After spending weeks, maybe even months honestly, lamenting to my bestie over how lame 30 is, how it's been like a light switch for partying and fun, and about how hard it is to cut loose - she surprised me. A vague text message telling me to wear something scandalous and get ready to usher in the 'dirty thirties' for real. "Dirty thirties," I thought to myself, "exactly what I need right now." I messaged her back telling her to "get out of my head," and that she "always knows exactly what I need!" She replied with a wink. "Is this girls only or should I invite Dave?" I asked and not even a second later she replied.
"He is lame as fuck, you are constantly on and off, it's you and me tonight, no boys allowed." Amber proceeded to tell me about how hot this club is and that I should not hold back, that she went once before and everyone was insanely gorgeous and not afraid of showing off. "If we want any attention at all, we have to turn it up to 11, I swear..." My eyes widened and a slight trepidation came over me after reading that, my brain defaulting to shy introversion.
"What did you have in mind?" I replied.
A series of emojis flooded my screen before she started sending me pics of what she intended to wear - one of the shortest skirts I have ever seen on her and an incredibly low cut top showing off lots of her recently installed DD cleavage. "Holy fuck you were NOT kidding!! How have I not seen that leather skirt Ambie?" I sent after some drooling and fire emojis to get my best friends confidence up. I assured her we would be the hottest pair in the place and I would make sure to present myself as her mirror image.
Putting down my phone and finishing my hair, looking in said mirror, I was quite proud of the reflection staring back at me. Sure, I didn't get new fake tits like Amber did after her divorce, "but for 30," I thought to myself, "damn girl." My early-life crisis centered around working out and healthy eating. I spun around and grinned as I perked up my ass, even bouncing a bit and giggling to myself. The CrossFit was really paying off and my lunge+squat routines were worth their weight (or rather my asses weight) in gold.
"OK concentrate, we need to look awesome tonight," I snapped at myself, turning my attention to my wide array of lipstick colors and styles: "Pink, super high gloss. Cliche? Yes. Sends the right message though? Also yes." I grinned again puckering and applying it to my full lips. Strutting nude out of the bathroom, I headed for my closet, letting my fingers graze over each beautiful garment hanging neatly before me. "Oh yes, you'll do nicely." I pulled out a tight white lacy top with a deep V, along with one of my favorite push ups that make my C cups absolutely explode out of my top. I put these on first, shifting my tits until they were perked up perfectly. I wanted to honor my promise to Amber so I opened my skirt drawer, flipping through my options until I found a gorgeous, shorter-than-should-be-allowed pleated pink skirt. "Wow, we're going to look like good and evil, yin and yang, foul temptress and slightly less foul temptress." I burst out laughing, my nerves were making me ramble to myself and I could feel the adrenaline start to flow with excitement, even shaking a little as I put on the skirt, even more so as I stepped into my pristine white thong and slid it up over my toned thighs. I took a selfie in my bedroom mirror and sent it to Amber.
"You look awesome babe! Should I be on his left shoulder, or his right? hahaha," she texted back, "maybe heels though? I love those flats but with how sexy you look, you should def do stilettos. Don't worry, the men there are TALL. OH! here is the address to the club, don't worry they have secured parking! I'll see you at 10 sharp!!! xoxo."
I couldn't help being a little apprehensive, I never go to this part of town and security?! Full on stripper-wear? What did I agree too? Looking at myself in the mirror one final time a devilish smirk came over my lips... "Amber was right that slut, the heels do look better." I twirled and drank myself in, admiring the effect of all my hard work in the gym... again. "Stop being such a narcissist!" I scolded myself, but let's be honest, it's working - My 34Cs being perked up to the max and presented to the world, barely concealed by my deep cut V top with it's stringy, 'x' pattern. "It's a little over the top but I gotta compete with Ambers new DDs," I quip to myself under my breath, grinning again and grabbing my favorite clutch.
Easing myself into my coupe, my skirt so short that I can feel the cold leather of the seat on my ass. "Oh this is bad," I muse to myself, feeling a shiver run up my spine, seemingly ending on my stiff nipples. I look up and begin checking my lip-gloss in the rear-view, admiring how plump and full my lips look. I turn the ignition and feel my baby starting up, I love how she sounds... and in this moment it feels like my own engine is starting up too, already warm if I am being honest with myself.
I get off the highway and am immediately apprehensive. I don't know this area. There are lots of metal bars on the windows, lots of liquor stores and shady gas stations. Driving ever closer to this place, feeling very out of my element and breathing heavy, my chest trying to explode out of my push-up. "Turn Right!" navigation yells at me and doing as I am told, a row of mid-size buildings and neon lights fill my view. I drive slower now as people are drinking alongside the street and partying, lots of loud music and dancing, lots of black and Hispanic people, and very few, if any whites. I don't want to sound racist, but I felt a little out of place - I am pale and redheaded after all and this is certainly not the environment I grew up in!
GPS finally takes me into the parking lot, a barbed wire fence with a large muscled black man guarding the entrance - He took the cigar out of his mouth as he let me approach, then came to my window.
"Parking is 10 little mama," he sort of half whispered and half growled, smirking at me and looking right down my cleavage... I wanted to be mad, but here I was presenting and blushing while doing it.
"OK. Can you break a twenty sir?" I asked politely, reaching into my clutch for cash.
"Oh I can break more than that little lady, and referring to me as sir already, well trained!" he exclaimed... my mouth was agape, my brain still catching up to what he said before he burst into a deep hearty laugh. "Hahaha relax, I'm just messing with you. Go ahead and pull in the back, I'll keep an eye on your benzo, promise" he grinned and winked, waving me in. Right as my bumper crossed the threshold of this place I heard my name being screamed from the back of the lot, I smiled and pulled up to Amber.
"Don't turn off the car yet," she giggled as she hopped into the passenger seat, "I've got to pregame your nervous ass." She locked eyes with me and quipped, "great cleavage, loving the energy." I blushed as she grabbed my hand and placed hers on top of it, coyly opening her palm and revealing two pills.
"AMBER WHAT THE FUCK!! You know I have not done that since college... you fucking bitch." she giggled again, almost mockingly.
