Today, I stop lying to myself and I admit what I am. My name is Steve Etienne, and I'm a big and tall Black man living in the Province of Ontario, Canada. I'm of Haitian descent and moved to Canada from the island of Haiti in the summer of 2002. Presently I study Law at Carleton University. I discovered the world of BDSM three years ago and I only recently admitted to myself that I am a submissive. You've got to understand that in my community, sexual differences aren't readily tolerated. I mean, if my friends knew I was into chicks with strap-on dildos, they would think I was a fruit for sure. They cannot accept a Black man who's into this shit. I'm just saying, that's the way they are in most Black communities.
Finding a woman who accepts me for who and what I am, now that's something I dream of. I was going out with this tall, beautiful young Black woman named Tatiana Fadun and I thought she was the one. The gal has an MBA from the University of Ottawa's Telfer Business School and she works for the Canadian government. I thought I hit the jackpot when she agreed to go out with me. Unfortunately, we weren't as compatible as I thought. Tatiana never had time for me, and she was also constantly bugging out about the differences between our cultures. The lovely Tatiana comes from the Republic of Congo and as I mentioned before, I was born and raised in the island of Haiti.
After living in Canada for ten years, I became a naturalized citizen. By then I had lost any trace of a foreign accent. I am twenty four years old. You'd never believe that I was born elsewhere. I love life in Canada. I think it's the most beautiful country in the world. I love its growing diversity and culture. The City of Toronto is my favorite place in the world but I chose to study at Carleton University in the City of Ottawa because there are too many distractions in T.O. Tatiana has been in Canada longer than I have but she still has an African mentality. Africans have this weird thing they do, man. They kind of look down on Black people from places like the United States, Latin America and the Caribbean. Why? They consider us the unwanted of Africa because we're the descendants of slaves that got sold to the white people for plantations in the New World. Africans consider themselves superior to Afro-Caribbean people. And Tatiana was no exception. That and the fact that we weren't compatible in the bedroom led to the demise of our relationship. I guess Tatiana Fadun and I simply weren't meant to be. After our split, I was crestfallen, big-time.
A dilemma that many young Black men face today comes with our choices of mate in this life. A lot of today's young Black women think that Black guys aren't worth shit. They worship the ground that white males walk on and yet, they get mad when they see a Black male even talking with a white woman. Double standard much? Growing up, I always thought I would end up with a Black woman. A beautiful Black woman whom I would meet at school or at church, someone with the same values and goals. We'd get our college degrees, get good jobs, get hitched and raise a wonderful family. Oh, yeah. I envisioned the house in the suburbs, the son and daughter, and even the mangy dog. Sadly, it wasn't meant to be. I've never been lucky with Black women. Tatiana left me because she didn't find me exciting. The chick I dated before her, a Nigerian gal named Monique Adewale, left me for a white guy. Yeah, am I lucky or what?
I never really considered dating outside my race. I simply didn't consider myself the kind of Black man that White women would be into. They usually seem to be into Black guys who are larger than life. The alpha male type of Black guy. I'm not into sports or stuff of that nature. I like comic books. I read law books for fun. I love chess and video games. White girls seldom showed any interest in guys like me. To be honest, I was never really into them. Tatiana was gone, and so was Monique. From time to time I ran into them. Tatiana is dating a Congolese guy now. As for Monique, she's moved on to a new white guy. I guess she got bored of the old one. Whatever. As for me, I decided to stop worrying about relationships for a while.
I concentrated on work and school. All I wanted to do was focus on school and graduate. I had a year left in the bachelor of arts in law at Carleton University. Then I'd go to law school. Probably at the University of Ottawa or York University. They're among the best law schools in the region of Ontario. The University of Toronto has a good law school but it's expensive as hell, you know? Yeah, I was doing pretty good in my classes. I was ranked among the top five percent in the Law program. Not bad. If I could maintain it during my senior year, I'd be golden. It's too bad that Carleton University doesn't have a law school. I love Carleton but it's not as big as some of the other universities in the province. My hard work brought me a lot of personal satisfaction, but I basically had no sexual or romantic life.
One time, I came across this website online. It's all about the fetish lifestyle. There were millions of people on it. From all walks of life. Blacks. Whites. Asians. Hispanics. Aboriginals. Arabs. All faiths. Christians. Jews. Muslims. Pagans. Buddhists. Sikhs. Scientologists. Wow. I was amazed. I've always been into BDSM porn and now there was a social network for people into BDSM. Sounds good to me. I happily joined, and created a profile for myself. I didn't check out the site for a couple of days because I was busy with work and church, but when I came back, I had some greetings from two sources. The first greeting came from a Mistress who was with the fetish-oriented social website's welcoming committee. The second one came from someone calling herself Mistress Samirah.
Mistress Samirah's profile on the fetish social website was quite interesting. Judging by her pictures I thought she was Hispanic. She was tall, with light bronze skin, long curly Black hair and light brown eyes. The top half of her face was covered by a mask. I was wrong with my initial assumption. She was not Hispanic, she was Arab. In her query she asked me if I was looking for a dominatrix. I said yes, and got a reply right away. Mistress Samirah sent me a friend request, which I accepted. We began chatting. Like me, she lived in the City of Ottawa, and she was really experienced. Her profile was full of hot pictures. In most of them she was by herself, in lavish surroundings, wearing leather outfits and wielding whips and sex toys. In some of the other pictures, she was with other people, both men and women. Although their eyes were blurred, I noticed that most of her submissive types were dark-skinned men and women. I noticed a short and slim Tamil Indian guy, a butch-looking tattooed Chinese woman, a chubby Black woman and an Arab guy. Quite the diverse cast, that's for sure.
