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Chap. 1 (Intro-Jamil)
"Hey, is this thing on?"
"Yes,"
"Okay, can I just start talking?"
"Yes,"
"Hello, my name is Jamil Stanford. I'm 30 years of age. I'm Black...uh...or should I be PO-litically correct and say African-American?"
"I could give TWO shits less, boy," said the man as he held up two fingers, which parted slightly.
"Well, I know damn well when a tired, out of shape, pack a day smoking officer of the law is running down a back alley chasing a brotha, he ain't thinking 'I got to get this AFRICAN-AMERICAN'! His ass is thinking I'm going to catch this BLACK son of a ...,"
"Alright-alright, we get the picture," said the man, dismissively.
"Sorry, I tend to go there. Anyways, I'm 5'7", 185lbs. Yeah, I'm short. But I ain't short AND skinny! Yeah, as you can imagine, I've heard just about every imaginable put-down concerning my height so let's get that out of the way. I'm originally from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. But, I moved south after getting out of the Army and I now live in Macon, GA. I don't have any children (honest!) I completed three years of college before getting kicked out for selling weed. My major was psychology. I do have plans to return, but right now I'm satisfied with just working".
"Son, what does that have to do with why your ass is sitting here?!" said the man.
"Okay...calm your damn nerves! I'm getting there. Since I'M the one being recorded. I want all of the facts as I know them to be true and elements involved to be presented and explained. Now, as I was about to say... Right now, I'm sitting in the Macon, GA police department interrogation room. Across from me is the honorable sheriff, Buford Slupski. I'm being questioned about several alleged allegations of blackmail and robbery. On WHITE WOMEN and their homes, no less! My lawyer, Antonio Gigliotti is also present,"
"Before I start with what truly happened, let me preface by saying this. The fact that I'm even here is BULLSHIT!" I've never been with a white woman before I came down south just over four years ago. I traveled overseas while in the military and YES, I bedded quite a few European women, but I don't count them as white. WHY, YOU ASK?! Because European women, for the most part, have a different view of Black men and people, for the most part. While I was over doing my tour of duty, I never sensed that they turned their noses up at the sight of Black men. They didn't present that 'southern belle' bullshit when they were in proximity of Black men. American white women pull that shit ALL THE TIME! Acting like there is a good chance a brotha won't be able to control his lust or something. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! One thing is certain, the myth of 'chaste sacred white womanhood was not created by the southern white woman, the Black woman, or the Black man. It seems to me that it was invented by the southern white man to salve his own guilt," said Jamil.
"Guilt?! What guilt?" asked the sheriff, incredulously.
"Guilt that seems to stem primarily from the white man's persistent, clandestine activities with BLACK women. I think out of this guilt grew fear-if white slaveowners found it difficult to stay away from the 'animal' attraction of Black women, would it not be possible that his own wife could feel that same attraction toward Black men? The second source of guilt I see is the sense of immorality about a society founded and maintained on the principles of human slavery. The southern way of life had to be justified somehow. A symbol had to be created, an idea of grace and purity that would go to war with a civilization shot through with shame, bigotry, and the INHUMAN treatment of nearly six million Black people,"
"I believe 'sacred white womanhood' emerged in the south as an immaculate mythology to glorify an otherwise indecent society. Then those ignorant motherfuckers come up with what I like to call the 'rape complex'...as if Black men had access to defenseless, clueless southern white women on the regular! PUL-LEASE! Listen, sheriff, the hypocrisy and sexual immorality of the south SEEMS to escape the mental abilities of the southern white woman. Why? I don't know. But, perhaps, it is her very knowledge of these things that has driven her out of a sense of guilt through COMPLICITY, to pretend that they did not exist, to shut her eyes and succumb to a mode of living and thinking that all but has dehumanized her. Made her a shell of herself. Over time, the southern white woman has accepted the sterile role her husband insisted she play. She became doll, an ornament, like a beautiful painting on a wall that is admired and given lip service by everyone but which is actually loved by no one. American white women, from my experiences, have allowed themselves to be DELUDED with the idea that ALL Black men want them in a sexual way. That same 'thinking' has resulted in numerous lynchings and vicious beatdowns (authors note: click on Emmitt Till).
"SO, as you can see, I've never had a true love or attraction towards white women, sheriff," said Jamil.
"But, son, SOMEHOW, your ass is sitting in county lockup! Go figure!" said the smirking sheriff, as he realized that he had never met a spearchucker who spoke so eloquently. Not that he knew what the word meant.
"Well, if you've been near a television set in the last year, you've seen the company I work for, Direct TV, and our commercials. Digital cable. 130 channels. Our commercials are wild as hell! I'm sure you've seen the one where in the beginning of the commercial, there is a room of Direct TV employees in this room working on CPR dummies. Then the next frame, as a Direct TV representative is explaining the available digital cable packages, he falls out, and the guy jumps down and begins CPR," said Jamil.
"Or the one where the woman is hugging the Direct TV guy for a really long time and the husband is just standing there looking embarrassed. Then when she finally lets him go, the husband grabs him for a hug. You can't believe how that commercial has affected our relations with customers!"
"Ah, yeah, but boy this ain't telling me a dollop of shit about what we supposed to be talking about...get to the gatt-damned story, ALREADY!" said Buford rather testily.
"Okay, shit! Calm your nerves! Where would you like to start?" asked Jamil.
"Rachel Stanwick from the old money Stanwicks," said the sheriff.
"Rachel. Built like a brick shithouse. Redhead. Big titties, full lips, ass and hips sorta like a sista," said a smiling Jamil.
[cough...cough...cough]
"Yeah...that'd be the one, son," said the sheriff, finally. His face was red. Jamil knew that the sheriff thought that he was supposed to be scared because he was sitting in a police station. But he wasn't. FUCK HIM! He knew he had not done any of the shit they were trying to charge him with.