Saturday, the third week of June. Since I knew I would not be hearing from or seeing Ken. And it was probably for the best. I had needed time to focus on other things. I had not done anything with the information regarding my birth mother. I was too afraid.
But Saturday, I needed a distraction. I drove myself to Charlotte to the place where she worked. Hoping to get a glimpse of her. She worked at a law firm. Well, she was a lawyer. Maybe she wasn't even working on a Saturday. I just sat out in my car and waited. I saw people going into the office, so maybe she was working.
I thought about getting out of the car, but I couldn't. Just as I was about to drive off, who did I see walking into the office? It was my adopted mother. Her hair was dark brown and cut short, she wore blue jeans and a flowery blouse. What was this?
Moments later, I see her walking out with a younger Black woman, dressed in a skirt suit, black. Her hair was the same as mine, long thick, and curly. They were laughing and talking. I decided to follow them. I watched as they got in a Cadillac SUV and drove off.
They ended up at a little deli. I watched them walk in. Finally, I built up the nerve and just went inside. My adopted mother saw me as I approached their table, "Sasha?"
She said surprisingly, "What are you doing here?"
The woman turned and immediately, I could tell by the look on her face, she knew who I was. Her skin, mocha-colored with golden highlighted cheekbones. I turned my attention back to my adopted mother, "Really mom, you knew how long I had been searching and this--"
"It's not like that honey."
"Darlene is right, have a seat and we can talk about this."
"You know what, I don't want to talk. I just have two questions, "Why did you give me up and why didn't you love me enough to keep me?" Her silence spoke volumes. I turned to leave.
I heard my adopted mother's voice, "Sasha Diana Nichols, you get yourself right back here."
I stopped in my tracks. Angrily, I turned, "I'm not a child."
"You're a woman, right?"
"Yes. I am."
"Then sit down as a woman and talk."
I walked back to the table and plopped down. It was quiet at first, then she spoke, "I always knew one day you'd come looking for me."
"Is that why you made it so easy to find you?"
"Sarcasm, you are my child, listen, Sasha, it's never an easy decision for any mother to just give up a child that they carried for nine months. I was young, only fifteen. My mother wanted me to have an abortion, but I talked to Darlene, who was my 10th grade English teacher at the time."
"We took your mother in until she gave birth to you and we raised you."
"You were young. I get it, but why hide from me?"
"Mainly because I was just trying to play catch up and find my footing. Life took me in a different direction and people were not receptive to young teen-aged mothers.
The Nichols' allowed both of us to succeed."
"Do you have other children?"
"Two sons, 13 and 11."
I nodded, "And my father?"
"He's living in Belize. I met him one summer, he was visiting family here. I told him about you. He's now married with a son and daughter. And don't be mad at Darlene, I only just contacted her a month ago."
Well, after that weekend, I learned a lot of stuff about my mother, her family. She invited me back, but she said, she needed time to explain it to her husband and children. I told her to let me know and I'd be happy to meet them.
*********
Monday Morning, a fresh start, I was seated at my desk, Amy entered, her face a scowl. I spoke, "Good morning." She didn't respond, she marched to Ken's office, the door slammed. I stood up, tip toed back, placed my ear near the door, the muffled voices.
"So, you just leave without saying anything."
"I'm tired of arguing with you about this. You have a lot of nerve as many times you've fucked men and women right in front of me."
"Is that what this is about? You knew I was like this before the marriage, you wanted to marry anyway so it could improve your status. Now, look at you."
"I have work to do."
"Work my ass. All I know is, you better not even so much as sniff her ass when she farts."
"Are you done?"
"Yes, I'm fucking done."
I hurried back to my seat. Noni was walking into the office, "What are you doing?"
I shook my head as I took my seat. I pretended to be working. Amy came into our little area, she eyed me, "Sasha, I need to see you in my office."
I nodded. She waited for me to rise, but I suppose I wasn't moving fast enough, "Now would be great." I stood. I heard her heels clack down the hall as she walked to her office. Noni made a sad face as I walked by.
The door closed, I smiled, "Yes ma'am." She grinned and flipped her golden locks as she took her seat. "Do you like working here?"
"I do."
"Then I would suggest...that you stop fucking my husband without my permission."
I couldn't respond. She stood and walked up to me, "Oh, you didn't think I'd find out? Eventually, everything comes out. Especially, when I have eyes and ears everywhere."
Inside I was fuming. I wanted to choke her ass out. I was minding my own damn business when she offered her husband to me. Shit if she knew he had that monster stroke game, she shouldn't have put him on loan. Who does that?
I nodded, "Yes ma'am." I turned and left.
I was so mad; I could hardly log back into my computer. Noni came over, placed her hand on my shoulder, "Relax Sash, take a breath. Maybe you should just take the rest of the day off."
I nodded. "I'll tell Ken you got sick, go." I grabbed my stuff and I left the office.
Unable to get my mind settled, I went to Cold Stone Creamery and got a waffle bowl of extreme goodness to drown both my sorrow and calm my anger. I sat in the park on a bench, eating, my mind running one hundred miles a minute with all the crazy stuff that had happened over a week. What was I thinking? It was too much.
All that weekend, I'd lie in my bed craving him, thinking about his scent, how he touched me, his voice. He loved me and not her. What was her problem? She didn't even love him. I did. The more I sat there replaying her bullshit comment in my mind, the angrier and more ballsy I got. If she wanted to fuck with me, I'd show her. I was the one he wanted.
The next morning, we had a meeting in Ken's office. He sat at the head of the table, she sat at the opposite end. I walked in wearing a red halter dress that showed off my back and arms, to be fair, I wore a black blazer to cover myself, but I could see him struggling hard not to let Amy see him checking me out. And I could see her watching him.
He sat with his head looking down, with his head resting between his finger and thumb. When I sat, he cleared his throat and began the meeting.
"We have the upcoming convention at the end of July in Atlanta. It'll be at the Marriot for three days; Thursday is registration and ice breakers." He cleared his throat and looked up at me briefly.
She cleared her throat even louder and commented, "In the future, I'd appreciate if you ladies wore clothes that were more business-related, and not like you're going out for a night on the strip."
Noni looked across at me. I thought to myself, this from a woman that wore dresses so tight, you could see her heartbeat and always had her tatas on display...she couldn't tell me, that wasn't how she was getting all those extra policies sold.
"The ladies look fine Amy."
"I'm just saying, too much skin can be a distraction to our clients." She stood, "I have an enrollment across town I have to get to."
He eyed her as if he was happy, she was leaving,
