I did decide I would confront him.

After my little infidelity, I told him that I can't stop him if he wanted to see others besides me and he couldn't really stop me either. I told him I told him I felt guilty for "cheating on him.

The day of our meeting came and I made sure I brought the gift tag with me. We had our usual oral sex and then we lay together for a bit and then have intercourse. After we had another great fuck, I wasn't sure if I still wanted to bring it up but it tore me apart for an entire week in which I hardly ate or slept. While he was lying there, I pulled out the gift tag and in tears, I asked him "Who is Tiffany??". He had looked like he seen a ghost. He asked me where I got the tag from and I told him it fell off the gift last week that he didn't know that I saw that it fell to the ground and that I saw it as I put his gift in the back seat before we went about our business.

He couldn't speak at first and then he actually broke down and told me that Tiffany was the woman that was coming into work and he lied that he didn't want to see her. He said that she was beautiful and had a nice set of titties just slightly larger than mine and I was 44DD. I started to cry and told him that I know I can't stop him but he lied to me. At least I came clean and he said he couldn't help it. He felt he had to see what she was all about. He was seeing her for a few months and admitted to me that he was starting to fall in love with her.

I told him that I never wanted to see his black ass ever again and he begged me not to stop seeing him. He told me that I was good for him and he loved spending time with me and our sex was great. I told him that he never tells me that he loves me but he told me he's falling for her. I didn't want to hear anymore about his love for Tiffany. I told him that I didn't want him to call me, text me or send me any more pics and videos to my phone and never to bother me again. He was very upset I could tell and just kept asking me to forgive him as I did when I told him about my little "fling". I don't screw around with my friend anymore, but we are still friends.

It's been 3 months since Jim and I have spoken and he does send me at least 2 texts every day. I have to admit that I miss him as my friend and as my lover and am tempted to forgive him and ask to see him again. I don't know if I want his lying cheating ass in my bed anymore. I know I did it once to him and I didn't continue seeing my friend as he sees Tiffany. I am fighting to stand my ground and not give in but it's getting much harder now.

What should I do?? I came clean and honest and he eventually forgave me. I don't know if I could ever forgive him, but he lied about his relationship with her.

He left me a message this morning asking me to meet him on Monday night at "our place" and to let him know tomorrow night. I don't know what to do but I know I don't want to give him up. He is first and foremost a very good friend but he is an excellent lover and I miss that. I don't make love to my husband anymore and he still makes love to his wife, so he actually was screwing 3 women all at once. Now I am jealous of his wife and Tiffany. I will let you know what I decide and what is going on with Jim and I. I do admit it; I really and truly miss Jim more and more everyday.