Dont Ever Look Back Ch 02

I left the bar that evening and drove home in a complete daze. Sarah met me at the back door and I had to feign illness to explain my physical state. I went to my study and closed the door and stared at the wall for over an hour before Sarah came in to check on me and brought some tea.

"Honey, what's wrong? Are you getting a cold?" Sarah asked in that voice that had always melted me.

"I'll be okay just feeling a bit off." I lied trying to assure her so I could return to my brooding.

Sarah stroked my hair before silently leaving, closing the door softly behind her. I couldn't reconcile Malcolm's descriptions to the sweet loving wife that I knew but for some strange reason I knew his information was true.

Thinking back, certain things held together with Malcolm's story. After Sarah and I had gotten back together, there remained a distance between us and we did not become intimate again for months. I thought it was her punishing me and making me regain her trust but it seems in fact that she was instead carrying on a torrid sexual affair with Malcolm. Then there was the pregnancy. A man impregnating another man's woman is almost like castration. I would have to look at Sarah for the rest of my life knowing another man was the first to fill her womb.

Then there was the exhibitionism. Thinking back on our life together, there had been times that Sarah had acted a bit risqué. Things like selecting a very revealing bikini, wanting to have sex with the window open at the beach or having her nipples poking through a thin top came to mind. In all these cases, I stopped her and told her my wife shouldn't act so bold. Were these signs of the hidden desires Malcolm had found?

The next week was difficult. I felt betrayed and humiliated and wondered what I really knew about my wife. Were there others? Was I in fact an unwitting cuckold as Sarah jumped from bed to bed?

Sarah sensed something was wrong but certainly wouldn't think I had uncovered her college affair after all these years. She remained concerned about my well being and tried to be loving and intimate but in my state I turned her down repeatedly. I also turned down her offers to talk which caused her to become frustrated.

At first, I didn't want anything more to do with Malcolm and ignored his repeated attempts to contact me. His news had wrecked my world. But, after a few weeks I found that I still had questions that were unresolved and that old feeling of obsession came back. I responded to one of his email and suggested we meet again knowing I had to see his face while he gave out the information even if it was painful. Malcolm replied the next day that he could meet the following day at the bar.

I got there first and went to the same table and waited for almost an hour until he arrived. After saying our hellos and ordering drinks I began asking questions. Fortunately, this time I was emotionally prepared and stayed in control.

"Malcolm, I've thought a lot about what you told me and I guess that some of it may be true but some of it I don't believe. You know it's important to me that I get the truth with no exaggeration. You seem like a decent guy so please tell me the truth." I said trying to sound condescending.

"Everything I told you was true." He said with no emotion which disturbed me.

"I'm sorry but I just don't see Sarah giving herself so completely and easily to you. She was raised well and she has always been in love with me." I challenged him.

"So, what's your questions?" He said now annoyed.

"How many times were you with her?" I started.

"I told you it went on for a couple months I don't remember the number of times. It was a lot." He replied.

"How come no one ever saw you or told me? She had a roommate and back then a white girl with a black man was a big deal. I would have heard something." I asked quickly.

"Dude, you don't get it. There were places all over town for football players to take girls to fuck. We fucked in her apartment when her roommate was gone too." He explained.

"And I'm supposed to believe you dumped her? That you impregnated her up and told her to get lost?" I answered now getting a little emotional.

"Yeah, that's what I'm telling you. You see I that pussy was mine in every way. You only got her cause I gave her back to you when I was done." He said with a hard angry look.

Our discussion had escalated and become heated so quickly that my specific questions had been forgotten. I could tell that Malcolm had become extremely irritated and was now hitting his drink hard. He looked at me and I looked him in silence for almost a minute before he finally spoke.

"How sure are you of your feelings?" He asked smiling having seemingly regained his composure.

"I'm sure." I answered even though I was not sure at all.

"Then why don't you arrange Sarah and me to meet and we'll see what happens." He replied leaning back in his chair and looking proud of himself.

