When I woke up the sun was shining brightly through the window closest to my bed. Its light was what actually woke me from enjoying a dream that I know I shouldn't have been having anyway. Brandon didn't seem to be fazed by it though; even as it shined directly onto his face, he continued to sleep.
Looking at him, I felt a tug on my heart while watching him sleep. He was beautiful to me, in so many ways. It's funny too and I smiled sadly at the thought while still looking at him. I never would have thought that I would or even could have fallen in love with him. I had though and now everything was all fucked up. After another minute of my eyes taking in the sight of him I got up to close the curtains.
I was wide awake now and couldn't go back to sleep if I wanted to so I took a shower then pulled on a t-shirt and a clean pair of jeans and socks. I only wore shoes when I needed them and since I had no plans of leaving the house anytime soon I left them off.
After that I went into the kitchen to make some breakfast. When I finished eating I did what I had really wanted to do since opening my eyes an hour ago. I grabbed my guitar then went into the living room where I could write and play. Making music was my entire life. I loved nothing more, well maybe something but that's really part of the problem in the first place. The biggest part, if I am honest with myself.
Anyway, I had been working on a song the night before. Luckily it was still in my head and filling my emotional grid so that I could still write about it easily. I was able to pick up right where I left off as images of my dream still lingered in my mind. It didn't take me long to finish, I was so overwhelmed with emotion that the chords just flew onto the paper. I was practicing what I had so far when I noticed that Brandon stood in the door listening to me.
He had sort of a questioning look on his face. His hair was still wet from the shower he'd obviously just had and he wore only a pair of jeans. I had never ached from just looking at someone before I met Brandon. I couldn't explain to myself why just the sight of him made my heart hurt.
I told him to stand exactly where he was so that I could grab my camera from its resting place in my bedroom closet. I found it and went back to the living room. Standing in front of him, I took about a dozen shots with him being the perfect model.
When I was done he pulled me into him for a kiss; I noticed he was backing me up onto the couch and as I fell onto it he fell with me. He was still kissing me as he slowly began pulling off my shirt. We made love for over an hour before he had to get ready to go to work.
After Brandon left I got back to working on my song. The only thing is that once my mind had become involved with what I'd been doing on the couch with Brandon the feeling for the song had faded back into my subconscious.
Frustrated, I called Hunter and told him I had something for him to listen to. I then went over to his place. We went into his garage/studio that was equipped with everything one would need to make music. This is where we spent most of our free time making music with two of our other friends with whom we'd formed a band.
I played what I had for him while he just listened not saying a word. My head was bent down over my guitar while I played but as I finished I looked up at him to get his reaction. He looked blown away.
"Well?" I smiled brightly as he just continued to look at me as if he was mystified.
He finally just shook his head as if to clear it.
"Listen to this." he said. His voice coincided with the look on his face.
He went over to his piano and played a melody that had my mouth hanging open. Now I understood why he had been looking at me as he had when I'd played my bit.
"I know right." he said looking at me smiling.
It was scary how similar the sounds were. He told me that he had been working on his for about a week, which meant he had three days on me.
We decided to just work on the entire thing together. I was able to get back into the mode I had been in earlier as we worked on it for the next few hours. It all came together beautifully. By the time the rest of the guys came over to practice we'd performed the song more than once. Both Hunter and I were in love with it.
It was around six o'clock when Camille came out into the garage telling me that she needed her husband back. My first instinct was to roll my eyes; not in that I'm annoyed kind of way but in a deeper, I hate this kind of way. It was never a statement directed to the rest of the guys, just me.
Hunter and I exchanged glances, something that we had gotten very good at over the years. I knew exactly how he expected me to respond so I pasted on a smile and said okay to her in a good natured way that I wasn't, in any way, feeling. Even after all the time that had passed I still felt a little sting at hearing her call Hunter her husband.
She waited in the doorway while I gathered my stuff and apparently "allowed" him to walk me out to my car. We didn't acknowledge what had just happened. It was nowhere near the first time and wouldn't be the last. Instead we talked about when we would see each other again.
Before I got in my car to drive away I watched him walk back to the house, to her. As if he knew I was standing there watching he turned to me and winked with a silly grin on his face that made me grin right back and oddly enough enabled me to work the lock on my car door so that I could get in and go home.
When I got to the house it was empty. I sat in the dark on my couch with only candles for light listening to the music Hunter and I had put together and feeling words that I didn't want to write on paper, words that made me sad.
Brandon came home a little later with pizza and beer because that was his idea of what making dinner was. Tonight it was his turn. When I heard his car pull into the driveway I had gotten up to turn the lights on. I didn't want what I was doing to raise too many questions or maybe it was just my guilty conscience again.
Brandon showered while I waited for him in the kitchen. I made a salad to go with the pizza while I waited. We ate dinner with my music playing in the background. I wanted his opinion.
*****
As Brandon sat at the dinner table munching his pizza, drinking his beer and listening to the music he made a mental note of what he thought. He felt the music sounded very sad; sad enough that he could probably do without listening to it any longer, but he only told Keera that it sounded a little wistful.
*****
I could live with Brandon's assessment. After he told me what he thought I nodded my head and agreed that it kind of was slightly melancholy. He surprised me with his next question. I had to avoid his deep brown gaze and chew my food slowly in order to not choke on it from my suddenly tight and dry throat.
"Have you thought of any words yet?"
"No. not yet." I told him.
It wasn't exactly a lie. It was the easiest truth I could come up with. It took us all of five minutes to clean the kitchen and then we cuddled on the couch to watch some action flick that I had no interest in. Brandon was crazy about them.
I fell asleep and woke up in the same spot tucked under his arm. He wasn't even watching the same movie. I decided I needed to go to bed. I wasn't too surprised when he shut the TV off and followed me.
We got into our bed and though Brandon's hand had been making its way up my shirt I was still feeling the call of sleep. Just as I was about to tell him to give me a rain check the house phone rang. As I reached for the phone his fingers stilled.
"Is this a bad time?" I heard Hunter ask as I answered the call in a sleepy voice.
"Uh kinda." I told him. I looked back at Brandon and mouthed to him that is was Hunter.
"Okay, I will call you back later, tomorrow." Hunter sighed heavily.
