Getting a Life

The smell of pancakes, bacon and eggs wafted through the air, music from the stereo filtering through the entire house, Trey Songz' 'Simply amazing' was the chosen song of the day- well, it was the chosen song for everyday since the first time they heard it.

Both occupants of the house sang along to it, though in separate parts of the house, making sure the other party heard them.

A smile was plastered on Selly's face as she set their breakfast on the table and waited for Chuka to come join her. She couldn't remember a morning spent with him that she didn't smile. His presence made her happy, it warmed her to think that in a month, this was going to be the rest of her life; waking up in the arms of a gorgeous man, hearing him declare his love for her before anything else, watching his beautiful smile, having chit-chats over breakfast before heading for work, meeting up for lunch and then going home with him later in the day to relax and watch the news or a movie. Things couldn't get better than that.

The last two years of her life had been surreal and the happiest in her life, she had met a man who loved her and who made her believe in love, sure he had flaws, but who didn't? She counted herself lucky to have gotten someone as nice, caring and loving as Chuka was, she knew it sounded soppy, but love made one think soppy thoughts.

She smiled as the sound of his voice let her know he was coming closer, that deep, soronous voice that reminded her of Bryan Knight, she almost laughed at herself, she swore she was getting cornier by the day.

"Hey beautiful." He greeted as he walked into the kitchen. It didn't matter that he had called her beautiful eight times just this morning, it was something she was accustomed to hearing.

"Hey handsome." She replied as she rinsed off the frying pan. He came up behind her and pulled her into a hug, she closed her eyes briefly loving the feel of his hard body pressed against hers and breathing in the intoxicating scent of him. She smiled, he was wearing the Calvin Klein cologne she had gotten him for his birthday, he said the smell of it reminded him of her.

He placed a light peck by the corner of her eye, "So, what are we doing today?" He asked, he gave her arms a quick rub before he went to the table. She sighed longingly at the loss of his warmth.

"Working." She replied with a smile as she joined him. He returned her smile and shook his head as he dug into her tasty pancakes, "So,have you applied for that transfer we talked about?" She asked. For the past two months, she had been trying unsuccessfully to talk him into leaving his position as a Literature teacher in a public school in the Bronx, she understood that he felt he had an obligation to help out some gifted but disturbed kids and his determination to do this made her love him even more, but she needed him alive and the school he taught at had a reputation for having teachers turn up dead.

She knew this conversation would end up just like the others- with him assuring her that all was well, and she would take his word for it and let it go, but it wouldn't hurt to try and hope she was successful this time.

Chuka shook his head with a warm smile, "Selly, we've talked about this before, if you need an update, my answer remains, 'no'" he replied. It didn't matter that she had tried to convince him to change his mind more times than most men could tolerate, he always remained calm, level-headed and jocular with his replies like she was bringing it up for the first time.

"Chukky." She whined.

"Selly." He mimicked her tone making her smile, "Seriously baby, I know how you feel about this and I understand it, I would be worried too if the tables were turned and you were in a dangerous situation, but I would also learn to respect and live with it, that's all I ask of you, trust me to keep myself safe."

"But what if something beyond your control happens? What if...what if you're killed?" She asked, her mellowed voice speaking of the fear that gripped her at that thought, she couldn't bear to live without him- no, she just couldn't live if he died.

He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, "Obi m, I won't be killed, no powers on earth or beyond can stop me from making you my wife, so death shouldn't even be considered."

She gave him a nervous smile and reluctantly dropped the subject, she did have his word.

It turned out his word meant nothing over the things he couldn't control. She vividly remembered the call that came in in the late hours of the morning that same day; it was 11:34, she could never forget the time. Chuks- Chuka's younger brother, had called her and told her he needed to see her and it was urgent, just the sound of his voice had told her something really bad had happened and she couldn't stop her mind from going to Chuka, she went into panic mode, she had asked him a ton of questions all at once, but Chuks had told her it wasn't something he could say over the phone and that he was on his way to her office.