I sat there in stunned silence his suggestion hitting me completely cold. I knew that if I declined he would have proved his point. Conversely, I was not as sure of my position as I had tried to appear and was nervous about the potential impact.

"What's wrong asshole. Not so sure now?" He said goading me.

"I don't want her to have to re-live a bad memory." I replied weakly.

"Well I suppose you would find out pretty quick if it's bad." He laughed. When I didn't reply he continued. "You just tell me next time she is going out without you to a club or restaurant with friends and I'll show up. Let's see what happens or if she comes back and tells you." He suggested.

Malcolm knew he had me on the ropes and my inability to respond only fueled his arrogance.

"Cat got your tongue? Not sure of things now I see?" He poked at me.

The bastard had boxed me in and he knew it.

"I'll think about it." Was my lame reply.

"Well you do that now boy. But next time you contact me it better be with a time and location. I'm a busy man." He said laughing openly.

We left soon after with his taunts ringing in my ear. This time he made sure I picked up the check since last time I had left it with him.

I learned that it's very difficult to live with someone when you aren't sure you know them. This was a completely new feeling for me since we had been together for so long. Over the next couple weeks my emotions went all over the map. There was disbelief that my darling was capable of doing anything he described. There was anger at her for being with another and hiding it from me for all these years and there was also my own self-loathing for dredging this issue up after all this time.

I tried to hide my distrust but Sarah sensed my distance from her and tried to reach out. I forced myself to be responsive and civil but it was difficult. I knew as long as there was this unresolved situation we could never completely reconnect. With this on my mind I sent Malcolm a short, terse email.

Iberia Restaurant and Bar, 7:00 PM, Friday.

I received no reply.

Sarah was going out to dinner with two of her girlfriends at this very nice upscale restaurant. It was the perfect location for her to dismiss him and prove him wrong so we could get on with our life. The only problem was going to be for me to find a location from where to witness the interaction. The front of the restaurant had large floor to ceiling windows but was also a busy place with valets parking cars. A man peering into the window would certainly attract attention. It was Tuesday when I sent the email and I decided I would visit the place on Thursday to scout for spying locations.

Thursday came and I went by the restaurant about 6:30 PM just as the sun was setting. I found that the bar had a separate entrance and from a shared hallway to the bathroom I could watch the dining area without being seen. The only concern I had was that my wife's party and Malcolm not be in the bar when I arrived.

My wife looked great when she left for the restaurant at 6:30 PM. She was dressed in a black cocktail dress and had put her hair up. At any other time, I would have held her and kissed her before she went out with her friends. Sarah hung around for a few minutes wanting the hug but I avoided her because of my confusion until she eventually left.

I knew her reservation was for 7:00 PM but still I waited until 7:15 before following her in case they decided to spend some time in the bar first. When I arrived, the bar was maybe a third full and I ordered a double scotch and soda before easing into the shared hallway to look for Sarah and Malcolm.

Sarah and her friends were seated at a table for four in the middle of the room. She was seated so that I was to her right and after scanning the room I saw that Malcolm was seated with another man at a table for two over her left shoulder. Malcolm was able to look directly at her from his position but Sarah would have to consciously turn and look to see him.

Malcolm was making no effort to hide his looks. Even from my distance I could see the animal hunger in his stares. I wasn't sure if Sarah had seen or recognized him until I saw her head slightly turn then quickly turn back as if she caught herself and with force refused to look. I could also see that she was sipping her wine quickly and was struggling to stay in the conversation with her friends.

I couldn't stay in the hall for long so I went back to the bar and sipped my drink timing myself to take a look every ten minutes. The looks were all the same until an hour later when the girls were having dessert. I went into the hall and looked into the room to find Malcolm standing next to the table chatting with the girls. I could tell that Sarah was extremely nervous and I stayed in the hall as long as I dared and watched Malcolm laying on his charm.

