Disclaimer, All characters, scenarios, places, names etc etc are made up.
If you think I am writing about you all I can say is you lucky git.
To those who comment as anonymous don't bother, I take no notice of what you have to say, to all others thanks even if they are a bad reviews, I must try harder as my teacher, used to tell me.
Please Enjoy It.
My name is Adam Joyce, I am 5ft 10in 20 years old, of medium build with short cropped brown hair. A very easy going personality and not bad looking as I have been told. I still live at home with my parents, mum Diane who doesn't work and dad Tony, unless he is in trouble and he gets his full title Anthony Mark Joyce, which happens quite a lot, he is the local dentist. We live in a small village just outside of Manchester in a 3 bed house, nothing grand but its close to dads work, he can walk it in 10 minutes. There is absolutely nothing going on for younger people in the village, in fact the only pub doesn't even allow music or have sport on the tv.
I left school aged 18 and went straight to work in an accountants office, courtesy of my mothers best friend, Himari Cope. If I am honest I am lucky, the only thing I was good at in school was maths, otherwise I would have been working in the local supermarket filling shelves.
They are both members of the local gym and spa, in a way an odd pairing both in their 40's, my mum Diane is very fit big busted 5ft 9in blue eyed blonde, from Manchester and Mrs Cope is a petit dark haired 5ft Chinese lady, and as flat as a pancake, but somehow they just love being gym buddies and ladies that lunch.
For the last two years I have been working in the Copes accountancy firm. Mr. Cope is a lot older than his wife, he is always in his office we all presume he is working, at what god knows, but it doesn't involve any of the staff. He doesn't go out to clients Mrs Cope does all that, he is always first in before we start at 9am,and first out at 3.30 sharp, all in all a really nice boss. If comes out to make a drink, he always says kettles going on I'm doing black coffee if you want one let me know.
If you ask for a tea he will say don't do teas, it always best just to get a black coffee, not a white coffee he always puts too much milk in. He even brings it to your desk and leaves you a kit kat or some other chocolate bar, he has a store of them in the cupboard in the kitchen.
Mrs Cope however is the exact opposite she is always busy seeing clients, or checking what you are doing in the office. People make her drinks not the other way round.
For the past 2 yrs I have been going to night school 3 times a week, something she insisted on. In the office I am shadowing a two man audit team of Mark and David both in their 40's. They are nice enough guys, but they don't take kindly to me turning up after a good night out suffering from a hangover, so now after numerous complaints I don't go out midweek, its Friday and Saturday nights only. Things are due to change from next week though, I am due to start going out to clients with whoever needs the most help.
What I wasn't prepared for was my first job was with Mrs. Cope, I had hoped to go with anyone else but her, as an extra body, not thrown in at the deep end as part of the customary two man team. I had to meet her at the office at 8am, even though we start at 9am. She wanted to be at the clients for 8.45am. Mark and David to their credit, did warn me not to turn up bang on 8am, get there a good 5 minutes before, as she doesn't accept any excuse for being late. Therefore like a good office clerk I was parking my motorbike in the car park at 7.50, and in the office two minutes later. I hung my leathers up, put my crash hat under my desk, donned my suit jacket and went to her office, she was sat tapping her fingers on the desk.
Looking at her watch while handing me her briefcase
[Mrs Cope] "Good your are on time, come on, I don't want to be late."
Once in the car she told me how she expected to behave when we got there.
I was to just stay quiet and only speak if spoken too directly, other than that she was quiet concentrating on her driving. Why she was worried about having enough time to get to the clients soon became very obvious, the traffic was horrendous. I could have done the journey on my bike in 15/20 minutes, it took us nearly 35 minutes.
We met the clients and all went well from what I could tell, they had given us an office and access to their computer system, we would be there for approx. 3 days.
She set me some tasks and we got on with the job, working in silence until just before midday.
[Mrs Cope] "Right, just carry on what you are doing I am going to lunch with your mother, should be back around 2ish. If they ask where I am, say I had to go back to the office and will return after lunch. I know you normally take lunch at 12 but while you are here it's at 1pm for an hour, any questions?"
I shook my head.
[Mrs Cope] "That's good bye for now."
Why she thought I would have any questions, I had no idea. All I was doing was checking the petty cash and the expense accounts. We had a standard list of what is acceptable for expenses, if it could be put under one of those headings, it was ok, if not put it on the disputes list. The petty cash just had to balance, simple really.
I have never been one who does packing up, so at 1pm it was off to find some type of sandwich, Sainsbury's, Boots, WHSmith, Tesco, BK, McD's, Greggs, KFC Subway Costa Coffee, a fish shop, Nero's and Starbucks, talk about spoilt for choice, I decided on a go large McDonalds meal deal, Big Mac, Fries a coffee and a Macflurry. I was 90% certain mum would be doing salad for tea, which always left me hungry, so I filled my boots as they say. All done, I was back at their office for 1.55 making sure I wasn't late. I needn't have bothered she rolled in at 2.25.
[Mrs Cope] "Any problems."
[Me] "Just one really, not sure about Mr Hedges, claiming £85 for valeting Miss Rebecca Hedges BMW, his wife is called Maria, they both drive Porsche's. They are on the registration list, but this one is not. I can only presume, its maybe his daughters do we just allow it or query it with him."