By the time Chuks got to her office, she was already waiting- and crying. Somehow within that ten minutes it took Chuks to get there, she had figured something was wrong with Chuka, why else would Chuks make an impromptu stop at her office instead of Chuka? It was Chuka who made stops, and if ever Chuks did, Chuka would call her and inform her he wouldn't make it, she had checked her call log many times and saw nothing. All she could think of was that morning, dammit she should've insisted! She knew something would go wrong, she should've made sure he never left the house.

As soon as she got into the car, the first words she spoke were, "Where's Chukky?"

Chuks hadn't given her an answer, but going by his blood-shot eyes and trembling fingers, she knew it wasn't good news.

"Chuks, where is Chuka?" She asked, her voice a pitch higher in her agitated state. Still, she got no response, she thought she was going to have a heart-attack with all of this tension.

She couldn't stand it, this suspense, it would kill her, "Damn it Chukwudi, where the fuck is Chuka?!" She screamed using his full name for the first time in....ever.

"He's at the city morgue." He replied quietly, his eyes never leaving the road.

A chill ran through Selly's body, she suddenly lost the ability to breathe, no, it couldn't be, it simply couldn't be, "Wha...what is he...what is he doing at the mor...morgue?" She croaked, her voice low and a rivulet of tears slowly streaming down her cheeks. She waited with lost hope for Chuks' reply, it never came- at least not with words, instead, she watched a teardrop roll down her future brother-in-law's cheek- that was all the answer she needed.

She went numb as realisation hit her like a wave of tsunamic proportions- he was dead. Her rock was gone.

The car slowly came to a halt as he parked in the hospital's parking lot. He turned off the engine but neither of them made any attempt to get out.

"What happened?" She asked quietly after a few minutes. She knew it wouldn't change anything for her, but still, she needed to know.

Chuks took in a deep breath, a sure sign that he was about to say something, "He...he was stabbed...in the chest." He replied coldly, that was the only armour against the pain he felt coldness.

Selena's hand flew to her mouth to stop the wail that was set to escape as the tears returned in full force, she couldn't imagine her Chuka lying dead, his blood leaving his body and staining the ground. Her brain produced various questions, but her mouth couldn't utter one.

She didn't have to ask any as he continued, "He...a student of his was in a fight with another boy, something about a debt or so, he stepped in to stop the fight, he was talking to his student to calm him down and the other kid...he got out a knife...." He paused to gather his thoughts and emotions as he shook off the brimming tears, "....he got out a knife and charged at them, Chuka turned around to stop him, but he wasn't fast enough and the knife was lodged in his chest, he died on the spot."

He died on the spot.Those words were the end of her.

Selly didn't realise she was crying until she was the tear drops on the surface of the framed picture of she and Chuka. She had been re-arranging some of her things more out of boredom than anything else when she came across the picture, there was no doubt in her mind that Chuks had hidden it- not well enough though. Still, he was smart enough to hide all the pictures in different places so even if she did find one, it would take her a while to find another.

"How did you get that?"

Selly raised her teary eyes up to see Chuka looking not-so-pleased, he wasn't frowning, but his lips were closer to a frown than a smile, "I..." Her voice croaked.

"You know it's not even important, just return it."

She sat there for a while, just staring at him, her grip tightening on the picture.

An exasperated sigh left his lips, "You can't keep doing this to yourself Selly, you can't keep doing this to me, you have no idea how much I want to kill myself a second time everytime I see you cry knowing it's my fault."

"It is your fault. If you had just listened..." Her voice trailed off as she fought back more tears- unsuccessfully.

He went to her and stooped so that he was eye-level with her sitting form, he leaned closer and kissed the tears away, his brown eyes losing their anger to compassion, "We can't choose the way we go my love, or the time."

His words just annoyed her the more, "That...you were only trying to help, you didn't deserve to die Chukky! We were going to be married in a month's time, just one fucking month to go and they killed you! They...he killed you." She broke down this time, her face resting against the crook of his neck and her trembling hands wrapped around it for support.

"Shh." He soothed as he stroked her hair lightly, "Better that I left before we got married, it's much harder being a widow than a dead guy's fiancee."

She shook her head in disagreement, "I would've preferred to be your widow."