Ten minutes later I was back and Malcolm was back at his table. I could see that the girls were whispering to Sarah who was acting aloof. I watched until the waiter brought the check then went back into the bar and settled my bill. The bartender was helping others and it was a few minutes before I was able to pay up and leave. Returning to the hall, I saw that both the girl's and Malcolm's table were empty. Turning, I went back though the bar and then outside walking towards my car when I saw Malcolm with Sarah in between cars in the back of the parking lot. It was normal for Sarah to valet so it appeared she had followed Malcolm to his car.

Moving quickly into the shadows, I found a spot to watch them. They talked standing closely to each other for several minutes before Malcolm looped his arm around Sarah and pulled her close to him. Twice I saw her turn her head as he tried to kiss her. On the third attempt, their lips made contact and then I watched as her arms circled his shoulders and their lips fought as they passionately kissed.

I stood deflated in the dark watching Malcolm prove that all his words were true. Soon, he had Sarah backed against a car and with his large frame she completely disappeared from my view. For the next fifteen minutes Sarah was behind Malcolm. Finally, I saw her appear and move to one side before kissing him quickly and walking towards the front of the restaurant. Malcolm looked around the lot then opened the door to the car, started it and drove away.

I rushed to my car and raced home to beat Sarah arriving five minutes ahead. I changed into shorts and a t-shirt and sat sprawled on the couch feigning half-sleep as the TV blared. Sarah walked in looking nervous and went straight to the bedroom pausing only to say hi as she swept past.

Five minutes later she was back snuggling at my side oblivious to the fact that I knew whose lips she had been kissing less than an hour before. She pulled my arm around her and despite my confused emotions I didn't fight her. As she snuggled closer her robe came undone and I could tell that she was naked underneath. Despite my anger, Sarah's body was too beautiful and warm to resist and I soon found fondling her breasts and then lower. My lips met hers and they're softness made me forget that they had recently been kissing the mouth of a black man.

We soon went to bed and made awkward love to each other both of us with thoughts on our minds other than our love making. Still, it felt good and falling asleep in each other's arms was good as well.

Despite our intimacy, my mind was in turmoil. Malcolm had shown that there was a relationship that was real and powerful and brought strong credibility to his story. I expected an email or a call from him the next day but it was two days later when he finally communicated via email.

Hope you saw. Meet at the bar tomorrow.....Malcolm

I was there at 6:00 PM and Malcolm made me wait like I knew he would. Malcolm sauntered in a little after seven trying to put me on the defensive. He flopped his muscular body into a chair acting cocky and superior.

"Well I'm sure you were there somewhere watching your wife." He said smiling.

When I didn't respond after several seconds he took it upon himself to keep talking.

"Your lovely wife and I caught up on old times in the parking lot." He informed me now openly trying to provoke.

"I saw you talking to the girls and I saw you talking to her in the parking lot." I acknowledged.

"Then you know I was telling you the truth." He told me.

"Well I saw that you knew each other. Not much more than that." I replied denying what I knew was true.

Malcolm stared at me for a while before speaking.

"You know motherfucker I thought you would act this way." He said to me as he threw onto the table a pair of red lacy panties that had been wadded in his pocket and I knew immediately they were Sarah's. While I sat there shocked he added. "Got to feel her wet pussy when I took these off too."

I started to come out of my chair aggressively but before I was all the way up Malcolm shoved his large right hand into my chest and knocked me back. It happened so fast I was disoriented for several seconds.

"You fucking asshole." I said loudly.

"You better be careful, man." Malcolm replied calmly. "Better be careful."

Others in the bar were now looking over so I took some deep breaths and tried to get control of myself.

"What did she say to you?" I asked my façade of denial now completely gone.

Malcolm sensing victory smiled broadly then spoke. "Well of course she was surprised to see me and she was being a bit standoffish until I pulled her to me and kissed her. That woman sure can kiss."

After stopping for my reaction and getting nothing he continued.

"She wanted to talk but I preferred kissing. She saw it my way pretty quick." He said laughing. Then he continued as I glared. "She tried to fight it but when I rolled her nipple in my fingers she gave up."

"Then she left." I said trying to salvage some dignity.

"Yeah, she left. After we swapped numbers." He laughed.

"I don't want you calling her." I demanded seething.

