It's said that no one ever forgets their first kiss. In my case, the first girl I kissed also turned out to be the last. Sarah and I met in pre-school and for some reason that no one was ever able to explain we became inseparable. Our first kiss was at seven and I swear it felt like an orgasm was ripping through me as our lips met for the first time. Back then, people thought our puppy love was cute. As we grew older, there was a general expectation that we would drift apart. When we stood at the altar of our rural church fresh out of college to exchange vows, people finally admitted that we were indeed a unique and special couple.
My parents thought the world of Sarah and likewise her parents felt I was like a son. Since Sarah didn't have a brother, I became the de facto son for her dad. From an early age, he would take me with him to their ranch where we would spend time tending to the livestock or hunting. Likewise, Sarah would usually accompany my mom and sisters to trips to the nearest city, seventy miles away, for shopping.
During our rehearsal dinner, I pulled out an old box that was filled with past valentine cards, love notes from elementary school, and other little gifts that Sarah had given me along the way. There were tears from everyone in the room, including the men, but the most special moment was the look of utter love Sarah gave me when she realized how special those things had been to me.
Amazingly, we didn't consummate our relationship until we were freshmen in college. We got by on heavy petting and experimented with oral sex usually in the back seat of my car parked on some quite country road. I have to admit the first several times of "going all the way" were awkward but soon we were past that and spending three or four nights a week in each other's bed.
That was about twenty-two years ago. In between was a move to the city and two kids, a boy and a girl, in quick succession. We had done well in our careers too. Both of us had started on the corporate ladder but Sarah had elected to start her own marketing consulting business and was doing quite well. I had stayed in the corporate world and had risen to the executive level and international engineering company.
Because we had started our family quickly, both kids were now in college. Sam our eldest was a junior and our daughter, Janey, was a freshman. Both attended universities in the state but several hours away from our home.
No one ever said it to my face but I knew that one of the things people found odd about our relationship was the dramatic difference in looks and personality. I'm not bad looking but nothing special either but also quite shy. Sarah on the other hand is best described as beautiful. She was the head cheerleader in high school and is slender with dark hair and perfect proportions. She has never struggled with weight and our two kids actually enhanced her figure by providing a slight rounding to her features. Her shapely legs and butt are her best feature. Along with her looks, is a charming personality that instantly puts people at ease. She attracts men like flies and we've actually had men try to hit on her right in front of me. She is always calm and patient with these guys and shuffles them off quickly without bruising their egos.
Unlike Sarah, I've struggled to maintain the plain looks I had. Weight has been a bit of a problem with me and only recently have I been able to get it back to a reasonable level. I also don't possess anything like her charm. In business settings I do fine but in social gatherings I would be considered a wall flower.
Because of our success, we have a great house in the best part of town with a large pool where we often entertain. We are still close to our parents and they visit us often in the city and we usually visit them in our hometown for holidays. So, all in all, we have a pretty idyllic life with a great future.
At least it was until I saw him one day. You see our perfect time together all these years was marred by one unfortunate occurrence. It was really all my fault and to this day I'm ashamed by my stupidity and behavior. You see, in college, I decided our junior year that we should try dating other people. I had been pestered and teased by my fraternity brother since my freshman year that only geeks stayed with the same girl. Finally, their words, along with the alcohol I had consumed, resulted in a show down one evening where I told her I thought it would be a good idea to date other for a while.
Of course, I used all the stupid clichés about how it would make us closer but all it did was make her cry. It was the first time I had ever made her cry. Usually, she would melt me with just a glance but this time I was being a total jerk and fought off her looks and pleas. Eventually, she just went into the bedroom of her apartment and closed the door and I left.
That was on a Monday. The next weekend was the first time I can remember not being with Sarah when one of us was not ill or out of town with family. Friday, I went out drinking with the boys and was already feeling stupid and resentful for letting them talk me into hurting Sarah. They had arranged a date for me for the next night and promised that once I got into the swing of things I would be fine.
That Saturday a large party was being held by several fraternities at a large lake house owned by one of the guys. The party included a live band and plenty of alcohol. I had a date with Kim, set up by one of my fraternity brothers. Kim was a very pleasant young blond with large breasts. She was very cute and had a big smile and doe eyes that made her appear vulnerable.
We drank and danced and chatted with friends and were doing well together until I spotted Sarah. Sarah was with a couple of her girlfriends and had spotted me and was staring in my direction. While she was looking, Kim put her arm around my waist and hugged me. When I was able to look back at Sarah, her friends were holding her and guiding her away from the crowd. She disappeared from view and my heart told me that I should run to her but something mean inside me compelled me to stay with Kim.
Kim and I continued to party with or group, occasionally dancing, and later I saw that Sarah had come back to the party. I saw her dance a few times with different men which caused a deep wave of resentment and jealousy to come over me that I had to fight back.
Kin was a very nice person but the longer I stayed with the group and drank the lonelier I felt. I knew that if I could be with Sarah everything would be okay and I decided that after I got through this night I would go to her the next day and tell her what a stupid mistake I had made.
It was only a few minutes later that I saw Sarah back dancing. This time, she was with a black guy that I recognized as a member of the football team. This completely shocked me as Sarah and I had grown up in a community with no black's and as far as I knew she had never had any direct contact with one. I was also cringing from the comments I would likely get from my friends if they saw Sarah dancing with a black guy.
It was Dan, a particularly arrogant asshole that noticed first.
"I didn't know Sarah had jungle fever?" He said in a drunken drawl trying to provoke me.
My back was turned watching Sarah but I could hear the snickers behind me from my supposed friends. Only Kim seemed to sense my pain by squeezing my arm to let me know she understood.
"That's Malcolm Johnson she dancing with. The stud freshman running back." Jay, another of my friends added.
I was in for another surprise when one dance turned into two followed by some quiet one-on one conversation at the edge of the crowd before they returned back to the dance floor again. I ignored the shitty comments from my friends while this was going on knowing that if I started with them it would end in a brawl.
It was Kim that finally helped me out be pulling me aside.
"What's the story with you and that girl?" she asked in a tone indicating she really wanted to know.
I gave her a brief description and when I was through she looked at me with arched brows.
"You better go tell her you're sorry and beg her to forgive you." Kim stated in a way that somehow brought total clarity to my confused mind.
"I have to." Was all I could think of to say. Then followed with "I hope you're aren't mad at me."
"I'm not mad. Go get her and I'll catch a ride." She said smiling.
I kissed her on the cheek then took a few steps away from the group to avoid the comments before heading towards the dance floor. As I approached, I looked for Sarah but couldn't spot her in the crowd. So, I circled the dance area twice looking but there was no sign of either of them. I waited and looked for another thirty minutes before concluding that she must have left so I went to my car and drove to her apartment.