He smiled, "No, you would've been dead if I had married you and died on you." His eyes bored into hers, daring her to challenge that fact. She didn't, "Now, get up, take a shower and change into something nice."

She gave him a puzzled look through teary eyes, "Why?"

"Well, for one thing, I'm sick of seeing you in these darned pj's, it must smell like a dead rat by now, and another, Linda and Chuks are on their way here with the full intention of breaking down that door if you don't open, I don't know about you, but I really like that door."

Selly chuckled as she wiped her tears, "Will you be here when I'm through?"

He returned her smile, "Obi m, I will always be with you." He replied, he placed a light peck upon her nose and faded away.

Selly sat in the silence for a while, finally pulling herself together. She stood up and made her way to the bathroom, she supposed she'd have to look decent for her guests.

She started the shower, adjusting the temperature until it was warm. She stepped into the shower and let the water hit her for a while, relishing the soothing feeling that washed over her tense nerves, damn, what she would do for a nice massage now.

She wondered if Tai was a good masseuse...Tai, how had she remembered his name with such ease? She was terrible with names, and why the fuck did he come to mind when she thought of a masseuse? She barely even knew the guy and she was already thinking of his hands massaging her.

She shook thoughts of him away, refusing to even consider the fact that she was actually thinking of another man for the first time in almost 3 years, she chalked it up to being locked up in the house for so long. Of course, when she had alienated herself from the rest of humanity for so long, it made perfect sense to be plagued by thoughts of the first man that had actually touched her in any way.

When she finally got out of the shower, she was met with her reflection, she didn't look as gutted or untidy as she had a week ago, but her hair remained in that ponytail. It had been so long since she had touched it, maybe it was time she did something about the dark mass, she did have to look presentable for her visitors. And so she began the arduous task of fixing up her hair, she had always been good with hair, so it wasn't anything she'd need help with.

Twenty minutes went by before she was finally able to tame her wild hair to look presentable, it wasn't as pretty as she used to make it, but it was lookable. She had ended up cutting off a good amount when she found it difficult to comb through, so now the hair lay just past her ears, she had curled the front to a cute side bang that covered one of her eyes. She was fairly pleased with the result.

Just as she took out a pair of skinny jeans, she heard the sound of a car parking in her drive-way, she didn't need to look through the window to know who it was- or who they were. She quickly pulled the jeans up her legs, she dragged the first shirt she could lay her hands on and pulled it over her head, it was a blue-colored, sleeveless sequined top she had bought on an impulse two years ago. She didn't bother remembering what had happened after that buy.

The first knock came as she strapped on her blue flat sandals, "I'm coming." She shouted.

The knock didn't repeat it's self. She managed to powder her face and add a little amount of gloss on her full lips before she left her bedroom. As she made her way to the door she wondered if they had left already, the silence on the other side was weird.

She unlocked the door and took in a deep breath as she prepared her mind to finally see the loved ones she had kept at bay for 7 months, but never stopped visiting her. These were her true family, the ones who hadn't tired of her and her 'antics', the ones who weren't planning to throw her into a mental home.

She opened up the door and was met with...shock. Chuks and Linda stood at her door, their eyes filled with shock and disbelief, perhaps they hadn't thought they'd have things this easy with her. She gave a shy smile, "Hi."

Linda was the first to come out of that shock. She gave a loud shriek and pulled Selly into a lung-constricting hug, "Selly!! God, I've missed you so badly, promise you'll never scare us like that ever again, we've been so worried. I told Chuks I'd break the door down if you didn't open up." The blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty said, her eyes gleaming in her excitement. Linda was always the fun-loving, bubbly one of their crew.

Selly smiled, "I got tired of being locked up, and I ran out of Lucky Charms." She replied.

Linda laughed, "Really? You opened up because of cereal?" She asked in disbelief, it didn't matter why she opened up though, she was just glad she did.

