*Hey guys, so I just thought this up during a mild case of writer's block. Currently having another so I'll just post this while I think up the next chapter for Confrontation. Comments and feedbacks are highly appreciated. Hope you like it.* Olanna
This program ought to be interesting. Well, it was the first eight times she watched it. Now, she could barely make out the words they were saying...not that she didn't already know every line of the script.
The rumbling in her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten anything in days- well, she had eaten, but fruits, popcorn and water didn't exactly count as food.
Stand up and get some food.
Her inner voice had been telling her that for hours, she had managed to zone it out, but her stomach teaming up with that voice had made it louder and more insistent.
She dragged herself off her bed and made her way to the fridge, she passed by her mirror on the way and for the first time in weeks, Selly actually bothered to look at her reflection. She was in one word- a mess. Her ebony skin had lost it's glow, her once bright dark eyes were now dull and surrounded by bags that told of how tired she was, her narrow shoulders slumped and her long, dark hair that had once been envied by friends and foes alike had lost it's sheen and was now frizzy. She wore the same pyjamas she had on for the past week, a Minnie mouse pj he had gotten her for their first anniversary.
Him.
Her slender fingers grasped the hem of the shirt as her lips trembled, she was about to cry again. Selly shook her head, trying to stop the tears, but they fell still. She had long stopped the heaving and wailing, now, she just wept in silence. She wiped away the tears defiantly and continued on her way to the kitchen. She had been crying for over seven months. She knew because she had been counting the days she spent without him, because she had been waiting for the day he'd knock at her door, give her that charming smile that had made her fall for him, and tell her it was all a big joke and their wedding was still on. That hadn't happened....yet.
She knew her family thought she was crazy, she knew there were plans underway to get her psychiatric help. She wasn't crazy. They would never understand her. They were insensitive.
When she got to the kitchen, she noticed her answering machine and the red light signifying she had a message. She knew who it was. He had to get a life and stop bothering her...like she was even in a position to tell anyone to get a life. Her first instinct was to ignore the message, but on second thought, she went to the machine and pressed a button.
"Hey, it's me again." The now too familiar deep voice came from the machine, "I know you must be thinking I should get a life by now but...Selly, you really need to get out of that cage you've put yourself in, Linda said she went by your place today and you didn't open up, not that I'm counting, but that's the fourth time this week, I've come by twice that number and I've gotten the same silence. I know you haven't committed suicide- well, not literally, I don't think we'd be asking for too much if you just shouted 'I'm home, stop banging my door!' Once in a while, we don't expect to see you, just hear your voice."
Selly cracked a smile at that joke, as much as she didn't want to, Chuks always made her smile, with his messages.
"...you better not be smiling..." Her smile grew wider, that was another thing he was good at, predicting her next actions.
"...okay, I'll let this one slide. Selly, just...please don't shut us out. Linda misses you, I miss you, your family...we all miss you. I don't expect you to call me back, I just hope I at least made you smile."
The line went dead, leaving Selly in the heavy silence she had come to find solace in. The smile Chuks had brought slowly faded. She just stood staring at the machine for what felt like hours but was only a few minutes. Finally, she dragged herself away from it and toward the cupboard she kept her favorite cereal- their favorite cereal. She shook the thought away, Chuks had just made her smile, she wouldn't ruin it so quickly.
She didn't have to.
She opened her cupboard to discover she was out of Lucky Charms. Her eyes grew wide. No, no, no, she couldn't be out of it. She proceeded to check every cupboard in the kitchen and came up with...nothing. She could have sworn she had some left from...she frowned. She had been all out for days and hadn't noticed because she had been living off of fruits and water all this time.
"You're letting yourself go Selena." She heard his deep, soothing voice say.
"I'm not." She replied softly, without turning toward the direction the voice had come from.
"Yes you are." He insisted. She felt his large hands wrap around her smaller body and she leaned into his touch with a sigh, she missed his warmth, "You've lost a lot of weight too."
She smiled, but it was far from a happy one. She knew what was happening, but she wanted to enjoy this moment, she was having less of them as the days passed, "You always did say I wouldn't fit into my wedding dress." She joked, she took a deep breath, letting the scent of him waver around her, the smell of him soothed her in a way she never could figure out.
She felt him lower his head until he was nuzzling her neck, a tremble of desire went through her when he nibbled on the soft skin between her neck and shoulder, "You know I never meant that. And I definitely didn't want you this skinny."
She smiled, she knew as well as he did that as much as she had lost weight, she still hadn't attained the much coveted title of 'skinny' just yet, "You always were indecisive Chuka."
"Not where you were concerned Selly, from the second I laid eyes on you, I never wanted anyone else." He confessed.
Selly felt a tightness in her heart at that comment. He always knew what to say to get her emotions escalated. She turned around and looked up into his warm, brown eyes. She felt the tears well up in her eyes and fall even as she willed them not to, "I miss you Chukky." The words came out in a barely audible voice, but his ☺ told her he had heard her.
"I miss you too Selly, but I love you too much to see you like this." He replied, his voice warm and soothing, he was trying to convince her to change, he had been doing a lot of that recently, like Chuks and Linda had hired him. He wiped a fallen tear from her cheek, "It kills me to see you like this."
Selly held his gaze, they had had many conversations, but none had been this way, her brows furrowed in confusion, "Wha...what are you saying? Don't you want me to come to you anymore?"
He smiled again, "Sweetheart, I would want nothing more, but I don't want to see you before your time, I want to watch you live, I want to see you happy, to see that glow I fell for, I want to see you smile again. A genuine, big, happy smile. You being locked up here can't do that. Go out. You can start by going to the grocery store and getting that box of Lucky Charms."
She smiled at that comment. Her eyes darted to the digital clock next to her answering machine, it read 11:09. She looked back at him, "Now?" Her stomach rumbled at that moment like it was asking her to hurry.
He returned her smile, "Now is as good a time as ever."
She smiled and watched him lean down to place a light kiss on her forehead. A small sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes, when she opened them, he was gone.
This time though, she didn't fall onto her knees and cry her eyes out for hours like she usually did. Instead, she turned around and dragged her feet to her bedroom, she was going to get that cereal.