A huge smile crossed Malcolm's face and he pulled out his cell phone and clicked on the buttons until he had the screen showing a list of phone numbers then asked. "Recognize two of those?"

As he held it to my face I could see that Sarah's cell number appeared twice. My stomach fell to my knees and I realized with little doubt that Malcolm had told the truth and that Sarah was apparently still interested.

"Please leave her alone." I asked now openly pleading. "We have a good life. Please don't ruin it."

"Well asshole. You're singing a different tune now." He replied seeking my complete capitulation.

"You've proved you were right. Can't you just let it go?" I said almost begging.

"Well for all my trouble don't you think I deserve some pussy? You know, for old time's sake?" He taunted.

"No Malcolm. Please don't go there. What if I go to her and tell her I know?" I replied trying to find a line of reason.

Malcolm laughed loudly then answered. "Dude to do that you got to admit to her you set her up. You fucked yourself."

I could think of no immediate answer to his statement and I sat there confused and silent as Malcolm stared at me with a wry smile.

Finally I spoke and asked him. "What do you want to leave us alone? Money?"

"You have a goddamn ability to piss me off." Malcolm answered. "I told you I want some of that sweet pussy and you know I can get it too."

I knew that Malcolm's words were true. From what I saw in the parking lot, he would be able to get Sarah in bed if left alone and I theorized that I had only two chances at saving my marriage. The first would be to come clean with Sarah and tell her the whole story about talking to Malcolm and testing her fidelity. I cringed at the prospects of her likely reaction and the damage it would do to our relationship. The second would be to convince Malcolm to leave her alone and it seemed that the only way he would consider this would be after first getting her in bed.

"I've got to think things through. Please leave her alone." I finally said.

"I'll give you some time but not much. Better get back to me quick." He replied after a brief hesitation.

I spent the next two days after our meeting thinking and re-thinking my options and the potential outcomes. After all the soul searching I had pretty much decided to sit Sarah down and put all the cards on the table and try to get her to understand and talk. It really was the only logical course of action that would support a healthy marriage. My plan was to try to have the discussion on the upcoming Friday evening after we had shared a bottle of wine.

Unfortunately, that discussion never happened. Right after lunch on Friday I was checking my personal email when I saw one from Malcolm. Opening it immediately, there was simply the word "enjoy" with six video clips attached. I shivered when I saw these and actually thought about deleting the email without looking but in the end I knew I had to see.

All together, there was 61:46 minutes of video. I closed my office door and watched them one at a time in silence knowing my marriage would never be the same.

The video started with an empty bedroom with a king size bed illuminated by dim light and soft jazz music playing. The camera was placed across from the foot of the bed and showed a zebra skin patterned bedspread. At the 8:32 mark in the video, Malcolm came into view followed by Sarah wearing the outfit she had on when she left the house to meet a girlfriend for a movie the previous night.

Malcolm sat her down at the foot of the bed and from her behavior I guessed she had no idea she was being filmed. They began kissing softly and in addition to the music I could hear the smacking of their lips and the soft moans as they embraced.

Malcolm suddenly broke their embrace and walked to a stuffed leather chair in the corner of the room right at the edge of the camera view.

"Come over here and do the striptease for me like you used to do baby." He told Sarah.

Sarah sat still on the edge of the bed and for a moment I thought there might be a chance she would resist. But, she soon stood and with a slow movement she walked till she was standing between his outstretched legs. She began swaying to the music running her hands over her hips.

"Why do you have this power over me?" She said softly.

"Hasn't changed has it?" Malcolm answered.

"It's not right. I'm married now." She replied but kept swaying.

"Baby, you can always leave." He answered her confidently.

Sarah's back was to me so I could see her face but regardless she kept dancing and I saw her hands begin to pull her white blouse from the waist of her navy skirt. When the blouse was free she unzipped her skirt and let it drop to her feet then stepped from it never losing her rhythm to the jazz. The blouse came off next and in only a few short minutes my wife of many years and the mother of my children was standing in her bra and thong in front of a this old lover.