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I pushed my sunglasses on top of my head as I ducked into the bookstore. The cold blast from the air conditioning was a welcome relief to the unrelenting heat of the sun. Breathing in the smell of aged books, I navigated the familiar shelves waiting for something to grab my attention, and something did.
"Hey Isabelle," I felt the hand on my shoulder before I had heard the voice.
"Hey Jeremy," I said as I turned around.
"How ya been?" Jeremy looked at his feet as he asked me the question, trying to turn on his boyish charm. I'd known him for a while now, we went to high school together, be we never became close friends, in large part to his shyness. He always seemed to be at a loss for words around me.
"I've been pretty good, how bout you?"
He nodded. "I saw you at the party last week." I cringed. "I wanted to come over and say hey, but you seemed a little preoccupied." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Was it that bad?" I knew he probably wasn't going to tell me the truth. He smiled sheepishly. "Did a lot of people see?" His grin took over his face, confirming my suspicions.
"What's the deal with you and Gavin?" He asked again looking at his feet. His shyness was cute in a boyish way.
"There is no deal between me and Gavin," and as far as I was concerned that was the gods honest truth. Jeremy's questioning gaze met mine. "He was extremely drunk as was I. That's all." Jeremy let out a huge sigh of relief.
"Well then," he said as he was wringing his hands. "You wouldn't mind having coffee with me sometime would you?"
The look on his face made me say yes more than anything. He was wearing his heart on his sleeve, and before I really thought about the idea, I just said yes. If anything, he could provide a useful distraction from Wilson and Gavin. And if it was a start, Jeremy was nothing like Wilson or Gavin, which gave him a huge plus in my book.
Jeremy and I started seeing each other on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes after work we'd meet for coffee or dinner. On the weekends, we'd meet for lunch and a movie, or we would go to the bookstore and spend the day browsing around. It was cute how well we got along. We never argued, which was something I did with everyone I knew, even playfully. It had all the trappings for becoming something perfect. Jeremy was really into me and I could tell, but there was still something off. It didn't matter though because I could tell it was really starting to get under Gavin's skin.
Gavin...now there was a thought. He still stopped by the apartment all the time, but I hadn't had an actual conversation with him in a month. We'd both been too preoccupied with what was on our minds to actually talk about it. The entire time we'd be in each others presence was spent furtively sneaking glances at each other, waiting for the other to break the silence. It was extremely juvenile, but we're both extremely stubborn.
When he'd first shown up at the door and I'd seen first hand what Wilson had done to his face, I wanted to kiss his bruises and lick his cuts. I wanted to help him support his weight as he gingerly shuffled over the threshold clutching his side. I wanted to apologize for being a raving lunatic but it wasn't like me to apologize. I'm not good at admitting I'm wrong and I'm pretty sure he didn't want to hear whatever lame excuse I could come up with. But over the weeks, Gavin's bruises and cuts healed but the tension between us didn't. I missed my best friend, but what was there to say?
We needed to talk about how it wouldn't work, we are best friend and we shouldn't cross that line. We needed to talk about how if that line was crossed β again, it would ruin everything. If I were another person, I'd be ecstatic he was coming onto me. But I'm not and I know him too well. He didn't really want me anyway. He kissed me and it shocked him. That's all. And as for me, he didn't have to know I'd been wrestling over my feelings for him for what seems like forever, but that's my problem, and I would deal with it.
We'd gone to some ball games, just the three of us, just like old times, but there was always a hint of awkwardness in the air inadequately hiding the change in our relationship. My brother pretended not to notice, just like he was doing tonight.
It was Friday night again, and this was usually 'our' night, but I hadn't spent a Friday with my brother or Gavin in awhile. My weekends were usually occupied with Jeremy. My brother was annoyed, and he said so.
"Wanna fly with us tonight?" My brother asked as I emerged from my bedroom and strode into the living room.
"Nah, I'm hangin with Jeremy tonight." Gavin snorted. My eyes flew to the recliner as I watched him watching me. He was slouched low in the chair scowling at me. I couldn't hold his gaze, and I looked away first.
"What, you too good for us now?" Brenden asked.
I ignored him.
"Where are you and pussy boy goin?" It was Gavin who spoke and his tone was oddly conversational; not matching the venom in his eyes at all. Honestly, I don't know why he cared at all.
"Mind your own business." That really pissed Gavin off. I smiled smugly as he shifted in his seat. I could see the emotions running across his face. He wasn't sure if he wanted to shoot me or strangle me.
"Where are you and Jeremy goin?" My brother asked rolling his eyes at Gavin's obvious display of irritation.
"To that coffee shop on Main." That was enough detail because there was only one Main Street and there was only one coffee shop on it. The perks of living in a small town. Gavin let out a throaty condescending laugh.
I narrowed my eyes at him and walked out the door as my brother threw a pillow at Gavin's head.
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By all accounts, Gavin should have been having a good time. The brunette grinding up against him was surely trying to make sure he did. She told him what her name was...Maria? Mary? Martha? He shook his head as he braced himself as she tried to get her ass as physically close to him as possible. He stared around the party completely uninterested.
At least Brenden was having a good time, He was chatting up some new girl in the corner. Gavin took another sip from his cup and noticed it was empty...again. Gavin moved out of the girls way without telling her, and he watched at she nearly fell flat on her ass. He shrugged and walked back to the kitchen to refill his cup...again.
If he let himself think about his alcohol consumption, he could directly correlate it to the amount of time he spent thinking about Red. The more she danced in his mind, the more he tried to drown her out. And tonight she was at a coffee shop with Jeremy. What the fuck was wrong with the world? And why the fuck should he care? As her best friend, he was still in the doghouse but he should be happy for her. If nothing else, he should be happy she was getting over that fucker Wilson.
He never should have kissed her.
He filled his cup and took a healthy gulp. He needed to talk to her and he needed to talk to her now. He couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. His lips were still tingling and he could taste her chap stick. He drained his cup and crushed it in his hand. He had to get a hold of himself. He was standing in the middle of this random kitchen, (whose house was he at anyway?), with a raging hard on thinking about some girl who was on a date with another guy. If he wanted, he could have had anyone at this party, but that's not what his mind was on. He wanted Red, and he wanted his Red now. Pandora's box was open, and he just needed to get her out of his system. If he did it once, he could do it again.
He shuffled through the dancing bodies to Brenden. Gavin didn't notice until he was on top of him that he was on the phone. Brenden held up a hand to Gavin as he told him it was still ringing.
_(*(*(-)*)*)_
The phone in my back pocket vibrated, nearly shocking me out of my seat. I looked at the display grateful for the distraction.