Hi everyone this my 1st story I so hope you like it! If you have any questions or constructive criticism I say bring it on down(Price as right style when Bob Barker was on... yea im that lame!)lol Alright enough of my blabbering I now give you Get up! To get down!~~~ TheGirlCantHelpIt~~~
"Mmmmmh yea! Oooooh yes god! Move over! OOooooh deeper deeper ...."
"Oh come on! You can't be finished yet! Urghhh Leira I never met a girl who couldn't give a proper massage" I exclaimed lying on my stomach.
"I did expect more than 2 judo chops to my back little girl!"
"Katia if you wanted such a proper masseuse you should have hired one! I'm only your sister not your personal hand maiden!"
"Lei I bet you don't even know what a hand maiden is!" I shouted back breathlessly.
"Oh come on you get my drift K," giggled Leira laughter invigorating her voice.
"Oh Lei I can't believe that Marla is getting married today! I mean when we were kids I was certain she was gonna ride and die for the merits of never getting married. Aaaaaah another traitor to our cause," I exasperated while sitting up struggling to fasten my fancy new black bra that Fredrick's of Hollywood claims will lift and separate even the grandest of cleavage. The grandest of cleavage this bra has to tackle are my all too real 42dds. Oh thanks mom for the gals!
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Anywho today is the day my first cousin Marla is getting married. And I being stuck in singledom am in no great huff to condone such measures willingly!
This doesn't mean by any standards that I'am a hater for my dear cousins marriage. I mean the day Marla met Syril we all knew he had her. Hook line and sinker as Leira calls it. So I guess one would say I should have seen this day coming but I being the lost type as my mother calls it never did.
So here I 'am sitting in my bedroom tense as hell contemplating how to get through such an affair without feeling utterly hopeless in my search for mister right. Cueing the violin on this one seems appropriate! Hell even mister right now would be nice! I have needs. Womanly needs! I mean even gals on Venus could use some kind of male affection!
Though being 23 years old and a virgin has done nothing for my dating life. I mean its like men can sniff my v card a mile away and say to themselves ooooh no never that! She's fine and all that but I can't take the chance she's a stage five clinger! Urghhh men! And I refuse to buy an "escort" to take care of my little problem. Jesus h Christ I Katia Nicole James am not that desperate... at least not yet! Talk to me 30 years from now and my position may have changed.
Anywho so here I 'am single yet again! My last semblance of a real relationship was a long distance one with my ex Ahmed Tariq almost 2 years ago. But hey lets all throw on a happy face right?
It could be worse I suppose. I could be wearing that godforsaken lilac monstrosity Marla assigned to all bridesmaids to wear on her "special day". I mean for a girl who never envisioned even getting married Marla has been a bridezilla or at least that's what I've heard from her bridal party.
Luckily I was allowed out of the special honor due to me just getting back in town. Oh thank the heavens I had to be in California the week of the bridal craze for work. Work in my realm consisting of designing jewelry and everything else you can think of for different design houses.
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"Earth to Katia," sing songed Leira while waving her hands erratically.
"Katia you need to step it up. You know Boston traffic. If you're not on time to that church Marla's gonna have your head on a platter John the Baptist style"
"Oh Come on Lei! I'm now supposed to believe you paid attention during Sunday school too?" Katia giggled back with a smile, her left eyebrow slightly rising.
"Oye vey this is just too rich! You've been hanging out with that Devin boy way too much!"
"Oh it's better than you, you heathen! When's the last time you've been to church?" Leira asked while tapping her foot on the mocha hardwood floor.
"That's right Katia silence. Silence because it's been at least two years. You would think that after winning the mega millions for 248 million 2 years ago you would be all saintly! But here you are same ole punk different day!"
"Ooooh Leira darling I'm gonna ignore all that due to the fact you and I know that because of me winning your tuition for Spellman was paid in cash money!" Katia sang out.
"Yea yea whateves." Leira replied
"Yup and let us not forget you've gotten a car and anything you could ever need as well. So I guess we can say you got a good end of the deal! You crook!" said Katia smiling
"What about church Katia hmmmm inquiring minds would like to know" replied Leira
"As for being in the church... said Katia pondering her answer.
"I was there 2 years ago when they got that check for renovations so ahhhh id like to say they are just fine without seeing me. Dig?!"
"Anywho you know I'm more the spiritual type. And Miss Lady that's just fine for me!" Katia stated while standing up adjusting her bra yet again in the full length mirror.
