Author's Note: Excuse the lateness. I'm still working on getting my laptop fixed, among other little problems. I'm already working on Chapter 4 and I promise not to have a long gap between chapters any more. Thanks so much for your patience! ~n4m.
********
The cool night air was an eye-opening shock to his system, the jolt that snapped him back to reality. He was very aware that his movements were buoyed by a pair of small hands on his hips.
They were especially strong, considering he wasn't the lightest guy even without the extra sixty pounds of flab currently hanging on his frame.
The grip was firm yet feather-light, as if she was hesitant to touch him. Yes, he knew it was Arden. He was a little surprised she was being so helpful, considering he'd been a giant douche to her earlier.
Grady stopped walking, his abruptness causing Arden to bump into him. "Oof!" she exclaimed. "You gotta warn a girl before you do shit like that." Arden steadied herself before glancing up at him. "I won't ask if you're okay. It's too cliché and we both know the answer."
He nodded. "What the hell was she doing there?" It was the million dollar question and the one that threatened to explode his brain. Of all the hipster clubs, in all of New York, she had to sashay into THAT particular one. Grady wasn't sure what made him feel worse: finally seeing her after three months of withdrawal or seeing her with someone else.
Not just anyone...a fucking musician. How goddamn cliché was that?
Arden was tempted to slap him out of his stupor, but decided Life had already beaten him properly that night. "Dude...do you want to get something to eat?"
Grady glanced down at her. Was she actually being...nice to him? His look must have said it all because she nodded vigorously. "Yeah, yeah I know I'm actually being nice but I thought you'd prefer to cry in a booth somewhere instead of out on the street in front of the entire city."
"Yeah," he replied, his voice hoarse. "I could go for some food." His only other alternative was hiding out in his apartment, drinking alone. Somewhere in the fucked up darkness that was his brain the logical center was screaming "Bad idea, Kade".
"Grady!" a familiar voice called from behind them. Grady cringed inwardly. Despite his initial misgivings he knew Tony had nothing to do with Edie being there. But he wasn't ready to face him yet. He didn't want to be a part of a conversation that involved rehashing whatever the hell just happened in that bar.
With a long sigh, he steeled his emotions, locking his thoughts away from his ever-observant friend.
Tony njogged to where they were standing, concern marring his handsome features. "Dude," he said, trying to catch his breath. "I just came out to check on you. Are you okay man?"
Arden shot him a look. "Oh yeah, he's perfectly peachy."
Tony wrinkled his nose. "You don't think I had anything to do with this too, do you?" He groaned. "I had no idea she would be there. I didn't even know they were dating."
She shook her head. "How could you have known? I don't think anyone would have predicted this. It all seems like a really shitty coincidence. But listen, I'm gonna take him out of here. He's a little shell-shocked."
"Okay. Here's my number just in case." He handed Arden his business card. Tony turned his attention back to Grady. "Grade, I'm really sorry man. I had no idea..."
"It's okay, man" Grady replied. "It's not your fault." He quickly fist-bumped Tony and shot him a weak smile. "I just gotta get the fuck out of here."
Tony nodded. "I hear you, dude. Call me later. We'll talk. I'd go with you guys, but I gotta stay and wrap things up with the...well, I just got to get back in there." With a wave he was off. Grady shut his eyes. The day felt too damn long.
An overwhelming wave of exhaustion flooded his system. All he wanted was a fattening meal and a long nap.
"Grady?" Arden was looking up at him expectantly. "Are you ready?"
His nod was vigorous. "Yeah. Let's go."
They started down the street. Grady wasn't sure exactly where they were headed, but as long as they moved far away from the Ballroom, it was okay with him. The silence was deafening and uncomfortable. There was no doubt about it—she made him twitchy and ridiculously uneasy. It had been awhile since he was alone with the fairer sex. He was unsure of what to do, so he did nothing.
Arden was also unsure how to act around him. Normally they'd be on Round Three already, sniping at one another and throwing barbs. But in his current state, teasing just didn't feel right. He looked like someone ripped out his heart through his mouth.
It wasn't that she liked him or anything; she just couldn't fathom guys like Grady. He seemed like a decent enough dude. What the fuck he was doing that Brazilian primadonna, she'd never understand.