[Mrs Cope] "Oh for heavens sake go and ask the accountants dept, they might have an answer."
That put me in my place, looks like I made an oops, so off I went to accounts.
According to them she was on the payroll up until February last year, but was hardly ever in the office. Now she gets paid a consultancy fee, when she does some PR work for Hedges. Not really what I wanted to hear but I decided to put it on the disputes list. Mrs Cope could decide about that when doing the review.
By 5pm we had packed up and were ready to leave when filled me in on her plans.
[Mrs Cope] "I'm not going back to the office, you can make my own way home can't you."
[Me] "Yes, no problem shall I meet you at our office of theirs tomorrow."
[Mrs. Cope] "Ours of course, I would have told you otherwise and don't be late."
[Me] "Ok, see you in the morning, goodnight."
I finally got home around 6.15, mum and dad were eating salad, guessed right there didn't I.
[Mum] "Hi Adam, your late, did you enjoy working with Himari, she's expecting great things from you."
[Me] "Yes it was fine, she just didn't give me a lift home, I had to get the bus and then my bike from work."
[Mum] "Well why would she, she lives at the other side of town to us."
[Dad} "Because she took him there, I presume."
[Me] "Spot on dad."
[Mum] "But she would have been home late then, men!, seriously always wanting to cared for."
Dad looked like he was about to open his mouth to respond, but thought better of it and took another mouth of food instead.
[Mum] "Your salad is in the fridge."
[Me] "Ok mum."
Looking in the fridge, there it was on a plate wrapped in clingfilm, a cottage cheese salad, I wonder who got weighed this morning and decided we all needed to be on a diet again. When will she realise, she is not overweight, she has a great firm body, I know I have seen her naked. She obviously doesn't know that, she is just a tall lady and those 36dd tits can't help with their weight.
I think I better explain how I saw her naked. We were on holiday in Greece last year, during a heatwave. Although the villa had aircon, it wasn't in each room so you had to leave the doors open, to keep it cool. We had been by the pool most of the day and mum and dad had gone to get showered, ready to go out.
I was still laid down by the pool, when I realised that if I looked towards their bedroom, I could see the full length mirror on the wall. We had always kept the window blinds closed to stop the sun. But today they were slightly open and the breeze through the house was moving them. Dad was stood by the bed in his shorts watching the TV, why god only knows, because the reception was as bad as the programmes. Mum came into view starkers and started to talk to him. At first I had a side view, ok I know I should have looked away, but I'm a male and any naked adult female needs to be looked at. It was not my fault the blinds were open it's their room not mine, I was amazed how firm her tits looked, I already knew her body was firm, as she had been laid by the pool in a bikini for days, but those tits stood up. Then I got a full frontal, wow she had a landing strip and what looked like a tattoo at either side of it, but I couldn't make out what it was. Dad disappeared into the bathroom and she started to put on some body cream or it could just have been after sun. She was still stood there when dad came out to the pool. [Dad] "bathroom's free move it, mum's nearly ready."
Like hell she was, she was stood there stepping into a thong. I got showered, shaved and dressed, got a beer from the kitchen went outside to sit with dad who was sat by the pool. 10 minutes later mum came out, looking a million dollars, she did scrub up nicely. The split in the long dress, let her flash her right thigh and the low cut top showed off her tits.
We had four more days by the pool and those damn blinds were always closed, I even thought about opening them up myself, but what would I say if I got caught.
Back to present day, I plonked myself down at the table as they both got up and left.
[Mum] "I cooked, so you can do the dishes."
[Me] "Ok."
Knowing full well that the salad was out an Marks and Spencer packet, the cottage cheese was out of a tub. The bread was sliced, and I had made the only hot thing on the table, my coffee. We been through this many times, it was a no win situation for me, better to give in gracefully and just do it. Why on earth we washed up I don't know, it was beyond me, we had a dishwasher that to my knowledge had never been used. It was installed last year with the new kitchen.
Mum was in her usual good mood.
[Mum] "Me and Himari have been to the gym, we did a bit of shopping and had a nice little lunch, we are meeting up tomorrow as well."
The next day was pretty much as the previous, apart from I didn't say I had found anything in the expense claims. I just put it on the disputes list, which had now grown to 14 possible rejections. I was left to find my own way home again, but was told to make my own way to their offices the next day as she would come along later.
Thursday morning I was there by 8.45 and settled down working when she turned up, so 8.55 was later apparently. She closed the door and plonked the disputes list in front of me, but one was crossed out.
[Mrs Cope] "Haven't you leant anything, what have you been doing the last 2 years
its blatantly obvious that is allowed, redo the list."
Not well done, you have found 13 infractions, all she was bothered about was the so called error, it wasn't obvious to me. I bet if I had asked her about it, I would have been in the wrong as well. When I got up to go for lunch she asked where I thought I was going, we are working through to finish, that was the first I knew of it.
Working through ended up working till 6pm, I should have been working quicker, no mention of her two extended lunch breaks of just about 6 hours. I had completed all the tasks she had allotted me, then had been doing some of her stuff most of the afternoon.
My views on Mrs Cope had changed over the last three days, I thought she was a reasonable woman from what my mum had said. and from the last two years in the office. But it was like being with a different person when working alongside her.