"Yes Katia I "dig". Like who are you trying to be now Johnny Nogerelli from grease 2 now Kat?" Asked Leira
"Oh little girl don't worry about it! Like if I wanted to quote Sarah Palin in this house, not that I would do it because you know how I feel about her but if I wanted to I would. Because A it's my house! B it's my house! And what is C Leira?"
"C it's your house" she stated listlessly with a giggle on the tip of her tongue.
"That's right little girl it's my house. Just because your 20 years old now doesn't mean you are captain of this ship baby!" I gloated as I moved toward my dress I had chosen for the wedding.
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Just because it's a wedding the unwritten rule is one is to never wear white and I get that. But I never heard of the rule that states a guest could never wear black. So just call me Morticia Adams because I'm wearing all black. An all Black floor length dress consisting of a delicate lace over the breezy cotton/spandex shell and snug long black lace sleeves.
These are the days I thank the internet for suitable attire for thicker than most girls like me. I mean I'm not a size of a house or anything I'm just a curvy size 10. Let me be honest here a 10/11 on the top and an 11/12 on the bottom.
But hey I works it out if I should say so myself. After going from a size 18/20 top and a 20/22 on the bottom 2 years ago to what I have now. Let's just say I'm very content. All I ever wanted was a flat tummy, firm arms/ legs and no back fat and I guess you can say I got my wish.
Granted on my frame not many knew what I was size wise. See I'm what many guys like to call an Amazon. Being 5'10.5 has had its advantages!
Even with me being so tall I still plan to wear my black 4 inch Marc Jacobs peep toe heels today. I might as well semi show off this deep blood red mani/pedi I got in L.A.
Makeup wise I'm going for the pin up look. Yes a black girl that loves pin up exists!
Granted my sister forever says you're not black Katia your like Beyonce's shade in loreals true match makeup. That's soft sable for all those late to the makeup game.
Though she may be right about my makeup shade, sometimes I think the girl is off her ass. I mean we are both brown granted she's more of a beautiful earthy deep brown a la the super model Alek Wek. But hey what can you do?
Anyways makeup for today's event will be deep red lips, simple black rimmed eyes with a hint of pinkish blush on my cheeks. And since I 'am going for the glam factor add in the oh so lovely natural black beauty mark that rests slightly below the outside of my bottom lip darkened just a tad with eyeliner.
Yup this girl has to go all out. After all this is a black wedding, African American wedding for all of those who would like to be super politically correct and we all know everyone and their momma is gonna be critiquing everyone's outfit for the next few months.
Me being known as the weird yet smart one of the family I do have to live up to my expectations! So all and all black is the main theme this Crisp September morning.
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"Earth to Meekus you need to finish getting dressed," Leira Yelled.
"I know I know Lei I'm working on it" replied Katia humming the Rolling Stones Paint it Black
"You need to work harder because all you've done so far is put on your underwear and curled your hair. By the way your hair looks fire! Like black hair looks good on you. Please stick to your natural hair color this time Katia" Exclaimed Leira.
"Oh come on you really didn't like my hair light brown lei?"Said Katia pouting.
"Oh it was alright but this is way betta!"
"Thanks Leira you make me feel so good about myself" Katia said with great sarcasm in her voice.
"Like come on Kat you and I both know you look better with black and I do love your hairstyle honest! I mean your extensions do look flawless even if we both know your hair has never been Veronica Lake long!"
"Ok hater! Say all you want about my hair now but at least I won't have to wear that ugly ass Barney dress! I love you. You love me" Katia sang.
"Ooooooh you got jokes now huh Kat? Whatever at least I won't be going to the wedding looking like the black Morticia Adams!" replied Leira.
"See that's where you fucked up Lei I'm actually glad I'm going to this wedding inspired by Morticia she had style honey! That dress your wearing looks like a cross between a lilac umbrella and a wilted tulip!"
"And don't think I missed that little Zoolander quote. Earth to Brent your dress is a mess!" Katia said laughing heartily with tears streaming down her face.
"Whatever Kat I just can't wait to see your
"boyfriend" you are suppose to be bringing to the wedding!"
"Yup Ma told me that you told her not to hook you up for this wedding because you have a boyfriend! I'd like to see where you're hiding him Morticia or is Gomez a little too busy?" Leira said with tears streaming down her face as well.
