Marc Albert Mathieu is the name. I was born and raised in the town of Cap-Haitien in the Republic of Haiti, and moved with my family to the Ontario region of Canada in the summer of 1999. Thirteen years later, I'm a business administration student at Carleton University in the City of Ottawa, getting ready for a brighter tomorrow. It's the beginning of 2012, I am twenty four years old, and bored out of my damn skull. Life at Carleton University sucks ass, man. I need more excitement. I don't know too many people on campus and lately, it seems like everybody's getting more action than me. What's a brother to do?
Sometimes, I find that you have to go and make your own fun. I was chilling in the Mac Odrum Library, wondering when my luck would turn when I ran into Marie Benoit, this chick I knew from class. I first met Marie when I was hanging out with my buddy Abdullah, a Black guy from Dakar City in the Nation of Senegal. We were talking in French, going on about some big-booty Black chick who just walked by. I felt pretty cool saying this to Abdullah in class because I assumed we were the only French-speaking students nearby. Carleton University doesn't have a lot of francophone students. Most of them go to the University of Ottawa. Me? I'm Haitian, so I speak French, end of story.
Guess who interrupted Abdullah and I during our raunchy musings? A tall, chubby White chick with quite possibly the biggest ass I've seen in a long time. Marie Benoit. She sat down next to us, and said she had way more booty than the average Black chick. This bold gal addressed us in French, of course. Or what passes for French among Canadians from the region of Quebec. Abdullah and I were too stunned to respond. I looked Marie up and down and smiled. I told her the three words every woman always longs to hear. You. Are. Right.
Marie smiled, then asked me where I came from. That's something I get asked a lot in the Confederation of Canada. I've lived here for more than a decade. I became a citizen of Canada seven years ago. Hell, I even watch professional hockey! I only speak my native tongue of Haitian Creole with my parents and the few Haitian friends I've got at school. I speak English without an accent because I've lived in Ontario for so damn long. I speak the flawless French of the educated Haitian, not the funny-sounding crap they speak down in the Province of Quebec. Yet people are always asking me where I came from.