"Please don't hate me."
Up on the 7th floor of Longfellow hospital tension in the air slowly increased for Dick Thomas. He could easily take the night off and go home to get away from the tension, but something stopped him. There was so much that called out to him to leave it alone, but what would he do for the next few weeks, or months, or years if both he and Kiesha stayed in the same job? He couldn't get away from temptation just by leaving for one night. He asked himself to carefully assess what it was that he really wanted. Did he really want to cross the line into extorting sex from this girl? Did he really want to cross the line into stealing from the hospital to help her? He had very rarely used his position to gain personal favors and advantage, and even when he did, they were very minor occurrences. Hell, everyone at the hospital did such things, but there was an unspoken rule that they be very minor issues. What Kiesha's mother needed was not minor; it was a major expense.
Another point that pushed him on was the fact that Kiesha was not exactly repulsed by him. In fact, she seemed to respond to some of his attention in a positive way, but he could never be sure if it was just her good nature, or if she was subtly hinting that she would be agreeable to his suggestions. He felt so overwhelmed with lust that he really couldn't tell the difference between genuine friendliness and sexual attraction. This mystery caused his imagination to flourish with all kinds of "what if" fantasies. It really did feel like a drug, causing his mind to slow down and cloud over. He had to constantly remind himself that he held the lives of many people in his hands. Although he was on a relatively slow floor for the hospital, he still had responsibilities. If he made a mistake he could easily cause the death of a patient.
In the dead of the night, Dick finally decided that he had had enough. He approached Kiesha around 2:30am while she was wringing out a mop in the store room. This room was quite large and had several shelves of supplies, a sink with a counter, and a small table off to one side. The room had an automatic locking door every time it closed, which needed a key. The only person with the keys was the person who was responsible for the jobs which the store room would be necessary to complete; Kiesha. In his fantasies he imagined that it would be the perfect place, as no one would be able to suddenly walk in on them. He walked into the room with a big smile and started a friendly chat with her, moving the bucket she had used to wedge the door open, to show that he wanted to conversation to be confidential. At least, he was hoping she would take it that way. Although he had never "cornered" her in a room before, the situation was not particularly inappropriate, yet. He was just chatting with her as a friend. He started by commenting on how she seemed to be down in the last couple of weeks and in particular that she was quite upset tonight. He wanted to know if there was some way he could help. Dick's pulse was racing frantically as he said this, giving a bit of special emphasis to the word "help", wondering if she would pick up on it. Of course, Dick didn't really want to help Kiesha just for the sake of helping her. He wanted something in return.
His forehead and face started to sweat and he had trouble keeping his hands steady, which was significant considering that he was a doctor capable of surgery. He didn't want to just rush right in and start groping her. His whole plan revolved around testing out the waters to see just how desperate she was for help with her situation; he had to play it smooth or he could very easily find himself with a sexual harassment lawsuit on his hands, or, at the very least, prosecution from the hospital itself for misconduct. He would never be able to work at another hospital again if that happened, despite his many years of loyalty to the company. There was a long list of up and coming young doctors waiting to take his place on the payroll. Could he really do this?
He had not yet crossed the line, and could still back out, but he was enjoying the adrenaline rush of flirting with danger. He wouldn't actually do anything; it was just playing around with a fantasy. He felt a strong burst of excitement at seeing how far he could push the limits. How far could he go in hinting before it became clear to Kiesha what he was really trying to say? Would he notice the look on her face in that moment when she caught on to his hinting for sexual favors? Would she give any indication that she was willing to hear more? Would he be able to tell the difference between that and a warning from her not to continue? What if, in his excitement, he mixed up the signals and tried pushing too hard when she was really trying to get him to back off? His mind raced with possibilities.