She didn't know Edie; Stevie had mentioned in passing that Dylan had a new, obnoxious twat of a girlfriend. But as the lead singer of an up-and-coming band Dylan's infatuations never seemed to last past the first chorus that was the song of his love life.
"So what do you feel like eating?" she asked.
"Don't know about you, but I'm starved." Grady slowed his pace, his gaze meeting her brown eyes. "You don't have to do this."
"I know." Her response was simple but brooked no argument. "So I was thinking pizza."
"Why pizza?"
"Well we're standing in front of a pizza joint and I'm tired of walking. Besides, I'm cold." She hugged her black leather jacket closer to her frame.
Grady shrugged. "It's cool with me."
Arden stepped inside the building. Spagnoli's was a pretty well known spot for Brooklynites. It boasted a great pepperoni pie, ice cold beer on tap, and a cozy atmosphere. Grady was silent as they entered the restaurant. Spagnoli's was bustling with the normal Monday night crowd. The copped a table in the heart of the dining area.
The server, a tall man with an attractive face and scruffy beard scribbled down their order. As he left, Arden shifted uneasily, aware that the night was slowly heading back into awkward territory.
"I'm probably not the best dude for conversation right now" he said.
Arden scoffed. "Nah. You're a regular chatterbox. I was gonna tell you to stop because all this talking we're doing is killing my buzz."
A small chuckle escaped, surprising him.
"Ahh, there we go. I knew if I kept soldiering on I'd get a smile eventually." Arden had to admit, he was kind of cute when he smiled. If you went for that sort of overgrown, hulking frat boy look.
His eyes met hers and she noticed how crisp and vibrant they were. They were remarkably attractive, the soft Caribbean blue a perfect complement to his surfer blond hair. Arden was a sucker for guys with curly hair and Grady's abundantly thick corkscrews would send even Shirley Temple into fit of jealous rage.
Wait a minute. What the fuck are you doing Finch, she thought. This dude has done nothing but insult and annoy you since you met him. He is NOT cute. Plus, he looks like a rag doll left out in the rain, all disheveled and shoddy.
"Can I ask you something?" she asked, a timid tone to her voice, which sort of surprised her.
"I can only imagine what you have in store for me," he said with a short nod.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" She braced herself for the impending onslaught of cursing and angry words but was taken aback at the defeated sigh that followed her undoubtedly invasive question.
"I dunno," he said sadly. "I don't want to be like this. Really, I don't. But it takes so much fucking effort to act normal, to pretend like nothing happened. To go on living as if she didn't break my heart into a thousand bits and danced a jig on the pieces."
"Well, you certainly have a way with words."
He smirked. "I think that's the nicest thing you've said to me since we met."
Arden shrugged. "Dude, it would be fucking cruel to kick a man when he's down. And right now you're just pathetic."
Grady snorted. "And now you've completely ruined the moment of zen." They fell back into silence for what seemed like an eternity before Grady spoke up again. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure," she said. "Fire away."
"Have you ever been in love?"
She was quiet, her interest suddenly moving to shredding the napkin in front of her into tiny pieces. "No. I've lusted. A lot. But love...no, I don't think so." She watched his face as he tried to process her response. "Why do you ask?"
"Because I don't think someone who has never been in love can really understand how fucking awful it can be."
Arden scoffed. "I call bullshit. I've cared deeply, I've felt strongly, and suffered greatly when it, whatever it was, was lost. Maybe it wasn't love but it hurt like a motherfucker."
Grady tried to comprehend her words. She had a way of talking around the subject that was completely maddening. "So then what was it? What's the 'IT' you speak of?"
Her lips pursed in deep thought as she pondered his question. Finally she spoke. "To be honest, I'm not really sure what it was. When you're in love with someone, you don't have to scramble to try and define what that love means or what those feeling represent; it just is.
Whenever I was in a relationship I had to compartmentalize my feelings, dissect every emotion, thought, and feeling looking for some hidden undertone. I don't know. It didn't feel like love. It felt like work. Being in a relationship is a full-time job and if you're not working with the right partner it's an unnecessary burden."
Their server returned with a silver pizza pan, setting down the large pepperoni pie in front of them, as well as a pitcher of beer. Grady poured beer in both their glasses as Arden sprinkled oregano and parmesan cheese on the pizza.
"What was it like, with Edie?" she asked, taking a slice for herself.
