He isn't yours. You aren't his
.
She repeats the mantra over and over, until her mind begins to recall the words without summoning them to the forefront.
She holds her breath for a moment, lungs burning for air, but denying herself the sweet rush of oxygen into her body. She knows the feeling all too well.
She chokes out a sob, finally letting cool air into your lungs. She remembers just how well she can recollect the sensation of breathlessness; her inner walls contract from the memory. The flash of moist lips and tongues battling for control, hands groping for tender flesh invades her mind. She forces the images down, resisting the urge to the scratch the undeniable itch of sexual frustration.
The twinkling band of white gold around her finger is a reminder that she's happy, content, blissful. All she's ever wanted, she has. Anything she needs is provided. But
he
finds a way into her thoughts, into the subconscious part of her mind supposed to be reserved only for her husband.
It has to end
, she tells herself. The 20 minute drive (and the bottle of Guinness she downed) helps her garner the strength to put a stop it all. She practices her spiel along the way, and is prepared to repeat it to his face...if only she can muster the courage to knock.
Standing on his stoop, she closes her eyes, pulling her fist back from his door. She sucks in air, then releases it; her breath visible. She wishes she could knock, if only to get out of the cold. Her thoughts are engulfed by the warmth of his home, his arms, his bed. The touch, the exquisite torture of his tongue dragging down the column of her throat sears her flesh and brings her closer to the release she's imagined, but denied herself. In that moment, she begs for it. An almost inaudible 'please' coaxes his hips to pick up pace, pounding her to oblivion. The build was only the prelude, the fire that shoots through her causes her to gasp and hold on to his shoulders for dear life. Her walls spasm, as she digs her nails into his skin, leaving half-moons imprinted there.
It is never tender with him. He is always hurried. There are always bruises in unseen places she finds days later. But she's sure she's left evidence of their time together on him as well. The thought makes her smirk triumphantly, and then frown.
She hates herself for loving it.
"I can't do this." She shakes her head of the memories, pressing her palm flat against the wood.
Just as she's convinced herself that another day would work better for her, the door flies open. They're staring at each other, she with mortification; he with knowing indifference.
She's immobile, glued to the spot, staring at him and wondering why she thought this would be a good idea.
"I'm done," she blurts, jutting her chin up defiantly.
He leans against the door jam and folds his arms over his chest, amused by her words. The corner of his lip quirks up and it annoys her that she finds herself wanting to run the pad of her finger across it.
"Oh really?"
His condescending tone has her seeing red. She finally realizes why she wanted to end it in the first place.
"Yes! I'm done with you, with this," she shouts and gestures between them. "Whatever the hell this is. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm married for god's sake!"
He nods his head, listening intently to her monologue. All the while, his expression never changes, which only enrages her.
"I'm serious!" Her foot stomps and she reminds herself of her 5-year-old niece during a temper tantrum. This only adds to the humiliation that's been growing since she stepped out of her car, but she can't stop herself.
"I'm not coming here anymore, so take a good look, because this is the last time you'll seeβ"
"Shut up."
Baffled that he spoke at all, her brows furrow. "Excuse me?"
"Shut up."
He steps forward, his five-ten frame looming over her. If she didn't know him as she did, she would have been intimidated by his menacing stature. His brown eyes dilate, taking her in, swallowing any coherent thought she previously had.
His hands palm her face, bringing her flush against his chest. Their lips are inches apart. He regards her evenly before his lips graze over her face, trailing down to the delicate skin below her ear. She sucks in a breath, unprepared for what he says next.
"I don't care about the situation." His voice is heavy with desire; his breath hot against the shell of her ear. "When my tongue is inside you, you're fucking mine."
She bites her lip, unwilling to argue the negative. She's drunk with want and all denial falls flat as she crushes her lips against his. Hooking arms under her jean-clad thighs, he lifts her and allows her to wrap her beautifully long legs around his waist.
His lips are frenzied, trying to commit her taste to memory. His grip on her hair is possessive as he tugs her head back to expose her throat. She feels his teeth scrape against the sensitive deep mocha skin, and then lap at what she knows will be an ugly bruise in the morning.
Her mind is racing, but not registering her own actions. She hears him kick closed the door, bringing them both into the warm confines of his home. It smells of him, the musky scent of his Armani cologne only heightens her lust-filled cognitions. It's all around her, possessing her every awareness, so much so that it's consumed by only him. She wants him inside her, stretching her walls, stroking her so intimately and touching her so deeply that she feels it even after he's coated her insides with his seed.
She feels the wall at her back, and the unmistakable weight of his arousal pressing into her. She's been here too many damn times to count, and each time it feels new.
He puts an inch of space between them so he can tug her jacket from her arms and toss it uncaringly over his shoulder. This gives her a moment to catch her breath, to try to think clearly when everything inside her is telling her to reach for his lovely ash-colored cock and bring them both to release.
"I can't," her protest is replaced with a moan as he attaches his lips to her throat and sucks languidly.
"You can, and you will." He's muffled against her skin, but she feels the vibrations and seriousness of his words. "God, I want to taste you so badly."