Chuks, who hadn't spoken all the while stepped forward, Selly looked up at him, a sad ☺ came upon her face, God, he looked so much like his brother she felt she'd go into a relapse again. He pulled her into a warm hug, he was the one with the most understanding of what she had been through these past months, he had been the last person to see her before she had secluded herself, he had been the one to call and give her the daily dose of humor she was in desperate need of. No day passed without a call from him, many times when she had felt suicidal, it was that one message from him that made her think otherwise. The fact that there was somebody- no, two people in the world who cared for her almost as much as she had cared for Chuka, two people whose lives would be empty without her as much as hers had been without Chuka, kept her going.

She breathed in his scent, pushing away the tears that threatened to fall as she thought of how similar this felt to when she would hug his brother, "Welcome back Selly." He said softly once he released her.

She smiled her appreciation, "Thanks Chuksy." She replied.

"Okay, okay, enough of the emotional re-union." Linda said as she stood between Chuks and Selly, she flung an arm around Selly's neck, "my girl is finally out of her self-imposed house arrest and I propose we celebrate."

Selly smiled, just like Linda to always have a reason to 'celebrate' ie find some place to party until they got kicked out.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Chuks replied.

"I know just the place."

Selly almost rolled her eyes at that, Linda knew ALL the places anyway.

*****

'The place' turned out to be a nice restaurant on the other side of town that had been opened sometime during the 7 months she had been locked up. It was a Thai restaurant that Selly absolutely fell in love with once she stepped in. She loved the ambience of the place, she loved the mixture of red and blue colors that adorned the place, she especially loved the art, they were apparently of Thai origin, and they were perfect. Whoever did them must be one talented artist.

She was listening to one of Linda's many stories about 'some skinny ho', she always found Linda's 'skinny ho' stories interesting mostly because Linda wasn't exactly a 'thick ho', hell, selly could bet some of the females linda dubbed that title were much thicker than he. Not that linda was skinny in the real sense of the word, but her 112 pound frame didn't pack a lot of fat.

"Like, the bitch got all up in my face and I won't having none of that so I told her to back off before I gave her face a re-construction, and you'd never guess what happened next." Linda said, she paused to take a sip of her iced tea, "...damn, we gotta ask them what they put in this shit, it is good..." She said as she dropped the glass by her side.

Chuks smiled, "I doubt they'd want to tell."

Linda leaned closer like she was about to divulge a damning secret, "Maybe we can steal it." She whispered.

Selly shook her head, she had definitely missed Linda. She shoved another forkful of the meal on her plate, she couldn't remember the name, but it tasted heavenly, she made a note to get the name before she left this place- and find out if they did take-out too.

As she chewed on her meal, her eyes took a quick survey of the place, the customers were evenly spread, mostly Asians and caucasians though, perhaps she and Chuks were the only black people here. It was hard to tell though, since she didn't have a view of the entire place from where she sat.

She was just swallowing the delicious food when she caught sight of a familiar face, was that Tai? She choked on her food as her eyes widened, she began coughing erratically.

"Oh my God, Selly are you okay?" Linda asked as she hurriedly handed her the glass of iced tea by her side. Selly accepted it and drank a little, by the time the coughing stopped, virtually everyone in the restaurant was looking their way- including Tai.

An Asian woman who had been sitting at Tai's table with him stood up and made her way towards them, her face filled with concern as her petite frame reached their table at lightning speed.

"Hello." The woman began with a friendly smile, "I hope you're okay." She said as she leaned closer to look straight at Selly's face. She was a very pretty woman, her hair was dark and was fixed in a bun, she was fairly old going by the crow's feet by the corners of her eyes.

Selly nodded,taking her eyes off the woman to glance at Tai who was staring at her with a smirk on his face, "Yes, yes, I'm fine. I just need to use the rest room." She replied, suddenly feeling the need to get away from those brown eyes.

"Of course, it's over there." The woman said pointing to the other end of the restaurant, "Just walk down the hallway, the first door to your left." She directed.

"Thanks." Selly replied with a smile, she stood up immediately.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Linda asked, her voice laced with concern.

"No Lin, I'll be okay." She replied, she made her way towards the direction the woman had pointed at, cursing the fact that she'd have to walk past Tai on her way there. She made sure to keep her head down and walk briskly past him, she felt his eyes on her as she walked by but didn't look to confirm.